Author: Cyclone
Rating: T for one little word
Summary: He knows an awful lot about Elizabeth Weir. ShWeir
Disclaimer: I've said it before and I'll say it again – if they were mine they would have christened the puddle jumpers already. That is all.
Thanks: As usual, to Shane for her bang-up beta job in catching my tense lapses.
XxX
He watches her. He's not sure when it started or even why he started, but he continues his silent observation nonetheless.
He knows that she eats too little and doesn't sleep enough. Sometimes after a chaotic few days she seems alarmingly thin and he makes sure that for the rest of the week she eats her meals with him. She doesn't say anything when he comes to escort her to the mess hall, and he likes to think that his stern, 'I'm your ranking military leader and I expect you to do this' look is responsible for her compliance. He knows that's not very likely, that she probably just realises how hungry she is, but he likes that she lets him think it all the same.
He knows the reasons behind the circles that sometimes appear under her eyes because they're the same reasons that cause circles to appear under his own eyes. Death, destruction, betrayal, responsibility - they all contribute to the shadows that she wears more often than not, the shadows that all the make-up in the world cannot fully camouflage.
He knows she has been pushed to the limits in this new galaxy, and that she has met every challenge head on. He knows he respects her more for that than she thinks he does and he's sorry that their lack of understanding is his fault. He knows that she takes every death personally; no matter who it is or what the circumstance. Whether it happens off-world or on Atlantis, whether it's an Athosian or a member of her team, the losses cut deeply and they all leave scars.
He knows the difference between her natural smile, her 'I'm being polite to you because I have to, but if you don't shut up soon I'm going to bang my head against a wall' smile, and her 'I'm letting this slide because it's not the place, Colonel Sheppard, but when we're alone you're going to explain to me exactly why you disobeyed my orders' smile. He lives for the first, tries to rescue her whenever he sees the second, and cringes at the third because he knows he'll have to back whatever he did up with solid evidence that he made the right decision.
He knows just how far that telltale crinkle in her forehead will deepen before she tells whoever is causing it to please fuck off, only more politely. Words are her weapon of choice, and she uses them mercilessly when she has to. He likes to watch her in action and he even likes to bait her occasionally to a little unarmed combat. He knows she toys with him though, because she lets him win their little battles at least half of the time.
He knows that she looks incredibly hot in red, and he knows that he shouldn't think that she looks incredibly hot in anything, but he has eyes so he does. He knows that her eyes are sometimes green, sometimes hazel and sometimes a whole new colour that has never been named. He knows that her hair has a natural curl but that she used to straighten it out. And he knows that after he mentioned he preferred it curly she stopped doing it.
He knows that she thinks there's something going on between him and Teyla. He knows that he should probably set the record straight there once and for all, but he isn't sure how to address it without making it seem more than it is. The last thing he wants to do is bring attention to the fact that it bothers him that she thinks he's involved with someone else.
He knows that while she doesn't love Simon anymore, she still mourns his loss. He knows that he was a big part of her life and that if she'd never come to Atlantis she probably would have married him. He knows that although the thought of never having met her hurts, the thought that she could have stayed safe and content on Earth with another man is a scenario he can live with. He knows that she worries every time he steps through the gate, more so than she does about anyone else. He knows that this bothers her and that she tries to hide it, but she doesn't quite pull it off. He knows that he's the only one allowed to interrupt her when she escapes for a few short moments of peace to the balcony. He knows that sometimes she goes out there for the specific purpose of having him follow her and that when they return to whatever was demanding their attention they're somehow refreshed.
He knows that she has her ears pierced twice but only occasionally wears earrings in one hole. He knows that she prefers silver to gold. He knows the story behind her favourite necklace. He knows that she covers the freckles on her face with make-up, but leaves the ones on her arms. He knows that she has 17 larger freckles on the length of right arm, from elbow to wrist, but 29 on her left. He knows that the next time he has a chance he'll count the smaller ones. He knows that she likes the sound of the ocean. He knows that she dislikes the muck they call coffee, but likes the swill they call tea.
He knows that sometimes she catches him watching her and pretends that she hasn't. He continues looking and she continues not noticing. He doesn't know what her motives are, but he does know that it works for them.
He knows that he knows an awful lot about her, and he's okay with that. He knows there is still so much more to discover, and he's not so okay with that. But he knows that's she'll eventually let him know everything, and he's really okay with that.
Most importantly, he knows that she watches him too.
End