Chapter 13: Feelings

The sunlight beckoned her wake, and despite having received a good 9 hours of sleep, she felt a huge urge to ignore it. The sun was lovingly warm, yet cruel in its interruption of her peaceful dreams. Never had Kagome slept quite so soundly before. Before she opened her eyes, she knew the sun was shining brightly, for her skin was already slightly damp with sweat under its rays. She sighed with her eyes closed when she realized how warm the day was going to be. However, when she shifted, she noticed that a fiery feeling followed with her. She froze in her movement and panicked for about half a second when she realized that it wasn't the rays of the sun that kept her warm, but someone else's skin.

Her eyes opened in a flash and found herself face first in red clothing and silver hair. She calmed when she obviously assumed it to be her hanyou, and she lifted her head to see his sleeping face, marked with peaceful thoughts in the relaxed muscles on his face. Her eyes went wide under the realization that he had stayed out all night with her like this. How grateful she was that he wasn't awake to see her blush a deep pink. Lowering her gaze out of shame, she rested her temple against his collar bone once more, and pondered how this could be. Never would she have expected this from Inuyasha, and to be held so… securely.

Faint memories of the night before flooded her mind. She knew she had been so sleepy she could barely keep her eyes open, or her thoughts on the same page when she was with him. All she could remember clearly were the strong arms that embraced her in her dreams, and never let go even upon waking. She remembered thinking when he apologized how much she wanted to be in his arms, and how she lied up against him to grant her own wish. But everything else was a blur. His grasp was gentle but firm, in a way that made her heart sing. The feeling of his blood stream pressed to her skin flooded her vision with unanswered questions. She would bite her own tongue to forbid herself from asking, if she only had to courage to move again. 'Why is he doing this? This isn't like him at all. Could it be that…?'

She lifted her head once more to look at him, and distinctly saw the corners of his lips were curved into a gentle smile. Her ears picked up a sound that couldn't be called snoring, but a rumbling within his throat that called out to her inquisition. 'Why is he smiling like that, so dreamily? He never smiles like that. Never! What could he be dreaming about that's making him so happy?'

His chest gave way a bit as a sound much like a combination between a sigh and a whimper expelled all air from his lungs. It dug into her skin, would have thrown her back if she had been standing, and she would have welcomed its mark on her heart, if she had believed that it was meant for her. Yet the reality of the past two years reminded her of what had become obvious to her every time. 'He's dreaming about Kikyo.'

Her face saddened and she heaved a breath of disappointment. It was a fool's paradise for her to think that that sigh and that smile belonged to her. Carefully removing his arms from her, she stepped away from him and gulped away the lump in her throat that emerged when she left his touch. The simple action left her vulnerable, naked to the world that sought to harm her. But she would not return to the embrace of her protector, for it was a promise she could never have. Drops of sacred and precious water that slipped through her hand to quench the thirst of another.

It didn't faze her that his smile suddenly faded when she stood. 'He probably thinks he was holding Kikyo. Hell, I probably just remind him of Kikyo every day, every moment… when he looks at me.'

The look that could make her sprout wings belonged to the dead miko and the dead miko alone. The thought was enough to bring tears to her eyes, and they burned her eyelids. Kagome rubbed her eyes before they could emerge. It soothed her vulnerability, if not for a moment. After all, she couldn't be that unhappy that she had woken up with Inuyasha, right? It was more than she could have ever hoped for. Her gaze moved to the forest in the direction of the northwest, where the well was waiting for her to return. 'Maybe I should go back. It's been a while. I still need to move some stuff here. Still need to make sure I have everything I'll need for a while. I guess Inuyasha wouldn't like me going back that often anymore. I wonder if he'll even like that I'm staying for good.'

Her gaze returned to his sleeping form. 'I wonder if he'll be mad if I go back now. He is sleeping, anyway.'

Another deep breath from the hanyou was enough to convince her. She would let the stubborn leader sleep, for now. Still, she took out a notepad and wrote a small explanation to put on his lap before departing.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Inuyasha had been so tired after running nearly two days; in slumber he was still a few hours away from recovering. The sun singed his ear, and they twitched automatically. It was this alone that brought him out of his sleep. His eyes squinted as he opened them, and he could just make out the outline of a figure in front of him, watching him. Thanks to his dream's temporary loss of inhibitions, he did not hinder the smile that came fast to this cheeks as he remembered who he had fallen asleep with. But once his sight adjusted as did his state of mind, he was disappointed to find a young kitsune eyeing him curiously. Inuyasha jumped back slightly, or as far as the rock behind would let him and he glared at Shippou.

The innocent look on the young one's face would have been enough to tame the heart of anyone else, but not Inuyasha. As always, a bonk on the head was his reward for curiosity. He fell backwards onto the grass in a soft tumble. When he sat up again, his lips puckered and he rubbed his head, "What did I do?"

"Keh!" Inuyasha crossed his arms and smoothed over the clothes that had clung to his skin overnight.

It didn't go unnoticed when Inuyasha looked around for something he may have lost. He sulked back down to a full sitting position and crossed his arms, obviously having failed. Shippou recovered from the pain on his scalp and asked, "Why did you look so strange when you were sleeping?"

"How the hell should I know if I'm sleeping, baka?"

"And why were you out here all night?"

Inuyasha froze and sweat appeared in a small drop on his temple. He shifted his gaze to the valley. "Uh… I… I just fell asleep. So what of it? Get out of her before I kick you out!"

He raised his fist in the air to emphasize his point. Shippou moved his hands in front of him as a sorry attempt to stop the abuse. "Just wait till Kagome gets back. She'll sit you again, she will!"

His head shot upright. "Nani!"

Shippou lifted the small piece of paper up to the hanyou's nose, and it was snatched from his grasp. The little one immediately cowered away, for who was to know if Inuyasha was in the mood to kill the messenger. His angry amber eyes ran over the note, and seeing what it said, he quickly got to his feet. "That bitch!"

He ran off before Shippou could see the worry in his eyes, nor for Inuyasha to be able to see his smirk. As he ran in the direction of the well, his amber eyes became burdened with the weight of the world. He had thought this worry was over now. Saku was supposed to make it so Kagome wouldn't go back home, yet the morning after he came back, she took off. Not only that, she took off from the safety of his embrace, which had lulled him to sleep the night before in magical ways he couldn't even comprehend. His mind still burned from the race of images that had kissed his soul delicately and manipulatively.

It was hard to admit that the night prior made him feel, dare he say, special. It gave him a sense of a great honor, like he had saved the world and was receiving her warmth in return. This was something no one else could have, in his mind. Her skin had been so welcoming; it lapped at his own; drank from his veins. Her blood thus was his blood. Somewhere within that night, a part of him had slipped out of place. The part that had broken the gates and gave battle cries into the summer night in hopes to be set free upon the world to feast on its resources. A primal need to push it back assailed him, just as powerful as the layers of golden amber in his eyes. He silently berated himself for falling asleep out there with her. He should have known that he wouldn't be able to, what with the lullaby of her touch.

The frustration of his self-control gave way to frustration over her absence. His teeth formed a hard and distinct snarl as he marched through the otherwise peaceful forest. He didn't have far to get to the well. With any luck, he would stop her in time. Inuyasha was definitely not in the mood to compete with any of her friends and family at home.

"INUYASHA!"

Ragged sharp pangs came up through his throat and choked him. Electricity shot from his brain to his finger tips, causing them to sprawl out automatically. His knuckles cracked at the hard movement. His already fast pace broke into a sprint of sprints, the feet barely touching the ground as he rushed to wherever Kagome's dead and broken body might already be. In his worry he became slightly blinded in the woods, and nearly tripped over some roots. Reaching his claws into space, he tore down any bush in his way, not even willing to take the time to go around, not even taking the time to watch his own skin from bleeding against the ground or the leaves.

The scream had come from his original destination, the well. Inuyasha could just see the clearing in the distance, and was lucky so far in that he couldn't smell the reek of her blood. But when he arrived, the field was empty. He stopped momentarily to sniff around. There had been no youkai nearby recently. Nor fire, nor disease. No matter though, he followed the girl's flowery scent to the opening of the well.

A frightened whimper rasped from him when he saw Kagome, unconscious on the floor of the well. She lay on one side with her knees curled up and her arms sprawled out in opposite directions. Now the hanyou's fear blew into a full-grown panic, and he leapt into the well. His feet landed on the soft soil so as to not hurt her, and he fell to his knees immediately. "Kagome!"

He didn't even wait for a response and took her into his arms. Once, he shook her, "Kagome? Kagome!"

Nothing. There was no sign of blood, nor youkai, nor disease, and she appeared to be unharmed. Having not the wits about him nor the skills, he jumped from the well along with her limp body and sped back for Kaede's hut. His thoughts slurred and blended like ebbs in a pool. 'Kagome… wha… I don't…. please God…'

Shippou had been silently picking flowers when he heard the panting breath of an approaching Inuyasha. His small eyes just caught the image of him shooting past him towards the hut with Kagome in his arms. "Kagome!" he yelled after her.

In response to the commotion, the old miko immerged and gasped slightly as she saw Inuyasha halt before her. His words weren't even coming out straight due to his loud panting. "Wha… Kagome, how…. There was nothing… What…. Happened…Wake up…"

His arms stretched out slightly, asking, pleading for Kaede to help her. She didn't even hesitate. "Put her on the futon."

Everyone went inside as Inuyasha settled next to Kagome and Kaede. Once doing a quick check, Kaede released her breath. "She's just fainted."

The hanyou's nose wrinkled. "What are you talking about?" 'Thank God…. Kagome…'

"I mean she's fainted. Something might have severely frightened her. What happened, Inuyasha?"

He fought back to urge to grab a hold of Kagome somehow, to confirm that she was in fact okay He kept his gaze on her though, as if suspicious of her behavior, as to whether he could believe it or not. "Hell if I know. I came to get her from going back to her time, but I just found her on the bottom of the well, unconscious."

Sango looked to the older woman for answers, "Maybe she hit her head while she went through the portal."

Kaede furrowed her brow to think more on this. "I doubt it. My guess is that something spooked her. Could there be a youkai back at her time?"

Inuyasha sneered, "Keh! There's no-."

As the information slowly built together in his mind, his eyes flashed open and his face fell. Miroku watched as his face turned to a light pale, and his eyes to explode into a million gold specks of shock. And the monk pondered if it was the same shock that had caused Kagome to faint. "Inuyasha?"

His ears and fingers twitched repeatedly as his body coped with the panic. The rise and fall of blood and muscles and power shot through him like an arrow, piercing him senseless and vulnerable. What seemed like a million images flashed through his mind. Kagome, Kikyo, Kouga, the well, her era, her school… Kagome, her mother, her brother, her grandfather… Kagome, the shikon jewels, Hojo, wild flowers, Kagome… rain, running, the dark voice, the priestess, the coins that left his hand…….. Kagome. 'Her time?... It can't be….'

Fast as his legs always proved to be, he leapt for the door and continued his sprint. The amber eyes quaked under the fury of his emotions. The hands that saved him countless times had somehow lost their slick movements to cut down a clear path to the well. Something haunting his bones rose all the way to his ears, causing him to become deaf in it. What it was, he did not know. Somewhere rising within his thoughts, he began to worry… if he had made the biggest mistake of all time.

The facts that swirled together in front of him mocked his stupidity, mocked his selfish pride and his aching. Scoffed that he did not notice it before. It didn't even matter. They could jeer all they want, he knew the minute he heard Kaede's words, the minute he felt the pangs of an unknown feeling invade his heart. Knew from the sound of Kagome's scream and current state. "This isn't what I wanted for her," he whispered as silent as the stars.

As he leapt over the opening and into the well, he held onto a prayer. That somehow he was wrong, because he couldn't be right. For her sake, he just couldn't. It would mean something so beyond his control, so unfixable. The promise it offered for the unconscious girl was not something he was willing to accept. In fact he knew he would fight to the death to make sure it wasn't so. The feeling he know recognized as guilt bombarded his troubled mind with a sort of eternal damnation, not for him, but for she whom he loved.

Finally, his feet landed hard upon the damp ground below the well's opening, and the cold bitter reality struck him straight through to the heart. An understanding of what had happened when he found Kagome, why she had screamed, why everything.

They had not gone through the portal.

To be continued…

Dun dun duuuuun… Yeah, yeah. I know. The cliffie to end all cliffies. Gomen, but it's just that important. You'll like the next chapter. Aaaaah, fluff. Be real nice and I'll post this one early! (wink wink)

So my computer is being a pain in the ass and for some reason isn't letting me see my reviews so I can comment on them today! But rather than wait til I can, I thought you'd all prefer a new chapter anyway. Haha, see you all next time!

(HUGS!) for everyone!