Thanks so much for the reviews! This chapter has taken me ages to get right! I had to copy and paste and cut so many things to get it right! It's also quite long! Anyways enjoy!
Chapter 17 – Falling away with you
It seemed like every girl in Hogwarts was nervous but excited. It was only a week until the ball, one week till Christmas. Although Rachel was nervous for a different reason. She dreaded seeing Megan's innocent face again. When every other girl in school only had to worry about their dress and make up, Rachel had songs to organize and music to find, school work to catch up on, Megan returning and her diet plan. To Rachel, it didn't feel like Christmas.
Although, when she felt all these things come on top of her, she thought about Sirius and how he had asked her to the ball. When he did it, it hadn't sunk into Rachel that she was actually going to a ball. A guy to a ball had asked her for the first time. Sure, it was only as friends, but Rachel couldn't help but get over excited. Now she felt excited about finding her perfect dress and searching for hairstyles.
James had been kept busy with his plans for the ball. He kept telling everyone it was going to be huge! Lily walked in on him one day and stole one of his plan sheets, secretly she was impressed. Feeling sorry for him she told him she would help decorate the great hall. Lily didn't think so little of the ball anymore. She had found a date, a 7th year Hufflepuff boy called Nick Longley. He was extremely good looking with shaggy light brown hair, deep brown eyes and a nice tan. The same couldn't be said for his personality; he was stuck up, cocky, selfish and just plain rude. But Lily didn't seem to care.
It was the last weekend before the ball. Lily, Riley, Rachel and Ashley had agreed to spend some time in Hogsmade buying their dresses and Christmas shopping. The girls had chosen the worst time to buy their dresses. It was heavily snowing and freezing cold. Not many people could be seen out. It felt like they were the only people in Hogsmade.
Lily had decided they had better be quick. Quick wasn't in Riley and Rachel's vocabulary. They spent what seemed like day in the dress store. Rachel was over excited about finding the perfect dress; it was the first time she would be going to a ball with a boy. Finally both girls were happy with their choice. Once the girls walked back onto the deserted street, the weather had only got worse. It was heavily raining and it felt depressing. They all needed to get Christmas shopping and decided to split up, and meet back at the castle later. What was the bet Riley or Rachel would turn up last?
Rachel didn't mind the weather so much. She stumbled down the lonely streets of Hogsmade, not too sure where exactly she was heading. She had already gotten Riley a necklace she had caught her eyeing. She had brought Lily a nice quill and she had got Ashley a new perfume she thought she would like. She was pondering whom else she had to buy for.
The marauders, she thought. James was the hardest person imaginable to buy for. Remus loved whatever he was given, as did Peter, as for Sirius, Rachel didn't know what to get him. Rachel's mind wandered, as it usually did to Sirius. He would be too hooked in Megan to care about what Rachel brought him for Christmas. Rachel stood, looking stupid in the middle of Hogsmade. She was absolutely freezing and felt damp as the rain pelted down on her. Rachel ran into the closest store and began looking around, trying to keep the Christmas spirit.
Two hours later Rachel emerged from Honeydukes carrying several bags, big and small. She had finally completed her Christmas shopping and had everything she needed for the ball; she couldn't wait. Wondering if her friends had returned to Hogwarts, Rachel decided to head back to the castle.
The snow had covered her jeans and brown hoddie then the rain had made it soaking wet. Overall Rachel looked like a drown rat! Not letting her fowl appearance get the better of her, Rachel merrily walked up to the castle. She couldn't wait to give everyone their presents on Christmas day.
It was only four O clock when Rachel got to the entrance hall doors. She hoped to find Sirius and spend some time with him. She hadn't seen him properly since he had asked her to the ball. Rachel thought it was pretty rude. Rachel pushed opened the doors with one hand, the other hand full of bags. Before looking up, she arranged the bags so each arm was carrying an even amount of weight. She was still covered in snow and soaked in rain. Rachel finally looked up.
As soon as she looked up, she wished she hadn't. It was something that would stay in her memory for a long time. Something she wouldn't forget easily, something painful that broke her already precious heart in two. She had returned, and off course the person waiting for her had to be him.
Rachel stood in silence as she saw Megan draped in Sirius's arms. It wasn't the type of hug Suzy used to give; it was a hug of serious feelings. Megan was sobbing in Sirius's arms and Sirius was stroking her strawberry blonde hair.
Rachel croaked quietly, trying to keep her tears inside her, she didn't want to make another fuss. But she couldn't help it. Sirius was hugging Megan exactly like he had hugged her that time in the great hall. Rachel felt like the great feeling of that hug was being sucked out of her, like Megan had taken it from her.
From where Rachel was standing, it didn't look like Megan had changed at all. Her hair was exactly the same, still strawberry blonde and reaching down to her waist and she hadn't put on any weight, pity, Rachel thought.
Another croak escaped Rachel's mouth, this time it was much louder. Megan and Sirius fell apart and looked to see who had croaked like a sad frog. Sirius's eyes looked shocked as he saw Rachel standing there. Her whole face was already ruined from the rain; the eye make up Riley insisted Rachel wore had already begun running down her face. Rachel was soaking, covered in snow and had tears streaming down her face. She didn't know why she was crying, she knew once Megan returned her and Sirius would spend as much time together as possible, hug and kiss in public etc. Megan looked exactly like Sirius did, wide eyed and shocked.
Rachel couldn't take them both steering at her like she was crazy. She wasn't mad at Sirius, she wasn't mad at all, she was just upset, it had come as a bit of a shock. She took a firm grasp on her bags and as fast as she possibly could without running walked past Sirius and Megan, up the nearest staircase.
"What was that about?" Megan asked sweetly
Sirius shook his head. "I don't know." Sirius said taking Megan's hands. "You remember Rach don't you?"
Megan smiled. "How could anyone forget Rach Potter?"
Sirius smiled. "I'm so glad your back!" he said giving her another hug.
Rachel stormed up more stairs; somehow she had managed to get to the fat ladies portrait. She was now mad, but not with Sirius, or even Megan, but with herself. She had done it again, she let her emotions get in the way and she was acting like a huge drama queen. As much as she was mad at herself, she was pissed to see Megan back. She was the girl who got away with everything, from detentions to cheating on her boyfriends, she seemed like she had no bad traits, but it wasn't until you got to know her that you found she was one of the snottiest, fussiest, rudest, meanest, girls out there.
Rachel yelled the password to the fat lady who jumped back in her portrait in shock and quickly opened. Rachel's spirits didn't rise when she saw the commonroom packed. Lily, Riley and Ashley were sitting in the chairs next to the fire. They saw Rachel arrive and instantly smiled, then quickly frowned when they all saw her face.
They weren't the only people to see her face. Gasps filled the room, Rachel felt like every pair of eyes was upon her, again for the wrong reasons, among this crowd were James, Remus and Peter. Rachel couldn't bear explaining to James at the current time, she couldn't even explain to herself why she was so upset.
Instead she ignored James's continuous yells and ran up to her dorm, aware of everyone was watching.
Lily, Riley and Ashley pelted up the stairs straight up after Rachel.
As soon as Rachel ran into her dorm she collapsed on her bed and sobbed into her pillow. She felt incredibly stupid, but all she wanted to do was cry, let it all out.
"What happened?" Riley yelled as she ran into the dorm.
Rachel didn't know where to begin, she felt stupid for making a big deal about nothing, and she knew to no one else it was a big deal, but it had somehow hit her in a strong way.
"She's back!" Rachel yelled from her bed.
"Who sweetie?" Lily asked softly taking a seat on Rachel's bed. But it wasn't Rachel who answered it was Riley.
"Don't tell me its Megan!" Riley yelled.
Rachel nodded furiously, still her head down in her pillows.
"Megan?" Lily asked confused. "Megan as in Sirius's Megan?"
Rachel sobbed louder as Lily said this. But she was right; Megan had always been referred to as 'Sirius's'
"Do we know any other Megan's?" Riley snapped.
"What did she do?" Ashley asked.
Rachel looked up and at her friends. She was sure her friends were thinking she looked horrible with a half black face. Rachel didn't know where to begin explaining that she hadn't really done anything, but hoping they would understand Rachel told them how she felt when she ran into her and Sirius hugging.
"Oh sweetie," Lily said hugging Rachel once she had finished telling what happened. "I understand completely."
"Yeah, I understand too." Ashley said supportively.
"Same," Riley said. "But I think you have to talk to Sirius."
Rachel nodded. "Yes I know. But not tonight, there will probably be a huge party in the commonroom for my dear friend Megan!"
The girls laughed. "I never really liked her." Ashley said truthfully.
"Well it's no secret that I hate her!" Riley said proudly.
Rachel snorted. "Do you guys remember what she kept on saying to me before she left?" Rachel asked.
Lily and Ashley shook their heads but Riley nodded. "She said 'if you lost a tone of weight, did something with your hair, got some fashion sense and got rid of your eyes you might actually resemble a Potter, but for the time being, I suit being a Potter for than you.' That was sick." Riley said seriously.
"Aw I remember that now," Lily said sadly. "She was horrible."
Rachel nodded, remembering all the times she had repeated that to her, in front of different people. Megan had yelled it in front of teachers, students and she was even stupid enough to yell it in front of James, who didn't take it well. "I get tormented because of my appearance. How fair is that?" Rachel said.
Riley opened her mouth but Rachel carried on talking, feeling the need to rant. "If people took the opportunity to know me they would find that im a nice enough person, but no, they have to judge my by what I look like."
No one knew what to say. Finally Lily thought of something to say that inspired Rachel.
"Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't stop asking questions if you still want to know, and don't say you don't love him if you cant let him go." Lily said firmly. It sounded completely out of place. She grabbed her wand and muttered a spell. Instantly Rachel's mascara and black face disappeared, but her tears remained.
Rachel finally understood. Without another word she got up and walked right out of the dorm again. She wasn't surprised to see Sirius at the bottom of the steps; Rachel was even more to see that Megan wasn't with her.
As soon as Rachel got to the bottom of the stairs, Sirius grabbed her hand and led her up to the boy's dorm. If anyone had seen, they would have surely gotten the wrong idea. Sirius didn't bother going into his dorm, he just wanted to talk to Rachel.
"Dam stairs wouldn't let me up!" Sirius muttered as he led Rachel further up the stairs. Rachel stiffed a smile.
"Are you ok?" Sirius asked sounding sincere stopping outside the seventh year dorms.
Rachel wanted to say yes. Instead she just nodded her head.
"No your not," Sirius said at once. "Come on Rach, I know you, what happened?"
Rachel so far had said nothing, apart nod her head. "Are you back together with Megan?" Rachel said ignoring Sirius's question.
Sirius sighed. "Rach, don't worry about Megan right now."
"Are you or not?" Rachel said wanting to know, remembering what Lily had said.
Sirius gave in. "Yes I am."
Rachel felt like she had been hit in the gut. But she wasn't surprised. She knew they would get back together and she would never admit it but they did make an ok couple. "Im happy for you." Rachel said not sounding happy for him at all.
Sirius ignored her. "What happened to you? Im worried about you."
Rachel smiled. "I was surprised."
"About Megan?"
Rachel nodded. "Im sorry," Rachel said sincerely. She was sorry for making Sirius worry. "I hope you two are happy."
"But are you happy?" Sirius asked quietly.
Rachel looked up at him. His eyes were full of concern, confusedness, and worry, Rachel hated to lie. "Why wouldn't I be happy?"
"I was hoping you could tell me."
Rachel sighed. This isn't the right time, she told herself. "I am happy." She lied.
Sirius smiled. He knew Rachel too well to know when she was telling the truth or not. He decided not to push the matter anymore, she would tell him in her own time.
"Ok then," Sirius said turning around. "I have to get back to Megan and the party. See ya Rach."
"Bye." Rachel said watching Sirius leave.
Rachel had hoped Megan would have made her entrance quietly, but no, that was not the case. There was a huge party according to James, who hadn't really enjoyed it, and even Dumbledore gave a speech welcoming Megan back. Rachel thought it was funny how she had arrived one week before Christmas and the ball, why couldn't she have come 1 week after Christmas.
The term had finally ended and it was only three days until Christmas. Rachel had organized what songs she was going to sing. She felt more proud about it now, because she new Megan could also sing well and it was Rachel who was singing for the ball, not her. And as far as Rachel was concerned, she was going to the ball with Megan's boyfriend.
Rachel sat in the library by herself. She was determined to finish as much homework as she could before Christmas. It was late at night. Rachel was sure she would be alone, but someone else was studying in the library and had spotted Rachel.
"Uh can I sit down?" Megan asked politely.
Rachel looked up. Her insides burned like there was a fire monster in her stomach, wanting to jump out and bite Megan. Instead Rachel smiled. "Sure." She said sweetly. This was the first time her and Megan were alone.
"What you doing?" Megan asked pretending to take an interest.
"Potions assignment."
"Oh there nasty!" Megan said.
Rachel smiled, pretending to enjoy Megan's company when all she really wanted was for Megan to return to France. There must have been a reason why Megan came back.
"Uh I was wondering if I could talk to you?" Megan asked confidently.
Rachel looked up from her parchment. "About what?"
"Sirius." Megan replied simply.
Now Rachel was interested. "What about him?"
"I hear your going to the ball with him." Megan said.
Rachel nodded trying to hide her smile. "Yeah he asked me."
Megan sighed. "And we both know why he asked you."
"Excuse me?" Rachel said in a tone her mother would have been proud of.
"Tell me. Are you his friend?"
Rachel nodded.
"Then you will let him go." Megan said.
"What do you mean?" Rachel said pretending to sound clueless when she really knew what was going on.
"This ball. Let him go with me. Sirius and me have a future; the ball would be a perfect start for the both of us. Besides, balls aren't really your type of thing." Megan said.
Rachel tried to keep her expression normal when she was hurting like hell inside. "What do you mean balls aren't really my thing?" Rachel asked.
Megan without any hesitation spoke. "It comes back to what I've told you before, your not a true Potter," Megan said. "Rachel, Im the right girl for Sirius. I can look after him, I love him and he loves me. Let him go."
Rachel said nothing.
"Besides, he only asked you because he thought I wasn't going to be back in time." Megan said.
Rachel blinked a couple of times. She didn't answer straight away. "Don't you think it's a bit sad you asking me to ditch Sirius?"
Megan now looked pissed. "The only sad thing around here is your pathetic crush on him."
Rachel swallowed heavily. "My what?" Rachel asked sounding oblivious.
"Oh come on, I've been here 5 minutes, I can tell Rachel and I can also tell he's not interested. So give him up!" Megan yelled. She gathered her books and stormed out of the library looking like a right spoilt brat leaving Rachel with a lot to think about.
Rachel kept what Megan had said to her to herself. Not being able to put it off any longer she decided to talk to Sirius on the night before Christmas Eve.
Sirius was sitting with the marauders eating dinner. Rachel couldn't believe he wasn't with Megan.
"Hay Rach," James said happily. "Got your songs picked?"
Rachel laughed. "Sure do!" she said not bothering to sit down. "Uh Sirius could I talk to you?"
Sirius without hesitation stood up and followed Rachel to the corner of the great hall.
"They seem to be talking privately a lot these days." James said.
Remus nodded. "Yes, I know."
"What is it?" Sirius asked once Rachel had stopped walking.
Rachel cut to the chase. "Do you really want to go to the ball with me?"
Sirius nodded. "Yeah."
"Or would you rather go with Megan." Rachel asked.
Sirius looked surprised. "I asked you."
"But you didn't think Megan was going to come before Christmas."
"What are you saying?" Sirius asked confused.
"What were you saying when you asked me to the ball?" Rachel shot back.
Sirius sighed. "You know most girls would be thrilled they were going to a ball with me. Your different Miss Potter."
Rachel didn't smile. "I know im different," Rachel said proudly. "Sirius we both know you who you want to go with."
"Yeah, we do. I want to go with you." Sirius asked.
"What about Megan?"
Sirius said nothing. Rachel looked up at him, shocked. "I was right wasn't I? No one in their right mind would ask me to a ball! I look like a fool!"
"Do you want me to ask Megan or something?" Sirius asked confused.
Rachel said nothing.
Sirius suddenly smiled. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous!"
Rachel nearly fell backwards. "NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOU TO BEGIN FLATTERING YOURSELF!" she screamed, sure that everyone nearby could hear you. "Don't kid yourself Sirius," Rachel spat, more quietly, "Have a good time with 'miss O so Perfect.'" Rachel finished walking off.
Once she was sure she was out of sight, Rachel ran, ran as far away as possible. She didn't want to be around anyone, she didn't want to have all the responsibilities she had, she wanted nothing, and the only thing she wanted was something she couldn't have.
Sirius was the only person who could make her ball her eyes out. He was also the many few who were worth it. Rachel hardly ever cried and when she did it was for a good reason.
She didn't even know if Sirius was still going to the ball with her or if Megan was right, he was only going because he didn't think she would come back in time.
Rachel ran up to her dorm. She grabbed her dress she had spent ages picking out. It was beautiful. Rachel was looking so forward to wearing It, to dancing with Sirius in it. Now she had splashed out in a dress she wasn't even going to wear. She felt horrible, now she would have to go to the ball, she couldn't let James down, she would do what she had to do then get out of there, as soon as she possibly could.
The day Rachel dreaded had finally come. It was Christmas Eve, the night of the ball. No one had seen or heard of Rachel all day since breakfast.
James and Lily had spent most of the afternoon decorating the hall. Without Rachel it only took longer. At 6:00 Lily returned to Riley and Ashley's dorm to get ready. Still Rachel hadn't been seen. Lily had asked James if he thought Rachel was going to even go to the ball. James had said she wouldn't pull out on him. Lily didn't know what to think.
"Still no sign of Rach?" Riley asked as Lily came through the door.
"Nope," Lily said pulling out her dress from her closest. "Look and see if her flutes gone."
Riley carefully bent down and looked under Rachel's bed. She could only see a box. Her flute wasn't there. Riley pulled out the box. "The flutes gone. There's only this." Riley said opening the mysterious box.
"Oh my God!" Riley said pulling out several bits of parchment. "It's the letters from Sirius."
Lily and Ashley rushed over and took the box from Riley. "Don't read them!" Lily said quickly.
Riley sighed. "Your right, but Sirius thinks she threw them away."
"Rach will tell him when the times right," Lily muttered. "Right now, let's just get ready."
An hour later Riley, Ashley and Lily emerged into the Gryffindor commonroom, looking equally beautiful. The dress that took Riley hours to pick out was well worth the time. It was a mid length black strapy dress. She had her brown hair done up in an elegant messy bun and her makeup looked close to perfect. Lily had on a full-length green dress that went with her eyes and didn't clash with her hair, which was down and lightly curled. Ashley had a full-length light blue shinny dress with her hair fully straightened.
Ashley and Riley spotted Sam and Remus waiting for them. They rushed over already feeling excited. Lily had agreed to meet Nick at the great hall. She had imagined she would walk down to the great hall with Rachel and Sirius, but Rachel had not been seen since breakfast and she had just seen Sirius walk by with Megan who was wearing the most flattering looking dress Lily had seen. Then it clicked in Lily's mind why Rachel was missing.
Sirius was with Megan. Lily thought angrily and confused. How the hell had that happened? She didn't really care. All she cared about now was where Rachel was and if she was ok. Forgetting completely about Nick, Lily rushed down to the great hall. Her friend was more important than some boy who she hardly knew.
Lily felt incredibly stupid walking around in a flash dress with no partner, but she didn't really care. She ran into the great hall, after telling Professor Mcgonagall she had to finalize something, or else she would have never been allowed through.
Lily rushed behind the stage and knocked on the door leading into a little room she guessed Rachel would be. No one answered. Lily quietly opened the door. The lights were dimly lit. In the middle of the room was Rachel, sitting on a chair. She had on a beautiful dress; it even topped Megan's. Lily wished the happiness the dress showed matched Rachel's face.
"Rach, I know about Sirius and Megan. Im sorry." Lily said closing the door and taking a step into the door.
By now Rachel had stopped crying. "Oh hi Lils." Rachel said yawning.
"Have you been here all day?" Lily asked forgetting about Sirius and Megan for a minute.
Rachel nodded. "Not that anyone cares," Rachel said quietly. "I mean if it was Megan who was missing, the whole castle would be searching for her."
"Rach, you can't compare yourself to Megan." Lily said trying to knock some sense into her friend.
"Lily I cant do this!" Rachel said grabbing her flute and waving it aimlessly in the air.
"Yes you can," Lily said firmly. "Remember what I told you." Lily said.
Rachel nodded. That managed to calm Rachel down. She let go of her emotions, she felt free. The effect of Lily's words had calmed Rachel down, had made her see that once in a while she has to let go.
"Now your going to get out there and sing no one can hear, dance like no ones watching and love like it wont hurt."
Rachel nodded. She could hear from behind the door James talking. Lily and Rachel quickly stood up and walked out of the door. As soon as she opened the door a ray of light made her blinded. Spotlights danced around Rachel making the dress she was wearing appear different colors.
"You look great." Lily said walking away from behind the stage leaving Rachel alone. Rachel steered helplessly at the light pink dress. It was full length with layers at the bottom half, making it come out in a flirty type of way, leaving the top half of the dress fitted and tight. It was decorated with little silver sequences and had a full tie up back. Her hair was down. And Rachel could bet she was the only girl in the ball not wearing makeup. James's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"I'm afraid to say that our live performer is unable to make it."
Shit! Rachel thought. She tightened her grip of her flute and slowly revealed herself from behind the curtain.
"Im here James." Rachel said more confident than she felt. She took a quick glance around the hall. Everyone looked amazing, and here she was with no makeup on.
James spun around quickly and gagged as he saw Rachel. Rachel was sure James; along with nearly everyone else in the hall didn't recognize her. Whatever James was thinking, he kept it well hidden.
"Uh I spoke too soon," James said flustered. "May I introduce Rach Potter."
Rachel blushed as James grabbed her hand and pulled her up the front of the stage. Rachel scanned the crowds more closely she spotted Riley, Ashley, (who both looked relieved to see her) Remus and Matt together near the middle of the hall. She looked directly in the middle of the hall and felt like collapsing as she saw Sirius with his arm around Megan who looked stunning in her deep blue dress. All the nervousness and sickness returned to Rachel. She went weak at the knees as she continued looking at Sirius in his suit and perfect hair. Sirius was looking at her like he had never seen her before, like she was a completely new person. He barely recognized her; he thought she looked like a character from a fairytale, if only he would tell her that.
Rachel turned her head away and now saw that James had left the stage to stand next to Leah and now Dumbledore stood next to Rachel.
"I would like to thank the head boy and girl for organizing this," Dumbledore said. "And off course Miss Potter for some live entertainment. So as always, would the head boy and girl take the stage for the first dance!"
Rachel watched as the crowd headed towards the side as Lily and James found each other on the dance floor. Everyone's eyes were either on Lily and James or Rachel, who felt incredibly stupid. She was sure people thought she was only singing because she didn't have a partner.
Lily tried to smile sincerely as she saw James approach her. He looked incredibly handsome, even his hair, which was still sticking out everywhere. Lily snapped out of her little daydream, as James got closer.
"Good luck." Dumbledore muttered in Rachel's ear as he left Rachel alone on the stage. Rachel remembered what Lily had told her, it was fixed in her mind. Magically a music stand appeared in front of Rachel with music on it. Rachel locked eyes with both Lily and James, her inspiration. She stepped forward; aware every eye was watching her and began to play.
James placed his arms around Lily's waist and pulled her close. Lily put her hand on James's shoulder. They began to dance. A spotlight followed them around the room. Everything was silent apart the beautiful song coming from Rachel's flute. The song was slow and romantic.
As James danced with Lily, he couldn't help but feel whole and full. Whenever he was around Leah he didn't feel like this, he felt empty. Lily made him feel whole, feel right. Everything was so confusing at the moment. James blocked his thought and concentrated on his dancing. The song was dedicated to him and Lily. It seemed so right.
Lily kept her hand around James for the entire song. She felt secure being so close to him. She had danced with many boys before and not one had made her feel like what she was feeling now. James made her feel whole, secure and complete. It was like James was the missing piece of the puzzle in Lily's life. All these thoughts raced through Lily's mind at top speed. It's too late, she told herself as James spun her around a couple of times. He's got a girlfriend. I had my chance, for nearly 7 years he waited for me. I never came.
Rachel ended the song with a long note. Finally it finished. Applause erupted in the hall. She heard Riley yell out, "You rock Rach!" Rachel smiled and bowed. She was half glad it was over, but a part of her wished it was she and Sirius dancing to the soft tune of the flute.
Lily and James let go of each other and James returned to Leah, leaving Lily alone in the middle of the hall, she couldn't see Nick anywhere; he had obviously given up on her.
A faster song began to play and couples took the stage and began to dance. Rachel jumped down from the stage and saw James heading towards her. She expected him to start complaining that she was late. Instead he wrapped his arms around her in a brotherly hug.
"That was your best yet!" He said. "But what happened?" he asked confused.
Rachel sighed. "Not now, go and enjoy yourself. Im fine."
James smiled and left Rachel. As soon as he went Rachel wished she could have walked around with him like she used to when she was a little kid at balls and parties. Her and James would walk around hand in hand getting compliments from all the adults. Rachel felt alone. Riley had Sam, James had Leah, Ashley had Remus, Lily had Nick and oh god, Sirius had his Megan.
The thought of Megan and Sirius even made Rachel feel sick. She jumped back on the stage, feeling like a social reject and watched the couples dancing to the fast song. She saw Sirius and Megan take the stage, getting ready for the next song. Megan spotted Rachel looking at her and gave her a smile as if to say 'thanks for giving me Sirius, it was like taking candy from a baby.'
Rachel tried to ignore Megan's smile. Sirius had now spotted Rachel and was looking at her. He smiled and gave her the thumbs up, he felt it was the least he could do. Rachel was sure if Megan weren't with him, he would have come over.
"Why are you smiling at her?" Megan asked Sirius.
Sirius dropped his gaze from Rachel. "Her song was beautiful."
"It sounded very nice." Megan said. The difference between Megan and Suzy was that Megan wasn't stupid enough to say horrible things about people in front of Sirius.
"She looks different, but I can't figure out how." Sirius said looking at Rachel again who quickly turned away.
"Maybe she's put on weight." Megan suggested.
"No," Sirius said defiantly. "That's defiantly not it!"
A slow, romantic song started up. Rachel was supposed to sing a song after this one. Remus and Ashley started to dance, standing very close together. As did Riley and Sam. Rachel was happy to see her friends enjoying themselves. She tried to look for Lily, but she was nowhere in sight. Instead Rachel's gaze turned again to Sirius and Megan. They weren't dancing. Sirius was looking at her in a weird way. Megan looked utterly confused.
Rachel was sick of it, she was sick of Megan and waiting, waiting for the time to tell Sirius, or waiting for him to get his act together. Then it hit her she had an idea. It was the kind of idea she would think of when she was half drunk. Without even thinking it through fully, Rachel decided to do it.
The slow song ended and Rachel took her place center stage, all eyes feel on her again. She grabbed her microphone and began to talk.
"I hadn't planned to sing this song, in fact I have just decided to sing it," her voice was shaky. "Let's just say it comes from my heart." Rachel said.
She spotted Riley looking at her with a confused look. James began to cheer loudly and everyone followed his lead. The soft tune from the song began to play. Rachel took a deep breath and began to sing.
Dancin' in the dark
Middle of the night
Takin' your heart
Holdin' it tight
Emotional touch
Ooh, touchin' my skin
Askin' you to do
What you've been doin'
All over again
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I've just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go
It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
So if you wonder
'Bout the spell I'm under
It's your love
Better than I was
More than I am
All of that happened
By takin' your hand
Who I am now
Is who I've wanted to be
I wish we were together
Stronger than ever
Happy and free
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
If you ask me why I've changed
All I gotta do is say your sweet name
It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
So if you wonder
'Bout the spell I'm under
It's your love
Rachel finished. People slowly stopped dancing and clapped. No, cheered. Rachel had never had applause like it. She was glad people like It, but she didn't care if they liked it or not, that song was directed to one person. She hoped Sirius would remember it. She glanced the cheering crowd, she saw Lily, alone, standing with her mouth open, and she scanned for Sirius. She couldn't find him. Rachel wondered if he had even heard the song. She looked for Megan, she wasn't there either. The applause finished and people began to dance to the next song. Rachel stood helplessly on the stage, Sirius had gone. She turned around, Sirius had gone, she repeated, and that meant only two things. He had been too shocked by Rachel's performance and had gone out of pure shock, or even worse, Megan had dragged him out, as soon as the song started and Sirius hadn't even heard the song at all.
Rachel couldn't stand those thoughts. She couldn't bear singing anymore. She felt dizzy. She hoped Lily and James would forgive her if she went to shrivel up and die. She turned around, deciding to leave the ball all together, hoping to make a quiet get away. She had managed it. Rachel stood in the entrance hall. Sirius obviously wasn't interested.
Before she could walk up the stairs to her dorm to think her life through, something caught her eye. Megan had Sirius plastered up against the wall, again with her body practically on his. Rachel stood, no feelings flooding through her at all. She had seen enough to realize Sirius defiantly wasn't interested and frankly she couldn't blame him. Why would he pick her with a simple dress, plain hair and no make up when he could have Megan, the entire package?
Rachel shook her head letting more tears escape. It was simple, she was jealous. Feeling brave Rachel walked up to Sirius and Megan.
"It's ok Sirius. You can stop now!" Rachel said thinking all that Sirius and Megan had done all night was show off how good they were at pashing.
Sirius immediately stopped kissing Megan and looked at Rachel who had tears streaming down her face. He didn't understand why she was crying.
"I get the message." Rachel said finally. She couldn't bare the sight of him and Megan together any longer. She had to accept that friends would all her and Sirius would ever be. He wasn't interested. Rachel turned around, and as fast as she could, she ran. She knew she must have looked like a pig in a dress trying to run, and she knew Megan probably had a fat grin plastered on her face; she had gotten Sirius without doing any work at all. Rachel pounded up the stairs, her heart pounding faster than ever.
She reached the fat ladies portrait and muttered the password, her lips barely moving. The fat lady swung open. Rachel was pleased to see the commonroom was deserted. Most students 3rd year and under had gone home. Rachel paced across the fire, thoughts flooding through her mind, traveling at what seemed like 100Km per hour.
"What was that about?" Megan asked pretending to be confused, when it was her who had dragged Sirius out of the hall. As soon as Rachel had said it was a song from the heart, with words that she couldn't actually say, Megan instantly knew.
Sirius shrugged. "I'm about to find out!" He said rushing up the same stairs Rachel had taken.
"But the ball has hardly started! I'm sure it's nothing major that's wrong with Rachel!" Megan complained.
Sirius turned around. "It takes a lot for her to cry. I think I should be with her." Sirius said.
Megan didn't fight anymore. "Whatever." She muttered, half understanding Sirius's reasons to leave.
Rachel paced for what seemed like the one-hundredth time. Thoughts about Sirius, Megan, her diet and her whole life had crossed her mind several times. She felt like she had met a dead end in her life, she didn't know where to turn now. She was about to sit down when she heard the portrait door open.
Shit. She thought. The ball isn't supposed to finish for another 4 hours! Rachel was stunned to see Sirius's shaggy hair popped through the portrait hole. She tried to wipe away her tears but it was too late, Sirius was now standing close enough to see. He looked down on Rachel in her gorgeous pink dress, the dress she was supposed to wear with a smile when he danced with her tonight. She looked different, Sirius wondered if it was only the dress. But he felt there was something else, something beyond the dress. Another secret Rachel was hiding from him.
"Don't look so surprised," Sirius muttered, his voice slow and shaky. "You should know by now that I would come after you."
Right now Sirius was the last person Rachel wanted to see. In her mind she was just getting to the stage of actually giving up on Sirius and her plan all together. "Sirius, you don't need to explain, I got your message."
Sirius slowly walked forward. Rachel noticed his tie was undone and his top 3 buttons unbuttoned. "I think you misinterpreted my message."
Rachel sat herself down on the nearest sofa. She couldn't take much more of the heartbreak. "Sirius I'm sorry from dragging you away –"
"You didn't drag me away, I chose to come!" Sirius interjected taking a seat next to Rachel.
"Why did you come?" Rachel asked confused. "Why aren't you enjoying yourself with Megan?"
"There was somewhere else I wanted to be." Sirius said his voice now unbelievably shaky.
Rachel blinked a couple of times, letting more tears escape her green eyes. She wanted to jump right into Sirius's arms and stay like that forever, but another part of her wanted to keep things between her and Sirius as normal as possible. He was right, there friendship is too important to break over a relationship that has one-sided feelings. She felt more tears forming. She quickly wiped them away. Sirius had seen her cry too many times already.
"Don't hide those tears from me." He muttered removing Rachel's hand from her face. He didn't let it go.
Rachel smiled. She now understood. Megan was right; she had to let him go. If he was to come back to her, then it was meant to be. "Sirius im sorry. Your night has been ruined."
Sirius smiled. "Well actually it has," Rachel looked at him quizzically. "I passed some guy on the way up here and he asked me if I heard your song you sang. What was it?" Sirius asked.
Rachel smiled. "It was one of those things you had to see to understand."
Sirius looked confused. "Will you sing it again?"
Rachel shook her head. "I'm sorry you missed it, there's not much of a chance I'll sing it again." Rachel said truthfully. She didn't see the point in expressing her feelings for Sirius in a song, when she knew he was happy with Megan and would rather be hooking up with her in a corridor than listen to Rachel sing. She couldn't blame Sirius.
Sirius removed his hand from Rachel's and sighed. "There's something I need to know. It's part of the reason I came here tonight."
Rachel shuffled in her seat slightly, not liking the sound of where this conversation was heading. "What is it?"
Sirius stayed silent, not too sure where to begin. "You should know by now that I care about you and ever since the beginning of the year you've been acting different, you've changed. And I know there's something wrong, so there's no point hiding it from me, I saw how upset you got with our argument and I saw you in tears when I was with Megan. So tell me what is going on?"
Rachel took a deep breath, she tried to keep a neutral face when her whole insides were tossing and turning. "That's something you have to find out for yourself," She muttered. "Sirius, im sorry to say, but if you haven't realized yet then your pretty blind!"
Sirius lightly smiled. "I understand," Sirius muttered untruthfully. "Well actually I don't."
Rachel laughed. "Hey, im sorry for flipping out on you about Megan." Rachel said her voice now serious.
Sirius smiled. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have given up and I know that we don't have a proper dance floor and the timing isn't perfect but would you like to dance?"
Rachel looked at him like he wasn't serious. "Dance?"
Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the sofa. "Please?" He asked not letting go of her hand.
Rachel smiled and nodded her head. Sirius grabbed out his wand and muttered some spell Rachel didn't recognize. Instantly, out of nowhere, violins began to play. Rachel wondered where the hell Sirius learned that spell. Sirius wrapped his arms around Rachel's waist while Rachel wrapped her arms around Sirius's neck, swaying slowly to the violins.
Rachel pressed her head into Sirius's chest like she never wanted to let go. All her feelings of doubt and sadness had completely left her. This was better than any ball.
"Your very good," Sirius muttered. Rachel wondered what on earth he was talking about. "On the flute I mean." He muttered into Rachel's ear causing shocks to go through her.
Rachel smiled. "I just wish I was the one dancing to that tune under the spotlight with everyone watching." Rachel muttered.
Sirius had no reply to that. He stayed silent. He didn't mind silence with Rachel because it seemed so natural. It was like they could communicate without talking.
Finally the violins stopped playing. Rachel looked up into Sirius's eyes. "Thank you," she muttered.
Sirius looked down at her, he couldn't help but smile as he looked into her lively green eyes, full of happiness.
Rachel looked up at Sirius's face. He still had his arms wrapped around her middle and Rachel had her arms comfortably around Sirius's neck. In Rachel's opinion, they were very close. Their bodies were practically touching, almost like the way Megan's and Sirius's had done before. Rachel noticed Sirius looking directly into her eyes.
Sirius couldn't help but feel happy but also anxious being so close to Rachel. He felt like there was some kind of connection between the two of them, a connection that he didn't have with Megan. Sirius felt like the time was right, that it had to happen sometime, like fate had lead him here, and now it was up to him to make it happen. He moved closer to Rachel, pressing his body fully on hers, closing the gap between them.
Rachel felt a rush of sensation take over her body as she felt Sirius's body press against hers. She knew what was coming next, but she couldn't believe it. Sirius's face moved so close to Rachel's that she could get lost looking into his blue eyes. Sirius breathed heavily, kind of like a pant, which sent shivers all through her body and before Rachel knew what was going to happen, Sirius was kissing her.
It wasn't hard or forceful like Sirius would have normally kissed. It was light and loving. The kind of kiss that was meaningful and something you would remember for a long time. Before the kiss Rachel had shivers from Sirius being so close, now it felt like 100 bolts of electricity had shot through her all at once. She kissed back.
Sirius slowly moved his head away, in desperate need of air. He didn't know why he had kissed her or what made him do it. It was just something that was meant to happen, something that he felt he had to do.
Rachel looked back into Sirius's face, full of confusedness. Sirius had just kissed her. That was something she would never have expected, not in one million years. The effect it had on her made Rachel wanted to grab Sirius and kiss him again, and again. But she saw the confused look on Sirius's face, as if to say. 'What just happened?' Rachel decided not to kiss him again.
Rachel gave Sirius an understanding look. Like Sirius, she didn't know what the kiss meant. Had Sirius planned to kiss her?
Sirius continued to look at Rachel. He knew he shouldn't have kissed her, he didn't even know if he wanted to, but now after kissing her it had some kind of effect on him.
"What did that mean?" Rachel asked confused.
Sirius snapped out of his daydream and let go of Rachel. He expected to feel uncomfortable but the only feeling he felt was excitement and happiness. He wanted to kiss her again.
"I dunno," he muttered truthfully. "I think it was the scenery and the position getting to our heads," Sirius lied stupidly. "I dunno." He repeated.
To Rachel, the scenery hadn't come into it at all. "Yeah," she lied, going along with Sirius's excuse. "Just the scenery."
Sirius smiled. He didn't know how Rachel felt. He barely knew how he felt. All he knew was that he got what seemed like a magical feeling, a feeling that only one person could give you, he didn't feel this with Megan. Even Sirius and Rachel's bodies being close weakened his soul.
"So ah it's late, should we get some sleep?" Sirius asked, needing some time to be alone.
Rachel smiled; she needed some time to be along also. "Yeah, I'm tired," she muttered half untruthfully. "I'll see you tomorrow." Rachel said as she turned around and walked up to her empty dorm leaving Sirius alone.
Rachel supposed that Sirius would return to the ball with Megan and pretend that nothing had happened. She was wrong.
Heh. Confused? Now, some of you told me you would explode when they kiss! Haha, now things get confusing and Sirius finds that he can't ignore things anymore!
As for Megan, she isn't at all evil; in fact you will be mildly surprised with what I've done with her character! She isn't like Suzy at all!
Next Chapter – Lily and James can't bottle up their feelings anymore…and that's all I have to say!