Chapter 2
Boys and Girls - By Kloudy Reignfall
Warning: Story may contain the following: Shounen-ai, ugly people, peanuts, vague (or not so vague) references to Gravitation, OOC-ness of many people, idiots, cross dressing, vampirism, sex lessons, and much more!
Disclaimer: I don't own a damned thing. I do not own DNAngel, Gravitation, or anything else that might be of any value whatsoever. Damn. :Sob:
Warning #2: I don't really know how funny or interesting this is going to be, I just wrote it on a whim. Usually the first chapters are better for me, but hey, I thought I'd try my luck at continuing it, since the other one amused me so.
Warning #3: It's still rated PG-13 (although I think that's a stupid name for a rating. Ha, like a person under 13 who wants to read this is really going to have their mom sit by and read it with them. Hahaha!) but there's a little bit of sex talk toward the end. If you think I should change it to R, please tell me.
Reviews are praised, flames are accepted (laughed at, chewed up, and flushed down the toilet teehee! Ah the memories), and emails or what have you are great too. Lalala, on with the show!
Chapter 2
(Daisuke's house) Daisuke POV
I was just sitting in my room, minding my own business and being OOC.
My colored-pencils were spilled all over the desk and most of them were falling on the floor but I didn't care. I was only using the blue and red anyway, pouring intently over my manga and scribbling between the inked lines.
"La de da," I sang as I happily colored Yuki's hair blue, totally not acting like myself.
I was picking up the red pencil and starting on Shuichi when my mom knocked.
"Uh, um, hold on a minute!" I stared at page 125 a minute longer, trying to ingrain the image of the sexy bi-shounen in a lip lock.
But my mom doesn't care about privacy (note to self - lock door when showering.) and she just walked in like she owned the place! Parents these days, I tell ya.
She looked down at my work of art. Wrinkled her face in confusion. "…Since when does Yuki have blue hair? (And why do I know anything about manga?)"
I sit on the book. "He…he, um, got a dye job…!"
Blink.
"…Okay…" She rolls her eyes. "Anyway, Dai, sweetie, the phone is for you."
"Who is it?"
Mom shrugs. "I don't know. I didn't ask. I don't like to be nosy." She hands the phone to me.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Daisuke. It's Satoshi."
Oh my God! It's him! He's calling me:Squeals like a Fan-girl:
I try to stay calm. Whew. Breathe, Daisuke, breath. :Deep breathe: "Hi, Satoshi." Whew, I did it!
Satoshi talked some more. "Anyway, I called because…" He couldn't seem to get it out. :Sigh: As sexy as Satoshi was, he could be so slow sometimes!
…You didn't hear me say that.
He finally found the words. "I…I have something that I need to tell you."
"I'm listening." Boy, was I listening. God, I could talk to Sato-kun for hours on end! His voice was like heaven.
…You didn't hear me say that.
"Well…I…I have to tell you…to tell you that…"
Get on with it, Sato! I hope he didn't think being sexy would make me forgive him for being so OOC and taking my role as stuttering idiot!
"Well, Dai-chan, I'm getting ma-"
:Beep:
Hey, that's the other line. "Hang on, Sato. I have another call!"
I switched the line over to find that it was my best friend, Takeshi.
"Hey, Dai," he said casually. "I'm bored. Want to go to the mall?"
"Yeah, sure. I've been dying to get out of the house!"
"Okay," said the voice on the other side. "See ya soon!"
I switched it back to Satoshi's line, but it just beeped at me, the stupid thing. He must have hung up. So I changed and went to wait for Takeshi.
(Back at Satoshi's place.)
Heather: Finds Satoshi huddled in the closet.: "Hey, Sexy! What are you doing in there? Talking on the phone?" :Grabs phone and hangs up, causing Satoshi to well up with tears.:
Satoshi: Sniff: "What did you do that for! I was having a very important conversation!" Yeah, so important that he put me on hold. :Sob:
Heather: "Oh, gee. I'm so-o-o-o-o sorry!" ß Sense the sarcasm. "Just come out of the closet already!"
Satoshi: Starts wailing.: "I already told you I'm gay! Stop making fun of me, blondee!"
Heather: Stares stupidly.: "I meant 'come out of the closet' like 'stop hiding behind the coats and come out here like a civilized person'!" :Stops for a minute. Thinks.: (ß It looks painful.) "And, I represent that remark!" she says indignantly.
Satoshi: Raises his eyebrows as he steps into his room.: "Don't you mean you resent that remark?"
Heather: … "Hey! I'm blonde, not stupid!"
Satoshi: Makes a face.:
Heather: "Anyway, we have our wedding to get ready for, remember?"
Satoshi: Blinks, eyes wide: "What! When?"
Heather: "Today, silly! Don't you remember? We're getting married tonight at the Azumano chapel!"
Satoshi: Faints.:
(At the mall with Daisuke and Takeshi) Takeshi POV
"Ooh, this is pretty!" My redheaded friend was staring wide-eyed at a shiny diamond ring.
I sighed. "I swear, sometimes you are just like a raccoon. Or like Dark."
He wasn't listening to me though. "Ooh, shiny…"
I took him by the collar and dragged him away from the expensive jewelry. "C'mon. You'll never be able to afford that, dork."
"I know," he said, "but maybe I could…" His eyes wandered away from me, but instead of looking at his shiny precious, he looked to the big-screen TV hanging in the mall food court.
The reporter on it was standing outside a huge chapel amid a crowd of excited people.
"I'm standing here outside the Azumano Chapel, where we are about to witness the most anticipated marriage of the month! Satoshi Hiwatari, one of Japan's favorite Bi-Shounen, second only to the infamous Dark Mousy, is about to be joined in holy matrimony with Heather Smith, a beautiful blonde from America. (She is a Virgo, and likes walks on the beach after a candle-lit dinner!) As you can see, many fans are very excited! Let's talk to some of them!"
The reporter held a microphone up to a group of rabid fan girls. "OMG!" One of them screamed. "I can't believe he's getting married! That's, like, so-o-o-o-o OOC of him! And I'm a boppy fan girl. I can't even tell if I'm happy or angry!" The girl began to cry loudly. The reporter rolled her eyes and backed away slowly. "Right, so let's find someone else to talk to." She pushed through the crowd to look for others.
But then Dai turned away. He had a shocked and/or hurt look on his face. And, um, then he fainted.
Ouch! That had to hurt! He landed his head on the sharp edge of one of those random, pointless pillars that are all over the food court. He regained consciousness as soon as bone and concrete made contact and screamed loudly in pain as his hair turned sticky with blood. (Although you could hardly tell since it was all the same color. There are uses for such strange colored hair!)
I looked at Daisuke while he sniffled. "Want me to kiss it better?" I asked. He nodded, his lower lip trembling. I pecked him on top of the head and licked some of the sweet blood from the crimson strands. It was intoxicating, and the liquidy substance tasted slightly of copper. I breathed it in, craving the… what? Oh, sorry. Got a little carried away there. :Erhem:
So, then Daisuke started to cry, not being really OOC anymore, since this is totally something he would really do. I tried to ask him what was the matter, but he just jabbed his finger up at the big screen. I looked and found it still on the news channel about the Hiwatari wedding. At the moment, the news reporter was talking to some older guy, the kind that looked like those internet perverts you always hear about.
"Yeah, I know the groom," he was saying, but not looking too pleased. "And I can't let him do this! It is the mistake of his life!"
"Yeah?" asked the reporter. "And why is that?"
"Because he and I were destined to be together!"
At this, Daisuke started balling again.
I looked at the screen once again, and this time the reporter lady was talking to the camera. "There's been a rumor going around that Satoshi Hiwatari does indeed have another lover. Of course the rumor was started by his fiancé so we don't know if what we heard was the truth, or perhaps just the outcome of a lover's spat."
I turned to Daisuke yet again, puzzled. His eyes were all big and watery, like the crazy fangirls you see in anime. "What's wrong, Dai?" I asked him.
He gaped at me wordlessly, making funny gestures, like he wanted to play charades. He pointed to the TV again.
"TV?" I asked. He shook his head. "The news?" Shake head. "Weddings?" Nope. "Hiwatari?" He nodded fervently then pointed at himself. "You?" He nodded. "You, you what? You are Hiwatari?" No! "You wanna marry his fiancé?" No, no, definitely no! Then he squinted at me through a little heart shape made with his hands, then covered his face shyly, peeking out from between his fingers.
"Oh, I got it! You're Satoshi Hiwatari's secret lover! Yay for me, I figured it out!" Wow, I felt so smart. Daisuke nodded timidly. And then I remembered what I felt so smart for figuring out. "Whoa, you're gay! That's like, weird! Oh my god, you could have raped me so many times!"
Daisuke shook his head at me. "No, I wouldn't do that. I'm the uke."
I raised my eyebrows at him. What the hell was he talking about?
He was mad at my ignorance on the subject. "You mean you live in a wanna-be shounen-ai manga, and you don't even know the terms!" Suddenly he was in a teacher's hat and robes, pointing with a stick at chart that hung in midair. A rather graphic chart. I didn't think I should be looking at it, but at the same time it intrigued me.
"It's okay, you can look," Daisuke told me, matter-of-factly. "It's normal to be curious about such things!" So I sat at the little school desk in front of me while he gave the lesson.
"This-" he said, pointing at the chart in general, "What do you think this is?"
"Um, I think it's something that should be done in the privacy of your own home, unless you're both really hot."
He shook his head. Oops, wrong answer. "This is a chart of two guys. What are they doing, Takeshi?"
"Um… Wrestling?"
"No! They are having xxx, Takeshi!"
"Oooh!" I took out my Hello-Kitty binder and started to take notes.
Daisuke then pointed to the man… um, on top. "This is called the Seme. What the Seme does, is he takes his xxxx and puts it in the other man's xxxx."
"Oh, I get it now!" Yeah, it was all starting to make sense.
"And this," he pointed at the man on the bottom, "is the Uke. He's usually the more girly one in the relationship, and is usually shy or submissive. See, I'm an Uke so you don't have to worry about me trying anything with you."
"Okay!" I was feeling a little better about it now that I was informed. But I had another question. "But Sensei, how do you, ya know, get yours?"
I think he was about to go into detail about how gratifying it actually was to be the uke, but he kept to a simple answer. "Well, usually at the beginning, he xxxxx and xxxxx my xxxx, or just xxxxx with it until I xxxx. Sometimes he waits until the middle or the end, but that's really mean."
"Oh, alright. But one more question: Why does it bleep out your naughty words, but not mine?"
He cocked his head to the side. "Oh, it doesn't?"
I shook my head knowingly. "Nope. Look: Sex. Sex, sex, sex. Nothin'."
Daisuke shrugged. "Gee, I dunno."
We both stood there thinking for a moment. (The chart, desk, and teacher's robes/ hat had all disappeared.) Then Daisuke gasped.
"Oh my god! Satoshi's getting married! I have to stop him!"
"You're right, let's go!" I said, being uncharacteristically concerned for my uncharacteristically gay best friend's uncharacteristic relationship. And with that, we ran off into the sunset.
Actually we ran off toward the mall exit, almost got caught by the pudgy mall security, managed to escape, and hailed a cab to take us to Azumano Chapel.
End Chapter 2
To be continued! (Probably)
By the way, sorry for all of you who liked Heather since she's hardly in here at all.
Ah, wow the end. I actually finished it. Which I think it pretty good since I wasn't spending any real time. So, by the way, thank you so-o-o-o-o much to all my reviewers! (Although it was kind of depressing that my piece-of-crap random dnangel fic gets more reviews than the ones I actually try to work on to make good. But, hey that's life, isn't it?) I will love you forever in a non-creepy way if you guys all review!
I'm so sorry if I can't update for a long while. I am just so busy with school and life and adjusting to stuff. (And my other stories.)
PS: Shameless Advertising: Feel free to read any of my other pieces of crap (aka stories) if you'd like. :hint hint:
PPS: I hate this site for not letting us use asterisks! I want my little stars!