A/N : I don't own Doctor Who, as much as I wish I did. There would be one hell of a lot more Doctor/Jack kisses if I did, for a start.

On that note, this story contains SLASH, and a Doctor/Jack pairing. If you're uncomfortable with that, I'd suggest you don't read it. It's also continued on from my stories 'Gone' and 'Lost', though could be read as a stand-alone. This will probably be my last Doctor Who fic for a while, as I'm feeling the need to move onto other fandoms.

Jack's never been able to figure out why the Doctor's with him. The guy was a Time Lord, for hell's sake. That just about equalled a god. A god who could have anyone or anything he chose.

Jack had been chosen.

He fingered the bite mark on his neck, examining it in the bathroom mirror. It looked nasty. A wide smile sprung onto his face, and he dropped his hand from his neck. This entire thing with him and the Doctor was just crazy.

But Jack had come to the conclusion that crazy was good. If crazy meant mind-blowing sex, then it was great, not good. He splashed cold water on his face, still listening for the sound of the Doctor waking up in the next room. It was early, he thought. He'd never quite got the hang of telling time while travelling (and god-knows the jet-lag was awful) but it felt early.

He should really have been sleeping, tucked tightly next to the Doctor. Especially since the Doctor had done an excellent job of 'distracting' him from rest for most of last night. Not that the Jack regretted it; a night in the Doctor's bed was a night well spent. He was tired, though. He'd probably end up falling asleep during whatever adventure they had tomorrow.

But he couldn't sleep. That was unusual for him; it seemed that he could never sleep these days. He stayed awake, staring straight up at the ceiling with the Doctor's arms curled tight around him, and fought the urge to run.

It wasn't even an urge. If it was an urge, he could have easily dealt with it, but it was an instinct and that was completely different. An instinct clawed at your mind and pulsed through your body, strong and over-riding. He wanted to ignore it, he wanted to lie in the Doctor's embrace, but he wasn't sure if he could. He hadn't trusted anyone in too long.

He'd even managed to convince himself that that was best. If a man is an island, then he's safe. If a man is an island, he can't have two years of his bloody memory stolen.

Jack grabbed for the blue towel and dried his face on it. He kept his face buried there, breathing deeply.

He was safe here. On this ship, in the TARDIS, he was very safe. Safe and cared for and loved and he still had that instinct to run and protect himself. To fence himself off to stop anyone from getting in.

But the Doctor had already managed to work his way in. With cocky smiles and constant banter, followed by kisses that left him breathless and six that left him trembling. Yes, the Doctor had already wormed into Jack's heart and that wasn't safe. That wasn't safe at all.

Rose, too. She wasn't in his bed, but she was a friend. Jack hadn't had a friend in years. He hadn't had anyone who cared for him without demanding his body in return, so he wasn't sure how to respond to Rose and her innocent friendship.

"Jack?" He lowered the towel from his face as the Doctor called his name, to see the other man standing in the bathroom doorway. Naked, unlike Jack who had slipped on some loose jogging bottoms before walking through here. Jack allowed himself a moment to marvel at how human the Doctor looked. "You're up."

"Good to see you're still observant this early in the morning."

"And good to see you're still sarcastic. How do you manage it?"

"It's a gift."

"It's a pain." Jack grinned and placed the towel on the rack.

"And you're up too?"

"I woke and you weren't there." Jack watched the Doctor's jaw clench, and those pain-filled eyes glanced down, and felt something swell inside him. Perhaps it was love, perhaps it was pity, perhaps it was something else. It felt large. "I was worried."

Jack looked down too, guilty rising. The Doctor still wasn't over that stunt he'd (almost) pulled with Thomas a couple of months ago. Jack doubted if he'd ever be. "Well, I'm here, so no worrying's required."

The Doctor looked sceptical, and Jack knew he wouldn't be leaving for a long while yet. It scared him a little. A lot. He felt trapped. But it was a good trapped, a safe trapped, so who was he to complain?

It scared him even more to think of what might have happened if the Doctor had allowed him to leave with Thomas. Sure, maybe Thomas really would have been able to get Jack's memories back. Or maybe that was just a load of Thomas's usual bullshit.

Still, no use thinking about it now. What's done is done. He was here, he was with the Doctor, he was trapped.

The Doctor moved forwards, bare feet silent on the tiles, until his arms slid around Jack's waist. Jack leapt his head on the Doctor's shoulder, still distant.

It was hard not to break away, not to make some excuse that would put some distance between them. Because the gentle arms around him, the soft warmth of breath against his ear, and the hard thudding of two hearts made him feel safe, secure. Two things he hadn't banked on feeling ever again, so it made him nervous to have the emotions awakened.

"What if I want to worry?" A whispered question, and the brush of lips by his ear made Jack shiver. He was suddenly glad that the Doctor's arms were there to keep him upright.

It took him a few moments to gather his thought and pulled back to look at the Doctor's face. There was concern there, unhidden and unashamed. It made him feel special and guilty, and that he was so far out of his depth? What the hell was he doing? The Doctor deserved to be with someone… better.

Still, Jack grinned because he was Captain Jack Harkness and grinned and what he did. Grinning and drinking and flirting and fucking and lying and conning. What else was there?

Loving?A small voice in the back of his mind suggested. He ignored it. "You're free to worry if you want, Doc. Just don't blame me when you start getting wrinkles." He tapped by the side of the Doctor's face, expecting a grin, but he didn't get one. The Doctor continued to frown and look almost suspicious.

"Are you alright?" Full of genuine concern, and Jack considered being truthful. How would the Doctor react if he said 'no', if he admitted that he wanted to leave again? Jack didn't want to know.

He kissed the Doctor instead, short and chaste, before breaking away and walked out of the light and into the dusky bedroom. "You know me." He answered with a shrug.

The Doctor stepped forwards and leaned against the doorframe, silent, and for a few long moments Jack was scared that the Doctor did know him, that the Doctor knew him all too well. Those piercing eyes seemed to see right through him, uprooting all of his instincts and dirty little secrets.

Then the Doctor smiled and the illusion was broken. The Doctor was the Doctor again – goofy, charming, scary – and most of that otherworldly presence had faded from his face. The Doctor walked forwards until they were flush against each other, only the thin barrier of Jack's trousers between them.

"You'd tell me? If something wasn't alright you'd tell me? Right?" The Doctor gave him that needy gaze that scared Jack so much, so he took the only available option. He lied. Lied with his speech, lied with his body, acted the way that he knew the Doctor wanted him to.

He placed a chaste kiss on the Doctor lips. "Right." He confirmed with a firm nod, then slid to his knees. With a minimal amount of foreplay, he took the Doctor inside his mouth, glad that his years of experience as a conman had paid off. Lying was easy when you knew how.

-fin-