Rings of Promise
Part Three
Martin tossed and turned in his bed, unable to fall asleep. He was still having trouble comprehending what had happened. Andrea wanted him back? He had spent weeks trying to get her back, but she paid him no attention. Now that he had moved on and was happy, she wanted him back? It didn't make sense.
As much as he didn't want to admit it, he still had feelings for Andrea. After all, she was beautiful and nice and funny. They were together for a long time and it would be difficult to just forget about everything. He wished Andrea had come to him about three months ago when he was open. All she was doing now was jeopardizing his relationship with Ruthie.
If anyone had told him that he and Ruthie would be together, he would have laughed. Back then all he and Ruthie were was friends - neither one of them even thought about hooking up. It was ridiculous. For so long they had lived in the same house and acted as siblings.
He wondered if he was making a mistake. Was what he had with Ruthie real? Did he only ask her out because she was willing to be with him? It was extremely hard for him to decipher if he really wanted Ruthie as a person, or if he wanted Ruthie as a girlfriend.
After their date that night, they had almost done something that had the potential to ruin their lives. And Ruthie was two years younger than him, so the risks for her would have been greater. Why were her parents so willing to let them date? Was he really as good of a person as they made him out to be?
"Ugh," Martin sighed, slapping a hand to his forehead. Everything was so complicated.
If he went back with Andrea, he would be happy. Together, they were great. He loved the way her hair felt between his fingers and her smile. When they hung out and did absolutely nothing, he would have the best time. Being with Andrea made him feel on top of the world.
Martin remembered the look on Ruthie's face when she got out of his car. She hadn't believed that he wasn't going to get back together with Andrea. He didn't blame her. It was almost impossible for him to feel how hurt she must have been. To know that he was the one who made her cry those tears was the lowest feeling in the world.
Martin rolled over and tried to sleep. He had school the next morning where he would have to see Ruthie and make a decision. Why was that so hard? Just a few days ago he knew he would do anything for Ruthie, but now what Andrea was back in the picture, he doubted his motives to be with the younger girl.
No matter how hard she tried, Ruthie couldn't rid the image of Martin and Andrea from her tired mind. She had been dwelling on it for days and it was making her crazy. Once again, Ruthie was hiding from Martin, not wanting to talk to him in fear of what he would say. If she didn't talk to him, then she wouldn't have to hear those words that would break her.
Ruthie stood at her locker gathering her textbooks for next period when she heard her name being called down the hall. It was Martin. Quickening her pace, Ruthie got what she needed and slammed the little metal door, her lock clicking after it. Nearly colliding with many students, she managed to stumble into her classroom before Martin could reach her.
She stared a hole in the blackboard until she was sure Martin was gone. Finally, she allowed her muscles to relax and the breath to be expelled from her lungs. It was only a second later when she realized what class this was: history. Sitting right behind her was Joshua, the boy that she had crushed with Martin's lips.
Ruthie couldn't remember the last time she had looked back at him. While she was going out with Martin, she had forgotten all about Josh. She had felt like no one else in the world mattered and now the embarrassment and the tension came flying back and hit her forcefully in the heart. When was the last time she felt this bad? Never.
Things didn't improve when she arrived home that day after a long ride on a rancid-smelling school bus. Her mother was waiting for her and she did not look happy. She had been glaring at a single piece of paper for almost fifteen minutes straight, not believe her eyes. When Ruthie walked through the door, the color rose in Annie's cheeks.
"Ruthie Camden, we need to talk," she started firmly. "Sit down."
Ruthie was confused as she dumped her bag on the floor and flopped down in a kitchen chair. "What's the matter?" she asked.
Annie was indignant. "Were you aware of this?" she demanded, practically shoving the page into Ruthie's hands.
The teenager scanned the page and her eyes widened. They were her progress report grades and they were not good. Ruthie shook her head. "No, I didn't know I was doing so bad."
Annie's eyes narrowed. "Are you serious? Ruthie, you're failing three of your classes that you used to have A's in. What happened?"
Ruthie shrugged. "I don't know," she whispered.
The woman took a breath and calmed herself. When she spoke again, it was in such a tone that chilled Ruthie. "I've already spoken to your father about this. We've both decided that you are grounded for a month."
Ruthie almost jumped out of her chair. "A month! That's so unfair!"
"Really? Well, I don't think that being okay with letting my intelligent daughter, whom I love, be reckless with her schoolwork is fair."
Ruthie rolled her eyes, her jaw tight.
"Honey, this isn't you," Annie said, giving the paper a shake. "You were doing so well. What happened to you?"
Ruthie stood, shouldering her backpack. "Life happened."
Annie watched her ascend the stairs and disappear out of view.
He didn't know how long he stood on her doorstep before she appeared. She smiled when she saw him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"I'm so glad you're here," she said. "Come in."
Andrea stepped aside and allowed Martin to enter the house. It didn't seem as though anyone was home besides her. They were completely alone.
Andrea took a seat on the couch and insisted the he join her. Silence took over then as he gathered what it was he wanted to say.
"I've missed you so much, Martin," she whispered, running a hand over his knee. He watched her fingers as they glided over the fabric of his pants.
He nodded. "I missed you, too."
The grin on her face widened to expose her teeth. She moved over to be closer to him. He could feel the heat of her skin against his. Andrea rested her hand on his shoulder and gently took his ear between her teeth. Shivers ran down the back of his neck, but he didn't push her away. Was this what he was waiting for?
Soon, he and Andrea were locked in a kiss, during which his mind wouldn't shut off. Martin wasn't sure of what he was doing. He couldn't get Ruthie off his mind. No matter what he did, he couldn't get her to talk to him, so he went to someone who would.
"Martin, I'm so glad you came back to me," Andrea said, running her fingers through his short hair. He refused to look her in the eye. He was so lost right then, not knowing what – or who – it was that he wanted. Things with Ruthie were so difficult, but things with Andrea were easy. Maybe he wanted "easy".
"I know," he replied and kissed her again.
Ruthie shut her bedroom door behind her and fell onto her bed. This time, she let the tears come and fall. There was no use in wiping them away. Everything that she used to be – confident, good student, happy – was changed. She had been so wrapped up in Martin that everything else in her life had been ignored. Things were so new and exciting that nothing was as important.
Now, she didn't have Martin, she didn't have the passing grades, and all the confidence she had was gone. She had let having a boyfriend define her. She couldn't even remember what the old Ruthie was like. What had she done before Martin? The idea that she didn't know who she was anymore scared her. Maybe breaking up with Martin was a sign from God to wake up.
Instantly, her sadness turned to anger. Martin had made her question who she was, which made her livid. It was bad enough when she couldn't get a boyfriend in the first place but at least back then she knew what she wanted and wouldn't settle for anything less. Martin was perfect – too perfect. Now that he was gone, it was like everything bad that she thought about herself was true.
Ruthie sighed, letting everything that she had bottled up go. If he didn't want to be with her, fine. She didn't care anymore. She didn't want to care. What Martin did was up to him and she decided that she didn't want to let someone have that much control over her emotions. It wasn't worth it anymore.
Martin pushed Andrea away and took in her startled expression. A sudden feeling of guilt overtook him and he realized that what he was doing wasn't right. He had gone there with a set decision but as soon as he saw her, things changed. It was fun while it lasted, but this wasn't where he belonged.
"Martin, what's the matter?" Andrea asked, her hands still around his neck.
He reached up and grasped her wrist gently and pulled them away from his body. "Andrea, I came here to tell you that I couldn't get back together with you," he explained, refusing to look her in the eye.
"What?" she asked, unable to hide the hurt from her face. "But I thought you missed me."
Martin nodded. "I did, and what we had was great, but it's over."
"But Martin," Andrea pleaded, tears welling in her eyes, "I love you."
He almost laughed out loud. "No, you don't. You just love having a boyfriend."
"That's not true," she disagreed. "Look, Martin, I'll do anything. I want to be with you."
Martin locked his gaze with hers and replied, "Anything?"
Andrea smiled hopefully. "Yes, anything."
He swallowed and nodded slowly. "Just…leave me alone." He stood from the couch and let himself out the front door with Andrea's eyes on his back.
The phone rang shrilly but Ruthie paid it no attention. She knew that Martin would be calling, but she didn't particularly feel like speaking with him. Someone knocked on the door to her room.
"Come in," she said and her mother appeared.
"Martin's on the phone," she announced. "Do you want to talk to him?"
Silently, Ruthie shook her head and began fidgeting with her hands.
Annie smoothed her daughter's hair. "I know you're going through a hard time with him right now, sweetie, but I really think you should talk to him and work things out."
Ruthie didn't reply.
"Please? For me?"
Ruthie glanced up at her mother. "Fine." She reached over to her nightstand and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
Annie took her cue and left the room.
"Ruthie, I know you don't want to talk to me, and I don't blame you," Martin started, "but I just want you to know that I am really sorry. I can't believe that I put you through that."
"You know how much I cared about you, Martin. You know that I would have done anything for you. You know that I wouldn't have even had to think about going with someone else," Ruthie said, struggling to keep her voice even. "I thought that you felt the same way about me. I trusted you. But now…"
"I know, I know. I was insane. But, Ruthie, you make me feel things that I never thought I could feel. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be."
Ruthie twisted the phone cord around her fingers. "But that wasn't enough, was it? I mean, I gave you everything that I could possibly give you. I cared about you more than I cared about myself and because of that, I didn't know who I was." She took a breath. "I just, I can't be with you and be what I was."
The other end was silent for a moment and Ruthie was sure that Martin was trying not to cry. "You can't do this to me, Ruthie. You can't!"
"I'm sorry, Martin."
"But I told Andrea no! I told her no for you!" he yelled. "You're the most important person in the world to me. I don't ever want to be without you. I'm – I love you."
Ruthie's eyes filled and the hot tears spilled down her face. "Good-bye, Martin." She placed the phone back and curled up in a ball on her bed. Messy, body-wrecking sobs crashed through her form and they didn't cease for hours.
Ruthie was working on her homework on a Saturday afternoon when Lucy ventured into her bedroom.
"Hey," Lucy greeted her. "What are you doing?"
"Homework," Ruthie replied without looking up.
"On Saturday?"
Ruthie sighed. "Haven't you heard? I'm grounded for a month."
Lucy nodded. "Oh, yeah. Well, that stinks. You won't be able to see Martin except for at school."
Ruthie's pencil stopped on the page at the mention of Martin's name but she said nothing. "I guess so."
"How's it going with you guys?" Lucy asked innocently as she took a seat on the bed.
Ruthie closed the history book and turned in her chair to face her sister. "It's not. Now, did you need something because I'm kind of busy?"
Lucy looked confused. "What happened? I thought things were going good."
Ruthie shrugged. "They were," she replied. "But then Andrea, Martin's ex-girlfriend, messed everything up."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did he get back together with her or something?" she asked.
Ruthie shook her head. "No, he didn't. He told me that he didn't want to be with her anymore."
"Then, what's the problem?" Lucy asked.
Ruthie began busying herself with tidying up the surface of her vanity. "I told him that I couldn't be with him anymore because when I'm with him I don't know who I am."
"What do you mean?"
The younger girl turned around. "It's just… Before I was with him, I knew what I stood for, you know? I knew what I wanted out of life, I knew who I was. But then when he came along, everything was out the window and that scared me."
Lucy nodded. "Oh, yeah. I know what you mean. It was like that for me when I first started dating Kevin. It was scary and new, but exciting."
"Yeah, but everything with Andrea made me feel like I couldn't control what happened in my own life. It made me feel so vulnerable and I hate that. I hate crying over guys." Ruthie went over to the bed and took a seat next to Lucy. "He said he loved me."
"Wow," Lucy gasped. "What'd you say?"
"Nothing. I said 'good-bye' and I hung up."
"Oh. Well…do you love him too?" Lucy asked.
Ruthie was quiet for a moment. "I don't know. But I care about him so much, you know? I just can't believe that it's over."
Lucy put an arm around her sister. "I know. You'll be okay though. You're only sixteen."
"Yeah," Ruthie sighed. "But I'm going to miss him."
Martin held the envelopes in his hands that night, wondering if he was prepared to open them. They were letters from the colleges he had applied for. With a shaking hand he opened all three. He got in to all three. A burst of excitement ran through his blood. He was going to be able to go to the college of his choice and play baseball. Then another thought that wasn't very happy at all crowded his mind: what about Ruthie?
He was going to have to tell Ruthie that he wasn't going to be going to a college that was nearby. In fact, it was halfway across the country. How was she going to handle that? How was he going to handle that?
She might not even care though, Martin thought, remembering that Ruthie had broken up with him a few days ago. It still hadn't hit him completely that he and Ruthie weren't together. He never thought that he would ever break up with Ruthie. Hearing those words come out of her mouth had been the hardest thing he had ever had to bare. That was saying something since he would worry every single day for his father's life since he was all the way in Iraq fighting the war.
Martin sighed and sank onto his bed. All feelings of success and happiness had quickly disappeared from his body. He put his head in his hands and tried to think of what he had to do. School would end in about three months and then he would have to start the process of moving over the summer. It was times like these that he wished that he and Ruthie were the same age and dealing with the same issues.
Maybe she was right to break up with him.
An incredibly irritating tapping on her window awoke Ruthie. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and looked out the pane. Martin was standing in her front yard throwing pebbles at her window. She seriously contemplated leaving him out there and going back to sleep. Sighing, she pulled the blanket off of her bed and made her way outside.
"That is so cliché," Ruthie stated, wrapping the blanket around her and sitting on the bench.
Martin shrugged, tossing the small stones to the ground. "Sorry."
"Why are you here?" Ruthie asked tiredly. She still felt uncomfortable being around him this soon after she had broken up with him, but in a way, she was glad he was here.
"I missed you," he replied shortly. "And I couldn't sleep." He let some time pass before he continued. "I wanted to tell you how stupid I think this is. I want to be with you. We are so right for each other, Ruthie."
She nodded, not looking making eye contact. "I know that."
"Then why did you not want to be with me?" he asked.
Ruthie sighed and thought back to her conversation with Lucy. "Because…I was scared."
"Of what?"
"Of not knowing what was going to happen. Of feeling like I had no control over what happened to me. Of being so close to you," she explained.
"But why, Ruthie? Our relationship was so exciting and so good. You know that I wouldn't let anything happen to you."
"Martin, we almost had sex. I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty scary."
He nodded. "That was stupid, and I'm happy we didn't. But we had something between us that was so powerful and passionate. I'm afraid that if I'm not with you, I won't truly be happy knowing what my life could have been like."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Maybe this is stupid. You know, what? I'm sorry I even said anything. I want to be your girlfriend again."
A huge grin appeared on Martin's face. "I know we still have a lot of things to talk about, but I'm glad I have you by my side."
Ruthie smiled and threw some of her blanket around Martin's shoulders. "I'll always be by your side." She laid her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat as they sat there in silence, watching the stars in the midnight sky.
After a while, Martin spoke again softly. "There's something else that I needed to talk to you about, Ruthie."
"What is it?" she asked, not moving her head from its spot.
"I got reply letters from the colleges that I applied to today and they all accepted me," he said.
"That's great. Where are you going to go?" she asked.
"Waylington," he replied shortly, waiting for her reaction.
Her breath caught and she sat up straight. "But that's all the way in Virginia."
"I know, but they have a great baseball program there and that's why I'm going," Martin explained.
"I'm never going to see you."
"We can write a lot. And I'll call you every day and every night."
Ruthie felt tears prick behind her eyes. "And you have to come home every break and summer."
"Of course." Martin engaged Ruthie in a short kiss before he pulled her close again.
"When do you leave?" she asked.
"Not until this summer sometime. I only just got the letters today and I still have to talk things over with my dad. Nothing's official yet so we still have time."
"I'm going to miss you so much," Ruthie said softly as Martin ran his hand through her hair.
"Me too."
Silence had fallen once again, but this time only for a few moments.
"Martin?" Ruthie whispered.
"Yes?"
"I love you, too."
Three months had passed and Ruthie had spent as much time with Martin as possible. It was Martin's last day in Glenoak and Ruthie had gone with him and his father to the airport. Everyone else had said goodbye at the house. Martin's father had gone off to verify one thing or another while the couple said their own goodbyes.
Martin reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.
"What's this?" Ruthie asked as Martin handed it to her. She opened it and the familiar ring was exposed. She smiled.
"It's the promise ring you picked out a long time ago. I want you to have it."
"Thank you so much. I love it," Ruthie said as Martin slipped it onto her left ring finger.
Martin brushed a stray hair out of Ruthie's face and kissed her. "I'm really going to miss you."
Ruthie put her arms around Martin and held him until his gate was announced. He wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her one final time.
"I love you, Ruthie," he whispered in her ear.
"I love you, too."
Martin slung his bag over his shoulder. "I'll come back for you," he said with a smile.
Ruthie nodded and grinned sadly. "I'll be waiting."
THE END
A/N: So, that's the end. Thanks to all of you who reviewed and kept me going.:) I hope you really enjoyed this story.
Also, I just wanted to add that "Waylington College" is fictional to the extent of my knowledge. Thanks again.