The Diary of Harry Potter
Entry: 13:
Hey, Diary.
You know, I don't think I've ever been so annoyed in my life. Can you guess where I am right now? No, you'll never guess…
I'm in the car. Yep, you heard me right; I'm in the bloody car.
Why? I'll tell you why…
Today, as you know, Diary, is Sunday. In other words, the day there is usually no post. And so, Uncle Vernon was happy this morning. Exhausted and a bit crazy-looking, but happy.
It wasn't to last, though.
Just as he was commenting happily on the fact that there would be no post today, he got hit in the back of his head with a letter. Uh huh, you heard me right. He was hit with one. Then, before we knew it, dozens of letters came flying out of the fireplace at us like bullets. I tried to get one, Diary, I really did… but I couldn't. You wouldn't be able to, either, if an insane uncle and shrieking aunt were yanking at anything you got your hands on.
Anyway, Uncle Vernon grabbed me and threw me into the hall. I really wish I was bigger; then I would have thrown him out into the hall, and then I would have been left alone with all my letters, and would have been able to read them.
Aunt Petunia and Dudley quickly followed me out, and Uncle Vernon, too. Believe it or not, Uncle Vernon was quite literally pulling out pieces of his mustache. He told us all to get packed, and be back in five minutes so we could leave. I REALLY didn't want to leave. I WANTED MY LETTERS!
When we were packing, something happened that would have been funny if it weren't for the letter situation; the tub of lard, Dudley, got in trouble for trying to pack his TV, VCR, AND computer into his duffel bag. The idiot.
And now, here we are. We've been driving all day, and I'm not even sure Uncle Vernon knows where he's going… he just wants away from my letters, I think. Why in bleeding hell won't he let me read them? What could freak him out SO much? Now, I'm hungry, thirsty, I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm about to end this entry because the sun's setting.
Well, bye for now, diary… I'll see you later…