A/N: once again, I apologize for the wait. There'll probably be another delay between this chapter and the next one. Thank you so much to everyone who's kept reading and I hope you like it.

Chapter 10

Tonks

It was one of those evenings when the sun seems to melt out of the sky. I was crouched by the window in Sirius' room, leafing through one of Remus' books. He had so many strange books. Wizarding books on everything you could guess at. Muggle books, too. I'd never read any muggle books but I'd always wanted to. I was reading 'The Crucible' that evening. I'd started it a few days ago, early in the morning. I wake up early but Remus is at the bottom of a well in the mornings.

"How is it?" asked Sirius. He was fiddling with a piece of parchment: charming it so it folded itself into a frog, a swan, a mouse, a lantern.

I wanted to say 'It's good' but I couldn't get it out. "It's…..a bit scary, actually." I said instead. "Too appropriate."

"What's it about?"

"The Salem Witch trials. Well Remus said it was about…..some American bloke or other making trouble in the fifties, but on the surface it's about Salem."

"Well they were all a load of bollox, weren't they?" said Sirius. "Tried to burn witches and they froze the flames. It's nothing to worry about."

"You're mixing up Europe and America. There were no witches or wizards in Salem. They hung muggles for witchcraft." I turned the book over in my hands. "I dunno. I suppose it reminds me of how the ministry's going lately. Everyone out spying for Umbridge."

I stretched my back and glanced at the clock. I felt as if I'd looked at it a thousand times that evening.

"Worried about him?" asked Sirius.

"No. I mean…..well yes. No. I don't know." I shook my head violently. "I—"

"I understand," said Sirius quietly. "But he's done it enough before."

"He's been looking so ragged this week," I said. "And I haven't seen him all day. He was feeling horrible yesterday. I could tell, but he wouldn't admit it."

"No," murmured Sirius. "No he wouldn't. Bloody idiot."

I stood, the book thudded to the floor. "I'm going to see him." I strode into the hall and made for Remus' room. Just before I reached the door all the courage went out of me. Part of me was afraid to see him so low. I took a deep breath, thinking, none of this Tonks. You've been trained to deal with worse, and opened the door.

The light was dimmer in here. He'd closed the curtains, but they were thin and the sun still filtered in, bathing the whole room in dusty pink. The radio was playing an old classic song from before I was born. Remus was curled on the bed. I felt slightly weak looking at him. He looked like one of those junkies you see huddled in the mouth of the tube station, all shaking and pale and sweaty because they've gone too long without a fix. Even more frightening: he wasn't all there. I could see that plainly. He was outside himself; he was closer to the music.

"Hey," he said, opening one eye.

"Hey," I said, coming to sit by him.

He brushed the back of my hand with his fingertips, "Had a good day?"

I shrugged, "Can I stay for a bit?"

"Till the sun sets."

I curled up beside him, tucking my head under his chin, resting my forehead against his chest. He put his arm around my waist, let his fingers play across the small of my back. I don't know how long we lay there, in that strange place between waking and sleeping, till we finally drifted off.

I woke up two hours later because of the pain in my upper arm. Remus was half sitting up, his face dead white, his teeth gritted. One arm was curled around his stomach, as if someone had punched him there, the other was clutching my arm hard.

"Get out," he gasped.

"No!" I sat up and grabbed his knee. "No! I'll stay here! I'll—"

"Get. Out." He pushed me away and I over balanced and tumbled off the bed. Remus retched. "Please," he managed. "Please."

I hesitated a moment. Remus cried out as if someone had snapped one of his bones. I couldn't bear it. I scrambled out of the room, pulled the door closed behind me, then sank down against it. I could feel a sob rising in my throat. I rested my head against my knees, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to calm down. The floor boards shook slightly under me, the way they do in old houses when someone is running toward you. It was Sirius. He pointed his wand at Remus' door and murmured an incantation. It glowed red for a moment and then the noise from inside stopped.

"What did you do?" I yelped.

"Sealed it," he said shortly.

"But there's no noise. What's happened to him?"

"Nothing's happened. I soundproofed it."

I glared at him.

"Don't look at me like that, Tonks. It was his idea."

The sob that I'd been fighting finally escaped. I tried to hide it and it turned into a weird, hiccup sort of sound.

"C'mon," said Sirus, trying to help me up. "Let's go downstairs."

I shook my head, "No. I want to stay here."

"You can't help him Tonks."

"I know that. I'm staying anyway."

Sirius gave me a long look then, as if he were trying to confirm something. He sank down in front of me and said, "Be careful."

"I won't go in," I said wearily.

"No. I meant be careful about falling in love with him." He left before I could stay a word.

I woke up the next morning feeling as if I were about to come apart at the joints. I stood stiffly and tried the door. It opened. There must have been a time limit on the charm.

Inside the room was a wreck. Furniture was upended, leaves of paper lay across the room, the curtains were almost completely shredded. I found Remus curled in a corner. I thought for a horrible, heart stopping moment, that he was dead.

I knelt next to him. There was a horrible cut down his left arm that was too deep for me to heal fully. I did the best I could with it and then conjured some bandages, in case it came open again. Moving him seemed like a bad idea, so I took a pillow and the blanket from his bed and covered him up. Before I left I brushed his hair out of his eyes.

Be careful, Sirius had said. I couldn't quite understand why.