I wrote soooo much this weekend, so I'm willing to put in a few chapters a little more quickly this week, so check early. Go me! Haha! Please read and respond, everyone!

Chapter 14: Guilt

Just to be sure, he peered up towards the well's opening, only to see the clear sky of a beautiful day. One that should have been shared in happiness and now seemed dark and unwelcome to the miko's wretched fate. An invisible gloom now only seen by the hanyou had spread over the landscape and infiltrated its virgin soul with a lifeless gray, a lifeless cold. Inuyasha leapt from the well, then jumped in again; leapt from the well, and jumped in once more. Ten times he did this with no avail. His own mind sneered at him saying, 'This is what you wanted, wasn't it, you low-life?'

His head shook softly, for he had not the strength to protest himself. "No…. never… I…"

Like a poisonous insect laying eggs in his skin, his body shivered and convulsed under the pangs of shame that threw his heart into a tornado of emotion. Watching as Kagome would go through the well back to her time, where he couldn't follow her, there was pain there. And a horrible pain at that. The infinite youkai that pierced his sides with claws or weapons, that was painful. Yet a simple feeling had managed to bring him to his knees, made him bow before the cold earth, made him doubt everything he had prior believed.

For two years, he had watched Kagome abandon him for her own time, school, friends, and family. Every time she left, he had wondered if she ever was coming back again, or if she was to be captured by their promises of affection. A kiss from her friend told him he was loosing the battle to keep her, that it was perhaps a matter of days before she told him she was leaving the hanyou and the others behind. He remembered now how frightened he had been, how careless he was becoming under his fear.

But never in a million years did he wish for Kagome to be separated from her family forever. Never would he wish for her to lose anything or anyone she loved. Now he could already smell her tears and hear her sobs as her family slipped away from her grasp, from her love and devotion. Somewhere in the corner of his mind, he could see Kagome reaching out for her family, no matter how far away they might seem. She wanted to run to them, he knew it in his heart of hearts. A monstrous clawed hand grabbed a hold of her and kept her from returning to them, sought to hide her away from that which he didn't want to admit would bring her joy.

"Oh God, what have I done?" he mumbled.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

With a shove, Sango pushed Miroku out of the hut. No way she was letting a lecher near an unconscious girl. She then settled next to her unconscious friend and followed Kaede's instructions while she was out for the moment collecting herbs. Once she put some logs on the fire, she lit one of Kagome's matches so the girl would stay warm as she slept. As the embers crackled into flames, she unfolded some blankets and placed them on the sleeping miko, and tucked in the edges.

However, the action caused the girl to stir, and Sango eyed her curiously as her eyes opened. "Kagome-chan?"

Her brown eyes still looked hazy. It took a few seconds for her to focus completely. Her hand went straight to her head, which was pounding something awful. She made a face and a grunt of pain, shutting her eyes tight to block out the dizziness. Sango held a hand to her forehead, "You don't seem to have a fever. Are you alright?"

"I… guess so. What happened?" Her mind was still groggy.

"I have no idea. According to Inuyasha, you just took off towards the well."

Her body sprang upright. "The well!" she exclaimed.

Her fingers trembled as she threw the many blankets off of her. As she scrambled to get up, the floor slipped beneath her feet. Once gaining her footing, she ran through, or rather tore down the bead door on her way out. Sango ran after her, "Kagome-chan! What's wrong?"

Kagome couldn't hear her, wouldn't hear her, because a part of her wouldn't even hear her own memory. It all seemed like a dream to her. The well had not allowed her to pass through to her own time, to her family. She remembered how surprised she was when she had fallen right to the cold floor. She had fallen to her knees, and for a moment, eyed her newly twisted ankle. As the reality of what had just happened set it, she had screamed at the top of her lungs for the only person she would turn to instinctively, Inuyasha. The one person who might save her from her own insanity, her only salvation left. With but a scream, she had lost consciousness under the pain of her own heart. She didn't want to remember what she had discovered anymore.

As she ran from the hut, a pang of pain in her ankle caused her to fall again, and she yelped. Sango was by her side in a minute, closely followed by Miroku. They placed their hands on her shoulders in a small attempt to calm her down. Miroku looked into her worried gaze, "Kagome-sama! What happened?"

No, she didn't dare think about what had happened, but it was too late. As innocent a question as Miroku's, tears suddenly flooded her vision as her heart shattered just like the shards they had collected. Fighting through her blurred sight, she shook off from her friends and clambered to her feet again. As fast as she could, she started to run towards the well, to her home, to the family she loved. She managed a full ten feet before she reached the hill, and then fell again. This time her body started to tumble down the hill thanks to gravity. Somewhere between her fall to the uneven ground, she had given up fighting. Her desperation to leave this agony behind assailed her all the way to her twisted ankle, and she gladly accepted the fall into oblivion, any fall that could bring her closer to home. For a moment she actually considered that if the pain didn't kill her, then maybe rolling down the ravine would. The panic raced down her spine thereby causing a kind of temporary paralysis anyway. She couldn't move even if she wanted to.

But she was stopped. After only a few seconds, her descent was cut short as she ran into something. Her nose rested on the grass as two arms wrapped around her shoulders and long hair tickled the back of her neck. The touch sent her feelings to someplace completely different, almost opposite. With one eye, she glanced up at the hanyou, Inuyasha. He looked at her with such concern as she had never seen before. His amber eyes glowed against the paleness of his own skin, reflecting the sad beauty that surrounded him. Even without a youkai's senses she could feel the odd slowness in his breath. He had come back for her, he had kept her from falling. Now, Inuyasha was the only one she trusted to feel her pain and soothe it. As she glanced up to see Inuyasha hovering over her with the same panic and sorrow written on his face, a new wave of emotions consumed her, and she reached for him.

Kagome did not manage to make it to her knees, but her arms wrapped around Inuyasha's waist and held on for dear life, silently asking him, begging him to take her away from this world. Asking him to shield her from her own heartbreak. Even asking him to slay her so that she could bleed in peace. The earthly scent of his clothes gave way to more deep breathing, and she sobbed into him.

His hands grasped her clothes to ring out her memory, to purify her as if he somehow could. As well as he could manage, he managed to pull her into his arms bridal style and flush up against him. The action caused her positioning to rise as her embrace met his upper chest across his heart. He kept her head securely under his chin as he lifted her off the ground. They didn't go too far, only the place where they had been the night before, next to the large boulder. It was his assumption that the familiarity would somehow calm her, that she would recall his rare moment of affection the night before.

The hanyou sat with his miko lying between his legs and clutched her to him. The others approached, but with one dirty look, they took the hint to leave them alone. Shippou was a little late on the ball until a deep growl told him to stay away. Inuyasha's gaze followed after them until they were out of sight. He returned his focus to a hysterical Kagome, and for the first time realized he had no idea how he was supposed to stop her from crying, "Oi, Kagome. Stop that crying!"

She couldn't even understand his words, but the fact that he was speaking to her meant more than she could say. It felt like she wasn't alone in this. He would save her, he always did. "Take me to the well, Inuyasha," she sobbed, "I have to go through it. Please take me there."

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, "Kagome…"

"Take me to them, Inuyasha. Please, I need you to help me!"

Her words caused him to shiver. She needed him… she needed him and he was the reason why she was hurting right now. Because of his carelessness, because of his selfishness, he had caused the one he loved to feel the same if not greater pain he felt when he lost his own mother. Try as he might not to be gentle, not to be compassionate, his heart called out to her, beckoned him to dry her tears and make her smile for him once more. His voice was barely a whisper, "I can't."

"Please, Inuyasha! Please! Please!" she pleaded as she hugged him closer.

He had to save her from this pain. It was eating her alive, but what could he say? Inuyasha layed his cheek on top of her head, "I tried, Kagome. I can't get through. We can't go back."

"No!"

She tensed against him, but he refused to give up. With one hand, he cradled her head as a new outburst of tears drowned him in a sea of guilt. Her grip was now so weak, she fell down slightly and he gripped her tighter. "No! You're wrong! You're wrong! You're…"

A desperate hand reached her cheek, brushing away the trails of sadness. A whimper escaped her lips and his fingers brushed over her skin. So feather light on her skin, it was like he thought she was made of glass. Perhaps she was now. For a moment, her hysterics disappeared as his soul mourned for her loss. She could feel it in his embrace, he was crying for her. Her pain, horrible but beautiful as he cooed her, finally reached the eye of the storm. All became quiet in her mind and body and his breath blew through her hair and caressed her ears.

Her tired eyes gazed out on the valley, and the hill that she would have tumbled down into, had Inuyasha not shown up. A part of her wished to run from him just to fall down again, never to get up, never to be saved. Once the storm came back to her, she squeezed her eyes shut and buried herself into his clothing. This pseudo-death to the rest of her family and friends made her feel a ghost, cursed to wander this place forever. There was nothing else she quite desired in that moment than to be free of this afterlife. In the cold world that would become her new hell, there was one who would save her from ending her misery. The one with a red haori and puppy ears who kept her from ending it all, who silently told her never to give up. It was he alone who persuaded her to hold fast to this cursed existence. Why… why not let her meet her own demise? "Why didn't you just let me fall?"

He didn't… couldn't let her fall, because despite his gruff attitude, he knew as did she, that he was her guardian angel. As long as he lived and even after, he always would be.

Inuyasha did not answer, but proceeded to take in deep even breaths, expelling them slowly and taking them in sharply. "Breathe, Kagome. Breathe with me."

He took in breaths loud enough for her to hear him, and she followed suit, inhaling as he did and exhaling as he did. His chest puffed outward as he did so in his own attempt to calm the girl. The rhythm of their breaths became slightly varied as she sobbed between them; as she forgot even to breathe again. "Don't stop, Kagome. You can do this, baka. Keep breathing."

Their brains made up the drumbeats in between their breaths, and it kept them on track. If anything, this process would help cleanse her mind, make her focus on only that task. There could be no time for crying in between. As her ear pressed against his chest, she found her breaths went in sync with the beat of his heart. Even his heart beat seemed louder than a normal person. Perhaps it was beating louder just for her to hear it. To know she had to keep on fighting. Using her sense of herself, she found her own heartbeat, and it too seemed to perfectly line up with his own. Their life force became one within her ear, intertwining into something safe and beautiful. The fabrics of their hearts knitted tightly together to ensure that the hold would never break. He became the net to break her fall. Her rope that held her in the air. The rock that wouldn't give way beneath her feet for any reason. Before she fell out of consciousness, she discovered her own answer to the question, "Because you'll always catch me, even if you don't know it."

It was two hours later as Inuyasha sat with her in his lap. His hold on her grew tiresome after a while, so he let her slid down to his hips again. Her body sat almost diagonally from his own, her head resting on his hip. One arm remained draped around his mid-section, even in slumber. His hands just reached far enough to hold her against him, as tightly as he wanted to. Yet he dared not clutch her to him. In the past few hours it had become clear to him that he didn't even deserve this. He did not deserve to touch her nor breathe the same air as her. In his mind, any remnant of the hanyou had left to be replaced by a heartless monster.

His cracked heart wasn't healing even as he ran a hand through her hair. It only proved to him that he was the biggest idiot of all time. His eyes glazed over as he stared at her, 'Damnit. This just isn't fair. It was supposed to be your choice, Kagome. That was what I wanted, never this… Never this…'

He lifted his head to the sky and closed his eyes. All of his clothes smelt of Kagome and her tears. The saltiness of her sobs were overwhelming to him and he sought out any other smell he could find to replace it. He gazed at the valley longingly like a little lost puppy. 'What am I to do, now? Could I even begin to replace her loved ones? Could I even bring them back to her?'

A part of him screamed to go to Saku, but even that option seemed impossible. The hanyou knew that even with his speed there was no way he was going to leave Kagome to track down the old miko. Kagome was already so vulnerable; he dared not leave her side for any period of time. Not to mention that his heart quaked when he thought of how he was to explain to Kagome why he was after an old miko two days away. Never would he consider bringing her along with him. If Kagome found out what he did… No, he couldn't go back to Saku. Not now, not ever. Somehow he would fix this. If it killed him, he would make it alright.

She whimpered in her sleep, and he knew she was having a nightmare. Her body was so tense it made him want to cry out, made him want to stab himself with Tetsusaiga for doing her so much wrong. As he looked back now, he could no longer understand why he did it. A simple voice from no where had beckoned him, yes, but he had followed for no reason. He seemed all too trusting that this was his rescue. With one hand, he began stroking her cheek. Immediately her body relaxed and Inuyasha was able to smile a little again. 'If I could make you happy, I would in a heartbeat. Somehow I…… I'll make you happy, Kagome. As long as I have breath in me, I'll make sure you forget your pain. You'll see… in time you'll forget you even had a family. You'll forget… like I did… when I lost…'

He squeezed his eyes shut as painful memories just started to break the surface of his calm. When he managed to hold them back, he gazed back at Kagome with comfort. If he could do it, so could she. She was strong. 'I can do this for her. I know I can… I have to.'

To be continued…

Kawaii-CherryWolf: Ooo, aren't you the smart one. Hmm, now how to I plan on catching you by surprise? (hugs)

Helikakileh: Yeah, I guess it was kinda obvious that that was gonna happen, but ya know. I'm glad you think so highly of me, haha. (hugs)

Kamira: Yes, why are all the pretty ones so dumb? Lol. (hugs)

EmeraldShine: Yes, yes he does. (sigh) Can't forget that. Yeah, it was Saku who did it because of Inuyasha's visit. (hugs)

Mental Mess: Glad you're willing to read even when you're tired……. Unless you're tired because of the chapter. Ooo, I hope not. (hugs)

Srg1: Thanks a lot. Wow, everyday! That's pretty awesome. During the school year, I tend to update on a daily basis, so you may be in luck once school starts. (hugs)

Inuyasha-kagome-forever99: Wow! Tears, even. I'm so glad you like this fic that much. Good thing I update fast, huh. (hugs)

Fanficluv7Inu: Mmmm, miso soup…. Wonder if that's okay for diets. I think I'll go find some. Man, now I'm hungry. (hugs)

a100rinchhead: Lol, that would be so hilarious. Hahahaha! You have quite an imagination there. (hugs)

Lacey Beans: Yeah, I know. Kinda obvious, not really all that original, but I'm gonna have so much fun with it. Hope you'll forgive. (hugs)