I pointed Lindy to the kitchen and bent down to talk to Mireya,
"there's some toys in a box in the living room that my nieces and nephews use, you can play with them if you like?"
she nodded at me, staring up at me with her big brown eyes that were so like her mother's. I took her hand and showed her the toys and left her playing with a doll that was also my eldest niece's (well second cousin really) favourite. I went into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. We waited in silence, I don't know about Lindy, but I just had no idea what to say. I gave her her tea and sat down blowing mine. I placed it down and noticed she still had hers clutched in her hand, she was staring down into it as if it would tell her the secrets of the world.
"Lindy, your hands!" I shouted, grabbing the cup from her, she already had red welts forming on her hands, she stared at them in amazement and I realised she must be in shock or something. I took her to the sink and ran them under the cold water. Then I got a dish cloth soaked it so it was cold and wrapped it round her hands.
"ow," she squeaked, as held onto her gently to stop the towel falling off... yeah well that's what it would have looked like anyway. Truly, I just wanted to be close to her, after all the hurt she'd caused me, I still wanted to be close to her.
"ow," she said again, and I noticed she was gently sobbing, I pulled into me and held her while she cried, over something I knew nothing about. I could guess but I didn't want to think about it. When she had finished she pulled away from me, dabbing her eyes with the towel, she smiled, and looked embarrassed. I could almost see her pulling herself together, putting a mask over her real self, that took a lot of practise.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't even ask how you are, I guess you're teaching dance right?" she smiled, and I couldn't take it, this act, covering over everything that had happened, I just snapped
"teaching!" I shouted, "you think someone would let me teach them, or their kids dance when I've got a criminal record, one that says I'm a bloody rapist!"
she gasped and it was if I'd slapped her,
"what?" she whispered, eyes wide. Then Mireya came in, looking a little worried,
"Mister Jesse, I broke one of your toys, I dropped it when I heard you shouting," her eyes were welling up with tears,
"don't worry, carina, I'll fix it for you, and I'm very sorry I shouted, don't cry little one," I took her through to the living room and found a little china cup on the floor, it had a chip in the bottom, "i don't think I can fix this, but it will still work, are you ok to keep playing while I talk to momma?"
she took the cup and nodded, then she asked "what does carina mean?"
I smiled, "it means my love, it's an expression really, in Spanish" (A/N I'm not sure if it actually is, but just pretend, hehehe)
"my name is Spanish,"
"i know, it means miraculous right?"
she nodded, then turned back to the tea party she'd been laying out. I went back into the kitchen,
"is she ok?" Lindy asked
"yes, she's fine,"
"I'm sorry, but what did you mean before? When were you arrested?" she still looked puzzled
"your wedding!"
"but... but... you were released then my father saw to it, he made you an offer that you obviously couldn't refuse," she was clasping her hands, even though it must hurt.
"but I did, I said no, I..." everything was clicking into place for me, and I could see the same thing on her face, "oh Lindy," I stepped over to her but she put her hand on my chest, stopping me,
"i went to the police station, they told me..." she looked up at me, eyes shining with unshed tears, "why did he do it,"
"i don't know, I can guess, but I'll never know, I thought, when you didn't come to see me, that... you didn't,"
"i thought the same," I tried to step forward but she kept the space between us, "how long?"
"i was sentenced 5 years, but I got out after almost 4." I said quietly,
"4 years," she breathed, "how?"
"looks like you haven't exactly had a great seven years yourself, Lindy, what happened to you?"
"i... I can't talk about it, maybe later but I..."
"i understand," I stroked my hand gently over her cheek and she flinched away from me, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to... I don't know"
"it isn't the same jesse, too much has happened, we're not the same people any more,"
"are you trying to tell me that you don't love me any more,"
"no, I just..."
"because," I interrupted, "if it's me your worried about, then don't because I... I never stopped loving you, even when I thought you didn't love me, stupid I know but I can't help what I feel, what I want, and what I want right now, is, just to be close to you, dance with me?"
"i don't remember how," she said, quite matter-of-factly since I'd just confessed my undying love for her,
"mi bonita, it's not about the steps, just listen to the music." I walked into the living room and started to sort through the records,
Lindy's POV
I stood in the kitchen, not knowing what to do, I wanted so badly to join him, to dance with him and let him wipe away my tears, but I knew it wouldn't work, it would only numb me for a while. I heard the music start and realised I was afraid, afraid, not of him, but of what dancing with him would mean, to him, to me.
Love, love is strange
Lot of people take it for a game
Once you get it
You'll never manna quit (no, no)
I heard the song and realised it was one that we had already danced to, all those years ago in the club. I couldn't believe I still remembered nearly every detail of that night,
After you've had it (yeah, yeah)
You're in an awful fix
Many people
Don't understand (no, no)
They think loving (yeah, yeah)
Is money in the hand
I knew that he wanted me to remember that, but I just didn't know what to do. I walked into the living room, barely knowing what would happen next, I stood in the doorway, watching him, dancing with Mireya, her standing on his feet.
Your sweet loving
Is better than a kiss
When you leave me
Sweet kisses I miss
They carried on dancing without noticing me, but when the instrumental bit was over Jesse looked up and smiled at me, singing the words,
"How do you call your lover boy?"
"come 'ere lover boy," the record answered,
"and if he doesn't answer?"
"ohh lover boy!" I still stayed silent
"and if he STILL doesn't answer,"
"i simple say," I sang, stepping further into the room, "baby, ooh baby, my sweet baby, your the one!" Mireya giggled, and went to sit on the sofa,
"dance momma dance, with Mister Jesse,"
I stepped close enough to Jesse for him to whisper, "baby, ooh baby, my sweet baby, your the one" I laughed, then realised that it was one of the only times I had laughed with someone else except Mireya, I think he noticed the serious look in my face because he pulled me closer, so the full line of our body was almost touching, almost.
It made me shiver to feel him so close, I couldn't deny how I felt, not to myself anyway. The next song started and we danced, and danced, and danced.