The Undecided of Earendil

By: Larien

Chapter 7

Oliverlover- Thanks for the message; I'm so glad you enjoy the story. I'm also glad the personality of Legolas is likeable for you, and in this chapter, we see a little more conflict with his character as well. Thanks again!

Legolaslover77- Thanks again for the review, as long as you are enjoying it, I will continue writing it.

Kim- Thanks for the review, and I promise things will pick up. I'll throw in the first twist this chapter, and the next one will have more. Let me know of future thoughts!

A/N- Thank you to all who responded to the last chapter. It meant the world to me and for that I continue writing. For those who are waiting, I promise this chapter picks up. I took a week to think out the story and I've come up with what I hope will be a satisfying plot. And it is in this chapter that the first couple of twists will be thrown in. So, thanks again and please continue the messages, even if you just tell me you've been reading. That's all I need to know. Although suggestions, comments, and all the above are encouraged as well. So, with no more gilding of the lily, I present chapter 7. Enjoy!

During dinner, the group ate their meal quickly. Their laughs echoed throughout the night as they exchanged quiet tellings and jokes. Come dessert, Caniel was sure she had yet to eat this much in her life. Leaving a conversation with Glorfindel, who sat across from her, (Legolas on her right, Arwen on her left and Aragorn across from Arwen. The twins were on either side of Legolas and Glorfindel.) she joined Arwen in the kitchen to bring out the delicately served bowels of dessert. But when she found her niece in the kitchen, she was surprised at what she saw.

"Into mischief again are we?" Caniel mocked as she sidled up next to Arwen who was quickly pouring in a mixture into two of the bowels. "My aren't we in trouble."

"These are going to my brothers." She said quietly, not taking heed to Caniel's presence. The liquid appeared clear and thick as she stirred it in with a chocolate sauce that had already been placed on the other deserts.

"And what, forgive me for asking, are you doing?" Caniel laughed.

"It's a wine, a really strong wine." Arwen turned to the girl. "My father once had it for dinner and they both broke out into the worse case of hiccups." She stifled a giggle as she turned to pour it. "I'm curious if that will happen again."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Then it's a good thing I'm not a cat."

Caniel smiled, then picked up the other trays and walked with Arwen back to the table. There they presented the desserts to the anxiously awaiting men who started eating without hesitation. With a brief look at Arwen, who only smiled, Caniel sat and began eating hers slowly.

"These are excellent." Glorfindel remarked. "The best I've ever tasted!"

"I'm glad you like them." Arwen nodded. "I add a secret ingredient…"

Caniel took to her napkin to hide her smile, and Legolas looked at her curiously.

"Do you choke?"

Caniel only shook her head silently before taking to her dessert. Aragorn watched her questioningly before looking to Legolas who only shrugged. In the back of his mind, a voice told him something was up. But despite the warning, he let the matter go and eyeing both the women one last time, he sighed and continued on with his dessert, though this time rather hesitantly.

Arwen watched out of the corner of her eye as Aragorn picked carefully through his dessert, to which he had suddenly become suspicious of. It made her smile inside knowing that she had already made him paranoid. Just then, a loud hiccup echoed through the group from the end of the table.

"Excuse me!" Said Elladon, rather embarrassed.

Elrohir let out a laugh at his brother, who wiped his chin with his napkin. But as he laughed, he too let out a hiccup. Slamming is hand over his mouth, he looked in wide-eyed innocence at the others.

"At least I'm not alone. " Elladon finished this statement with another hiccup.

Arwen snorted into her spoon as the hiccups commenced, and after a few minutes, Caniel was shaking in her chair, trying to control her laughter. Aragorn, Legolas, and Glorfindel watched with befuddled amusement as the twins hiccupped more loudly each time. And following each hiccup, Arwen turned giggles into coughs and Caniel buried her face in her napkin. Eventually, the hiccups were nonstop and Caniel and Arwen had completely lost control, the tears streaming, as they laughed heartedly at the situation.

"Well, I find it amusing, but I didn't know it was that funny." Legolas commented to Aragorn. This caused Caniel to snort with laughter even more.

"I know what you mean, Legolas." He replied, watching with mild amusement as the elf pat Caniel lightly on the back as she choked on her laughter. Arwen next to him, had laid her head on the table, buried in her folder arms, and was shaking as the laughing ensued.

"Th-is-is-nt-fun-ny!" Elrohir tried to say in a series of hiccups.

At last, Aragorn laughed slightly at the pathetic look of the elven brothers. Legolas and Glorfindel as well, both held quiet smiles.

"I actually feel rather sorry for the poor boys." Glorfindel said after a moment. "I wonder what caused it so suddenly?"

He looked at Legolas who nodded to Aragorn. They all figured it had been the girls. But by the confused looks on the twin's faces, they had not yet figured it out.

"Arwen? Do you know what could've happened?" Legolas asked.

"Of course not!" Arwen smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Why would I know?"

"Because perhaps you did it?" Aragorn hinted smugly.

"Outrageous." Arwen said half-heartedly. She knew they all knew anyway, but that didn't mean she would admit to it any sooner. She looked to Caniel whose face was red with laughter and then to her brothers, who were both sipping water trying to calm the wild hiccups. Indeed it was a joke well played, she thought.

After dinner the group had settled into Arwen's living quarters around a nice fire where the stories and laughter continued. The twins eventually got their hiccups under control and by the time the sun had set and they had finished their tea, the group said their farewells for the night and dispersed.

While he was making his way out, Legolas spotted Caniel walking in the same direction he would take to get to his house. Trotting, he caught up with her and slowed to walk beside her. In the moonlight, her delicate features stood etched and slim, and he couldn't help but admire her beauty.

"Do you really think you can walk away from that party without any reprimanding?" Legolas asked as he approached her. "Aragorn is more forgiving then I."

"Whatever do you mean?" Caniel smiled, looking to the elf.

"I mean, I have yet to hear what you and Arwen put into those desserts that caused such mass havoc during dinner."

"Oh that." Caniel shrugged. "It was all her doing, I just happen to walk in on her putting it in. From what I could tell, she just mixed a very strong wine with the chocolate. Apparently they had drank it once before and the same thing happened."

"Fortunately you weren't around to laugh." Legolas stated.

"It was all in good fun." Caniel said defensively. "Besides, I saw you cover a laugh or two."

"I don't think so."

Legolas smiled down at her as they rounded a corner. He watched as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears; her human ears. He was baffled how such a human half-blood could still carry such an elf look to her. He had only seen a small handful of undecided half bloods in his time and there were few who could've passed as being elves (Arwen being one). And those were half bloods that were more elf then human too. Perhaps it was she was raised by the elves? Or perhaps she was just a beautiful human too. Either way, watching her delicate movements made him wonder what would change, if anything, if she were to choose elf. He didn't think it would be possible for her to get more beautiful. So then should she choose human, would she loose that beauty? It would be a shame, he thought, should it happen that way…

Caniel noticed the awkward silence and tried to think of something to say.

"Are you here for long, Legolas? I know you do no live here, so then how long is your stay?"

"As long as I wish." Legolas said. "The real reason I came was to visit Aragorn, for it has been long since I've seen him. And my feet grew weary just staying at my homeland so I left. Just to get out."

Caniel nodded. "I wish I could just leave."

"Can't you?"

"No." Caniel shook her head. "I've-"

Her sentence fell short as she suddenly became light headed and fell against the nearest wall. In a single instant a vision had engulfed her; screaming. Horrible screaming and clawing of a girl. She was struggling and screaming for help in the elvish language. From what she needed help was not clear. The vision simply showed her, eventually emerging clear as Sírdhem, struggling with great effort and screaming with all her being as large hands took hold of her fragile arms.

Legolas grabbed Caniel's arm as she fell against the wall.

"Caniel? Caniel!"

Wrapping his other arm around her waist to keep her up, he brought her quietly over to a bench where they sat. Her hand was pressed against her forehead and her eyes were shut, but she mumbled in elvish and remained conscious as he held her in a sitting position.

"Caniel, can you hear me?" Legolas asked softly, trying to understand what it was she mumbled. "Caniel, im Legolas. Lasto beth nín, tolo dan nad calad." (Caniel, my name is Legolas, Listen to my voice, come back to the light.)

At this her mumbling stopped and her eyes slowly fluttered open. Legolas took her hand and kept his other hand supporting her back. Her breathing was hard as she took a moment to remember where she was, and with a look to Legolas, her memory refilled with the events of the night.

"Are you all right?" Legolas asked softly.

"Sírdhem…" Was all that she whispered with wide eyes.

"What?"

Caniel suddenly stood up. "Sírdhem! I must go to her!" Without a second thought and with a brief glance for which way to go, Caniel took off down the steps and started off, in what she hoped to be, the direction of the girl's home.

"Caniel wait!" Legolas called bounding after her. He had no worry of catching her, for he was light on his feet and with a quick leap over the balcony and a few quick strides he caught pace with her. "Caniel relax, it was just a vision."

He grabbed her arm causing her to slow.

She glared at him. "Someone is hurt, I need to go to her."

With that she took her arm away and continued her sprint. Legolas didn't hesitate to follow even though he had no idea where they were going. From what he could tell they were headed to the deepest part of Rivendell where he knew very few elves. It was darker here, and the streets were less clear as he ducked the branches she threw out of the way, and leapt over the stone piles that littered their crossing. At last they arrived to a house that sat silent and dark atop a hill. He stopped for a minute to look at it, but was soon to follow Caniel who bounding up the steps. The building seemed abandoned; no lights, no sound, and everything seemed untouched. Legolas stopped behind her as she knocked feverishly on the door.

"Caniel," Legolas sighed as she studied the door.

"Sírdhem? Sírdhem, it's Caniel! Are you all right? Can we come in?" Caniel listened but of course heard no reply. As she went to open the door anyway, she noticed the handle sat a little crooked on its hinges. Her first thought was of a break in, but then she recalled never actually seeing the handle before, as Arwen had been the one to open it. Pushing it to the back of her mind, she quietly opened the door and made her way in.

"Sírdhem?" Caniel continued to call quietly.

Legolas followed her wearily. "Caniel are you sure we should invite ourselves in like this?"

Caniel nodded. "I know her…sort of." She added.

Legolas hesitated only a moment. "That's reassuring."

Caniel glanced over her shoulder, meeting his gaze with a sly smile before continuing towards the room where she had last seen the silent girl. Emerging into the dimly lit corridors, she was relieved and slightly wary when she saw Sírdhem sitting in her same chair with a book propped slightly open on her lap. It was not a book Caniel recognized and she made a quick scan of the room, looking for anything that would seem out of place. But there was nothing.

"Nothing." Legolas sighed, also scanning the room then letting his eyes rest on the girl. "Who is this?"

"Sírdhem, it's me Caniel. Do you remember? I was here earlier." Caniel asked softly taking a step forward, studying her dry features carefully. Nothing about her seemed aroused, her hair was naturally tangled and her eyes wide, but that was nothing new. Caniel suddenly realized how rude she actually had been to just walk in.

"I'm sorry for coming in on you like this. " She said, kneeling in front of her. "But I had a dream, a vision that something had happened to you. I wanted to make sure that you were all right."

Sírdhem studied her for a second before looking up at Legolas who still stood awkwardly behind Caniel. Caniel looked behind her and smiled to the elf, whose eyes were locked on Sírdhem, with a look that was similar to the one Caniel had worn earlier that day. "I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce my companion. Sírdhem this is Legolas from Mirkwood. He's visiting his friend Aragorn, of whom you know."

Sírdhem's eyes fluttered once again to Caniel at the mention of Aragorn's name. Caniel was pleased that at least she seemed to understand what was being said.

"A pleasure to meet you Sírdhem." Legolas said softly bowing slightly.

To no surprise, except for that of Legolas, the girl said nothing only starred.

"So, is everything okay? Nothing is bothering you or has bothered you?" Caniel asked quietly, figuring she would explain the matter to Legolas later.

The girl just continued to look on quietly and then after a moment of studying the two visitors, she simply returned to her book in her lap. Caniel sighed and stood up, taking a second more to look over everything. Nothing, absolutely nothing had been moved. The candles had burnt still, letting the wax hang lazily over the edges and the curtains had rested with the breeze no longer around to disturb them. Had her vision been of reality, there would've been a struggle and things would've been moved. Or so Caniel figured.

"Come." Caniel said at last to Legolas. "We will leave you to your reading. Good night."

With that she trudged out of the house and down the steps, Legolas close behind her. Though she did not want to admit it, she felt slightly embarrassed, to say the least, for dragging Legolas all that way for nothing. But the vision had been so strong! And so real, surely it was a sign of something…

Once they had made some distance Caniel turned to Legolas, who had until this point remained quiet.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"There is nothing for you to apologize for." Legolas said, smiling at her in the moonlight.

"But there it." She insisted resting herself on a near by bench. "I must have scared you with the sudden vision and then to drag you all the way to her house…it just doesn't settle with me that nothing actually happened. It was too real…"

Her sentence trailed and Legolas couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Sitting next to her, he looked her in the eyes.

"You did scare me with the vision, but who wouldn't have been?" She laughed quietly at his remark. This gave him a little more reassurance so he kept going. "And bringing me here…I would've done the same thing. When something like that happens, one does not easily brush it aside. Your actions were justified and you need not fret. I understand."

She smiled back at him, glad that he was in fact so understanding.

"Have you talked to Elrond about these visions?" Legolas asked her. "They seem pretty…unusual."

"How so?"

"They are so strong, so real, from what I've heard. That is not like a normal vision which comes and goes without much detail." Legolas shrugged looking up the stars. "It just seemed like something one might be a little curious about. Especially one that is not an elf."

Caniel couldn't help but cringe at the remark. How she hated being "classified" as a half-blood. As far as she was concerned, she could pass as either human or elf, and why it mattered what she was, was of no concern of hers. Just the thought of being an outside classification made her squirm, for Caniel wanted nothing more then to be accepted. To be thought of as a normal person, not an undecided "thing."

Legolas suddenly felt the disturbance in Caniel next to him and averted his gaze to find her looking solemnly at the ground.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "I did not mean to offend you."

Caniel shook her head. "It's all right. No one ever does."

Legolas smiled sadly standing and offering her his hand. "You must hear remarks like that a lot?"

"Indeed I do." Caniel took his hand and he helped her up. While they were walking she pondered the decision facing her once more. "What would you choose?"

"I'm sorry?"
"If you had to choose between being human or elf?"

Legolas pondered this for a moment. "I do not think I could say, as of now. For living my life as an elf has allowed me all the graces of elfhood. Therefore my opinion is biased towards the life of an elf."

Caniel nodded. "The elf life offers wonderful gifts. But along with it comes a price."

"Immortality." Legolas looked to her.

"Immortality." Caniel agreed. "I know not that I would want to live forever. Perhaps if I had something worth living for I would think differently…"

This caught Legolas off guard. "What is meant by that?"

Caniel shrugged.

"Surely there is something worth living for?"

"For now. But not for eternity."

Legolas ruffled his brow, the news greatly troubling him. How was it that one could say that? One especially so gifted with family, talents, and friends?

"What about your family?" He offered as they began a climb up the stairs. "Surely living for your brother and parents means something?"

"I know not my parents." She replied. "And Elrond does not need me. And that's not being selfish either; it's just the truth. He knows the truth of death- that it is not man's curse, but gift. He would not mourn, nor would I expect him to."

"What of your friends?"

"Aragorn is bound to that fate. And Arwen…I can not say for sure, but from what I sense, she too will be tied to that fate."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." Legolas questioned, stopping to look at her. "Arwen has chosen human?"

"Not as of now."

"Then why would she?"

"Aragorn."

This news caught Legolas by surprise as well. He knew that Arwen and Aragorn got along well, but never to that extent. Surely living in the other realm was impairing his ability to keep up with what was happening with the ones he cared about.

"Well then, if those are not of a concern, wouldn't one live just to live? To enjoy Middle Earth and all its splendor?"

"Should I choose elf, then I would not live here. Rather in Valanor, which I'm sure is just as beautiful…" Caniel sighed. "Which brings about another issue. I love Middle Earth. I can't bear the thought of leaving the only thing I've ever known and been comfortable with. That's one of the advantages of being human; I can spend the last of my days here."

Legolas shook his head sadly. "It is a confusing series of pros and cons, this decision you face."

"I know." Caniel agreed as they continued walking. "That is why I do not know what to do…I feel so lost."

Legolas smiled quietly. "You are not lost. You are in Rivendell, walking towards your home where you will rest quietly for the night."

Caniel shared the smile eyeing him quietly.

"You are here with friends and family- all people who care for you greatly. You are not lost Caniel. You just haven't decided where to go."

They walked in silence the rest of the way, just enjoying each other's presence. Caniel turned over all that had been said a thousand times in her mind. So much of it made sense, but that only made the decision more difficult. Legolas on the other hand, was just surprised how much he was enjoying the company of this girl. She was head strong and free spirited, as were most humans. Yet there was such a grace and wisdom, possessed among the elves that she too carried. He had never met someone so intriguing before. Had he not been afraid of being rude, Legolas would've continued their conversation, indulging in all her secret wants and desires. Her dreams and ambitions; her previous life and oncoming struggles. He wanted to know everything about her. It was like she was a giant puzzle just waiting to be put together. To be delicately taken out of the box, piece by piece, and placed together to form one grand picture so beautiful and strong that the whole world would forever admire it. And when all was finished, he wanted to stand back and admire it, as would an artist, taking in the intricate details that he hadn't looked for when originally piecing it together. The shape and color, the lines and curves…and then to run his fingers over the finished piece, letting trail his fingertips into the crevices and trace the crafted features…

Legolas suddenly snapped back to reality. They had stopped walking and Caniel had turned to look at him questioningly. In his mind, he realized the great length of disturbing detail he had let his imagination go to. The puzzle had actually become Caniel herself, and he felt his insides knot at the recollection of thoughts that had just overwhelmed him without any warning. Why was he thinking so openly about fine matters like that? He hardly knew her! Yet looking at her standing in front of him, the girl warped in moonlight gazing at him through those mysterious eyes under dark lashes, it made perfect sense. Why wouldn't he piece together the puzzle? And admiring it in the end, feeling every inch, was slowly becoming more of a desire, a want. A need.

Stop it! He ordered himself again. What was wrong with him?

"Is this where you live?" The elf somehow managed to choke out the words, as he tried to regain his composure.

Caniel had apparently noticed his slightly befuddled appearance for she laughed quietly. "Indeed it is. Are you all right?"

"Of course." Legolas finally felt himself pull together and he stood taller and cockier as he looked at her slyly. The next words rolled of his tongue more confident then he actually felt, "Are you?"

Caniel was thrown by the question. Of course she was okay. What was he talking about? "Yes."

Legolas only let a smile inch across his lips as he took one-step closer, careful not to get too close, but enough.

Caniel's first reaction was to step back in surprise at the hinting gesture. She didn't like the look on his face, and she suddenly felt her insides turn and her nerves jump to high.

"Are you sure?" He breathed in an audible whisper.

The next words tumbled in distortion, and the fear she felt was evident on her face as she tried to respond with what confidence she had left. "Yes…I'm fine…I mean…yes…I'm…. fine."

Legolas laughed low in his throat and Caniel felt trapped as he started to lean closer. Legolas himself didn't have a clue what he was doing. In fact, in his mind, he was screaming at himself to stop, but nothing was functioning. His limbs acting on their own, his words were not of his liking. All that was pulsating through him now was to close that gap between Caniel and himself. Surly she would not object. His mind raced, trying to control his actions as the distance slimmed more and more, and to his surprise, Caniel did not back away any further, only stood where she was, frozen in time.

At last he was closing in, his lips only millimeters from her own. He could feel the heat of the moment, her breath quick and erratic on his cheek, the frustration and confusion he felt stirring within her; within him. And yet there was excitement and longing in the both of them. So close now, 2 millimeters. He could taste it, and almost feel the touch of her soft lips against his own. 1 millimeter. A surprised gasp escaped her lips as she felt the sensation of the moment whirl around her, and the heat tickling every end of her body. He was so close. So close and yet…