A/N: Since you reviewer chappoes asked for them, I've got some Pirates of the Caribbean cameos for ya! Sorry this chapter took so long! Sumimasen! My muse was a million miles away for a while! I'll try to manage every two weeks, if that doesn't piss you all off too much or kill me muse, m'kay? ...Uh, emphasis on the "Try".
It was a few days after Rufus Shinra had been captured and left to die on a sandbar. No one was sure of his fate, and frankly no one cared.
They were all too busy being bored beyond words.
There was an annoying lack of shade on the sloop, and the wood was scorching hot. Cloud and Vincent, in a moment of desperation, had tied ropes around their waists, and jumped off the back of the ship.
They had to be hauled back up to the ship because the shock of diving into amazingly cold water paralyzed them.
Nanaki was having a particularly bad time of it. His nose was completely dry, and the sun was most cruel to him. He nearly fell out of the crow's nest when something hit him on the head. He looked at it, and immediately took it to Tess.
Far away, on a ship with the black sails in tatters, the paint peeling, and in a general state of disrepair, a chubby pirate with a balding head was being berated by his captain.
"What did you do that for, you stinkin' bilge rat? That was the eight hundred eighty-second piece of the treasure!" the captain yelled.
"Sorry, Captain Barbossa! I didn't expect the girl to throw it when I called her poppit!" the other pirate cried, cringing.
Captain Barbossa glared at the man some more. "Now we have to figure out where it went! It'll probably be another ten years of searching!"
"Sorry!"
Barbossa gave him one last look of disgust, and stomped off to his cabin.
A girl, bound and gagged, was glaring angrily at him. Her dark green eyes burned hatred at him, and she yelled something through the red cloth that had previously been her headscarf.
"Mmmph mmph mmph mmmmph!" she yelled, or tried to.
"Shut your hole, stupid girl. It's your fault that we lost the last treasure piece," Barbossa grumbled. I wonder what she was saying?
She growled at him. Barbossa growled back. They continued growling at each other and trying to see how much hatred the other could put into their growls until they were interrupted by someone knocking at Barbossa's door.
"What do you want?" he snapped, turning from the girl, who immediately snickered and muttered something that sounded like "I win!"
"Ship sighted off the port bow, sir!"
Barbossa jumped up, and stormed out of his cabin, Jack the monkey following close behind. Once outside, he pulled a telescope out of his coat pockets.
-
"Where did you find this, Nanaki?" Tess asked, looking the coin over.
"It hit me on the head," Nanaki said. "Told you before."
"From what direction?"
"Starboard, I think."
Tess didn't answer immediately. Instead she went to the starboard side, and pulled out her telescope. She surveyed the horizon.
"Aha!" she muttered. Nanaki looked at her quizzically. She pulled the coin out of her pocket again, and held it in her hand. Soon, a thick fog began to roll up out of nowhere, and an intense breeze began blowing. With the breeze came thick clouds, obscuring the sun.
"Hey, who turned off the sun?" Yuffie asked, coming out of whatever dark hollow the Ninja had been hiding in.
"Nanaki, find Captain Sephiroth. Yuffie, find Cait Sith, and tell him to get to that ship over there ASAP!" Tess said.
The Black Pearl had just come into view.
On the Pearl, Barbossa was staring at the Scourge. He smirked. "The last piece is on that ship, men!" he yelled to the assembled pirates. The pirates cheered.
In the brig, a pirate with a wooden eye was leading the girl to an open cell. Directly across from her was Jack Sparrow.
"What are you down here for?" Jack asked.
"Chuckin' a bit of shine. One o' them stupid cursed coins," she said. Her voice was similar to Tess', though less educated, and closer to a Cockney accent. "Your name?"
"Jack Sparrow. You?"
"Sam Stryker." She put her headscarf back on, holding back her black hair.
-
On the Scourge, the crew was shown the ship. Cloud expressed his amazement that the ship could even sail with its sail like that.
"You don't know that ship. That ship is cursed, and my cousin is on it. She became a pirate before me, and Barbossa captured her a month ago. The only reason I became a pirate was so I could find her," Tess said. "That coin must be kept as far away from them as possible."
She turned to Cait Sith. "That zipper on the back of your mog."
"Yeah, what about it?"
She tossed the coin to him. "Stick this in there." She turned to Sephiroth. "If these guys board our ship, the only thing we can do is try to keep them away from Cait Sith. They want the coin to lift the curse."
Sephiroth nodded. "Can we knock them into the water?"
Tess shrugged. "Probably, but I don't know what good it would do. They're... like zombies. Undead, and whatnot. They can't drown, or be killed."
The crew of the Scourge watched with bated breath, as they waited for their undead foes to approach. Then Sephiroth had an idea.
"Tess. How easy is it to take these guys by surprise?" he asked.
Tess shrugged again. "Dunno. Very easy, probably. They're real cocky. Why?"
"Tell everyone to hide. Like when we captured Yuffie. Your tonfu blasters are air-powered, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, go up to the crow's nest and shoot the first one! Then we'll see what happens!"
Tess grinned evilly. She knew what would happen. General, unconstrained, unadulterated chaos. Riding up on a pillar of air, she took aim at the balding pirate Barbossa had been yelling at.
Soon the Black Pearl was within firing range.
Barbossa and his crew watched the ship with apprehension.
"There's no way a ship would be sitting abandoned in the middle of the sea," Barbossa's first mate muttered.
"Unless they're hiding. Careful, men," Barbossa said.
In the crow's nest, Tess grinned. Time to twist her orders. With her blasters aimed right at the balding pirate's forehead, she fired both of them, and floated out of the crow's nest.
Behind a barrel, Sephiroth swore. "What are you doing, Tess?" he muttered.
"Long time no see, Barbossa. Just as ugly as ever," Tess shouted.
"I'm undead, not deaf, idiot!" he yelled back.
"Why are we all yelling?" asked the pirate Tess had shot, standing up.
"Cuz we feel like it!" Tess shouted back, shooting him again. She began to stall, as she began gathering the fog around her own ship. She and Barbossa continued hurling insults at each other, even after the Scourge was completely hidden by the fog. Then Tess fell silent.
She floated down behind Sephiroth, who was livid.
"Tess, what the hell are you doing!" he hissed.
"You'll see," she replied, disappearing from sight in the fog. Sephiroth swore again.
Meanwhile, Tess had reappeared behind the massively confused crew of the Pearl, who were wondering where all their trademark fog had gone. Tess slowly floated down to the brig, pulling a hairpin out of her coat pocket. She landed softly in front of Sam's cell, and picked the lock. Holding a finger to her lips, she led Sam out and over to the Scourge.
As she floated up the stairs, Jack yelled, "Hey! What about me?"
Doing some swift intros between Sam and Sephiroth, she flew back to the Pearl, and created some mass chaos by shoving Barbossa into the water, and flying back to the Scourge. Sephiroth ordered Cloud to get the slaves going, and Tess sent the sloop screaming away.
There was general disarray on the Pearl, as a sopping wet Barbossa was hauled back onto the ship.
"Dammit!" he cursed. "I'll have both their heads!"
-
Was that worth the month-plus wait? I hope it was. Thanks to all you reviewer chappoes! But... now I need ideas. T.T My muse says he disagrees with pirates, and is going to make this difficult for me. But... when should I put Barbossa and those lot back in? Oh, and before I forget, what's a blog? Anyone know? And if you think a rap version of "Another One Bites the Dust" would be stupid, don't get the Queen greatest hits 3 CD. Cuz it's there. Please tell me what the hell a blog is! And review some of my other stories, too. I'm desperate!