Beaten Chapter Ten
Evanescent Hope
Clarice Starling had been on tenterhooks ever since the package containing her hope had been whisked away to Hannibal Lecter and the only future she could desire for her and her child. They had never talked much of childhood, although she realised his cannot have been a happy one for his psyche to be damaged so. What would he think of being a father? Would he answer her or just disappear as he could do so perfectly and completely? Hannibal Lecter, she mused, was such a difficult man to predict but he didn't seem the sort to abandon responsibility that was so clearly his.
She stared idly out the window at the last leaves of Autumn twirling into the foliage strewn garden and behind the deep grey, overcast sky that was tinged white with the threat of snow. Did she really want to have this child? All her life she had never even considered having an intimate relationship with a man never mind conceiving a child- it had seemed too difficult. No former relationship had she felt secure enough in to make such a commitment to, but after a week it had all changed. All her doubts and misconceptions had been erased by his intensely emotive eyes, his dark lips and the intricate dips and curves of his pale body. And behind his physical form was his ever-seeking, ever-questioning mind that probed and challenged her as no one had before. She sighed and stood feeling drowsiness overcoming her- damn pregnancy, she thought muzzily as she slumped onto the bed and into sleep.
A bitter breeze chilled her face as she began to wake and toyed with stray hairs, tickling her eyes and noes. With a groan she rolled over and a cool palm pushed against her mouth, pressure forcing her head back onto the pillow. She felt her heart jump into her throat- someone was above her. Reaching for her gun she was stopped again by another hand.
"Clarice. Calm down." His voice was calm.
"Hannibal? What are you doing here?"
He gave her a measured look. "Why do you think I am here, Clarice? It has come to my attention that you are pregnant. I thought you would want me here to help sort things out."
"But there's plenty of time, why are you here now?" She sat up on the edge of the bed, facing him.
He looked at her again; he looked sad and tired.
"We have another week at the most." He said quietly.
She stared at him. He was a doctor; he knew it takes atleast nine months until the baby is ready to be born. Suddenly it dawned on her what he was saying.
"Abortion." She sounded horrified and he looked at her again with that weary expression.
"Clarice, you have to. This is no world to bring a child into especially the circumstances as to which this child will be born. You know I cannot help you at all. What you have inside you is a permanent link to me and that is not something you want to keep- its dangerous, Clarice. For you and this child."
She just stared at the rumpled duvet, eyes flicking very fast. Why had she ever hoped to think she could have one little thing normally? Why was her whole life so fucked up? God, she hadn't realised how attached to this baby she had become even though she had cursed it in-between vomiting and over every night sleep she missed because of it. Every single person she had loved had been taken from her- and now her only child was going to be killed before ver seeing her face.
"Clarice?" He sat down on the edge of the bed and she moved a little away from him without thinking. He sighed and took her limp hand in his own.
"Clarice, I am sorry but you cannot have ever seen this working? I thought you would have realised the danger this child brings. You think the big men up in the F.B.I aren't going to be suspicious? You have already been questioned about my escape have you not? And now you're pregnant with no partner in sight. You have to see sense. I'm not doing this out of meanness because there is nothing more I want to see than you happy, Clarice."
He tipped her chin with his finger and looked her straight in the eye.
"You cannot keep this child, Clarice." He said firmly, waiting for some recognition, some sort of agreement in her eyes. He saw the brightness that had always shone there and hoped that her intellect would overcome her emotions.
He stood and turned to face her standing.
"Would you like me to stay?"
She looked him in the eyes and he felt her anger burning strong and hot.
"No." She turned and walked to the bathroom, locking the door. It was only after she had heard the porch door shut that she let her tears fall, and fall they did.
The airport throbbed with sound- both the frequent engines of incoming and out going planes and the excited chatter, greetings and farewells of people. One woman walked silent and alone through the din of the high ceiling building to the kiosk by the check-ins.
"One ticket to London." Clarice Staling said, voice strong.
The woman typed into the computer.
"Is that a return, madam?"
Clarice Starling placed one hand on the warm bump forming in her stomach.
Clarice smiled at the woman "One way please." She answered