The Dream: Luci's Destiny: Chapter Fourteen
Happy Birthday Jaderabbit! Happy birthday Jaderabbit! Yay! Thanks for your help!!! (You too Sierra and Sophie!!)
I don't own YYH.... or anthing else
This chapter was made to understand how everyone felt (mainly Luci).... my beta did a lot with this story (more than usual... so thanks) Luci has mixed feelings... if you get confused. Please Read & Review!!!
Chapter Fourteen: Painful Memories
-Flashback: Luci's POV-
There is no way he is going to whip me unconscious with that thing... No way... He wouldn't DARE...
"Don't try to hurt me. You'll be sorry. You better not. Hiei, don't even think about bringing that thing close to me." Was that the wrong thing to say? Uh-oh... He looks so mad...I hope I didn't...
I could see that Hiei was obviously disgusted at my selfishness... I can't help it! I really can't! In fact, I'm sick of this! I'm sick of all this: "I'm a little goody-goody two-shoe."
I've always wondered if one day, if I could just change my personality so I didn't have to mask anything. If I just totally changed my personality and said: "HAHA SUCKERS! You just got duped, because the me before wasn't me at all!" Then they'd probably all look at me like I was high or something... So, I've considered it an experiment. You know, like an unknown potion that could either kill you... or change you, but you'd never know until you tried it yourself. I've shied away from this experiment although I'm really sick of this.
"Don't say that!" my hardly-considered brother said. "That's not going to help your situation at all!"
"Shut up, Yusuke!" I yelled. Oh crap... bad start, oh well, let it go...
"Don't try to tell me how to act. I'm really sick of listening to you. Maybe I am a greedy good-for-nothing and care for no one but myself. But, I've tried really hard to deal with this world of even more selfish people, like you! I didn't mean to start accusing... "Have you ever thought of spending time with me? NO! It was all, "throw my sister away and have a great time leaving her in the dark." You are NO better than I am, so you aren't to lecture me. What I've concluded is that in this world you have to be yourself and defend yourself and your beliefs if you want to survive."
I turned to Hiei. Let's try something...I need to get myself out of this mess before I get hurt...but do I really care? I'd gladly die if I could be understood properly... or would I? Just remember...number one rule: act tough.
"I'm not asking for any pity, Hiei. I'll shed no tears over what you think or what your decision may be. I no longer care. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm tired of everyone thinking of me as a goody-goody two shoe! That's not who I am! I am me, not to be stereotyped or taken for granted. I won't ever be anyone else, so don't expect me to be anyone else. I want to live a life being known for my true life, or die a life knowing that I never covered up who I really am."
Oh gosh that sounded cheesy..."I never wanted to live in the first place; anyways, what's so great about being alive? My life never went the way I wanted it to be. I hate it! I hate it all! Screw it to hell! Maybe you thought I never cared?! Of course I care! I care so much that it's painful! I want to forget! Do you have any idea how it feels to be me? Even if you whip me to death, I don't care anymore, I'm going to forget it, forget it all. Bring it on, Hiei."
Crap... he must be mad, really mad...that was totally the wrong thing to say. I was frightened, but there was no way I was going to let anyone know that.
I braced myself for the first blow, but it never came. In fact, it seemed like no one noticed my confession at all. Hiei still looked the same, and in fact, YUSUKE, the freak didn't seem to notice at all! They actually started to talk again, like I didn't exist! That hurt... it hurt a lot. The fat guy started to mock Hiei again. They... They... didn't notice me at all! It's like I'm invisible! Did they not believe me? Fine! I'll have to move to something more convincing.
"What's up with the gay screen?" Heh, this will get them.
"What was that?" Uh-oh... The fat guy was getting mad... pfft... who cares, I'm tired of this anyways.
"I said, what's with your gay screen? It's ugly and its just plain lame."
"Don't you insult my screen!" Is that loser telling me what to do?!?
"Hmph." I spat onto the screen to show it. I was mad just as well. Why couldn't I be mad? Was I just some nice person that couldn't ever rebel? That fat guy had no right hanging me like this, and his lame screen was just plain insulting.
"Why you little... you're going to pay for that."
Huh? This guy wouldn't REALLY blow me up, would he? Uh...well... actually he probabl would. He plays cruel games for fun...cruel games are NOT fun. I was beginning to get worried. Was this what I really wanted? Did I really want my body spewing all over the place? I'm not sure I wanted to die at the moment. What was I doing? I wasn't dead yet, but I had already started, and once I started, I couldn't stop.
"Well you never did say that if I did anything to the screen that you would blow anyone up, now did you?" Here I stuck my tongue out.
Dumb screen thingy, what was so great about it anyways? That just freaked me out! How was this whole place commanded by screens?
I bet you can't even—"
"DON'T INSULT MY SCREEN YOU DISGUSTING BITCH!" I didn't think that he would have been that mad; after all, it was just a screen.
"What can you do? It's stupid, lame, ugly, gay—just like you, annoying, dumb- AHHHH!"
AHHHHHHHHHHH! It hurts! It doesn't seem to stop! Why isn't my brother doing anything? Don't they care? It hurts!
The rain pelts my body,
Tired and worn
The wind howls around me,
Lost and forlorn.
I felt the electricity intensify and soon it was more than just pain, I could feel it killing me. It hurt... so much....
They're just standing there, staring! IT HURTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Why?! Do they not care? Do they want me to suffer here? All alone?
I'm Alone
I'm alone... That's it! They don't care about me! That's why they ignore me, why Hiei wanted to whip me, why my brother left me...
Viewer's POV:
Painful memories flooded back to Luci.
-FLASHBACK-
"Mom! Where is Yusuke? Where is he? Mama?!" an eleven-year-old Luci asked, tugging at her mother's shirt, unaware that said mother was totally drunk.
"SHUT UP! Go away LUCI! LEAVE! GET OUT!" Atsuko screamed at her daughter in a drunken rage, after all, Yusuke just "died."
"Mama?! Where is he?"
"ARHH! GO AWAY" Atsuko pushed her outside onto the front stoop and slammed the door behind her.
"Mama..." Luci sobbed, twisting the locked doorknob.
"Mommy!!"
So that's why she threw me out...
-Another FLASHBACK-
"AHAHAH! Smarty-tardy goody-goody Luci! What? You actually want to sit with US? You're too smart for us. You don't belong here!"
One of Luci's classmates teased when a twelve-year-old version of Luci had prepared to sit down next to the girl.
"No, you can't sit here!" Another classmate pushed her lunch tray off the table, knocking the food on the floor. One of the teachers saw it and came running over.
"Michael! You did not just knock her tray off! SILENT LUNCH!" The teacher scolded the child some more. After the long harangue, the poor boy walked with his tray to a lonely desolate table.
"Now look what you did, Luci!" A girl named Alexis hissed. "We go out! We have to sit together!"
"I—I'm sorry," Luci said half-lying. I am so not sorry! That was totally his fault! How dare he knock my tray down? What a stuck up loser...
"Go sit with Megan and her friends!" One shouted at her. Megan and her friends were school freaks. No one doubted that they were lesbians, even Luci.
"What?" Luci said. Ok...maybe I'm stuck up too, but that doesn't matter. At least I'm nice to people.
Someone kicked her in the butt. "I said sit with the lezzies! That's where you belong!"
"You deserve to eat on the floor!" Another shouted.
How dare they...I wish I could do something... Yusuke's sitting over there at that other table. I know he sees me, but he has to keep his cool...is that how things are now?? Why??
That's why no one helped me...
-FLASHBACK END-
More images ran through Luci's mind, when Yusuke ignored her, when Hiei kidnapped her, more and more...
Luci's POV:
None of them cared...at all...I was...all alone...
I walk through memories,
Painful and sad
Thinking wistfully of things
That I always wished I had.
Memories, alone.
As I thought about this, the electricity strengthened more and more, and it left scorch marks all over my body. It hurt... but my heart hurt more... The reason why I'm yelling is purely physical... I just can't stop it... They... never cared at all... Maybe I should give into the shock, just let it take over, and I'll become one big shock and... burst...
I know I sound pathetic,
I also know why,
But no one cares about me,
It's better if I die
All alone.
Suddenly, I feel strong, warm hands grab mine, trying to break through the shackles.
I open my eyes and look straight into fiery crimson orbs. Hiei?! Why? He doesn't seem to notice that the electricity is leaving marks on his skin as well; he just continues to struggle with the shackles... Is he doing this... for me?
The wind dies down,
The rain stops the pelting
The gentle breeze blows by,
My icy heart is melting.
All I need... is a little care.
Does he care about me? No, he couldn't... But I looked into those eyes, and I saw something that shocked me. Panic. I've never seen Hiei panic like this. Is he really worried about me? Does he... Does he care? Is my life actually worth living?
The electricity begins to drain me...
I look to my side and see the blue-haired girl...smiling...why was she smiling? Why does everyone hate me?? I look at my brother...his lips are moving—in anger. What did I do? Why does he hate me so much? I'm sorry...I hurt everyone so much...I really am...but will they accept my apology? No...I can't be sorry...I have to go on...
I don't know if I'm dying or not... But if I do die, I'll be happy...that maybe... just maybe, someone, or some people... care... about...me.
The wind is my comforter,
Holding me tight,
Whispering words of confidence
Easing the pain, the bite.
The light is my healer,
Healing all my cuts
Opening the doors of hope,
that long ago were shut
I'm not alone,
Even if no one cares
I'm not alone,
Even if the pain goes on,
I'll go on too.
Hiei's POV:
I was almost astounded as she became silent. Her body fell limp, and her long, dark hair was sizzled and loosely held up with a single band. Quickly I checked for a heartbeat. It was faint, but still there. I found it just like her to still be alive after all that. Stubborn as ever. But I cannot forgive Yoshiro so easily. No, I'm going to kill him...with my own hands... I must agree with Luci; that screen—it's horrendous. That fat man can't do anything. He's just a face on a screen...I'll think I'll...yes... and I never regret anything.
I hope I didn't make any mistakes. ... Thanks Jaderabbit.
Thanks:
Rogueicephoenix: yay! Susssspense .. hehe
Lily: Thank you for reviewing!
IrishKitsune: Haha... you're sure hyper... thanks for reviewing
The Muses Tk and Zv: Where did you get your info? If you go to Google and search for Yusuke or something... it says he's 5'8" , which is four inches taller than Luci... I think... Thanks for reviewing!
JoEbLoG: Thanks for Reviewing!!!