Yay! Thanks for the reviews! I've managed to get a lot of writing done because it's term break! So I've got another chappie for you guys! Please review and tell me what you think! I just love them!

Chapter 18 because it had to happen

Rachel awoke on Christmas morning feeling overly tired. She had hardly gotten any sleep last night, who would have? To Rachel last night felt like one of those stories that didn't have an end. The ones that were so confusing and frustrating that you didn't get. But last night was like magic. The kiss made her feel like she was flying. Being around Sirius made her so happy. Rachel couldn't deny it anymore. She was in love. But she knew Sirius couldn't possibly feel the same. He has a girlfriend. Rachel would repeat in her mind every five minutes. What happened shouldn't have. Typically, Sirius would try to put it behind him and carry on as normal. For Rachel, putting it behind her was near impossible. She just couldn't get over the fact that Sirius Black; the Sirius Black had kissed her. The amount of times she had daydreamt about it was uncountable. But for her and Sirius's benefit, she had to put it behind her. Rachel thought Sirius had probably already gotten over it, like Rachel was just another girl he had kissed; he probably rated her like every other girl he had kissed. Yet again, she was wrong.

Sirius had woken early, unable to sleep, maybe it was because it was Christmas and he couldn't wait to get into his presents, but he knew deep down Christmas didn't even come into it. As much as Sirius tried to forget about last night, he just couldn't.

He had kissed Rachel. It hadn't been planned, it just sort of happened. Sirius felt confused. He had no idea how Rachel was feeling. He hadn't bothered to ask. There was something about her last night, something different and he couldn't think what. Sirius knew Rachel was headstrong and she could probably forget about the whole thing. It's not as if she's madly in love with me or anything. Sirius thought. Besides, I have a girlfriend. Sirius repeated this over and over in his head, trying to ignore the little voice saying 'Megan isn't the one.' He decided the best thing to do was forget about last night completely. Little did he know that forgetting was impossible.

Rachel slowly lifted her head up from her pillow to find Riley, Lily and Ashley already awake, with huge smiles on their faces, opening up presents.

"Merry Christmas!" Rachel said happily.

The girls looked up from their presents, glad to see Rachel had finally awoken.

"Merry Christmas!" The girls chorused together.

"Well come and open your presents!" Riley said already halfway through her presents.

Rachel smiled and ran down to the pile of presents at the foot of her bed. She began opening them all up.

Rachel thought she had done pretty well this year. She had received from her friends a new denim skirt that would look great on her once she had finished dieting. She had also received new perfumes, jewelry, books and much to her disappointment, chocolate.

Rachel admired her presents while Riley and Ashley talked about the ball. She was sure Riley was going to go on about it for days.

"Lils, I saw the tension between you and James!" Riley said happily.

Lily scowled. If anyone had hated the ball more than Rachel it was Lily. After her dance with James she couldn't find Nick, she hadn't seen him all night. Lily had decided not to stay around; she didn't want to see James show off his new girlfriend. Seeing them together made Lily sick, but she couldn't even admit it to herself, let alone anyone else.

"There was no tension!" Lily moaned.

"Where did you guys get to anyway?" Ashley asked Lily and Rachel. "Riley and me didn't see you all night."

Lily scowled again. "My date ditched me so I left."

"I just wasn't in the mood." Rachel lied.

Riley smiled. "That's funny because we didn't see Sirius all night, but we saw Megan, by herself!"

Rachel smiled. "That's awfully strange." Rachel said pretending that information was new to her.

"Oh don't lie to us!" Lily teased. "We heard your song, if Sirius didn't understand that then he's blind!"

Rachel couldn't help herself. "He didn't hear it at all. But it's Christmas, we'll talk about it later!" Rachel said, not wanting to think about last night.

Lily, Rachel, Riley and Ashley headed down for Christmas breakfast. It felt like only the older students were here. Everyone was talking about how smashing the ball was or what they had got for Christmas.

Lily smiled; she would miss Hogwarts once she graduated. She was so happy it was Christmas and the scenery that she didn't mind sitting next to the marauders.

"Merry Christmas!" Rachel screamed from behind James who was happily eating pancakes covered in layers of cream.

James smiled and got up to hug the girls. He paused at Lily.

"Uh Merry Christmas." He muttered.

Lily smiled sincerely. "Merry Christmas." She said putting her arms around James for a brief hug. As soon as she placed his arms around him she felt all the feelings from last night flood back to her. She let go, sooner than what she would have liked. Lily smiled and sat down.

"Merry Christmas marauders, Leah, Megan." Rachel said happily. She didn't even seem to mind that Megan was with them.

Sirius smiled and tried to look Rachel directly in the face, he couldn't manage it. Whenever he did he got this sudden urge to kiss her again. The kiss last night was something different all together. Normally when Sirius kissed he kissed for the sake of it. Last night he actually felt something.

Ashley sat down next to Remus and instantly began to plan their day together. Rachel thought Ashley was so lucky to share Christmas with her boyfriend. Infact she was lucky to have a boyfriend full stop.

Rachel cast her mind of Remus and Ashley and concentrated on James who was looking at her in the weirdest way. Rachel steered back, confused.

"What are you looking at?" Rachel whispered from across the table.

James swallowed a mouthful of pancakes and gulped. "Nothing," James muttered turning his gaze to Leah who was stroking his hair.

"Can't you fix your hair?" Leah asked stroking James's scruffy black hair which was sticking out even more so than usual.

Lily shot up. "Actually I like James's hair like that. Leave it James." Lily said swiftly.

James looked surprised and before he knew what he was doing he swept his hand through his hair to make it messier than usual, like he used to, just to impress Lily. As soon as he had done it he wished he hadn't. He put his other hand into his hair and for Leah's sake tried to tidy it.

Leah smiled as James tried his hardest to get his hair straight. "So Jamesie what are we doing today?"

James smirked and began talking in a sweet voice to Leah, which made Lily sick. "We'll think of something!" James said happily.

Lily turned away and chimed into Riley and Rachel's conversation. Riley was telling Rachel all about Sam and how great he was. Rachel tried her hardest to listen; her eyes lingered over to Sirius who was in conversation with Megan. By the looks of things he had gotten over things pretty fast.

"So we are spending the day together!" Riley said overjoyed.

Rachel snapped out of her daydream. "You're spending the day with Sam?"

Riley nodded. "Do you mind?"

Rachel shook her head. "Can't stand in the way of true love."

Riley beamed.

"Don't suppose you want to spend the day with me?" Lily asked hopefully.

Rachel smiled. "Nothing I'd like better."

It felt like Rachel and Lily were the only people in the castle that weren't spending Christmas with their significant others. Rachel had hoped she could spend the day with James; she was planning to tell him about Sirius, if anyone could help her, it was James. Unfortunately him and Leah were spending the entire day together, which for some reason annoyed Lily. Remus and Ashley were planning to sneak out to Hogsmade for a drink and Megan had planned some kind of surprise for Sirius, which in Rachel's mind didn't sound good. Even Peter had planned to spend time with Monica.

Slightly annoyed about everyone going on Christmas dates, Rachel and Lily left breakfast early and decided to make the most of the castle at it's best. After all, it was their last Christmas at Hogwarts!

All the way back to Lily's dorm Rachel had been lectured about James and his new found love. According to Lily, spending every waking hour together was unhealthy. She thought the amount of public affection they showed was also ridiculous. When Rachel asked if she was jealous Lily had rounded on Rachel so fast, it was as if Lily had a natural reaction to it.

Lily and Rachel climbed the stairs up to Lily's dorm. They had decided to camp out in Lily's bedroom and swap clothes. Rachel was overexcited about actually being able to fit into some of Lily's clothing.

"What do you want to try on?" Lily asked opening her wardrobe draws.

Rachel smirked and began pulling out clothing that she knew would look great.

Megan and Sirius had decided to take a walk around the lake. They walked together, hand in hand, both covered in warm clothing, scarves, and gloves.

"Remember when we used to walk around the lake all the time together?" Megan asked.

"Yeah." Sirius muttered.

"Are you ok?" Megan asked. "You've been acting weird."

"I'm fine." Sirius lied.

Megan knew better. She knew something was wrong with Sirius, and she could almost guarantee it was about Rachel. Megan wondered why Sirius hadn't picked up that Rachel liked him. She made it so damn obvious. She's also making it so damn obvious that she's lost weight. Personally, Megan thought what Rachel was doing was great, she almost admired her for it, and she wanted to help.

"Ok," Megan muttered.

Sirius smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips. The kiss did nothing for him, but still he liked Megan. Megan could sense Sirius's awkwardness and began to understand, he was with the wrong girl, and she knew it.

"Jamesie what are we going to do now?" Leah asked sweetly. "We could go for a broom ride if you want."

James shook his head. "Too cold."

Him and Leah had spent the whole morning together, walking around hogwarts, exploring.

"Well we could go back to your dorm if you want?"

James smiled. "That sounds like fun!"

Christmas dinner crept around sooner that day than anyone expected. Rachel hoped to drag James away and talk to him; she hadn't seen her brother all day. Rachel and Lily were dollied up, their faces piled with ridiculous amounts of makeup and their bodies covered in nice looking clothes.

Rachel was first to walk down the stairs. She felt great. She was so wound up in the fact that she was going to dinner dressed so superbly that she didn't spot two people kissing madly on the couch. She walked by, completely oblivious to who was on the couch, until Lily let out a scream.

Rachel looked at Lily to see the problem, but something caught her eye. Leah was on top of James, kissing him madly; James seemed to be enjoying it. Rachel covered her eyes, she didn't fancy seeing her brother and some girl snog on the couch.

Rachel coughed loudly, causing James and Leah to look up. Leah's eye darted to Rachel who was standing in the front, but James's eyes were drawn to a mop of red hair at the back. He rose from the couch to see Lily at the back, tears rolling down her face.

Rachel turned around to see what James was looking at. She was just in time to see Lily's door slam. Rachel turned back to James. His facial expression showed it all, and Rachel understood, the difference between him and Sirius was that James could pick up hints. Sirius was just plain blind.

Rachel didn't know how Lily felt towards James, but if she was right, Lily defiantly needed a friend right now. She knew what it felt like to walk in on the guy you like pashing another girl, and it wasn't nice. James was still lying on the couch, next to Leah, looking utterly confused. Rachel left James and Leah, Lily had been there for her, and it was time Rachel returned the favor.

James watched as Rachel climbed back up the stairs in the shortest skirt he had seen her wear, without saying a word. It felt like his life had turned upside down. He cared that Lily was hidden away crying; it killed him that she was suffering. He went through in his mind why Lily could possibly be crying; he knew there was something terribly wrong.

Rachel ran as fast as she could up the stairs in her skirt. She wasn't used to running in a short skirt. Rachel pushed open the door and spotted Lily sitting on her bed. She had managed to stop the tears falling; she just sat there, showing now emotion.

"Lils what has gotten into you?" Rachel asked taking a seat on the bed next to Lily.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with me!" Lily yelled. "I care that he spends all his time with Leah, I care that he goes after her and not me! I care that he's kissing her and not me!"

"Oh Lily," Rachel said quietly.

"I don't want them to be together!" Lily yelled helplessly, tears were now beginning to form.

"Why?" Rachel asked.

"Because I want him to be with me!" Lily said, not bothering that tears were streaming down her face.

Rachel knew exactly how Lily felt. Luckily for Lily, her and James were in the same league.

"Oh honey, I know," Rachel said truthfully.

"What happened between you and Sirius anyway?" Lily asked.

Rachel shook her head. "Not now," she muttered not in the mood for talking about her. "Tell me, do you love James?"

Lily let more tears escape. "I don't know!" Lily muttered.

"Do you think about him all the time? Do you get butterflies whenever you're around him, talking to him or even thinking about him? Do you feel like you can fly whenever you're close to him? Does it feel like shocks go right through you?" Rachel asked.

"Is that how you feel when you're around Sirius?" Lily asked.

Rachel nodded.

Lily sighed. "Yes. I've known for ages. I don't even care that he's arrogant, because when we were friends he proved to me that he wasn't always arrogant and I was too stupid to act upon my feelings then!" Lily screamed. "What am I going to do?"

Rachel smiled. "Tell him." Rachel said.

"Why don't you tell Sirius you love him?" Lily asked wanting to know Rachel's secret.

Rachel stayed silent. "When you kiss the guy you love for the first time, it's worth all the heartbreak." Rachel stood up; she knew Lily needed time to think. "Tell him." She muttered once again.

Lily sat in shock as Rachel closed the door behind her, Rachel's advice fresh in her mind. "When you kiss the guy you love for the first time, it's worth all the heartbreak." What did Rachel mean by that? Lily wondered. Then it hit her.

Once Rachel walked back down the stairs again she was glad to see James alone. She spotted him looking at her in a weird way; it was only until Rachel looked down at what she was wearing did it click. She was showing off a lot of skin, her legs looked the thinnest they had been in years.

James didn't smile when he saw Rachel, Infact he showed no emotion.

"My room, now." James muttered. He needed someone to talk to, he couldn't bottle it up inside forever, someday it had to come out, and his sister felt like the only person who could sort him out.

Rachel slowly nodded, not too sure what James was going to say. Rachel followed James into his room and sat on his unmade bed, typical. She thought.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked concerned, sitting closer to James.

"You know how for 6 and a half years I've liked Lily, then I got over her and we decided to be friends, then I thought I had completely gotten over her and decided to go out with Leah?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes." She said.

James stopped talking normally and began to shout. "I care that she's upset, I care that some boy asked her to the dance, I care that she's miserable!" James screamed. "It's all my fault!"

Rachel put a comforting arm around James. "What are you saying?"

James sighed. "I don't know! It's all so confusing!"

"What about Leah?" Rachel asked trying to help her brother as much as possible.

"She's great, she's a nice girl. I like her," James said. "But she's not Lily."

Rachel smiled. "I know," Rachel said. "What are you going to do?"

James sighed. "I don't know! I was hoping you would know!"

"Tell her," Rachel said. "It doesn't matter how you do it just tell her."

James looked frustrated.

"Do you love her?"

"What is love?" James asked.

Rachel smiled. "Do you think of Lily whenever you kiss Leah? Do you get butterflies whenever you're around her? Do you fee like you could fly? Do you care that she's upset? Do you want more than anything to be with her?" Rachel asked.

James smiled. "Is that how you feel about Sirius?" he asked seriously.

Rachel's eyes widened and looked at her brother in shock. "Uh pardon?" she asked chocking lightly not believing what she was hearing.

James smirked. "Don't lie to me," James muttered. "Just because Sirius is a blind bat doesn't mean I haven't seen the way you look at him, the way you talk to him, how he manages to make your day and I heard the song you sang at the ball."

Rachel didn't know why she had tears in her eyes; maybe it was the fact that James had recapped over how Sirius made her feel.

"One last thing," James muttered in Rachel's ear. "You look great."

That was too much for Rachel. Before she knew what she was doing she jumped into James's arms, tears flowing down her face. "You noticed?"

James smiled and nodded. "Ages ago! I just didn't want to say anything," he said happily. "Tell me, is it all worth it?"

Rachel let go of James and smiled. "Every single spec of heartbreak."

James wrapped his arms around her one more time. "Then why haven't you told Sirius?"

"He doesn't feel the same way." Rachel whispered from James's chest.

James shook his head. "That's what your brain tells you. What does your heart say?"

Rachel thought. She felt she had to tell James the truth, about Christmas Eve night, the kiss. She filled him in.

"He kissed you?"

Rachel nodded. "Do you want to kiss Lily?"

James lightly smiled. "Yes."

"Then do it." Rachel said surely.

James smirked. He ruffled his hair, making it messier than usual. "The old James Potter is back!"

James awoke the next morning with a whole lot of thoughts flooding through him. Last night, Rachel had told him a lot of things, if anything she had inspired him to sort out his dilemma. He couldn't believe his little sister was in love with his best friend, but what he found the hardest to believe was her bravery. She loves Sirius uncontrollably; she doesn't expect anything in return. She just gives. James thought that took courage and he admired that, because he doesn't want to fall flat on his face and leave himself open to hurt.

James hadn't spoken to anyone all morning. He had skipped breakfast and had asked Leah to meet him in his room at 9:00 in the morning. He couldn't bare seeing Lily or anyone for the matter.

At precisely 9:00 James saw his door open. In came Leah, looking pretty in a nice pair of jeans and a black tank, James felt horrible for having to do this to her.

"Uh sit down." James said bluntly.

Leah looked confused but sat down all the same.

"There's something I think you should know." James said sounding serious.

Leah smiled, showing she understood. "You can tell me."

James didn't see the point in beating around the bush. "I'm in love with another girl."

Leah didn't even look surprised. She lightly smiled. "I understand." She said plainly.

James smiled. Being so understanding was one of the things he liked about Leah. He was glad she took it so well. Unlike Suzy, Sirius had told James the horror of breaking it off with Suzy.

"Leah im so sorry!" James said genuinely.

Leah smiled and stood up to hug James. "I was half expecting it." She muttered.

James looked down at her. "You were?"

Leah nodded. "I'm happy for you." She muttered, kissing James on the check and slowly walking off, leaving James alone, again.

Rachel, Riley and Ashley hadn't seen Lily all morning, and it was now lunchtime! Rachel decided not to tell her friends about Lily's little dilemma, she could tell them in her own time.

The girls walked down to the great hall to find Sirius, Remus, Peter and Megan sitting together eating lunch. Rachel put on her fake, happy face as soon as she realized Megan and Sirius were together.

"Hi guys!" Rachel beamed almost too happily.

"What are you so happy about?" Remus asked sensing Rachel's sudden beam of happiness

Rachel took a seat next to Peter, opposite Sirius and Megan who were holding hands on the table.

"Nothing." Rachel said as Riley and Ashley took a seat next to her.

"We were just talking about you." Megan beamed.

Remus coughed.

"Really?" Rachel asked with a sly grin. "And what on earth were you saying?"

Sirius refused to meet Rachel's eyes and Remus's coughed again.

"We all agree that you've changed," Rachel looked up so fast Riley laughed. "But we can't pick out what it is."

Rachel cast a side-glance at Remus. "Ah, well I don't know what to say." Rachel said truthfully. She glanced over at Sirius, he was looking anywhere but Rachel's face. Rachel glanced at Megan who winked at her; she didn't know what on earth that meant.

"Hay where's Lily and Prongs?" Peter asked looking around as if they were going to appear out of nowhere and yell 'boo!'

Rachel smiled and shook her head. "I wouldn't have a clue." She lied.

Lily was alone, locked away in her room. She let the tears run freely as she turned through the pages of her diary. From her first day at Hogwarts, Lily began a diary. She wanted to remember all her memories. She had spent the entire morning reading her entries; she was up to 3rd year.

I met Rach, Riley and Ash at the train station. As usual James was with Rach, just my luck! He smiled at me as soon as he saw me.

"Hello Evans! How was your summer?" he would ask me ever so politely. I am so rude to him! I don't know how me puts up with me!

Lily read this over several times. 6 and a half years James had waited, 6 and a half years of putting up with her rants and darn right bitchiness. I threw everything right back at him! Lily thought. He was so nice to me, and I treated him like crap. He waited, for 6 and half years, I never came. And now he's given up! Lily thought, as tears flowed down her face, making her diary paper wet.

Lily slammed the diary shut, horrified with the way she had treated James all these years, and it had taken her 6 and half years to realize she can't live without him.

It's time for me to go to him. Lily told herself. She stood up and for the first time this day exited her room, she had to find James, tell him she loved him.

Lily supposed he would be in his room. She was shocked when he wasn't. Desperate to find him, the only other place Lily could think of was the quidditch pitch; it was where James went whenever he needed to clear his head.

Lily ventured out into the Hogwarts grounds. Her feet led her in the direction of the quidditch pitch. The sight of the tall goalposts and the great stands reminded her of James. Her heart leaped at even the thought of James. Was this what love felt like? Was this the sensation that Rachel got whenever she thought of Sirius? Lily couldn't think straight.

Lily was now in the middle of the quidditch pitch, her whole body freezing cold. She looked up into the sky, there he was. Up on his broomstick, not too high up.

"James!" Lily tried to yell, but all that came out was sobs.

Lily furiously wiped away her tears and took a huge breath.

"JAMES!" she yelled as loud as she possibly could, as if her life depended on it.

James instantly looked down, hearing his name being called. As he searched the pitch ground he saw it, her red hair. Curious to find out what Lily was doing in the middle of the pitch calling his name, James flew down as fast as he could, landing 20 feet away from her.

As soon as James landed, Lily rushed forward, knowing what she had to do. She ran, her heart pounding, as she got closer to James who looked worried.

"Lils are you ok?" James asked.

Lily ignored him. She took a deep breath, and tried listening to what her heart was telling her.

"For 6 and a half years you waited, you didn't give up on me, you loved me. And what did I do? I shoved it back in your face!" Lily said sobbing more so than ever. "And then you moved on, you forgot about me!" tears were now coming out of Lily's eyes at a very fast rate. "But I couldn't move on! I thought I hated you, down to the last strand of your hair! But truth is, I can't live without you. James, someone told me that if you love a person you have to tell them!"

Lily stopped talking and pulled James closer. She steered into his lively hazel eyes for a moment. James steered at Lily, teary faced but with a smile on her face. She had just told him she loved him. James smiled back, placed his arms around her waist and kissing her.

The kiss was loving, passionate and meaningful. Lily loved everything about it. James pulled away, gasping for air.

"Wow." James said amazed. "Who told you to tell me?"

"Rach," Lily muttered.

"Remind me to thank her someday."

Lily smiled. "Sorry for the wait."

"It was worth it." James said going in for another kiss.

Hehe. I'm sorry for the lack of Sirius/Rach action in this chappie, but I had to get Lily and James together! And at least now James knows about Rachel and her diet! Next chapter will have more Sirius/Rachel action! I know some of you want to kill me for not getting Sirius and Rach together quicker, but they will be together soon! Stay with me! Ha!

Next Chapter – Sirius realizes his true feelings and Megan helps Rachel out!