I sighed heavy and said, "Sure…go for it." Jamie smiled and said, "Vince would like you to come back to the wrestling tour and be the tours travel doctor." I said, "Absolutely not." Jamie said, "Oh c'mon Sami…we'd be able to travel together again…and shopping and having fun…you'd get to see all the guys again…there are a few that miss you to pieces…like Matt and Jeff (Hardy) and Amy (Lita)…they miss the club hopping they did with you."
I said, "Jamie don't give me that look…I have a new life for myself now…and it was so worth me leaving my old one behind…the only thing I didn't leave behind was you…you're my best friend and have been for the last 19 almost 20 years…but I can't go back to that life, always on the road…someone always getting hurt."
Jamie said, "When you say hurt, are you talking physical or emotional?"
I said, "That's low…you know what I mean." Jamie said, "You know when you left Mark and the tour 2 years ago…you left me also…the next time I saw you was at my wedding…I don't want to lose the only best friend I had my whole life...and that's exactly what's happening…I'm still losing you even with you sitting right across the table from me."
I said, "Jamie don't do this too me…My life is different, I look at things so much more differently then I used to…I have this incredible job where I love my patients and they love me back…I wasn't given a choice 2 years ago, it was either leave or be hurt…and I choose the first option…I had to save myself and my heart from being trampled…I couldn't just let someone who I was clearly in love with hurt me, cause he clearly was not in love with me…"
Jamie said, "Can you at least think about it…the tour isn't leaving for 2 weeks…just please think about it…" I said, "Oh…alright…I hate it when you get to me like that." Jamie smiled and said, "I knew I could suck you in if I cried." We were both whipping tears away from our eyes…and I said, "You're such a sneak." Jamie laughed and said, "You always was a sucker for tears…what do you do when your little patients cry?" I said, "Try not to cry along with them."
Jamie said, "So when are you going to get married and have a baby or two?" I said, "Get real little momma…I would like to find a guy who I can see myself loving the rest of my life, before I go trying to lasso him into marriage and pregnancy. Ah, get real…of course if I got pregnant first, then I'd have no use for the guy anymore…Cause marriage and relationships, just fucks everything up…but a baby would be something great…they have day care at the hospital…and I could go see him or her on my breaks…it would be a great way to bond together…I think getting married would just spoil it…"
Jamie said, "C'mon, marriage didn't spoil me and Glenn…and were having a baby too…I wanted it all…I got it all." I said, "Yea, lucky you…See marriage suits you…and so will mommyhood…but I don't think I could ever see myself falling in love with a guy long enough to want to marry him." Jamie said, "What about Mark?"
I said, "What about Mark?" She said, "There was a time when you could have seen yourself with him the rest of your life…" I said, "He didn't want me…he didn't need me either…he had Sara and the memories she left with him…that was enough for him…it just wasn't enough for me…I wanted something he couldn't give me…that's just the way it had to be…"