"Shee-go!"
Sprawled out on a couch, Shego ignored Drakken's shout and continued reading her book.
"Shego!" Drakken wasn't quite in sight yet, but the yelling was definitely getting closer.
Shego weighed her obligations as Drakken's assistant, how lazy she felt at that precise moment, and the faint possibility that Drakken wanted her to do something that would actually be interesting. Reluctantly, she called out, "In here, Doc."
Drakken stomped into the room. "Ah, there you are Shego. Why don't you come when I call? What if it were an emergency?"
"If it were an emergency, your voice would have been pitched higher. You'd have been all like, 'Shego, help me!'," said Shego, making her voice high and squeaky as she said the last part.
Drakken bobbed his head back and forth, wishing he could refute what Shego had said. He finally settled on, "Nevertheless, Shego, I'm the evil genius and you're the sidekick. You're supposed to come when I call, not the other way around."
"But here I am, and here you are," muttered Shego. However, she softened the snap by getting to her feet and standing somewhat to attention. He does have a point, I guess, she thought. "What do you need, Dr. Drakken? Rare component stolen from a top secret lab? Need me to run interference against Kim Possible while you put your latest plan into place? Kidnap a head of state for you? I'm ready for action!"
"Well that's more like it!" said Drakken. "What I need is for you make sure an important package gets into my hands."
"Yeah?" said Shego, interested in spite of herself.
Drakken nodded. "Yes. You can pick it up down at the post office."
Shego sat back onto the couch, picked up her book, and began searching for where she had stopped reading.
"Oooh, don't be like that," said Drakken. "Project Firebreak is very nearly complete. These are critical components, and when the machine is complete then at last I will have the means in hand to rule the world! I can't afford any screw-ups."
Shego made a show of considering what Drakken had just said, deliberately stroking her chin to indicate deep thought. "No screw-ups… so then you're not going to work on the project anymore?"
"What do you-" began Drakken, before Shego's jibe properly sank home. "Shego! You certainly are breaking out the sass today."
"Yes. Yes, I am," agreed Shego. Tired of the banter, she continued, "All right Doc, I'll go pick your parts up. You have some kind of postal notification for me?"
"Right here," said Drakken, patting his coat pocket. He frowned and patted his other coat pocket. Then he pushed up his coat and tried his pants pocket.
Shego watched her employer in amusement. "Lose something?"
"No! I just must have left it back in the lab, that's all." Drakken turned and walked out, presumably to retrieve the errant postal document that would allow Shego to claim his precious parts. Shego followed him.
"So what is Project Firebreak supposed to do?" asked Shego as they walked.
"Well I was going to tell you all about it," said Drakken. He raised his head, pushing his nose into the air in a gesture of superiority. "But since you're in such a snit today, you can just wait to find out until everyone else does."
Shego scowled. I hate it when he keeps me in the dark on his plans, she thought. It means that when the stupid part shows up, and it always does, I'm going to be the one taking the hit. She knew she had no one but herself to blame, though. Much as Shego enjoyed tweaking Drakken, there was an art to it. Push too hard and Drakken's feelings would get bruised enough that he got uncooperative. Uncooperative Drakken meant more work for Shego.
They walked out into the lab bay to the table cluttered with Drakken's current pile of work. The new henchman, Carter, had a clipboard in one hand and was studying a humming machine, apparently taking notes on its performance. Drakken searched around the table and finally found what he was looking for near where Carter was working.
"Here Shego. Run and fetch this back for me as fast as you can. I'm all a-twitter to get to work," said Drakken, handing the postal notice to Shego.
Shego studied the notice. "It doesn't say how big this package is going to be."
Drakken gave a full-throated evil laugh, letting the sound fill the area. "Big enough, Shego. Big enough to conquer the world. I will-"
Drakken was cut off as Shego grabbed him by the collar and dragged him forward until her face was inches away from his. "Will it fit on my motorcycle, yes or no?"
"Yes, yes it will," squeaked Drakken. Shego immediately released him.
Drakken readjusted his collar. "I don't want you to think I'm going to be idle while you're waiting in line at the post office, Shego. You know I like to keep a lot of projects going at once. Keeps the mind supple," said Drakken. He tapped his head by way of demonstration.
Shego cocked her head to one side, waiting to see where her boss was going with his statement.
"I have invented a hallucinogenic compound that can be applied to common objects as a nearly-invisible coating. You have only to touch the object is to be afflicted with visions of the worst terrors imaginable. It will be the ultimate security device. Once I've finished coating all that I wish to protect, I need no longer fear my own inventions being turned against me! I plan to start with my most expensive lab tools," announced Drakken proudly.
Shego put her hands out and attempted to caution Drakken. "One little problem, Doc. It seems like you might need to touch your own-"
Drakken interrupted. "Shego, I know what you're going to say, and I assure you I've already considered the problem."
"Oh you have," replied Shego.
"Of course. Kim Possible, my arch-nemesis, always wears gloves on her missions. Be assured Shego, the compound will even work through gloves." Drakken held out his hands and tugged on one of his own gloves to emphasize the point.
So much stupid. Brain overloaded, thought Shego. "Dr. Drakken, I-" Shego started to say.
"Mr. Carter here will be assisting me in the application," said Drakken, interrupting again. He reached out with an arm and pulled Carter to his side. "I think it will be quite refreshing to work with an employee who takes orders. Who isn't always questioning my plans. Don't you think so, Shego? Don't you think it will be refreshing for me?"
Shego looked past Drakken at Carter. His eyes pleaded with her. Do your job, tell the boss his plan is stupid, they seemed to say. Please tell him so I can get out of this.
It made her decision all the easier. Shego pointed at Drakken and grinned. "Great idea, boss! You get right on that. I only wish I could help you, but you know I'm busy going to the post office, doing my little part for your master plan. Can't wait to hear about how it all worked out when I get back."
With that, Shego turned and left the room. Behind her Drakken called out, "Have a good drive."
At first glance, Shego didn't see any open spots at the post office parking lot, which was far too small for the size of the complex it supported. Great, I'm going to have to circle the block to find a spot, then walk in. Or… wait a minute, I'm evil. Problem solved, she thought to herself.
Shego idled her bike into the last remaining handicapped parking spot, just ahead of an enormous station wagon with handicapped plates driven by a little old woman. The villainess gave the old woman a maliciously cheery wave before turning to go into the post office.
Then her cell phone rang.
Shego looked at the number, and her face twisted up into an expression of disgust. It was Malcom. She flipped her phone open and demanded, "What do you want?"
"Ah, Ms. Shego. I have a matter that needs your attention. Since you're unofficially Dr. Drakken's second in command, I thought perhaps I could bring it to you."
"Unofficially!" said Shego shrilly.
"Speaking technically only, of course," said Malcom, managing not to sound at all apologetic. "I did attempt to contact Drew, but he was a bit preoccupied. Something about being stalked by a cheerleader, mole rats eating his brain, and being at high school in his underwear. All quite exciting, I'm sure."
Shego pulled the phone away from her face and stifled a laugh. Then she put the phone back into position. "Whatever. Why are you bothering me?" asked Shego.
"You recall that legal action with regards to the Joel Kord identity? Well, it has escalated since we last spoke. I'm afraid Mr. Kord has been named as a defendant in a class-action lawsuit. I will no longer be able to handle this alone, and it will be necessary to hire additional legal aid," said Malcom in carefully even tones.
"Whatever. Hire more lawyers then. This is what we pay you for," said Shego.
"I work on a commission basis, Ms. Shego. But very well, I will consider myself authorized to bill additional legal counsel. There may be problems when they expect to meet their client, however," said Malcom.
"So just… ummm, figure something…" said Shego, hesitantly. I hate it when I have to try to come up with ideas, she thought.
"Perhaps inform them that Mr. Kord is on a trip and unavailable? Or I could hire a stand-in, though that might be a bit risky for the long-term," suggested Malcom.
"Fine, both ideas sound good. Don't hire anybody to play Joel Kord unless you have to. Now buh-bye," said Shego. She hung up the call.
Shego crossed the parking lot, still in a foul mood from talking to the lawyer. She pushed open one of the glass doors to the post office and stepped inside. The first sight to greet her, just across from the entrance, was a crowd of 'Wanted' posters pinned to the wall.
Naturally, Shego couldn't resist stopping to check for herself and Drakken. Neither of their pictures adorned the wall, though. While certainly wanted for crimes all over the United States, California included, Drakken had never attacked Las Angeles, and the posters seemed mostly concerned with local criminals. Shego did, however, spot a rendering of Professor Dementor wearing his usual cowl mask.
Oh, I this is going to be fun. I have to tell Drakken about this. I'll just mention it casually. 'Hey Dr. D, you know I saw Professor Dementor's picture on the post office wall. Guess he's becoming pretty famous. You? No, your picture wasn't up there.' It'll drive him crazy, thought Shego.
The idea made her grin evilly to herself as she rounded the corner, but the sight awaiting her there wiped all traces of humor off her lips. What lay before Shego were lines. They were long, long lines of people, all waiting in patient desperation to reach the counter and get their mail-related concerns addressed. With great effort, Shego wrestled down an urge to walk back the way she had come. Instead she joined a line and reluctantly became one of the teeming masses.
It was humiliating, of course, and a part of her wanted to just cut loose with a few plasma bolts, clear out the room, and then go to the back herself to find Drakken's package. She couldn't, though. After making such a point about what a simple mission this was, the only thing more humiliating than continuing to wait in line was the idea of coming back to Drakken empty-handed, admitting that his components had somehow gotten lost or destroyed. So Shego strangled her destructive impulses for the sake of her pride.
There wasn't much concern in her mind about being spotted and identified. For the occasion, Shego had dispensed with her usual jumpsuit to wear a black pair of jeans and a green shirt. Then she had bound her hair into a thick ponytail and put on a baseball cap. For a final touch, Shego had even made the effort to damp down the Go Team Glow inside her and leach most of the green shading out of her skin, something she wasn't even sure that Drakken knew she could do.
Not that all the effort was for Blue Boy. After this little milk run, Shego planned to go enjoy the city a little, and she wasn't in the mood for playing a game of catch-me-if-you-can with the local cops.
As Shego waited, an odd thing began to happen. Her mood began to lighten, and she started to feel almost happy. It's not so bad, doing something nice and normal for once, she thought. A small laugh escaped her lips at the thought, and she swung her arms out in exasperation, accidentally hitting the man in front of her.
He turned towards her, smiling. "Yes, can I help you with something?"
Shego giggled. "No silly! I was just being clumsy and not looking where I was putting my arms."
The man, who liked to be in his thirties and slightly overweight, just nodded and said, "That's all right. Nice day like today, who could mind anything coming from a pretty girl like you?"
"Aw, that's so sweet. You know, I want to tell you that I-" Shego paused in mid-speech, carefully considering something. He mouth hung open as she tried to work it out.
"Yes?" said the man, prompting her.
Shego became aware of the quiet hum of conversation all around her, as everyone else in the room talked to each other in a quiet and relaxed manner. This solidified the suspicion growing in her mind. "I'm pretty sure that I've been drugged somehow, since I normally wouldn't be acting like this!" said Shego brightly.
Overcoming the relaxed feeling that had enveloped her through an effort of will, Shego carefully sniffed the air. There was a faint strange chemical odor there that she couldn't quite place. Following up on this discovery, Shego turned and looked carefully towards the back of the room. After a moment, she identified a man wearing a coat that looked much too thick and heavy considering the temperature. There was a suspicious-looking nozzle poking out of one sleeve, and the man appeared to be breathing through a small filter mask he held clutched to his face. Even as Shego spotted the man, his eyes locked with hers and he seemed to realize he'd been made. He took the mask away from his mouth and started blowing a whistle.
About ten men, each wearing a purple jumpsuit with a pinkish-white stripe running down the center, ran into the post office. Five of them ran for the postal counter and left it, heading for the back. Five of them removed truncheon-like objects from their belts and moved towards Shego. The truncheons began glowing on their business end as the fighters moved into position around Shego.
I wonder if we can talk this out peacefully, thought Shego. Once what she had begun to think sank in, she pounded herself on the side of the head. No, no, no. The delay as Shego tried to move herself into fighting mode allowed the five fighters to surround her, ruthlessly shoving the rest of the crowd aside with the merest touch of their glowing truncheons. The man Shego had just been talking to was laid out on the floor a few feet away, still twitching after having been stunned by a truncheon-blow.
The five struck at Shego in unison. Normally she would have had no trouble dodging them, but the happy-gas was still slowing her down. One of the truncheons got through, tagging Shego a glancing blow across the side. The physical impact was nothing, but the glowing energy sent a blast of electric pain through her stomach. Shego struck back by instinct, igniting her hands in green flame and grabbing the offending truncheon by the middle to melt it in half. She then whirled around, surrounding herself for an instant in a ring of glowing green fire to drive back her attackers.
Need to get some distance, thought Shego. She leapt into the air, landing on top of a nearby stamp vending machine. Unfortunately, once up there her drug-addled reflexes betrayed her again. She teetered, unable to find her balance, and fell to the ground. Shego tried to roll with the impact and ended up bumping a trash can, making it fall over.
The purple-suited troops didn't give Shego any respite, charging after her. Pieces of trash paper covering her body, Shego scrambled to her feet and picked up the trash can. She began using it as a shield to fend off her attackers, blocking the blows they made with their energy truncheons. With her back to a wall and a shield in hand, Shego was able to prevent herself from taking another hit. Pinned up against the wall, though, she couldn't go on the offensive. There was no room for her usual acrobatics, and anyway she didn't trust her own sense of balance at the moment. Matters stalemated for a minute or so, the troops seemingly content to keep her contained.
I've got to get out of the building into the fresh air, clear my head of this gas, thought Shego. She took a chance by shifting the trash can to a one-handed grip and firing a sweeping blast of plasma, trying to push back her attackers. Two were hit and sent flying back into the post office. Though the concussive force had knocked them back, their uniforms proved fire-resistant enough so that they weren't burned. One of the remaining troops took advantage of her weakened grip to slap down the trash can and hit her in the left shoulder with a truncheon. Shego screamed as that arm went numb and dropped to her knees, releasing the trash can.
Desperate for a distraction, Shego used her still-functioning hand to blast at the front legs of the stamp vending machine. It collapsed forward, knocking down the attacker who had just scored a hit on her. That left only two guards, one of them without a truncheon since Shego had melted it earlier. Not enough, even drugged and with a bum shoulder, thought Shego.
Jumping back to her feet, Shego grabbed her unarmed attacker and used him to block the remaining truncheon-wielder's attack as she moved past. She was successful, feeling the man stiffen in her hand as he took a shot to the chest; so she tossed him aside in order to more quickly run to the door.
Shego didn't even bother trying to open the glass door. Instead she melted it with her green fire and leapt through the still steaming frame, stumbling out into the parking lot. She took a deep, shuddering breath. Oh yeah, in with the good air. I just need a minute, and then those henchmen-looking freaks are going to be sorry they messed with me. All… ten of them, she thought, suddenly worried.
Ten uniformed men had assaulted the post office, but only five of them had fought Shego. What had the other five of them been up to? Just as Shego was starting to recover her breath, she got her answer. Another whistle blew and all ten men, plus the coat-wearing presumed gas-dispenser, ran out of the post office. They were headed for the street, and Shego could see that one of them was carrying a package about the size of a small microwave in his arms, canceled stamps visible on its surface. They weren't here for me, they were here to steal something from the post office, Shego realized.
There was of course, the faint possibility that the box did not contain the vital components that Drakken had been waiting on, but it was faint enough that Shego wouldn't have bet a wooden nickel on it. Despite not feeling 100, she ran towards the men, determined not to let what was probably her mission objective get away.
They saw her coming and formed up to protect the one carrying the package, but it was futile. With a kick, Shego swept two out of the way. The punch that followed knocked another to the ground, and her path was clear. Her fist blazing with green energy, Shego launched an attack straight at the man, only to have him raise the package as a shield in an attempt to protect himself.
Shego's fist could probably have gone right through the box, but doing that might have damaged the components she was trying to retrieve. She was forced to pull her punch, throwing herself off-balance at exactly the same time one of the other troops hit her from behind. The attack knocked her to her knees, and the package holder jumped away. Shego tried to grab him, but succeeded only in snagging a piece of paper hanging halfway out of his uniform pocket.
By the time Shego got to her feet, the troops had all piled into an unmarked white van across the street. As it pulled away she shot a last, desperate bolt of plasma, trying to destroy the van's wheels. Precision aiming of her plasma at long distances was tough even at the best of times, though, and she only succeeded in carving a long and ugly gash down the side of the van's paneling. Then it was gone, accelerating down the street.
Shego rushed back to her motorcycle and jumped on board, intending to give chase. She suddenly realized, though, that it felt a little funny underneath her weight. Looking down, Shego realized this was because someone had slashed both of her tires.
"Oh, they're going to pay," said Shego, seething. "After I'm through with them, the sight of them is going to scare little children." She abruptly realized she was talking to herself and shut up.
A crumpling noise from her clenched fist reminded Shego of the paper she had snatched. It was a copy of the information from her own postal notice, removing the last shred of doubt that she had just failed in her mission to retrieve Drakken's components.
For a moment Shego floundered helplessly, not sure what to next. I could… No, I should… Maybe I could chase them… on foot? No, that's not going to work. There's only one thing I can do. Sigh. I'm going to have to call Dr. Drakken, thought Shego.
She flipped open her phone and hit Drakken's number. It rang four times and Shego was just beginning to wonder if Drakken was still in the grip of his hallucinogenic compound when the line finally picked up. "Yes Shego, what is it?" said Drakken's voice. He sounded tired and as if his throat was a bit raw.
"Bad news, Dr. Drakken. A team of uniformed goons just assaulted the post office. Hit me with some sort of gas and some of them kept me busy while the others grabbed your package. They just now piled into a van and drove away. My ride is shot, so I can't chase them," said Shego.
"What! They have the parts for Project Firebreak? Hold on a moment, I need to pinch myself to make sure this isn't another fear-hallucination," said Drakken. There was a pause and then a yelp of pain from the other end of the line.
"Not a hallucination," said Shego.
"No," replied Drakken. "Shego, they can't be allowed to get away with those parts! Let me see, what to do, what to do. We could look for them using one of the hover cars."
"Look for a plain white van from the air? Needle, haystack. Try again," said Shego.
"Then I'll create an army of mutant dogs and unleash them on the streets of Las Angeles to chase down those who have wronged us. I've never really done anything big in LA, you know," said Drakken.
"Oh, I know," said Shego. "But it's still a stupid plan. Try again."
There was a long silence from the other end as Drakken considered. Finally he said, "Well then why don't you call the police on them? They did just rob the post office, after all. I can track the police band frequencies and when we hear they've been located, you and I can swoop in and get back my components."
"That's…." Shego concentrated, trying to find the stupid. Surprisingly, she couldn't. "That's not a bad idea, actually. I did manage to tag the side of their van, so they'll be easy to ID. All right, I'll call this in and then wait at the Smarty-Mart down the street. You can pick me up from there."
"I'll do that," said Drakken. He then hung up without any further ranting.
As Shego dialed 911, she reflected that Drakken hadn't said a single word in reproach for her failure to stop the thieves. For all his faults, he at least had genuine faith in her abilities. It was one of the reasons she put up with all his faults.
Pretending to be a frightened postal customer, Shego told the police operator about the robbery and how the white van was marked. With any luck, soon hundreds of police would be on the look-out for just such a van. Then she retreated down the street to await pick-up.
Drakken hung up his phone. His hair was still a bit wild and mussed from his earlier thrashing about in the grips of terrible hallucinations, and one of his gloves had gone missing. I don't feel up to a fight right now. Still, Shego will do the heavy lifting and with any luck I can just stay in the hover car, he thought.
I suppose I'm fortunate that I experienced the flaw in my new security plan before I coated too many of my things with that stuff, but that still has to go on my list of ten most unpleasant experiences. I'll just have Malcom sell the formula and be done with it, thought Drakken idly. He realized that he was dwelling on his 'bad trip' of a morning to distract himself from thinking about the impending problems with Project Firebreak.
Hands clutched together behind his back, Drakken walked across the lab to where a glowing machine sat. It was the size of a washer and dryer stacked atop each other, and most of its top half was taken up by a dome of black glass that was illuminated by glowing components within. Drakken tapped the glass gently. "Not today, baby," he said. With that, he flipped a switch that turned the machine's power off. This had the effect of shutting off the interior lights and making the black glass into a reflective surface.
In the reflection, Drakken saw a ninja standing behind him, about to prick his neck with some sort of needle.
"Yaaahhh!" screamed Drakken as he spun around, swinging wildly. The ninja jumped back a few feet, easily avoiding Drakken's clumsy swings.
Drakken's immediate label of the man as a 'ninja' had a reasonable basis in fact. The ninja was wearing the same recognizable soft black suit with mask covering the lower face that Drakken saw on those infrequent occasions when he hired ninjas of his own. However, it soon became clear that the ninja had a name, or at least a code name. Raising his left wrist up to his mask, the ninja activated a small radio he was wearing there and spoke into it. "This is Agent Alpha. Move out," he said in English, with a slight Japanese accent.
Agent Alpha returned his attention towards Drakken. "So unfortunate you saw me, Doctor. This could all have been over for you by now." As he spoke, Alpha palmed a throwing needle coated with poison from one of his suit's many hidden pockets.
At this point, Dr. Drakken decided to exercise the better part of valor and ran for it. Alpha threw the needle at Drakken, but the scientist had little exposed flesh to target, and all of it was moving very rapidly. The needle bounced off of Drakken's coat as he vanished into the dim confines of the lab.
After a quick situational analysis, Alpha elected to remain with his primary target over pursuing Drakken. In the distance, the sounds of explosions and fighting could be heard. While he waited for his men to arrive, Alpha unfolded a drawing and studied it carefully.
Very soon a squad of men in purple jumpsuits with pinkish-white stripes down the center entered the room. They formed up in front of Alpha for orders. "Open the bay door and signal our men outside to bring in the forklift," he told them. As they moved to obey, a clanking sound began to approach from the back of the lab.
"My, what a lot of nerve. Do you actually think you can come into my lab and steal from me? From me?" shouted Drakken. He was encased in a large robotic exoskeleton, with the barrel of an enormous laser cannon sticking out from the exoskeleton's right arm. He fired the laser cannon at Agent Alpha.
Alpha dodged easily out of the way, but the shot came very close to hitting the machine he had been guarding. "Fool! You nearly damaged the machine," he said to Drakken.
"Oh boo-hoo. It's my equipment, and I can destroy it if I want to. In fact, maybe I will, just to make sure you don't get to steal it," said Drakken. He aimed his suit's weapon at the machine but didn't fire.
Cursing in Japanese, Alpha leapt straight at the exoskeleton. As he moved, he drew a short-bladed weapon and executed a slicing motion with it, cutting a cable running along the exoskeleton's surface. There was a soft thrum as the suit's laser cannon immediately powered down.
"What are you, some kind of ninja engineer? How did you know how to do that?" griped Drakken. "Well it doesn't matter; I can still hurt you the old-fashioned way!" Saying that, he used one of the exoskeleton's enormous arms to take a swipe at Alpha, who nimbly jumped out of the way.
Alpha's wrist communicator began to ring. As Drakken continued swinging at him, Alpha tried to answer it but couldn't get enough respite to do so. He said to Drakken, "Do you mind? My contract says that I must answer all calls immediately, but you are making it quite impossible."
Drakken folded his robotic exoskeleton's arms up across its chest plate. "Go ahead," he said.
After Alpha clicked the response button on his communicator, a voice issued forth. "Agent Alpha, what is your status? Report."
"Acquisition of the device is underway. I am-" Alpha was interrupted as Drakken started swinging at him again. Alpha leaped into the air to allow the exoskeleton's massive arm to pass underneath him. He pushed off from the arm with his foot, giving him enough momentum to stab his sword directly into the exoskeleton's power supply. Precisely as he struck his target, however, the exoskeleton's other arm hit him with a body-wide blow that sent him flying into a bank of machinery twenty yards away
"I am currently engaged in combat with Dr. Drakken," Alpha finished as he painfully regained his feet.
"What! You were told to remove him from the equation before beginning acquisition operations. I am very disappointed, Alpha. We will have to have a… talk, once you're back at headquarters," said the voice on the other end of the line.
While Alpha was being berated by his employer, Drakken hit the quick-release levers to escape from his now-powerless exoskeleton. Drakken's thoughts were counterbalanced with an equal mixture of anger and fear. While his various lairs had often been invaded by Kim Possible, Drakken had always considered having a hero try to thwart his schemes as part of the normal business of the villain game. It was annoying and frustrating, of course, but not worth his anger. One might just as well get mad at the clouds for releasing a rainstorm. This was different, though. A bunch of sneaky thieves had invaded his home when he hadn't even started putting his plan into motion, and that was intolerable.
On the other side of the equation, Drakken had no idea what the invaders intended for him. The worst he could expect from Kim Possible was a sore head and a quick trip to prison, but who knew what Agent Alpha would do to him? That needle… if it had pricked Drakken's neck, would the poison on it have put Drakken to sleep or would it have killed him? Worst of all, Shego wasn't around to stand between Drakken and the fighting.
The deciding factor, in the end, was Drakken's pride. So instead of running away once free of the exoskeleton, he pulled a compact laser pistol from his shoulder holster and began firing at Alpha. Unfortunately for Drakken, he wasn't a very good shot and Alpha proved remarkably adept at dodging laser-fire.
Alpha decided that his employer's last comment did not call for a response. Instead he occupied himself with Drakken's wild shooting. Alpha estimated that he could dodge Drakken indefinitely with little chance of being hit, but that left two problems. First, 'little chance' was not the same as no chance. Second, having random laser shots being fired in a room full of unknown mad science devices seemed like a dangerous course of action. Accordingly, Alpha acted to end the shooting spree. Tossing out a grappling hook, he snared a set of shelves directly behind Drakken and gave a mighty tug. The shelves fell on their sides, pinning Drakken beneath.
No longer able to see his opponent, Drakken fired at the only thing clearly in his field of vision, the ceiling. The lights and electrical conduits above began to spark and short, and a severed power cable fell to the ground. The power cable hissed and moved with the discharge of live current, sparks setting fire to cluttered papers that had fallen loose from the knocked-over shelves.
Meanwhile, Alpha's troops had successfully picked up the target machine with their forklift and were busy hauling it outside. Alpha observed this. Then he observed that going after Drakken would involve leaping through flames and smoke over a still-live electrical line to confront an opponent who was still armed. The first rule is, stay to fight only when the advantage is yours, he reflected to himself. Then he followed the device that was the core of Project Firebreak out the bay doors and into the truck that waited to carry it away.
Drakken struggled underneath the shelf pinning him to the ground. The smoke was making it harder to breath, and he was forced to try to extricate himself one-handed, since he refused to release his grip on the laser pistol. Finally he was able to wriggle out from underneath and get to his feet. There was no sign of his attackers, though the open bay doors hinted at which way they had gone.
Despite the fire, the sprinkler system hadn't yet been triggered. They must have sabotaged it, was Drakken's first thought. That didn't seem quite right, though. No, no, why would they do that? It must… the electrical conduit I shot up. I must have cut power to the smoke sensors. Testing this theory, Drakken limped his way over to the nearest wall and pulled the fire alarm switch. The hooting of the alarm hurt his ears, but the sprinklers began going, quickly putting out the growing flames.
Irritated, Drakken took a moment to open the alarm panel and cross a few circuits to cut off the siren while leaving the sprinklers running. Then he looked in despair at the near-ruin of his laboratory.
I am going to get back what's mine. First I need to get Shego, though. I don't care to face those fellows again without her, he thought. A plan in mind, he stumbled towards the bay where he kept his hover vehicles.
Shego filed her nails as she waited. There didn't seem to be much else to do, and it calmed her. Still, it was a mark of how on alert she was that she noticed Drakken's hover car when it was no more than a small speck in the sky. By the time it set down in the parking lot of the Smarty-Mart, she had forced herself into a relaxed posture.
Shego had intended to start off the conversation with Drakken by mentioning Professor Dementor's wanted poster in the post office, but catching clear sight of Drakken's condition left her with only one thing to say. "What happened to you, Dr. D?"
Drakken's coat was covered soot and dirt stains, and he was sporting a developing bruise all along one side of his face. His gun holster was unbuttoned, and one of his hands hovered near it. More than that, though, was how completely relieved he looked to see Shego. It made her want to ask who was chasing him.
So she did. "What, is somebody chasing you?"
Drakken leaned in against the car's steering wheel. "The lair was attacked, Shego. It was a bunch of henchman types led by a ninja type. They stole Project Firebreak! I fought them, but I barely escaped with my life."
Shego considered this information. "Henchmen types, huh? Were they wearing purple jumpsuits with a kind of pink stripe down the center? Red sunglasses?"
"Yes, yes, that's it exactly, Shego! How did you know?" said Drakken.
"Duh. The same type of goons were the ones who busted into the post office. No ninjas with my guys, though. Wow, they had pretty good timing, didn't they?" said Shego. She casually began to file her nails again.
"Shego! How can you take this so calmly? The sanctity of my laboratory has been violated. My invention has been stolen. This is horrible," said Drakken. He waved his arms around as he ranted.
"So you mean, just like we always break into other peoples' labs and steal their inventions? Or is this different in some way I'm not seeing?" asked Shego curiously.
"It is different! It's different because… because this time it's happened to me," said Drakken.
"Oooh, of course. How could I not see that?" said Shego sarcastically. She shook her head. "Face it Doc, you've just been used as…. What do you always call it? Outsourcing, right. You've just been used as outsourcing."
Drakken glowered at Shego, a vein in his forehead pulsing.
Shego easily leapt into the cockpit of the hover car and patted Drakken on the shoulder. "Hey now, we'll get your thingie back, don't worry about it. You know, I was mad at first too. All I'm saying is that you have to admire the professionalism of these guys. I wish we could be this slick when we steal a gadget."
Gripping his chin in one hand, Drakken looked off into the distance and considered. "I have to admit, they did show considerable ability. I'll have to tell that to whoever is behind this… just before I destroy everything he's ever loved or valued."
"Now that's the spirit, Dr. Drakken," said Shego. "Let's get going."
Drakken looked at Shego's clothing doubtfully. "Don't you want to change into your uniform first?" he said.
Shego smacked herself in the head. "Oh, right. Hold on a second."
She jumped out of the car and behind a nearby bush. There was a green glow for a second, and then Shego emerged in her usual black and green skintight suit.
She stopped upon seeing Drakken's astonished expression. "What?" Shego said.
"How did you do that? You were only there for one second," said Drakken.
"Trade secret. I've had special training," replied Shego.
"Oh, of course. From when you were a superhero," said Drakken.
Moving very quickly, Shego ran up to Drakken and grabbed his lips. "We don't talk about that, remember?" she said in a dangerously calm voice.
Drakken nodded his head, unable to speak while Shego was holding his lips.
Shego calmly released her employer and took the hover car's passenger seat. Drakken sat down in the pilot's chair and manipulated the controls to lift the car up into the air.
It was at this point that a transmission sounded through the car's police band scanner. A white van, believed to have been used in the post office robbery, had just been spotted and was being pursued.
"We've got them," said Drakken.
Author's Notes:
And here I thought this was going to be a short chapter.
You know what I love about writing Drakken and Shego? Writing them is easy. Heck, I don't even have to write them. Their personalities are so well-defined, I only have to put them in a situation and ask, "What would they say?" and the answer is immediately apparent.
Fight choreography, on the other hand, is tough. The two fights in this chapter probably took as much writing time as the rest of the chapter put together. Still, we're finally getting some of that action I've been promising. I hope I struck the proper balance of "dangerous but still able to make mistakes" for both sides in the conflicts.
Still, this chapter wasn't quite as much fun to write, partially because it was a bridge to some other scenes I wanted to get to. Also partially because I had to have Drakken and Shego be a little more serious and lose some of the funny. Still, there's some good bits coming up that I look forward to writing.
At this point, the reason that Shego is the sidekick and Drakken is the boss should be completely clear to the discerning reader, but I'll lay it all out for you in chapter 5 if you haven't worked it out.
Thanks to Jezrianna2.0, gargoylesama, PoisonousAngel, Eva91, 12345 (), Corencio, and Blackfire18 for comments. No, the identity of the 'mystery villain' isn't supposed to be that much of a mystery, but I'm glad if you enjoyed figuring it out.
That's all for now.