Yami's koi: I'm back. Um… PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! Readers pause, brandishing weapons

Readers: WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO SETO!

Yami's koi: when I wrote shot, it doesn't mean to say he died… though that is an interesting thought, ne? Later!

I can hardly move. Ryou would never make a promise with these losers… he is so much better than that. I always ensured that he would make the correct decisions… but it seems that he has gone astray. My precious Ryou has lost his path, and therefore is broken somewhere… without me.

"Please, Bakura, take a seat." Ra repeats, gesturing to a wooden stool. Although I am still displeased with the way things have panned out – like my again postponed reunion with Ryou – I feel that once the explanation has been said, I can then resume killing myself.

"Fine." I hiss, swiftly taking the seat.

Somehow I can predict just how odd… and disturbing this will sound for me.

Yet the person who must truly be pitied is Ryou. I scorn myself yet again for forgetting that it is Ryou who is experiencing whatever shit the Gods have given him to deal with. It is he who roams land so barren and full of darkness that he wishes that he were dead…

"Assuming again, Bakura?" Osiris whispers, calmly taking a place at his lover's left hand side. I growl for a moment, and take a steadying breath.

"What myself and Ryou agreed," Ra begins, carefully selecting every word from his vast vocabulary range, "Was that he would live again."

I snort in disbelief. "If he was alive, then he would undoubtedly be with me. Not with you, or some crazed monster that Anubis has condemned forevermore… but with me."

Osiris smiles delicately. "Oh, believe me, he dearly wishes that he could taste your lips once again. He only wants to be with you… and that is why he agreed to our little… assignment." His voice is steady and calm, like a physiatrists'. His darkened eyes flicker for a moment, yet I can hardly have enough will left within me to translate the emotion scattered throughout the dark orbs.

"And what… this assignment, as you so delicately put it… what does it entail?" I ask, my emotions lightened when Osiris assured me that Ryou wants solely to be with me. For I am the reason why he is enduring the Gods' pathetic trials. I should feel guilty at this, yet to hear also that he wants to taste my lips again… I sigh in bliss.

"Are you fully prepared to hear this, Bakura?" Ra enquires, a suggestive look on his face.

At this I almost scowl: why would I reject to know the information that has eluded me for two days now? I am hardly a patient man, as they are quiet aware of, so surely they should give me at least some credit? Can they not even begin to comprehend the loss of a love to a man!

No. They are almighty Gods, much too high and mighty for anything wrongful and corrupted to pierce through their existences.

As for us mortals… we have to live through famine. We have to endure hardships and agonising sufferings of emotion. We have to experience what it is like to break our fragile bones. We have to feel what it is like to have our hearts breaking when someone close dies. We have to bear raw fear, we have to survive loneliness, we must be betrayed, we must be crushed, we must be depressed, and we must be criticised in every way for the things that we do.

Need I say more…?

Ryou

I do not know how I have survived the journey from just a few blocks from Kaiba Corporation to this hospital. All I know is that I cannot allow Seto to die. I may not have money to pay for major, urgent surgery. Yet Seto does.

I sit in a warm room, with three other families. A small girl – no older than six, at an educated guess - with golden brown hair in pigtails is crying by herself in the corner, whilst a nurse offers comfort through words to a distressed, sobbing mother.

My eyes narrow. Everybody needs solace. I shall not allow this girl to be deprived of such light. For I know myself of what happens when you are stripped of something, and this outcome… is something that I cannot wish upon any one of my enemies.

I stride over to the small girl, wondering what it is that I should say to her. I eventually kneel down beside her, and her shimmering orbs of emerald stare up at me. I smile the most sympathetic of smiles that I can muster, and I sense her form becoming more relaxed already.

"Hey there. I'm Ryou… what's your name?"

She sniffles, and a fresh tear glides down her slightly flushed cheeks.

"My n-name… Tsumi."

I smile softly this time: a reassuring, calm sign of concern. "Why are you here, all alone, Tsumi? Isn't that your parents over there?" I ask, gesturing to the small group nearby. She nods her head: a motion that causes her hair to be sent flying everywhere. I frown as I see a large gash in her temple: it is so open… and so fresh-looking. How can someone be so heartless as to not only forget about the existence of their child, but to also leave such a gaping gash in her poor skull?

"They're m-my parents… b-but I don't understand… h-how can y-you see me?" She whispers, a small finger pointing to herself. Her eyes resemble Yugi's so much that it takes me just a moment to fully comprehend the extent of what she is implying.

Yet then I frown. The poor girl must suffer from some sort of mental illness.

"I don't understand why you are asking me that, Tsumi, but I can see you because you are here in this room, crying, with no one who will talk to you. I think that this is quite unfair, seeing as your parents are supporting everyone but you."

Tsumi stares into my eyes again, and another wave of fresh tears glitter down her face, and my eyes widen.

Her tears should have the texture of wetness. And when they fall from her cheeks, they should fall somewhere. I can see no evidence of tears on neither her skirt nor the floor.

What she next says affirms my conclusions.

"I… I am dead…"

Bakura

"I'm ready, okay? Just let me get Ryou back afterwards, and I'll never threaten you again." I state calmly, as if nothing has ever happened – an act that many mortals use to cover up just how devastated they are.

Ra smiles, yet his orbs change colour slightly. I cannot translate a colour into an emotion, obviously, but I can only assume that a brownish, dark purple mixture resembles both sadness and weariness.

"Have you ever been so depressed that… you care not if you live or die?" Ra then begins softly, after several moments of a serene silence.

I form my lips into a dark smile. "If I had, then I would rather choose the option of death than to live on with no purpose."

Ra blinks for a moment, before continuing… something that he seems to relish when doing.

"Ryou felt exactly the same way… but, of course, everyone occasionally gets down. It just depends on how we get over the dark times, or succumb to the failures, that we develop. As for your hikari… allow me to be more formal. If Ryou had risen above whatever obstacles he had, then that male would have been a very strong hikari, but not nearly as strong as you, his darkness. However… he did something that even we could not predict."

"When Ryou first began to cut himself," Osiris now puts in, with a grave tone, "I could not foresee what he would then do with himself. Could he draw himself free from this spiral of depression, or would he become fatally ill to his -"

"Don't even suggest it, Osiris," I snarl, between gritted teeth. "You… have no idea of what it must have been like for Ryou to go through what you would never even touch upon. I can't… fucking explain how it feels to be depressed. But if you dare to insinuate that Ryou had a mental illness that caused him to slit his wrists… then you are sadly deluded.

"I can't give a fuck about what those bastards say in those labs – cause they have no idea of what it's like to feel low, or so degraded that you just wished that everybody would fuck off, so that you could be alone. I don't give a fuck that they believe that suicidal thoughts are ones connected to mental instability: the people enduring such things know exactly what it is that they are doing, and they have reasons, purposes, goals… all to be attained from a single slash against a wrist.

"But why would you care, or even understand? You Gods care nothing for us mortals, NOTHING! You will never comprehend what it's like to feel your soul mate die before your eyes. You'll never have to experience the completely empty, lonely feeling when you realise that you have no coequal. You'll never feel the agony that you get when you have our hikari ripped from your world, so HOW THE HELL CAN YOU POSSIBLY BEGIN TO REALTE TO WHAT RYOU AND I ARE FEELING?" I scream, releasing all of my frustration into the threats, informing.

Neither of them has moved. Both of their orbs are reacting in such a way that causes my head to spin, but I still hold my ground. The varied shades of sapphire in Ra's eyes seem to darken into one tone: a reaction with which I am equally as baffled with as well as pleased with.

"Have you ever felt betrayed, Bakura?"

"FUCK YOU!" I yell, clutching a dagger from my belt, brandishing it at my newly made foe. "OF COURSE I HAVE FELT BETRAYED, AND LONELY, AND USED, AND FUCKED UP – BUT HAVE YOU! HAVE YOU EVER FELT ANY OF THIS? Forgive me, but I really don't think that… you can fully comprehend what has happened to me… and you are supposed to have control over what happens in my life? Feh! You couldn't even decide if I have ever felt so low about everything… that I considered death.

"Sure, I may be cool headed when I am not like this… but be warned, bastards… anyone who dares to interfere with me and Ryou once more… will never live to see another day. That I swear." I conclude, slamming myself back onto my chair.

The stunned, overwhelming silence… continues.

Ryou

"Tsumi… you're… dead?" I ask, daring her to affirm my suspicions once again. Once hearing those words… I don't want to know anything more.

Or, at least, anything other than why I can see the deceased.

She nods quickly, her eyes narrowed in the form of impatience. "Of course I am! My Mommy and Daddy are over there, my family is going to be upset, and there's nothing I can do to help them! If I could turn back time… then I'd have NEVER got out of bed today. I would have stayed in, and… and…" Her face scrunches up slightly, and I recognise the look in her eyes.

I can barely take such a young individual being in so much pain. So what I do is take her into my arms, a small comforting gesture… yet what I find even odder is that I can touch the poor girl. Whilst I cannot… feel… her skin, or tears, I can sense what I can only assume to be her aura. It is quite mature, even for her tender age… and I attempt to soothe her, stroking the golden locks until her sobbing begins to subside.

"Tsumi, listen to me very carefully. When you see your parents again, they may not recognise you at first. But I want you to do something for me… can you promise me that, Tsumi?" I ask, my emotions quite visible from the way my eyes are looking at her. She nods, her eyes bright. She can, at least, draw somewhat of a smile from me.

"Never stop loving your family. Watch over them when Anubis comes for you, okay? Please… don't become a restless spirit, such as I… I can only hope that you never become as foolish as I once was." I say quietly, my voice suddenly throaty.

Her emerald eyes glisten with fresh tears for a moment, before I sense the cold, piercing stare of Anubis lock onto my back. I turn and, sure enough, the God of the Dead approaches silently, walking directly through Tsumi's parents with an odd sucking noise.

"I have come to take you to the Afterlife, Tsumi," Anubis says gently, in a strangely uncharacteristic manner of caring. The small, but determined girl nods defiantly and, stealing one last glance at me, she slowly climbs into Anubis' arms. The God smiles for a moment, his darkened eyes gleaming for a moment… before I am stirred back into the present events by a calm, soothing voice from the doorway.

"Ryou Bakura?"

I rise to a stand, brushing dust from my clothes, and tears from my eyes. I smile faintly, just enough to assure nearby people that I am with, at least, some hope. I am not fully deprived of innocence. I can still cry at events so pure and tender such as Tsumi's…

All that irks me is at such an age she had to die at. My estimate was that she was younger than six. What dreams that girl must have had… and what dreams she can never be able to fulfil in her next side of life. Still… life must go on in this world…

"Yes?"

Bakura

"I really do not understand how you can even dare to speak to us like that," Osiris mutters coldly, shooting me a piercing glance before continuing, "as we are not perfect ourselves. You think that we ourselves do not have flaws? Many, who are less considerate as you, would hate us for being homosexual. You understand what it is like to keep a secret as great as that. So surely you can then, Bakura, realise why I have become a sinister figure for many years. Three years is a long time to wait for someone. But can you even begin to comprehend my own pain, my pain at watching my love enduring so many curses, and harsh uttering, even by you?

"Can you honestly say which is easier… waiting for someone for over five thousand years, or waiting for someone for what could be less than a day, if only Ryou would figure out our masterpiece?"

Now it is time for me to be silent. His point proven, Osiris falls back to Ra's side, who has not moved a single inch. I sigh heavily.

"Then, if you are not perfect, you must be able to feel pain. Imagine having to live with yourself when your love is the one who is dead… when really it should be you experiencing tormenting agony. Now that…" I swallow hard, biting back tears, "… Is what I call imperfect."

Another brief silence follows. I can only guess that all three of us are silently wishing that we had been made to be perfect, so original and boring that we could scream and no one would hear us… because a scream would be the sound of happiness.

Tears would never represent sadness, but intense emotion of the tender kind. Insults would never be heard, because everyone would love each other.

Come to think of it, that kind of image makes me feel sick.

"Are you ready, Bakura? We can only tell you what you need to hear… if you are entirely sure that you want to know where Ryou is." Ra says softly, brushing strands of hair back from his eyes delicately.

I nod. "I want to know what I am putting my hikari through. At least this way… my mind may be put at ease. To a certain extent."

Osiris nods to his master, and ensures once again that no force can penetrate the walls of seemingly endless, swirling mists around us.

"Bakura… have you ever considered suicide?" Ra asks after a moment, obviously taken to clear his thoughts, and to make his body feel relaxed and calm.

The query takes me a moment to understand, and I blink when it forms a comprehensive, clear version in my mind. What the?

"No. Not… really." I admit. "In Egypt, sure, times were rough for me at times, and I did once think of suicide… but I never actually acted out my plans. I suppose that's the difference between my hikari and me."

"But would you call that difference a weakness on Ryou's part?" Osiris presses me softly, leering at me slightly. I am not intimidated, and I am not impressed, either.

Yet now I consider the question, and wonder. Would I really count giving in like that as a fault?

No. I say that, even if it was the wrong thing to do, taking your own life takes a lot of courage to do. It takes will, it takes strength, it takes great mental tests. Ryou underwent all of these… and all because he felt rejected, neglected… alone.

"No…" I answer slowly, unblinkingly staring into both Gods' orbs. Ra seems to turn slightly, jerking his head as if telling me to continue… yet I feel not in quite the mood to be taking hints.

"Ask me a question and I might carry it out, Ra, but don't just jerk your head at me. I'm not very"

"Calm down, Bakura. Okay, we won't gesture to you anymore. What he meant to ask you… was why you said no, instead of yes," Osiris reasons with me, hurriedly.

I pause for a moment.

"Well, because yes isn't the answer to the question that you asked. In my opinion, anyway." I answer, deliberately acting idiotic. Like I have said a million times before… I haven't the patience for this. I need to know where Ryou is… and what he is doing right now.

I stare unblinkingly into the Gods' eyes, daring them to tell me all. Both seem unfazed, yet Osiris' orbs at least have the decency to darken slightly. He inclines his head towards his lover, his liege, and whispers something to him. Ra seems to be thinking, which is barely possible, in my opinion.

For surely higher beings such as these have been spoon-fed the horrors of what we have endured? Perhaps Osiris and I are more alike than I wish to believe. Yet I know… that he had been through so much more than what Ra has.

As an example, take his wife. Even if the God of Rebirth and Death is now homosexual… he must have once been straight, to have loved and married Isis. And when she left him for Hathor… perhaps it affected him more than what he lets on.

Sure, he would have been devastated. Of course, this can only multiply the need for love… from anyone.

"Bakura." Ra suddenly says, snapping back into reality. My eyes bore into his sapphire orbs, the same look that I used to give Tomb Keepers in my previous life.

"Yes?"

Ra smiles slightly, and leans back on his chair. "What is it that you want from us, Bakura?"

Now this takes me aback for a moment. What the hell! Surely it is obvious? They began by telling me that they would inform me of Ryou's whereabouts, then completely lose it and enquire as to what I wish to know?

This kind of shit… is one that I cannot stand. Yet somehow, the soothing, relaxed face of Ryou in my memories stays my anger. It is restrained now, restrained by someone who I love.

The… only… person who I love.

"What I want…" I begin, as if trying to give the question some thought, "Hmmm… well, how about you telling me where Ryou is, and how long it will take him to get back to me?"

Ryou

I exit the hospital building; my surroundings oddly dim, despite it being a quarter past four.

I have just been to see Seto Kaiba. Various tubes run into his veins, giving him both food and blood. For once, it is his impressive form that radiates weakness, frailness and a sense of complete loss. Although he could not speak very much, he extended his hand… and into my own; he placed the keys and security codes for access into his mansion.

Yet this is not the most bizarre of things that he has done today. As I was leaving, he said thus:

"Please… look after my brother… he is… well, you can understand how he is, right? I'm sure… you can take care of him for me… Ryou…"

Why can't his own brother take care of himself? Should I prepare myself for yet another shocking revelation in this universe of misery and corruption… or should I offer this place the benefit of the doubt?

Of course… I must answer with a no. There has been too much disorder, and I fear that secrets… secrets best kept in the dark, are about to be shone into the light.

Yami's koi: okay, that's not as long as it could have been, but this definitely needed to be updated, right?

Nefertiri: right… you can rest now… puts down Millennium Rod

Malik: hey…

Neutral Man: this is so GAY! I can't believe you expect reviews for this!

Yami's koi: well, Neutral Man, screw you! Who CARES what you think, when you always try to slag me down about every little thing that I do?

Neutral Man: whoa… Yami's koi…

Nefertiri: yeah, you heard the lady… BACK OFF!

Yami's koi: right, this is the deal. If you review me, you get plushies and a new chapter. If you mail me some fan art, you get a chapter dedication. Isn't that fair? Okay. The plushie for this chapter shall be… a scowling, evil looking, blood-covered Bakura.

Readers: BLOOD!

Yami's koi: yep. So… please R&R? Onegai? …