Yami's koi: hi. First off, a BIG huggle to those who have reviewed. Please note that I'm very happy due to my victory over a mean baka at school.

Neutral Man: you probably deserved it.

Yami's koi: Shut up… grins Neutral Dude.

Neutral Man: MAN! NEUTRAL MAN!

Yami's koi: smirks from Bakura I believe you. Onto the ficcy!

Seto still trembles with the enormity of what he has just heard. Silent tears fall down his face. The dagger that was my words are still etching a gradual hole in his heart, and this is evident by the waves of aching grief that I can almost feel radiating from him. His slender, tall body – once proud and impatient - owns the posture of a defeated man, broken and lacking hope inside.

I can do nothing to spare him of the emotions that he is experiencing right now. Seto feels this depression so heavily, and, mingled with shock, I doubt that even words can describe the utter dejection and agonising reality of what he is experiencing.

With an odd pang of realisation in my heart, I suddenly understand how Bakura must be feeling at this very moment…

Bakura

Slowly I emerge from the bathroom, wiping the tears from my eyes. Of late when I weep, I wish sincerely that those tears could represent just a small fraction of the devastation I am feeling inside. Yugi and Yami now both stand at the door, staring at my slightly flushed, weary face. The younger of the two had obviously been crying, and even I can detect that the Pharaoh is displeased about it. I sigh.

"You two might as well… go home. I don't think that we… can do anymore for today. Our eyes need to rest."

The Pharaoh says nothing, and makes no effort to move out of this darkened, cursed house. His eyes avert to my hands. I hold a knife, retrieved from its unjust slitting... hated for the crime that it has committed. Yami stares at me, silently questioning the presence of a blooded, icy cold blade. I shrug in response to the question that was never asked out loud.

"Go. I have things to arrange with several people."

Yami nods, and gently steers Yugi down the stairs. I see the amethyst eyes glance back for a moment, before his body leaving my property for the night. I exhale deeply, and drop Ryou's knife. The one in which was used to slit his wrists, and chest. I shudder as I recall what I saw before I closed my eyes and kissed those lips of his, already falling cold when we touched.

I gradually draw out a smooth, neatly folded piece of paper from my pocket. Iie, it is not the timeline of terrifying events. Iie, it is not the grocery bill.

It is Ryou's suicide note. He wrote one especially for me, and another on separate paper for all of his friends, with fresh paragraphs for each different person.

I sigh, and feel more moist tears fall down my blushing cheeks. They always go in such a way when I weep, which, of late, has become a regular event, though who can blame me?

Anyway. Enough with bitching about how sinister and corrupted my life is. Slowly my eyes rest on the words that almost broke my heart.

'Bakura,

I am so sorry. I cannot apologise enough for what I have done, but it is irreversible: I am no longer alive, and my only solace of death is with me now. My wrists have bled themselves out, the amount of my blood free from my ungrateful vessel. Those darkened lands of torment and raging battles shall, from this moment forward, be the cemetery that I now claim as my home... the heaven in which I have escaped to.

I must reveal my reasons for doing this. I… have been pushed away too many times. The happy couple routine of everyone around me has become too much for me to handle. They did not mean to push me away. But they did. Sure, it's selfish of me to envy their happiness… yet it might make more sense if I explain that I am also in emotional heartache… over you. I hate seeing others together… because it reminds me that I am not with you.

I fell in love with you months ago, yet every day, it feels like a new realisation. Once you opened your arms and showed me what care and hope could be like, I loved you, and I still do, even though I am dead. Love does never stop when a person departs from this world… iie… it carries on.

I never care that you are male. You are a person, and so beautiful, inside and out. I feel that… I was really the only one that you could ever talk to, and reveal how you truly felt. I doubt that you love me, yet I must hold onto that false hope when in suffering and in question.

When I first met you… it was so different than what I was used to. You hit me. I forgave you, and showed you also what experiencing love, forgiveness and trust was like… even though I had never felt it in return. Of course, that was soon to change.

You were unsure at first, because you had never trusted before. You had never held that burden, until I ruined it for you. Soon I proved to you just how loyal I could be. That was why I never told any of the happy couples how I felt about them being so… touchy around everyone. It must be great to show the world about your fresh love, but how am I to know?

Bakura… it is you whom I love. I am so sorry that it is you who must take my body away. I am sorry that you must endure the funeral. I am sorry that, for a while, you shall be without love and comfort. I am also sorry that you had such a weak, pathetic, whining arsehole for an hikari.

Never forget me, Bakura. Use me as an example when you have a lover, someone worth your heart. Finally, I would like to thank you for all that you have shown me, and given to me. It was you who taught me to see the faults in people. It was you who made me laugh. And it was also you who I fell in love with. Thank you… for giving me the opportunity to love you.

I will love you forever,

Ryou x.'

I find that I cannot take my eyes away from the paper. Instead, my arms rises and hurl it at the nearby wall, where it bounces off, and lands on the carpet, near to Ryou's old room. Shakily, and in an almost dreamlike state, I brush past the note and enter.

The supposedly gentle rain from earlier has now become quite miserable, though I cannot see much of it, as Ryou had not pulled back the curtains. I slowly draw them, revealing the thick, darkened clouds release the droplets that they carry in vast amounts, attacking everything into becoming wet and cold. I sigh and smile slightly at a memory that I deemed had been forgotten, or imaginary…

Flashback – Normal POV

Ryou sighed and stared out of the window. It was raining, and yet, somehow, he could manage a smile. Bakura stepped silently behind him, and blew gently on the back of his neck. Ryou made hardly any reaction.

"Boo." Bakura said quietly, gazing out of the window with his hikari. What could he find so amusing and merry about several droplets of rain, splattering down onto earth? Could it be that Ryou's mind had finally snapped and forced him to love him?

What are you looking at? Bakura asked softly, in Ryou's mind. His hikari tilted his head ever so slightly to look into his yami's often cold eyes. Well, cold in other people's own eyes. To Ryou, and seemingly only him, would those eyes show welcome, and affection. It was ever so relieving to see such a sight; after all of the neglect he had been receiving from his friends.

Just the rain, Kura… Ryou replied just as gently, and, after a small pause, he began to speak again. When I was younger, I used to believe that rain came from the stars. Heavy rain meant that someone was really upset, whereas snow meant innocence… something beautiful had happened, ya know?

Bakura was silent. Feeling edgy, Ryou spoke, Kinda pathetic, I know, but hey! I was only about five.

Bakura smiled himself. Ryou could be just too cute sometimes. Okay. I believe you.

Absently the Tomb Robber began running a pale hand through even paler hair. Ryou made no movement to suggest he did not want the attention, so Bakura continued to stroke the soft locks.

Ryou…? If we ever become separated, then I will find you. I'll give everything, even my own life, to ensure your own safety.

His light smiled and looked at Bakura directly, standing up straight again. "Thank you, Bakura. I just hope that it never comes to that."

End Flashback

Well… Ryou, I am so sorry. But it has. I glare down at the spot where Ryou once lay. If his body had not disappeared, then the Pharaoh and myself would have been able to bring life back into his body… and then my heart would not be broken. Then none of this would have happened. Things would not have come to my hopeless reading.

I stare around the room, flashes of Ryou's and my own past experiences in here entering my mind. I linger for several minutes on photographs that he had taken, and immediately feel like racing onto the landing, and impaling myself on the knife that I have dropped.

So many of them are of… me. Yet, as I look closer, I note that his bedside table has a draw half-opened. I draw it out fully, and find pictures – but I ask myself, why would they be hidden?

With a shaky pause, I begin to stare at them. Several are of… of me and Ryou, usually hugging, or simply talking. Then, my heart stops. I was never aware of him taking this… this is…

"I will love you forever," I say automatically, almost happily, and I freeze. My mind sees clearly the last few words that my fallen angel, Ryou, wrote to me. I back away from the cabinet, dropping the photograph as I turn, and begin to run from the house. I wrench open the front door after storming down the stairs, and race out into the street, and stopping, in the middle of the road.

"RYOU! WHERE ARE YOU? RYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!" I scream, paying no heed to the rain that pounds onto my body. My hands run themselves through my hair, and I sink to my knees, all effort for a desperate shout over.

"Ryou…" I whisper brokenly, shaking my head, in a hopeless attempt to free myself from those deadly thoughts. My fists slam themselves down onto the sodden road, and I shake wildly. "No… why can't I be with you? Why? I love you… and you me. Why shouldn't we be together!"

And then I realise something. I am so… blind to what is the easy way out. Why was I bitching about reading and doing nothing about it, when Ryou unwittingly gave me the answer to being together?

In almost another dreamlike condition, I rise to my feet. Slowly I make my way back into the house, and lock the door just as gradually. I have an idea.

Slowly I make my way back upstairs… to where I left Ryou's knife.

Ryou

Silence. Occasionally he turns to observe me, or open his mouth, almost as if he is about to say something, before turning away abruptly. I cannot question him yet… for he has lost his lover… probably the only one he ever could love… apart from Mokuba, of course, yet that is not quite the same…

'But how would you know?' A smug, 'bringing-you-down' type of voice sneered, 'You've never felt love. No, and when you finally realised that you were, you were dead. And that's a good way to repay BAKURA, isn't it? To go and die on him for no reason…?'

I clench my jaw, willing myself to not release the tears from my eyes. Seto again turns around, but actually speaks.

"How do you know all of this…?" His voice is quiet, and scratchy from his tears. It also bears the soft, shaky quality that naught can explain.

I groan slightly in my throat, suppressing it just enough so that the teenage CEO will not hear me.

"I… was the… one who found him." I eventually declare, my voice suddenly becoming hollow and my eyes blurring even more as I turn away from those perusing eyes – so cold and sharp – and heartbroken features. In the window I see his reflection lower its head, see his eyes fall to a gentle close before more silent tears make their way down his face.

I find myself feeling, once again, completely helpless. All I can do is watch as fresh tears fall gently down the pale cheeks of the heavily burdened teenager, and watch as this aching torment commences.

Even though it's not in the job description, it may be wise to comfort the poor bloke. Osiris suddenly says, appearing in the eye of my mind. My teeth clench slightly, as he continues, If you ever want to search Kaiba Corp, the best thing to do would be to explore also his mansion first. Wiser still, do it at night… when he's either asleep, or too lost in his own thoughts to hear you moving around. Either that or you actually embrace the full potential of you Millennium Item.

I ensure that I am not being watched before contacted the smug-looking God in my mind. Yes, but, its difficult, you see, when Seto is often an arrogant bastard who hates everything that he sees and attempts to defeat you in several duels before -

And he looks as if he will duel you now, does he? Osiris finished triumphantly, with a grim smile on his lips. I roll my eyes, berating myself for falling into such a predictable hole. Just thought that I'd pass on the message… after all, what we all need is a little comforting sometimes, eh, Master Ryou?

With a short, very fake laugh, he vanishes. Why must it be I who puts up with this? Why should I, Ryou Bakura, endure this?

Because I must get back to my Bakura. I must find a way to convince the Gods that I should return to the Reality that I loved. Or, used to hate. Now, it seems to be a paradise, compared to what I am witnessing here.

"You… you f-found him?" Seto chokes, his body trembling with the incapability to accept that fact. He sways dangerously, before collapsing on the floor. He begins to sob, and I truly do pity him. Losing a loved one is harsh… but if this is nothing compared to what my Tomb Robber is enduring, then I most sincerely hope that I must never have to face this until I am entirely ready.

I sink down beside Seto, and hesitantly place my hand on his arm. When he makes no attempt to brush me off, like a mistake, never to be heard of again, I take it as a permit to comfort him.

"Seto… you cannot blame yourself… you weren't to know…" I begin sadly, regarding the pale, trembling features with mounting dislike. I fear that if he pales much further, then he shall faint.

"Who would… have done such a cruel thing to me…?" Seto says in between sobs, his eyes either closed or focused solely on the floor of his office, "Why would anyone… want… to kill my koibito?"

I smile grimly now: another reminder of my true objectives whilst here.

"That, it seems, is my job."

Seto stares up into my face, almost disbelievingly, before sighing.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I must let you… do your job. I can't explain how… how…" He struggles for words, so I begin to assist him.

"Suicidal you are feeling?"

Seto pauses. "I could kill myself, but that would never be what my lover wanted. No." A watery, faint smile reaches his lips, and his icy eyes brighten slightly as he remembers the better times. "Everyday he told me how he wanted us to be able to go out together, and have an actual relationship where no one gives a fuck if we're gay or not."

I smile slightly. "I can understand. I once had a friend who was homosexual, but I could never help him. At that time, you see, I was very misunderstood myself, and kept pushing everyone away. I… couldn't help my friends when they needed me, and I may regret it forever… yet the past cannot be rewritten."

You hear that, Osiris?

Bakura

I have finally decided… if I cannot have Ryou in life… then I shall seek him out in death. It is the only way in which I can be with him… and I am willing to do anything for my precious hikari. Nothing, not even the Gods themselves… can stop me now. Not now that I am so bent on finding Ryou.

With a shuddery breath I eye the blade that I now hold. I should, if my state of mind is right, fear it; it is the thing that my beloved tenshi ended his life with, and it should also be hated.

However… as it is the item that will bring Ryou and me together in love from its kiss… I must worship its icy cold steel, so uncomfortable against the heat of my skin: the blood that stains it, still as dark as rubies. This tool of death… may once again be put to use, before being placed away safely somewhere, to forewarn others. Others so careless and often so blind in what they actually have.

I can almost feel my eyes adopt an icy look and completely devoid of all things living. All I may focus my mind on are things that are cold and dead.

Very slowly, taking my time, I raise it to my left wrist. Its glacial touch causes me to shiver: but, all the same, I press in with my strength, before eventually dragging it along the pale expanse of my submissive, soft wrist. With the amount of pressure that I have control over, the blade drags slowly, though I am in no great hurry. For Ryou… I shall be with you, for all of time, in the Afterlife.

I stare down at the impression left in my wrist, and gasp aloud. I see barely a scratch, and am slightly scared. If I continue like this, then I shall never see my beloved again until I die of less painful circumstances.

I apply more strength to press the blade into the scratch, and begin to drag it across the width of my wrist. I feel it's jagged teeth scrape through my skin, and smile bitterly. It bites once more as I slowly lift the blade away, and I release a small, hollow laugh, my eyes reflecting naught but a bittersweet hope, shrouded in the uncertainty of why I had not done this before. This feels so good… and, with delight, I see just how well my strength has served me. A tiny glimmer of blood, sanguine to my tormented spirit, spreads along the small cut. Not enough, however, I think, and my lips form a frown.

Thick clouds above release the high-pitched cracking sounds as I replace the blade again, right along the stinging line. The tingling sensations are almost annoying me now, especially at the… well, lack of pain they are giving me.

I do not fear pain, and right now, all I can do is crave for its sweet distraction: for this, I believe, is the introduction to my addiction that Ryou has laid out for me.

I press in and pull the dagger, and gasp as I get what I truly desire: a dull ache, from the slit made across my wrist. Lifting my knife away, I see Ryou's blood, and mine, mingling together to give a twisted satisfaction of attainment. A small amount of blood spreads out, filling the line of where I have begun to make a gash.

Hold on for me now, love. I'm not so far away anymore.

To ease my heartache, I must continue. I cannot linger for much longer on this earth: not without my beloved Ryou. How I ever managed to sleep in the early hours of this morn is… inconceivable.

The blade falls back so easily now into the cut, and I quicken up my pace. There can be no going back from this stage. I add more of my unlimited strength onto the blade, where I seek my ultimate dream of love and light.

Odd, isn't it? How everyone else's darkness, and possibly their greatest fear, can be my divine heaven, crafted especially for the love that we could not express. I feel no more pain from the blade at the speed that I am going. With a howl of triumph, I lean my head back and fall to my knees, my skin feeling a thin sliver of blood trickle down from my wrist, and splatter the floor below.

The ache has now become a deep, hard throbbing, slowly making its way up along my arm: and the expanse of my wrist is now almost shuddering with the intensity of pain I am inflicting upon myself. My heart is beating so fast, and I can feel it thundering in my chest, quickening in anticipation.

Then, suffering. My eyes open suddenly, and my mouth is open also, in surprise. An explosion of aching agony erupts from the centre of my wound, my desire, and also I see lights. Sweet lights… yet too pure and uncorrupted for myself. Darkness is what I am, and darkness is what I shall claim.

Then, I freeze. I am unaware that I have stopped slitting my wrist, yet I can dimly feel blood still making its eventual way from my body, still hear it splashing slightly against the floor. My eyes have almost adjusted to the blinding lights before me… and I am leaving the room.

At this, my heart leaps. Is this death? Could death for a yami truly be so…?

"Good Afternoon, Bakura," A deep, calm voice greets me. I stare up, kneeling on my knees, with my mouth open. No, he can't be here. Not now! Not when I am about to… to see my… tenshi again…

He gestures to my knife at my silence, a carefree smile placed upon his pleasantly coloured lips.

"Now really, Bakura, are you sure that you would find Ryou, even if you do die? How could you have known that he was in the Afterlife, when he obviously isn't?"

"Ra…" I hear myself whisper, before an uncontrolled rage strikes me from within my heart. Before I am aware of what I am doing, I jump to my feet.

"YOU POISONED MY HIKARI, YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!" I scream. Ra doesn't even do so much as flinch, yet in my heart of hearts, I know and reluctantly accept that he could never fear me. After all, what can a lowly Tomb Robber do to him? And, best of all, one wrist is out of action, too weak and blood-deprived to move quickly enough, despite all of my training.

"Now, now, Bakura, is that really how you anticipate us to speak to you?" Osiris asks, materialising from a small cloud of purple and navy tones. I growl, but do not say anything further. I cannot possibly take on the supreme Lord, and his favourite colleague.

Well, I could, of course, but that would probably result in me never seeing my Ryou again. To do so would certainly mean the most ultimate of hells for me. And that is something that I cannot allow to happen.

Osiris glances down at my bleeding wrist and sighs.

"I'd better do a little bit of cleaning up for you, then," He says simply. Before I can realise the full extent of what he is doing, it has been completed. I stare down at my wrist, and see no blood, no knife held in my hand. All that is visible is a white scar that shoots across the width of my left wrist: a flaw that is almost impossible to miss.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" I hiss, in a deadly low tone. I feel a nagging thought in my head that, if Osiris had got eyebrows, they would be raised in question.

"Bakura… even if you had been successful in your suicide attempt – which, believe me, the reasons for this actions are so beautiful – what is the guarantee that you would have been able to find Ryou? Who is saying that his lies have blessed him with torment and aching pain?"

"That's what he said," I mutter, almost childishly. I scowl darkly, and feel my eyes returning to their normal shade of chestnut. How can they be so calm, when I am here, fearing that I will never see my light again? Don't they even understand the concept of love, or a yami/hikari bond? Can they not comprehend how much agony I have lived through for the past two days? Can't they just understand a small fraction of what I am going through?

"Calm it, Bakura." Ra says firmly, warningly. Slowly I turn to face him, and there are no words that can describe how wrathful, how fractious, how seething I am right now. How can he stand there, watching me feel all of this, and react almost as if he is at a casual fucking tea party!

"Understand this, Bakura," Osiris begins softly, a lot less insistent than his Master, "Understand that we can't let you die. You… are the vital reason why Ryou is surviving."

"So Ryou is alive?" I ask quickly, and Osiris blinks.

"Alive in some ways, yes. Or at least, he is in the belief that he is hovering on the edge between death and existing in the so-called 'real' world."

Should I take that as comfort? Vague talking from a God is often a two-sided issue, no matter what the circumstances… but if my Ryou is in danger, and they have something to do with it… then their fate shall be a severe, and dark one.

"And is that good news?" I ask eventually, after the information has sorted itself out into a sensible format in my mind. Ra opens his mouth, and I turn to face him.

"Ryou believes that he lives only because he can still feel emotions, and physical things, such as pain, and the rain on one's face."

My inner ears hear something that my mind doesn't like.

"Did you just say… pain? So he is feeling pain, and that's why he thinks that he is alive, without me?" I hiss, eyes narrowing dangerously. Without thinking, I draw from below my jeans a knife, gripping it tightly.

What I hate is how they cannot express emotions to humans, and only to each other. How do I know what face Ra is making when he turns to Osiris? Would I be worried if I could see it, or would I be completely satisfied by this?

"We never once said that he was without you, Bakura," Ra reasons, "But that's always been your problem, hasn't it?"

I blink at that. "And what do you mean by that?"

Osiris grins. "You just assume that Ryou's in the Afterlife. You just assume that he is in pain. You just assume that he is without friends, or assume that he is being tormented. Clear your mind for a moment, and then perhaps we shall confirm several of your suspicions as being totally wrong."

Relax? Clear your mind? I could just as easily detach my legs, you fucked up whore.

"I would rather have Ryou face another death than have to deal with your endless riddles and taunting," I snarl, my face set in what I hope to be a deathly look. So deathly, perhaps, that they will reveal to me what is occurring to my little Ryou right now?

It seems not.

"Calm it, Bakura! Only then can we tell you what has happened…" Ra reminds me, with a smug smile positioned on his lips. I cannot help but throw both him and Osiris nasty scowls before closing my eyes. All I can see is colour… and odd blur so well blended that my senses can barely take it. I force my eyes open… and stare even more.

Ra and Osiris… kissing. Sure, you say, it's only a small kiss on the cheek. Sure, it's only between the ones who must have a small idea of what I am going through! Can they not understand how difficult it is for me to sustain this level of calm – if you can call this current state of mine as both rational and normal – when I am parted from the one I love? I would rather have him near to me, alive, and not even responding to what I told him before he left me, than to have him dead and gone.

"Excuse me," I say, in a cold voice, "But can you at least compromise with my problems before you focus so selfishly on your lust?"

They both blush simultaneously, pulling back from what I can only hope to be their final kiss in front of me when I am without love.

Ra heaves a sigh, and leaves the arms of his almost inferior colleague, before sitting down on a stool that has seemingly materialised from nowhere.

"Take a seat, Bakura. We owe you an explanation. Just sit down, and we will tell you what bargain we have made with Ryou."

Ryou

"Even if the past can't be rewritten," Seto reasons with me, storming past as we both climb into his limo to go to Kaiba Mansion. "It can still be repeated. I can only hope that people like you are the ones who can prevent that kind of thing from happening." Seto shoots another glance at me, and he smiles for a moment… before bewilderment sets hold. He leans towards me slightly, staring at my face with deep interest and an emotion that I cannot read.

"Have I seen you somewhere before?"

I pretend to stare intensely back at him before responding.

"I am sure that my acquaintance with you would have been a vivid memory. No. I can't say that I have seen you… except for on several billboards."

Seto shrugs slightly and starts the car. I relax slightly and close my eyes, my mind lost in the catacombs of my memory. Although several obstacles of pain obstruct my way from seeing some of these memories, I can still treasure those that I remember.

I sigh as we stop, hopefully at a red light.

But, instead, I find myself jerked forwards slightly out of my seat. I hear an ear-splitting crack, and a surprised moan of agony from besides me. Before I can look, the airbag inflates and prevents me from moving, until I bash my way out of the car, running around the other side, and staring at Seto through the shattered window before me, stained with crimson streams of blood.

Seto Kaiba has been shot.

Yami's koi: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Is that suspense or what?

Neutral Man: yawns nope. Can't say that it is.

Yami's koi: glares anyway. I hope that everyone thinks this is good… I think I know of a certain someone who will kill me for doing that to Seto… glances around room nervously DON'T KILL ME! I THINK SETO FUCKING ROCKS!

Neutral Man: ha-ha! You're gonna die.

Yami's koi: I'm really scared now. I think all my reviews are gonna be bad… cause so many people like Seto! Trust me, Seto's cool! He kicks bloody ass!

Nefertiri: I'm Yami's koi's yami. You're all gonna get shot if you don't review her. If you review her, I might just spare you.

Yami's koi: er, right. Well, please review. And please send me some fan art. Makes voice go sad and lonely I'm a sad and lonely bitch…

Nefertiri: Review or die. She knows it ain't angsty, and it should be, what with Valentines on its way… plushie of Seto goes to reviewers in mourning. An extra black rose for the one who knows who she is…

Yami's koi: yeah, that's right. I'm sorry about the lack of angst and poor excuse for the slitting scene, but it being rewritten didn't want to happen, either. I'm gonna have a Shaman King fic out soon, if you wanna check it out… or not… please review…