Wow! Guys seriously thanks so much for the outstanding feedback! I honestly didn't think it would get this much support! I want to thank particularly two people: I-Believe-In-The-Butterflies – Omg, thanks so much! You have always been so supportive of my writing. I really, really appreciate knowing that someone is interested in what I have to say. Right from "After the Deluge" you reviewed. So thanks so much! You rock! Secondly to xGoingUnderx – thanks so much for the meaty reviews! I really mellow to the fact that someone can right 200 words on my work! It's really great so thanks so much!

Okay, sorry for the mush, but I felt that I should say something. On with the story shall we? I thought I might mention: assume that Seth and Summer are still together and Seth wasn't a bum in Miami. This chapter focuses on Marissa's deteriorating state, and introduces the effect it's beginning to have on the people she loves. I hope it's ok! Thanks again! I'll stop blabbing now! Hehe!

Disclaimer – I don't own the OC.

Ryan cocked his eyebrow when no reply came from the other end. He stood there in the poolhouse, his cell phone to his ear. He'd tried contacting Marissa on hers but the line wasn't connecting. It was weird, Marissa treated that cell like the Bible. It wasn't like her not answer, let alone for it to be out of range. Must be a perfectly valid reason, he thought.

He was so happy to be home again. Miami had been fun, but Sandy's issue with The Nana had definitely put a dampener on the mood. His foster dad had been somewhat sombre during the flight home and Ryan knew all too well what it felt like to have to deal with prying people when all you wanted to do was think in your own private world.

Not only that, but he was also looking forward to spending the rest of the vacation with Marissa. He had naturally felt slightly guilty about leaving her on only the first weekend of them being back together. They'd waited so long to be with each other and he was determined to make it work this time, no matter what got in the way. So much shit had happened this year. They'd both made mistakes, and Ryan couldn't help but wonder how things might have played out if only he hadn't returned to Chino last summer. He'd sighed sorrowfully on many an occasion, remembering the look on Marissa's face when they'd shared their final moments together at her Mom's wedding. He was often haunted in his dreams remembering how she'd told him she loved him. She'd clung to him like a child, crying into his shoulder, not ever wanting to let go. And yet, he hadn't answered her. If only…

But now, it seemed, those open wounds of last summer were finally beginning to mend, and he thought of Seth and laughed. Maybe the Fantastic Four would be fantastic again.

After all… nothing was in the way anymore…

"You there, 'Riss?" he spoke into the phone and laughed slightly.

Finally the voice on the other end of the line replied, "…what? Oh, hey! H-how are you going? How was Miami?" Marissa asked. Ryan noted she sounded awfully hassled for some reason. She sounded out of breath or something. But then Ryan thought that she and Summer must have had another cardio session with the Workout Tapes, and he quickly brushed away his slight worry.

"Yeah, it was good," Ryan said cheerily, "It was nice to see The Nana again, and yeah, it was fun."

"Oh… that's great!" she sounded restrained… like she was making an effort not say much… There came a silence before Ryan spoke again.

"So! How was your weekend? Did Trey manage to find a job?" he was genuinely happy for his big brother. He'd screwed up so much in his life. Mostly it was because their Mom was always so gone - either drunk or doped up – that she was unemployable. In the Chino Days, Trey did everything he could to come up with the doe to pay the bills and would use Ryan as his guinea-pig. Eight years of stealing, cheating and needle-pushing had finally came back to haunt him when he'd been thrown in jail. But now, Chino was behind both of them and Trey was given the same second chance Ryan had been given.

The Atwood Pool of Luck was finally turning tables, and after all these years, Ryan felt he was nearly ready to forgive…

But for a moment that seemed to stretch longer than the usual second, Marissa said nothing at all.

"M-my weekend? Uh, yeah, it was good. Yep… Trey… got a gig at the Bait Shop. He's uh – really excited about it." Ryan could have sworn he heard Marissa give a small whimper. Her breath sounded as if it was breaking, like she was trying hard not to cry.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked at last, "You sound… a little stressed."

"Huh? Oh yeah! I'm fine!" then she gave a short giggle, "I just, uh, I stumped my toe in the door and it's killing me!" her voice shuddered a second time.

"Ouch. I hate it when that happens," he replied, relieved. "So did you guys have a little celebration or something?"

"Celebration?" Marissa's voice seemed to rise half-an-octave, "Oh! Yes, I made him sit through "The Notebook"."

Ryan groaned and shook his head lovingly, "Oh crap, not that one! I think you woke me up about four times in that one. I think it was nearly worse than "A Walk to Remember"!"

"Yeah… well…" Ryan thought she was about to say something more, but then she desisted. There was another suspended pause.

"Uh… you know… I really oughta go now. I'm – uh - going over to Summer's soon so..."

Ryan's heart fell slightly and he was disappointed, "Oh. I was about to come over and see you."

"Oh? Well, uh, then we'll have to organise a time." Marissa replied slowly… like she was reluctant in the first place… but again, Ryan ignored his girlfriend's peculiar behaviour.

"Umm, well how about tonight then?" Ryan checked the current time - a-quarter-to-two, "Dinner at seven? I'll drive"

For the third or fourth time Marissa seemed to heave back a sob until she answered, "O-okay. Sure thing." Another silence. "Well, I'll see you tonight then."

Ryan frowned, unsure why Marissa was being so reserved all of a sudden. Must have hit her toe hard, he thought, "Okay, bye then. I love you."

Another pause.

"…love you too." And Marissa hung up.

Ryan stood in the poolhouse, still holding the phone to his ear. He couldn't help but feel that something wasn't quite right. He tried to tell himself that she was probably just busy… but, something inside was telling him differently…

Oh well, he thought. Talking over the phone without seeing her face was hardly something to go by. He'd see her that night and he wouldn't have to worry again… he hoped…

X

Marissa thought she was about to drop the phone when she heard Ryan's voice on the other end of the line. A new bout of painful sobs jabbed into her throat and more tears immediately rimmed her eyes. Her wrists burned with stinging pain and she hadn't had time to wipe the new wounds. Hot scarlet blood seeped from the slits.

She was so shocked of what to do that she didn't know what to say to him. She simply stood there, her head spinning uncontrollably, the emotion and pain about ready to explode her broken shaking body.

"You there, 'Riss?" Ryan asked kindly with a laugh.

Finally she forced herself out of her blistering reverie and replied. It took her every muscle keep her voice as normal as possible.

"…what? Oh, hey! H-how are you going? How was Miami?" she figured if she asked a question she wouldn't have to talk as much.

There was a slight pause from Ryan before he returned, "Yeah, it was good. It was nice to see the Nana again, and yeah, it was fun."

Her heart was beating at an incredible speed. She began to feel sick in the stomach, but still she spoke, "Oh… that's great!" It was all she could manage.

She peered down at her wrists. Her hands were streaked with blood and the skin around the wounds was beginning to itch, almost beyond endurance.

"So! How was your weekend?" Marissa cursed at herself. It sounded as if Ryan was growing suspicious. Then he asked the question Marissa had been dreading like she was dreading her own death:

"Did Trey manage to find a job?"

Her whole body went numb at the mention of the name. Her mind seemed to turn to stone. She was paralysed and the lump began to scrape against her throat. For a moment all she felt were the hot blinding tears running freely from her eyes. But she needed to say something… anything! She needed to keep him convinced.

"M-my weekend? Uh, yeah, it was good. Yep…" she began to tremble. Suddenly, the numbness wore off and the pain returned in her body, but this time more painful than she ever remembered it. "Trey…" despite her efforts, a weak whimper escaped her voice. Then she felt a shudder ripple up her spine, but she needed to keep going "…got a gig at the Bait Shop. He's uh – really excited about it." the words sickened her to the pits of her stomach.

There was a pause from Ryan's side of the line and Marissa got all the more worried.

And then came those three words she was dreading to hear: "Are you okay?"

Her heart sank even deeper.

"You sound… a little stressed."

Marissa racked her brains for a plausible excuse. Her veins tied in suffocating knots.

"Huh? Oh yeah! I'm fine!" she gave what he thought was a small laugh, "I just, uh, I stumped my toe in the door and it's killing me!" This was pathetic! He would never buy that! Nice going! And her breath trembled. Ryan must have heard that, she cursed herself again.

But to her absolute relief, Ryan believed her… or seemed to at least, "Ouch. I hate it when that happens. So did you guys have a little celebration or something?"

The word struck at her painfully. "Celebration?" and like that, the memories had returned. Fresh and more terrifying than her recent nightmare, more tears bled from her eyes when she remembered the traumatic ordeal. The act was near-impossible to keep up. She needed to get out of it soon, or things could go very wrong.

Quickly she spoke again, "Oh! Yes, I made him sit through "The Notebook"."

She heard Ryan groan before he replied jokingly, "Oh crap, not that one! I think you woke me up about four times in that one. I think it was nearly worse than "A Walk to Remember"!"

"Yeah… well…" it was all she could muster, as the sadness was so strong. She envied Ryan so much. He sounded so happy. He was so caring, so loving. More than anything she just wished she could tell him. He didn't deserve this. The silent tears rolled down her cheeks. The more she talked with him, the more she understood how very alone she was. Oh, if only…

She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't keep doing this to him.

"Uh… you know… I really oughta go now. I'm – uh - going over to Summer's soon so..." the lie made her feel ill, but it was nothing to what else she was going through.

"Oh. I was about to come over and see you." Ryan sounded disappoint and this made her weep more. More than anything she wanted the same. But she just couldn't…

"Oh? Well, uh, then we'll have to organise a time." She didn't know what else to say. But she immediately regretted saying it.

"Umm, well how about tonight then? Dinner at seven? I'll drive"

What should she say? If she said 'yes', she'd have to endure all this again, she would have to tell so many lies. She would have to pretend. But she said 'no' he would get all the more suspicious. Her head raced.

"O-okay. Sure thing." She paused to allow the falling tears consume her for just a moment. "Well, I'll see you tonight then."

"Okay, bye then. I love you."

She couldn't see anymore. The salty tears were so heavy. She sunk deeper into the choking darkness.

"…Love you too" she'd never meant it, and yet regretted it, so strongly at the same time. The words were nearly impossible to mutter.

And finally she placed the phone back to the cradle. She collapsed to the ground and cried gut-fully. She dropped her head into her hands and felt the temped wetness of her tears leak through her fingers. When she rose, the air stung her eyes.

She looked at her wrists. They were bloodsoaked, but now the pain was gone and all she felt was the slight calming sensation.

She was losing it. She knew it in her heart but she couldn't stop. How the hell was she going to face him? Everything was just… falling to pieces.

She stumbled to her feet, ignoring the protesting pain that spiralled from her torso. She walked slowly into the bathroom and closed the door and locked it.

She may as well finish what she started.

Okay, thanks for reading! Hope it was ok!