A/N: Oy vey. If you're still reading this inspite of the long wait, I'm very grateful. Please tell me what you think (as always). : )

Chapter Nine

Tonks

The owl woke me up at two in the morning, just when I'd finally managed to fall asleep.

"Oh shit," I moaned, sitting up and taking the letter. "What now?"

The owl hooted softly and took off through the open window. I pressed the heel of my right hand against my forehead. Somewhere between kissing Remus and going to bed, the drunk had come back.

"I'm drunk," I said to my mirror.

"Clearly," it said back.

I shook my head, trying to clear it, and slit open the parchment. Who would mail me at two a.m.? And why? Why, why, why? Resoundingly, why!

Meeting. Urgent. Sturgis arrested.

"Oh," I said. "Well that explains it." but I was still drunk. And I'd kissed Remus. Oh God. Oh no. I'd kissed Remus and…..and now I was going to have to go back to Number Twelve and see him and it was going to be so awkward.

You should not be thinking about your stupid, sluttish, kissing people self, said my inner Auror (who is not very nice) you should be thinking about Sturgis, who has been arrested. You should be worrying about that. You should be wondering why. You should be going to that meeting NOW.

So I staggered out of bed, grabbed my wand, dragged on a pair of jeans, and apparated away.

It was only when I appeared on the sidewalk outside Grimmauld Place that I realized I'd forgotten shoes. Lovely.

Walking into Head Quarters was a strangely déjà vu experience; Meg and Tom were standing in the hall, looking completely bewildered Sirius was standing by his mother's portrait, and Remus was standing on the bottom step. Of all of them, only Sirius looked as if he hadn't woken from a very deep sleep. Meg was wearing what looked like one of Tom's old t-shirts and pajama bottoms, Tom was still in his black trousers, but he was minus his weapons and his shirt, and Remus was wearing the same clothes he'd eaten dinner (and kissed me) in, but his hair was sticking out in all directions and he looked as if he didn't quite know where or who he was.

"You've forgotten your shoes," said Tom.

"You've forgotten your shirt," I said.

"What is this?" said Remus, clutching the banister, apparently to keep from toppling over and falling asleep on the hallway floor.

"Have some coffee," said Sirius, conjuring a cup out of the air and handing it to Remus, who gulped it down gratefully and immediately refilled it.

"Thanks," he said, looking around the hallway. I had the impression he'd just realized there were other people around him. "Hello Tonks," he said to the wall above my head.

"Wotcher," I said, turning bright red.

There was a long moment when Sirius looked from Remus to me, me to Remus, and then started chuckling quietly and muttering what sounded like "concussed troll".

"Well!" said Tom, a little loudly. "Shall we!"

"Yes. We shall," I set off for the kitchen, wishing very much that I'd thought up a plan for how to handle this.

At the kitchen table I took the seat furthest from Remus, deciding that if I wasn't near him, I wouldn't think about him. I needed to devote my complete and total attention to the matter at hand. It is a very serious matter, I told my self, a very serious matter indeed. Indeed, indeed. Very serious. But it was hard to take things seriously when everyone in the Order (except, of course, Dumbledore) looked befuddled and sleepy.

We talked for hours. It seemed someone had Imperiused Sturgis and tired to force him to open the door to the Department of Mysteries. Now he was in Azkakaban ("So all in all, things are going pretty well!" quipped Dung, drawing death glares from the others).

At six o'clock in the morning the meeting finally ended and everyone dragged themselves home or to work, looking bleached out. Meg, who'd had less coffee than everyone else, was nodding off against Tom's shoulder. He didn't even bother to wake her before they left, just scooped her up and carried her away. I watched them go enviously, thinking how nice it would be if only I could fall asleep too, and knowing that I wouldn't be able to because I had to go to work in five minutes.

"But I don't have any shoes!" I moaned, dropping my head into my hands. It all felt like too much, all of a sudden. I felt very small and very young, and I was certain that nothing I could do would matter, because the thing we were fighting was so strong and we didn't have anyone to help us. If I couldn't even keep track of my stupid shoes how was I going to help save the world? Every one of us was going to die, I knew that. Remus and Sirius and Molly and Arthur and Meg and Tom and Kingsley and all of them, they were all going to die. I knew what happened to the old Order. Moody'd told me all the stories. And I knew I couldn't stand it, I couldn't stand to watch them die. Before I knew it I was crying. Oh, I felt like an idiot. What kind of Auror cries? It was so silly! But I couldn't stop, I just couldn't stop. Thank God everyone else has gone home, I thought, just as Remus put his arm around my shoulders.

"Oh fuck," I said, and then I really broke down.

I can't even remember what he said to me. I don't know, maybe he didn't really say anything. Maybe he just sat there and let me cry for what felt like forever.

When I'd finally pulled myself together I said, "There's snot all over you."

"So there is," he said, and vanished it.

"I'm really sorry," I looked at the cold fireplace so he wouldn't see how red I had turned. "For falling apart."

"You're not the only one," he said. "We're all scared stiff."

"I bet you haven't gone to pieces."

"Not yet," he admitted. "But I've fallen apart enough before."

I snorted. "Sure you have." It was hard to imagine calm, collected Remus ever going to pieces.

We sat in silence for a moment, then he said "Look, I'm really sorry about earlier. I'm sorry I kissed you. It was completely inappropriate and—"

"I kissed you," I said, looking at him for the first time. He was staring down at his hands, which were lying flat on the table.

"You what?" he looked up at me, startled.

"I said I kissed you. I started it."

He frowned, "But….."

Suddenly I started go giggle. Oh, it was so stupidly funny! "I guess," I had to pause for another fit of giggling. "I guess it was m-mutual!"

His face was very still for a moment, but then the corners of his mouth started to twitch upward and he started chuckling too. "We always end up laughing," I said. "Why do we always end up laughing?"

And then he really did start it. There was no confusion this time, he just leaned forward and kissed me. My heart was going very, very fast, and I knew he could feel it because his fingers were resting lightly against my neck, just at the pulse point. I put my hand against the left side of his chest and I could feel his heart too, racing like it wanted to escape. Once I did that the kiss got more intense, and suddenly my arms went round his neck and I was pressed up against him and both our hearts were pounding against the right side of the other's chest, same rhythm, same time. It was crazy, like something from a story. Something I'd never have thought could be real.

And then we broke apart.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said.

And I guess that was that.