It was Lance Constable Downball's unlucky fate to be on desk duty that night. The door of the Watch House exploded open and a startlingly beautiful woman walked in.
Of course, she wasn't really all that beautiful. She looked astonishing, in the most untouchable, lunatic and violent way, which affected Lance Constable Downball in a way he'd never been affected before, mostly because he was a boorish young man who looked for nothing in a woman except a certain willingness to shut up and be talked at. This woman looked as if being talked at was not an option, not even to incessantly compliment her- she'd probably require a lengthy discussion on relative literary value per compliment.
Downball stared at her.
"You," she murmured. "Take me to see Salicia von Humpeding at once."
She must be another vampire, thought Downball in a thoroughly stunned way. The way she looks around the room, the way she carries herself, her gorgeous gorgeous face- oh!
He wobbled with jelly knees and uncomfortable drawers towards the shower rooms. Sally was in there, painting her toenails pink. He knew this because an awful lot of dwarf females had been making a fuss about it- it was some new colour, 'Electric Petunia' or similar. Normally he would have asked the visitor to wait patiently for the requested officer, but all he could think of saying was, "Urrr," and all he could think of doing was obeying, both of which he did now.
"Thank you," the beautiful woman said, bestowing on him a melting, succulent smile that caused an involuntary, "Urrr," to escape Downball's lips. Then she stalked inside.
Indeed, in the shower rooms were Sally the Vampire, the famous Cheery Littlebottom and another female dwarf officer in luminous purple eye make-up. What they saw walk in was- a fairly pretty girl in a very expensive dress, carrying in front of her what was almost entirely padding, with her thick black hair pinned up in an elaborate bun, and a peevish expression on her face.