Okay, so lack of fluff in this one. But a lot of stuff that needs to be said. Grr, I miss the fluff. But next chapter…

Chapter 19: Letting Go, Holding On

"And why the hell did you let her get involved, dog-shit!" the wolf bellowed.

"Keh! I didn't ask her to, baka! I was beneath a damned claw! I couldn't fucking move," the hanyou countered.

Kagome stepped in, "Kouga-kun, really, it's okay. I chose to step in. It's entirely my fault."

"If dog-shit had been more careful, you wouldn't have had to get involved!" Kouga said to her, though his angry gaze never left Inuyasha.

Inuyasha sneered. It was bad enough that he himself felt responsible for Kagome's wound, but now this good-for-nothing wolf was showing Kagome that that was exactly what it was. Kouga continued, "You don't deserve to have the pleasure of her company!"

He turned to Kagome and took her hands in his own, caressing her wrist with his thumbs. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you, Kagome. I swear I'll kill dog-shit the next time he messes up."

Kagome gave a half-hearted smile. How she had tried not to seem ungrateful for his kindness, no matter how uncomfortable she felt. "I-is that supposed to make me feel better about this?"

Inuyasha leapt for them, landing in between. Kagome took a step back from them as both of her boys growled at each other. Inuyasha snarled, "Back off, wimpy wolf. Like you could do any better."

If he didn't deserve her company, than this wimp didn't deserve to breathe the same air as Kagome. He held one hand behind him, signaling to Kagome to keep a distance. Kouga proclaimed, "I know I could do better. Once Kagome goes with me, I'll make sure nothing ever happens to her. And that's a promise."

"Keh, the word of a filthy wolf," he remarked sarcastically, a cocky manner in his eye, "That's something special, all right."

She rolled her eyes, and took a few moments to calm herself before she spoke up over their growls. "Inuyasha, I'd like to speak to Kouga-kun alone."

The hanyou flung himself around to gaze at her dumbfounded. His ears twitched twice, and his irises seemed to get slightly smaller, hidden beneath the bright white of his corneas. "NANI?"

"Just for a minute, Inuyasha," she explained, and began walking towards Kouga.

But Inuyasha held her back with his arm, and kept his gaze locked on Kouga, "Like hell I will. No way I'm letting you alone with this stinking wolf. Who knows what he might try."

Kouga smirked, enjoying every minute of Inuyasha's squirming. Kagome ducked under his arm and came up on the other side, continuing for the wolf-youkai. "Kouga-kun, could I speak to you on the other side of the hill please?"

"Certainly, Kagome. Anything for you." Kouga remarked, nearly laughing at Inuyasha's horrified look.

Without another glance, Kagome led Kouga down the other side of the hill. With a few chants of her 'special word', Inuyasha eventually stayed behind, but promised he would come after them to kill the wimpy wolf if they didn't come back in less than two minutes. He sat cross-legged with his hands tucked into his sleeves, and he glared hard at the horizon.

Kagome glanced over her shoulder as she sat down in front of Kouga, making absolutely sure that there were far enough away that the hanyou wouldn't hear their conversation. "Kagome, what did you want to talk to me about? Have you finally decided to come with me?"

She sighed, turning back to him. Her apologetic gaze told him up front that something was not right. Something he didn't want to admit. She spoke, "I'm sorry, Kouga-kun. I can't come with you… not now, not ever."

He held his head high, positive that he hadn't lost the battle. "Don't be ridiculous. What could dog-shit possibly do for you? He has nothing. And rumor has it he's still hung up on that Kikyo girl, after all."

Kagome heaved a sigh. "I know."

"Then come with me, Kagome. You know I could make you happy." Kouga looked at her pleadingly.

She smiled sadly, "Kouga-kun, the one thing that makes me happy… is being with Inuyasha. You have to understand that I can never leave him."

Her eyes sparkled with the truth that lay buried within her heart, and it cut Kouga deep. The leader of the youkai pack was not one to take rejection easily, but those eyes of hers seemed unbreakable, unshakable. Like they were the steady hold of the earth. He looked into them, still not willing to let go, but feeling like she was slipping from him. "Do you love him?"

Kagome looked away from the wolf-demon. She didn't want to be harsh with him. Kouga had always been a loyal friend, and had protected her whenever he could, just like Inuyasha. A blush rose to her cheeks and she slowly nodded, "I do."

She heard him sigh and turned around to see him stand up. When she looked up at his face, which she had expected to be furious, she was delightfully surprised at how well he seemed to be taking it. Looking away from her, he held out his hand. She accepted it, and he helped her to her feet. His hand didn't leave hers as he looked into her eyes. As he looked back at her, he saw her in a light that he hadn't before. She was no longer a shard detector, or a scantily clad dresser, or his woman. For the first time, Kagome was just his friend, probably the best he had ever had. A surprise to her as well as himself, he was satisfied.

"I have something that belongs to you," he said.

"What?" Kagome asked.

He bent over, and Kagome watched in shock as his hands removed the two shikon shards from his legs. "Kouga-kun?"

He stood erect again and took a hold of her hand. He placed the two fragments in one palm and closed the other one on top of it, all the while keeping his hands around her own. "I have no need for these anymore. From now on, I run on my own strength. I want you to take them, so that you can always remember me."

"Kouga-kun, are you sure?"

He smiled, "You can't tell me that you wouldn't want them. I know dog-shit would be thrilled. Though I suppose he would have wanted to get them the hard way."

She giggled, "Probably."

The rejected wolf-youkai took her into an embrace and squeezed her tight. "You take care of yourself, you hear?"

She nodded against him as he continued, "And if that baka gives you any trouble, I'll set him straight. He doesn't know how lucky he is. If you can't make him see that, then I will. You'll always have a friend in me, Kagome. Remember that. And if you ever need any help, I'll always be near."

"Same here, Kouga-kun."

"Bastard! Get the hell away from her!"

Their embrace broke as they looked up to see Inuyasha running down the hill, Tetsusaiga brandished high. They looked at each other once more and smiled. He stepped away from her and gave her one last wave. He then took off running in the opposite direction, but not before throwing one last remark over his shoulder. "Dog-shit, you'd better take care of her!"

Inuyasha entered seconds later, and released the tension in his arms by swinging the sword once into the ground, "Temee! I'll kill you the next time you make a move like that!"

"Inuyasha?" she said softly.

"And don't think I'll ever let you alone with her again! I'll be damned if I ever…"

"Inuyasha."

"…EVER let you take advantage of her, you filthy wolf. Now come back here and face me, you coward!"

"Inuyasha!"

Her yell caught his attention, and he turned to her with his fist clenched menacingly, "What?"

She approached him and held onto his haori with one hand. She held out the other, and opened her palm to reveal the two shikon shards. They glimmered in the light, and his face fell back. "What the hell? Are those… did he…?"

"Yes, so you have no need to pick a fight with him. I doubt he'll be coming back."

As she began walking away, Inuyasha glared at the trail of dust the youkai had left behind when he ran. Even without the shards, that wolf could run fast. Growling once more at the youkai in the distance, he re-sheathed his sword and went after Kagome. "Why did he give them to you?"

Her face blushed slightly. How grateful she was that he didn't overhear her confession of love. But he saw her blush, and new rage consumed him, "Just what did you give him that he would give up the shards?"

"Nothing." She replied, feeling more uneasy by the second.

He jumped in front of her and growled, "Don't lie to me, Kagome. Did you actually kiss that bastard?"

"What? No!"

"Then what the fuck did you do? What did you let that bastard do to you during those two minutes I was gone?" He snarled, and cracked his knuckles.

"Osuwari!"

"Agh!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Inuyasha! When I say nothing happened, I mean nothing happened!"

"Wench!" He yelled as he jumped up.

"Baka!" She threw over her shoulder.

He grimaced hard, but forced his arms and claws to relax. "Since the others aren't around, you get to go find some food for us to eat. Don't take too long, she called as she pulled back the bead curtain to the little house.

"Keh," he crossed his arms, "What am I, your servant?"

"Unless you want your shard detector to keel over and starve, you'll do as she says."

He growled. 'I have to get her to stop saying that. Baka.'

He turned and broke into a sprint, still calling out to her, "You better not run off, wench!"

Kagome heard him call as he disappeared into the forest. She sighed and shook her head. Sometimes she really wondered if Inuyasha would ever just grow up. But she cocked her eyebrow when she registered that Inuyasha had taken off towards the south. The best hunting grounds she knew to be in the northwest. Inuyasha always went in that direction to gather food. As she looked out of the window towards the northeast, the familiar sense of longing took hold of her again. She too had no desire to ever go that way any time soon. The pain, the memories were still far too near.

"The well," she whispered to herself, "I don't think I'll even be able to be around it."

She began cutting vegetables with her knife, 'Is that why Inuyasha doesn't go there anymore? Cause he knows it is a painful place for me? Then again, he has no reason to worry about the well closing.'

Her thoughts were interrupted as a strange cold took hold of her. She had felt it before, the white paleness that had a life of its own, pouring itself into the hut and suffocating her. She shut her eyes against it, willing it to leave her in peace. Such a reminder was something she couldn't take right now. She called out to the emptiness of the air, "Inuyasha's not here. He's gone out to find food. He shouldn't be back for about another ten minutes."

Still, their auras persisted, and it wasn't long until their forms entered the house through the windows. Their mournful hiss told her of the countless lives they had carried between their tiny appendages. She looked at them and felt her own blood freeze over under the aura of pain that surrounded them. "Soul collectors, what do you want of me?"

Their beady eyes pierced into her soul, and they started making their way out of the door, one of them taking the time to circle around Kagome for a moment. "What? She wants to see me?"

She hesitated for one moment, considering that if she felt, she might never return. The miko might be waiting just behind a tree to steal the rest of her soul. Still, Kagome followed into the outside world, but she didn't go far. Already sitting on the tree by the edge of the clearing, her presence made the girl from the future feel more and more unwanted by the second. She approached, halting as the dead miko descended from the tree, and stood on common ground with her.

As Kikyo rose up to meet Kagome's eyeline, her lifeless eyes showed not anger nor fear. It was one of the most frightening aspects of the miko, to not know what she was feeling. Though, she had seen her eyes change before, quite a few times, but it had always been the same look… that of sadness. Her existence was to feel nothing, and if not to feel nothing than to feel anguish. Kagome pitied her. That someone should be cursed to wander the world without any joy was no doubt the most retched of fates.

It was Kikyo who spoke first, "You are still here."

Kagome glanced to the ground, all of a sudden feeling guilty. "I… can't go back. The well is sealed. I don't know why, but it can't be fixed."

Her cold eyes narrowed, "And what do you plan to do now?"

"I don't kn-."

"What of Inuyasha?"

The mention of the name caused her to lift her head again. The miko didn't look pleased, didn't look like anything, but the sound of her voice spoke everything. "I… I…"

Kikyo looked away, "I cannot stay long. I merely want to remind you of what you are. His life belongs to me, not you. I will not relinquish that right."

Kagome looked away from the miko, "What do you want me to do? He doesn't want me. I can only stay here and do what I can to make him happy. I have nowhere else to go. I can't go back."

The wind blew through the trees, and Kikyo looked up at the downhearted Kagome. Her eyes inspected her reincarnation, in earnest to find the answers to her questions. Her eyes became smaller and smaller as they focused in, but came back with nothing. She looked away, unable to see Kagome's eyes as they tried to lock with her own. She loathed Kagome, despised her every atom. Those eyes possessed all the happiness she had once had. The joy that had been snatched away from her by a cruel trick. With those brown orbs, she was mocking Kikyo. She laughed at her power to control that which she cherished most. But no… she could not give in. Never would she let Kagome conquer her.

She turned her back on her reincarnation and faced the trees, allowing the fresh air to run through her. It was the only feeling of life she had left to enjoy. "You'd do well to mind your place, Kagome. There is no place for you here. You say you want Inuyasha to be happy, and he will be, so long as you let him. I know you know this."

Kagome's face fell back, as if the truth had struck her like lightning. The words of her competition shouldn't have mattered to her, and yet they fed on her. "I never want to rob him of his happiness. I… I won't stand in the way."

Satisfied, Kikyo vanished into the woods, not even looking back. Kagome sighed, staring into the darkness of the woods, the mystery of it all. Amazing how only a minute of talking could leave her so sad. 'Inuyasha… I just want you to be happy. So, why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I just let you go and be rid of you?'

He called from the hut, "Kagome! What are you doing over there? I told you not to leave."

His words, innocent as they were, struck a sharp chord. No, she wouldn't leave, couldn't leave him. Somehow… it had to be enough. If he was happy, that's all she needed. In mere moments, he stood in front of her, eyeing her curiously, "What's wrong?"

His question brought her out of her trance, and she looked to him with big eyes. No, why was she still harboring hope that she could be with him? It wasn't fair. She turned away from him and headed back towards the hut, "It's nothing."

"Huh?"

He watched her go away, and then looked around to see what could be the cause of her distress. He could see nothing, hear nothing. He followed her before the scent of Kikyo could even reach his nose.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

'You could have killed her. With one arrow, all your problems would have been solved.'

As she walked through the woods, this thought stayed with her, mocked her weakness. In truth, she didn't know the answer to why she hadn't killed Kagome right then and there. She grimaced in her thoughts, "I could have. I loathe her. She has already taken so much from me, I don't know if I could even get it back. My soul…"

She put her hand to her heart, "… gets weaker by the day. What is it telling me? That I should give up? How can I possibly accept that?"

Kikyo sighed sadly and looked to the sky, 'Inuyasha… I'm so lost. What place is there for me here, if not with you? What is my purpose?'

Blah, blah, blah… setting up the plot… I need more fun stuff. Okay, next chapter, something cool. Teehee, can't wait! BTW, I don't like Kouga, so it's a big achievement for me to write nice about him. Be thankful. Haha!

Grrrr, not many responses! Come on, people. Don't leave me! (cries)

Helikakileh: Yeah, he's kinda supposed to be like a bad Inuyasha. I like the bad-ass Inuyasha. Haha, I'm gonna have so much fun with him. (hugs)

Random Reader: Eww. Oh well, I understand. She can get on my nerves sometimes, too. But I love making my own characters. What a challenge! (hugs)

Fanficluv4Inu: Haha! No, I didn't. I love miso soup too. Grrr, I miss it so. (hugs)

nekoxlove: I'm changing the scene between chapters there because the disappearing thing is still going to remain a mystery for a while, and I ain't gonna dwell on it just yet. The beginning of the last chapter was a completely new concept. And no, it wasn't Kokuei. (hugs)

kawaiibritt: (squeals) Yeah, I'm so excited. Can't wait to have them fight. Ooh, it's almost too much not to write all night so I can just get it down. (hugs)

srg1: Yeah, plot twists. I love them. And yeah, this has a lot to do with being selfish, so it's great that you're getting that. (hugs)

joyfulsoul: (sigh) I wish I were Kagome. (hugs)

mooximxaxwhale: Silly moose? Oh my! That is a new one, I must say. Haha! (hugs)