The Undecided of Earendil

By Larien

Chapter Two

Some history on Caniel:

She is the youngest child of Earendil, which makes her sister to Elrond and Elros. As of now, she is living life as a human, but with exceptional elf-like qualities. Therefore, one could count her among the Dûnedain, but in actuality, she only has yet to choose which life to lead. The story takes place in the Third Age 2980. In other words, Caniel is about 1980 years old, and Aragorn is 49 years old. As for Legolas' age, it is arguable since Tolkien never actually states when he was born. And to avoid controversy, we will just assume that Legolas is older than Caniel, but I will refrain from actually applying an age.

Again a response is most encouraged when you are through, and thanks for reading!

"Caniel? Ce maer?" The man behind her asked softly. (Are you well?)

Caniel exhaled slowly and turned to face her brother. She could not recall the last time she had felt this relieved seeing him, and a sheepish grin escaped her. "Han iston. Mas bennich?" (I think so. Where did you go?)

"I was attending to other matters," Elrond smiled and walked past her to pick up the book she had set down. "I see you've studied?"

"I see you haven't," She indicated his book tucked under his arm, the bookmark placed back a few chapters.

"I have read this book many a time," Elrond responded indifferently. He gestured to a chair where Caniel rested momentarily, watching her brother pace in front of her. He was not often one to sit down.

"What troubles you, muindor?" She asked softly. The solemn expression on his face was darker then he usually wore it, and the creases on his forehead pursed like fissures in the earth. (brother?)

"Nothing that will concern you for the time being. But you will know soon enough."

Caniel studied him a moment longer, disappointed at his answer but not really surprised by it either. It was part of Elrond's character; to provide short and vague answers to questions he, himself, hadn't solved yet. As much as he valued her opinion, Elrond found more solace brooding over most matters on his own and Caniel and learned at a young age that pestering him wouldn't get an answer any faster. The best thing to do was to wait, no matter how intrigued she was.

"Are we to continue, then, with our studies? I am so very excited to learn about the dwellings of torogath," Caniel said with blatant sarcasm. (Trolls)

"Fascinating as it is, we are having a visitor today who will take the place of you lesson," Elrond mocked her sarcasm before picking up a quill and etching some notes on a piece of parchment, his brow dipping even further and his mind clearly elsewhere.

Caniel had half a mind to read it over his shoulder, but instead she stood and meandered her way onto the balcony, which overlooked the entrance to Imladris. The whole of Rivendell was awake now, along with every tree, every flower, and every bird. Passive singing could be heard off in the distance carried by a soft breeze that tickled her face as she leaned against the rail. Down below she watched as familiar Elves passed back and forth, mingling amongst the buildings and exchanging quiet words. Farther down the road, Caniel spotted Aragorn as he emerged from a group of Elves, looking comically out of place and yet being welcomed as one of their own. He nodded to a passing female elf, and then was immediately distracted by another elf, whom he opened his arms for in greeting. This elf was different from the others and he rode up to Aragorn on a beautiful black stallion, catching the eye of all those he passed.

Caniel figured this was Legolas, whom Aragorn had spoken so highly of. She watched with mute interest as the elf slid off his horse and embraced Aragorn in a friendly hug. The horse was led away as the pair exchanged quiet conversation in elvish, and then quite suddenly Aragorn threw his head back with a laugh and ran off to fetch something. Caniel continued to watch as the elf scanned his surroundings, his silver outfit and golden hair glimmering in the sun; a sight almost blinding next to his pale skin. Caniel cocked her head and rested it on her hand. He looked quite young, despite the years of unspoken wisdom hidden amongst his features. Most elves carried this aura about them, but Legolas had something else that caught her attention...a certain quiet charm and playfulness...

Lost in her thoughts, Caniel was caught completely off-guard when the elf met her gaze. How careless of her to let her mind stray while staring pointedly at him! Immediately she averted her gaze to a building on her left, but when she sensed his eyes lingering she slowly began to lose focus on the bricks. Despite her earlier embarrassment she allowed her eyes to be pulled back to him. There they locked and a smile spread across Legolas' face. She smiled back, a sudden feeling of intoxication dictating her every move. The edge of mischievousness she caught twinkling in his eyes numbed her senses and erased her awareness of the world around her. They drew her in, bringing her down from atop the balcony and swallowing her instantaneously.

"Caniel! Our visitor has arrived."

Caniel spun around, snapped out of her trance by the approach of her brother. At his side stood a bearded old man wrapped in a gray cloak, his eyes shielded by the brim of a wizard's hat.

"Gandalf!" Caniel exclaimed, rushing to embrace the wizard who opened his arms to her. "Mae tolen! Guren linna le cened!" (Welcome! My heart sings to see you!)

Gandalf studied her face when she pulled away, his eyes twinkling with the joy of seeing her again. "Rhau gîn vain palan-híla, pen dithen." He smiled. "It's been far too long!" (You're beauty shines far, little one.)

"It has. What brings you to Rivendell?"

He cast a glance at Elrond, and when he received the approving nod, he lowered his voice and took Caniel's shoulders in his hands. "News, Caniel, from the Valar."

"The Valar?" She stuttered, her smile suddenly replaced with a frown of confusion. "News for me?"

"Come, there is much that needs to be explained."

Caniel and Elrond followed the wizard into the library where he planted himself in one of the few crafted chairs. Caniel took a seat opposite him and folded her legs uneasily, inhaling the scent of ancient parchment and moldy bindings. Elrond stood himself off in a corner where he could easily see her reaction, while still hearing everything the wizard had to say.

"The day has come," Gandalf began. "For many years we have toiled with it and only now, as the Valar's impatience reaches a peek, the time has indeed arrived. The decision is now on you, Caniel."

"Avo chenion," Caniel said, looking in concern at the men around her. Gandalf pulled his out his pipe and lit up, taking a very deliberate inhale. He was silent for a minute as puffs of smoke escaped from the sides of his mouth, and then he paced to the window where he continued to smoke in silence. Caniel fidgeted. "Gandalf?" (I don't understand.)

When he turned to look at her his eyes were full of compassion. "My dear Caniel. Do you remember how we met?"

She smiled. "I have not heard this tale told in a long while, though my memory holds it fresh as if it were only yesterday. We came to Middle Earth together from the West. The Valar had sent you along with four other Istari. My parents had placed me under your care en route to Rivendell so that I my join with my brothers and grow up in the world they knew to be so beautiful."

"Indeed," Gandalf exhaled more smoke and carefully removed his hat, his knobby fingers running over the frayed edges carefully. "That was roughly around the year 1000. And while they did send you to reunite with your brothers, there was more reason for them sending you back. You see the Valar function under a careful set of laws, one of which states that no man is to walk the lands. Your father was the first and only exception to that rule."

"And he was lucky that his cause was noble and his intentions fair," Elrond added from his spot in the shadows. Caniel was taken aback by the great sadness she now saw etched all over his face, but she wasn't given a moment to question it before Gandalf had picked up the story.

"Lucky doesn't even begin to credit his fortune. But he was spared, as was your mother, and henceforth allowed to dwell in the lands of the West, but never again to return to Middle Earth to seek out their sons."

Caniel turned her attention back to Gandalf, letting her eyes linger a second longer on Elrond, hoping to grasp the meaning behind his expression. "And what does this have to do with me, wise one?"

"Many years later you were conceived, without prior blessings of the Valar. Being a half-blood you were born as a human, one that did not have the Valar's graces to set foot upon their lands."

"But I was only a child!"

Gandalf shook his head ruefully. "But a human nonetheless. In fear of the wrath wrought by the Valar, your parents placed you on the ship that was to sail to Middle Earth with the five Istari. It is there I found you and promised I would see you reunited with your brothers, should they still live."

"Anirach eas?" Elrond asked, finally emerging from his shadow. "You were to be raised by us here in Middle Earth. Learning not only the ways of the elves, but also the common knowledge. Elros was to educate you in the ways of humans so that when this time came, you would be able to make your decision." (Do you understand?)

"I do understand," Caniel said slowly, averting her gaze to the floor where she seemed to stare beyond the painted tiles. The realization of who she was, and what she was meant to do cluttered her mind with a frenzy of possibilities. A ton of led dropped on her shoulders should not have felt heavier then the weight she felt now. After a moment's silence, during which she felt as though her mind might explode, Caniel looked up and asked tightly, "What lies upon my decision that this should be such a concern to the two of you?"

Elrond and Gandalf exchanged silent looks, and then Gandalf heaved a sigh and took a step towards Caniel.

"You're abilities Caniel, being a half-blood, enable you as a human to have exceptional elf-like qualities. Your sight, hearing, life span, and physical abilities are beyond the normal man. But if you were to choose the life of a human, the consequences could result in you loosing much of that ability. Whereas choosing the life of an elf could only enhance those abilities."

"Could..." Caniel mumbled, not meeting the eyes of the wizard. "Does that mean it is not certain?"

"Nothing is certain," Elrond sighed, folding his arms across his chest.

"There is yet more to be explained," Gandalf continued. "In choosing the life of a human, you'd spend the rest of your days, which would become numbered, in Middle Earth, never to return to the West."

"That is not such a horrible fate. Middle Earth is all I've ever known."

"No. No, it is not a horrible fate. You're right." Gandalf smiled. The wrinkles deepened around his wise eyes, which searched for Caniel's as he knelt down to face her. His hands clasped hers gently.

"And if I were to choose the life of an elf?"

"Then there is a chance of you being able to return to the West with me, when our time comes, to meet our parents," Elrond replied.

"A chance?" Caniel wailed looking to her brother. "Was it this uncertain when you were to choose?"

"No. But I was not born in the West."

"You see Caniel, I don't know if the Valar will allow you to return. After all, as a newborn, you broke one of their most cherished laws." Gandalf clarified.

"But I had no control over that," She said quietly. "And I would be elf if I were to return. Surely the Valar are forgiving?"

The pain in her eyes was so profound that Gandalf could no longer bear to look at her. He stood and placed an absent hand on her shoulder.

"Of course they are. That is why we are not to make any rash assumptions just yet."

"But you must realize the consequences of your decision, should they turn against us," Elrond said pointedly. "Should you choose elf, and then be rejected from the Undying Lands, you will be faced with eternity here among men. Once the elves have all gone, only you will remain."

"It is a lonely fate indeed," Caniel stood up, and absently straightened her dress. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to cry, but she blinked back the tears and clenched her jaw, looking away from the mess in front of her to the trees outside. "The decision seems already decided. Though losing my Elven traits would be a great loss, the life as a human faces a lesser sentence in the long run."

"Nothing is decided. Not yet," Gandalf said, leaning back on a desk and once again inserting the pipe back into his mouth.

Caniel nodded numbly and began walking towards the stairs, where she disappeared without another word.

"Im prestannen oshon," Elrond said quietly, collapsing into a chair rubbing his forehead wearily. (I'm worried about her.)

Gandalf couldn't agree more and silently wished that he could change the fate of such an innocent child. He felt a heavy guilt accumulate in the pit of his stomach as he watched the human girl, whom he counted among his own, cross the yard and dissolve amongst the trees. "We knew this time would come, and it would not be easy."

"What if she does not make the right decision? What if the Valar reject her? I cannot bear to leave my own sister behind. If only I could sway her decision…or better, the Valars."

"There is little we can do right now," Gandalf looked to the wise elf whose posture sagged as he buried his face in his hands. "Avo 'osto had, Elrond. She will be all right." (Don't be afraid, Elrond.)