Title: Safety

Warnings: AU, possibly OOC, timeline bending, graphic violence, slight shonen-ai, severe angst, author who hasn't seen the whole series, character deaths.

Rating: PG-13

Prologue – Red Rain

"You'd be better off dead."

The words struck Shinji head-on, leaving him staring blankly at the boy before him. Nagisa Kaworu stood a scant two feet in front of him, smiling – a warm smile-, which confused Shinji even more.

"You do, it would all be easier-for both of us- if you just died." After a moment, Shinji identified the emotion in Kaworu's voice as pity. It was not foreign to Shinji; most people tended to pity him, or look down upon him – Misato, his father, Asuka- but he had never expected to hear pity in his voice. Granted, he had known the silver-haired boy for a day at most, but Shinji felt different around Kaworu.

Safe.

He felt safe.

Until now. Now, with those striking crimson eyes leering into his, framed by violently silver hair, he felt much more afraid than he had ever been in his Eva. Shinji wasn't exactly sure how the shade of one's hair or eyes could be violent, but everything about Kaworu emitted an air of destruction.

Kaworu leaned forward, peering into Shinji's eyes, smiling at him again. For the life of him, Shinji could not understand that smile. It was too warm, too caring, too…affectionate, to be directed at him. And now Kaworu reached out, placing two fingers on the side of Shinji's neck.

Mouth opening and closing, Shinji finally found his voice. "Why do I de-deserve to…die?" Beginning as a whisper, his voice shattered, allowing his query to be heard.

"Because it will make it all so much easier. It will save you, Shinji. It will save me."

Shinji remained silent, acutely aware of the fingers on his neck. As he tried to calm his nerves he realized that Kaworu was, in fact, searching for a pulse. His pulse.

And he wanted to stop it.

Only then did it really sink in. Kaworu meant to kill him. He really meant to kill him. And as Shinji looked over him, he didn't note any weapons, concealed or obvious. That meant he'd die by Kaworu's bare hands.

Kaworu shook his head slightly as he noted the increase in Shinji's pulse, aware of how uncomfortable and frightened the other boy was. "It's ok," he whispered into Shinji's ear, his breath whistling over tanned skin, causing it to prickle, "nothing bad will happen."

"You promise?" The words were loud and clear, unlike the previous question. They startled Kaworu, and he found that Shinji was staring up at him, his eyes accusing in the way only a child's could be. But Shinji wasn't a child, not exactly. Children, Kaworu reflected, have childhoods. The Eva pilots most certainly didn't have childhoods, or so Kaworu had been lead to believe.

Shinji continued to stare into Kaworu's eyes, trying desperately not flinch as red clashed with gray-blue. "Do you promise?" He asked again, his tone more accusing, more bold. He was determined to make Kaworu back down, to frighten him. Unfortunately, his chances weren't high if he had to use all of his resolve to look the boy in the eye.

"I can't promise you that, Shinji."

"Why, why can't you?" Shinji had abandoned his angry, accusatory front and had dissolved into fright. He bit down on his lip, tears collecting at the corner s of his eyes, dripping down the sides of his face in single file. "You tell me I'm better off dead, and I know –I know what you're going to do," Shinji gasped through the now freely-spilling tears, " you're going to kill me right here, for some reason that makes no sense at all and then you're just going to walk away and do as you please, aren't you?"

"It's for both our goods. It'd save both us quite a bit of pain." The fingers moved from Shinji's neck to his face, allowing the tears to run over them, coursing down Kaworu's hand as it lifted into the space between the two."

"Killing me? How can dieing save me pain?" Shinji pulled back from Kaworu, stumbling backwards, rubbing a hand across his still-streaming eyes. "You have strange definition of pain, then" he sniffed, "if you want to kill someone to save them."

Kaworu's right index finger lifted his chin up, bringing them nearly nose-to-nose. "Would you rather live with the feeling of killing someone you cared about?"

"But-"

"Just answer me, Shinji."

" I-I don't really know. I mean, I can't even think of anyone, really. There's Rei, but I don't think I'll ever have to kill her. And Misato, but she's not that close to me."

"What about me?"

Shinji flushed, looking to the side in order to avoid Kaworu's gaze. "Why, why would I have to kill you?"

Kaworu ignored the question, turning Shinji's head so that they were facing once again. "You're better off not knowing," he murmured. Lifting Shinji's face up even as he moved his head downward slightly, Kaworu kissed him.

Kissed Shinji.

And that was really all that could be said. Anything else would just distort the feeling. Because Shinji had never been kissed, and, as Kaworu pulled his head back slowly, he remained frozen in a state of shock.

"That was," Shinji searched for the right word, "really nice…but, why? Why'd you do that?"

"Because," Kaworu paused, "I think I love you."

As Shinji gaped at him, the rain began to fall. At first is was gentle peppering, then the drops became more frequent and larger. And if either boy had looked up, they would have noticed that the sky, while covered with dark, ominous clouds, was also vaguely red. The dying sun was peeking out from between the clouds and the horizon, tinting the world a delicate crimson, which was quite fitting for the mood of the confrontation.

Kaworu viewed his following action as though it were an out-of-body experience. Half of him didn't really understand why he did it. Because when he had said he loved Shinji, he meant it. But he did not love the Lilum. He loved small things about them; their music, their art, and Shinji. But that which was born of Adam must return to Adam, and even Tabris, the Angel of Free Will, could not escape the seductive pull of destiny.

But he did it because he loved Shinji. He did it to spare him from the insane grief he knew would consume all that Shinji was. He knew Shinji was the one who was supposed to go after him. IT would save both of them, he decided.

Secure in this knowledge, he drew Shinji to him, arms wrapped around him. Wandering hands found a resting place on the back of Shinji's neck. And that was it.

A brief contraction and relaxation of his hand muscles.

A sickening crack.

And Ikari Shinji was dead.

And with him, any chance for the prevention of Third Impact.

If Kaworu had cared to notice, he would have seen that the sky was crying blood.