[I]Part 19[/I]
"Good morning!" Alex managed to avoid grimacing at the cheesy cheer in his own voice. He couldn't help it if he still wasn't entirely comfortable around Kate and her companions though. He didn't care how well things had gone the evening before. It was still weird to be hanging out with people who had tried to kill his friends only yesterday.
While he knew for sure that they were not evil, he and Liz were engaged in a delicate balancing act at the moment. They were trying to pretend to side with Will, Kate and Jack and, yet, they were also trying to protect Max, Isabel, Michael and Tess too. The two goals were not compatible.
But, at the moment, as his eyes met Kate's weary blue gaze, he couldn't help but hope that soon they would be.
Things [I]had[/I] gone well the night before. He had spent a pleasant enough hour watching T.V. with Jack and Kate. It had been a strange thing to do, but had also served to make them more comfortable with him. He had already liked Jack after all. By the time Liz and Will joined them, he and Jack had been back to bantering, this time insulting various stars on the television rather than their fellow classmates. Kate was more quiet, but she had not seemed unduly resistant to his presence either.
The fact that Courtney had just sat there the entire time was strange. Alex decided not to ask why she was there. He wanted to make Kate and Jack trust him after all. If he started interrogating them right away, it would take more time. Besides, the Skin girl had not seemed to be in any danger, nor had she seemed scared. She just sat on the bed, listening to their inane chatter, but not trying to join in. It wasn't until he had been lying in his bed later, thinking about the evening, that it had dawned on Alex that Courtney was completely resigned to her death. She wasn't even attempting to connect on any level with anyone anymore. She wasn't going to help either side willingly. Her allegiance was only to Michael and now that she knew that he would never betray Max, she just didn't care about any of it. She wasn't keeping any secrets, but she wasn't helping any of them either. For the first time, Alex felt sorry for her.
For the first time he felt sorry for [I]all[/I] the Skins. What must it be like to know that your days were numbered, that you were going to simply shred away into nothing? These people were on Earth, fighting a secret war that, in many ways, was not about them at all. And now they were going to die because of it. War sucked. While intellectually Alex had realized it before, he knew it for fact now. It was started by people in power, but it was the little guy who always paid the price. Even if took two separate life-times.
When he and Liz finally drove back to town in the wee hours of the morning, Liz had related the gist of her conversation with Will. It seemed that he bought that Liz remembered him. In fact, he had even given her something that he said belonged to her in her past life. Liz spent the ride home fingering the delicate piece of fabric that was tied around her wrist, not really focused on it, but obviously connected to it.
"It's weird Alex," she said quietly at one point. "It's only a little piece of cloth, but, it's like, finally, for the first time, I'm about to find out who I really am. I know what Will tells me and what Max [I]showed[/I] me, but now I feel like I'm about to find out for myself."
"Are you remembering?" Alex asked, concerned. This had not been part of the plan after all, having Liz [I]remember[/I] being an alien. He wasn't entirely comfortable with that proposition. He felt deep down that there was a reason that she didn't remember, a reason that she was more human than the rest of them. He had no idea what that reason could be, but somehow he just knew it. Hadn't the fact that Kate, Will and Jack [I]did[/I] remember, only made things worse? Even if he and Liz did somehow manage to broker a deal between Will and Max, in the end, it still wouldn't be entirely safe. Because, even if they came to a tentative trust, somewhere inside of them, Will, Kate and Jack would always remember what Zan had done. They might be able to get past it, might be able to understand that Max was not to blame, but they would always remember. And how could any sort of truce really exist in those circumstances?
"Not really," Liz replied, sounding distant. "I can't explain [I]what[/I] I feel. I just know that nothing is as it seems."
Alex frowned, but didn't ask anything more. He knew that a piece of cloth could not put Liz in any danger. He was worried about her, but they were both driving home, safe and in one piece, and, for now, it had to be enough.
It was why he had found himself reassuring Max when his friend had called him in the middle of the night. It seemed that Liz had been a little weird on the phone with him. But Alex knew that sometimes things had to get a little weird in order for them to get any answers. Liz had been as normal as she ever was - at least since Max had healed her the year before. He told Max that she was just tired, had wondered if it was a mistake after he hung up, but ended up deciding that it wasn't. They had to give the plan time to work. It wasn't the best plan in the world, but it was the only one they had that didn't involve alien powers and blasting and killing.
It was a delicate balancing act all right.
And, yet, as he grinned at Kate now, he felt a new sense of purpose, a sense that it would all be worth it in the long run. That this [I]was[/I] going to work. Because, in the end, these were all good people and none of them really wanted this strife to continue if it didn't have to.
"What are you doing here?" Kate asked, yawning. "Didn't you just leave?"
"Well, I could take that as an insult," Alex replied. "But I won't. I know we all had a late night last night."
Kate's eyes narrowed. "You are entirely too chipper for someone who insisted on staying over until the late, late movie ended. And it wasn't even good!"
"[I]Attack of the Killer Tomatoes[/I] is a classic," Alex argued good- naturedly. "Jack agreed with me. Even Will got into the spirit of it after he and Liz had dealt with all their angst."
"That's because guys don't know good cinema." Alex blinked as Courtney emerged from the bathroom, directly behind Kate. Kate stepped aside to allow Alex to enter. "I've been on enough crappy dates to know that by now."
"You date?" Alex asked before he could stop himself.
"I've been on this God-forsaken rock for fifty years," Courtney snapped, crossing the motel room to the mirror over the dresser. Alex tried not to grimace as she leaned in and peeled a layer of skin off her cheek. He felt Kate flinch beside him. "I had to do something to pass the time."
"You seem to be feeling better this morning," Alex ventured tentatively. "I called Michael and told him where you were, like you asked. He [I]was[/I] worried."
Courtney's expression softened. "I knew he would be. He's such a sweetheart."
Alex raised an eyebrow. [I]Sweetheart[/I] and Michael Guerin were not two terms that he would have ever associated with each other.
"Why is she still here?" Alex whispered to Kate as Courtney returned to the bathroom, a bottle of moisturizer tucked under her arm. He felt his gag reflex kicking in as he realized that she was leaving a trail of dead skin in her wake. Kate seemed to realize this, because she quickly waved her hand and it all disintegrated.
"She knows that Rath won't reveal the granolith's location out of loyalty to Zan," Kate whispered back. "While she hasn't turned against Rath, it would appear that she isn't entirely ready to give up her life for him. I told her last night that our first goal is to find it. I think she wants to live."
Which would explain Courtney's sudden change of disposition, Alex thought, a lump in his throat. This was not the same resigned girl of the night before.
"The granolith can help her?" Alex asked nervously.
Kate's head turned, her eyes speculative. "Didn't you know that?"
"No. We don't know much about it," Alex admitted.
"But you [I]do[/I] know where it is?"
[I]Smooth move Whitman.[/I] The disdainful voice in the back of his head was back and it was pissed. "Er, well, I know that it exists. I don't know where it is." Which was only the truth of course. He knew the others had found it, but they hadn't told him where it was specifically because he had never asked. He wondered why he felt guilty for not confirming to Kate that Max and the others [I]did[/I] know where it was though. Maybe it was because of the way her expression fell, which, for some reason, made his heart hurt.
"Too bad," Kate sighed. "Because it's all we really want. If Zan really doesn't remember, if he really just wants to stay here.Well, telling us where the granolith is - it would be the smoothest way to a truce. In fact, it would be the quickest truce in the history of truces."
Alex frowned. "What is the granolith anyway? Why is it so important?" He decided not to tell Kate what he already knew - that it had once been modified to be used as a time machine. Those secrets were not his to tell. He and Liz were here to [I]get[/I] information after all, not to give it out, despite the fact that he was beginning to feel worse about it with every minute he spent in Kate's company.
"It's hard to explain," Kate replied. "It has many uses. But a major one is that it has healing capabilities. It can renew life. It's why we need it so badly - to save our people."
Alex stared at her. "Are you telling me that it can bring people back from the dead?"
"In a way, yes." Kate shrugged. "It zeroes in on the problem and fixes it. Our people can't survive on Earth without their skins. The granolith could fix that."
"No wonder Nicholas is so desperate to get his hands on it." Alex shook his head. He paused, then continued, "I'm sorry I don't know where it is."
Kate smiled slightly. "I believe that Alex. And I'm sorry too." Her eyes were sad though. "Do you think that it would change things if Zan knew this? Do you think he would tell us where it is?"
"To save the Skins?" Alex asked, surprised. "Kate, they tried to kill them!"
"Only for us," Kate replied heatedly. "They're innocent Alex. They were only following orders."
So were the Nazis, he thought. Or so they said anyway. Alex narrowed his gaze. "Your orders?"
"Well." She trailed off, finally admitted, "No. We didn't know they had been found until after the Harvest was destroyed."
"Isn't that kind of weird? They've known where to find Max and the others for a long time Kate. Liz was hired by Whittaker for a few weeks because she knew she was close to him. They obviously knew who he was. Why wouldn't they tell you? Isn't Will their leader?"
Kate frowned, but didn't reply. Alex could see that she was becoming upset. Not for the first time, Alex began to wonder if perhaps the Skins didn't have an agenda of their own - one that didn't include their own royals. And perhaps Kate was beginning to wonder the same thing, if the expression on her face was any indication.
"Why are you here?" She finally asked, shaking her head firmly, as though trying to clear it of doubt.
"Liz asked me to come pick you all up. She wants me to bring you to the Crashdown for breakfast." He shrugged, when Kate's eyes widened in surprise. "That's Liz."
Kate smiled again. "It sounds like Rowena. She was always bullying everyone into taking care of themselves." Alex felt a shiver descend his spine. He wondered if he was ever going to get used to the fact that she was referring to Liz. It was just too weird that his best friend was suddenly someone with a whole past none of them even knew about. He was used to it with Isabel, Max and the others, but Liz had always been the grounding force in his life - she defined normal. The fact that, suddenly, none of them really knew who she was.It was upsetting in a way he couldn't really explain - even to himself.
He forced himself to push his fear aside for the moment. He had to keep acting normally. It was the only way to keep the balancing act going. Alex knocked lightly on the bathroom door. "Are you coming?"
"Yup," Courtney replied. "I need to talk to Michael. I didn't know for sure before that the granolith could heal me. He'll help me once he knows."
"He won't help you if he thinks you're just going to turn around and tell us," Kate reminded her gently.
"I won't tell you," Courtney said evenly. "I'm sorry, but I was brought here against my will. Whatever you thought, I haven't changed my mind. If I can save my life, great. But I won't betray him."
"Then you're of no more use to us."
Alex felt someone brush past him, knocking him to the side. It was only then that he realized that the door was still open. He heard Kate exclaim, "Jack!" What happened next was so sudden, it took him a moment to even understand what he was seeing.
Jack had Courtney's blonde hair wrapped around his hand, was twisting her head so that her neck was exposed. Alex moved forward as he realized that this could [I]not[/I] be a good thing.
And, the next thing he knew, Courtney was gone. Well, not completely gone. A pile of dust swirled in the place where she had stood.
"Jack!" Kate exclaimed in horror. "What have you done?"
"We don't have time for traitors," Jack replied darkly. "She was a liability. I brought her here so that she could see the error of her ways, maybe go back and get us some information. Now that we know for sure that's not going to happen, keeping her around is pointless."
Alex realized that his mouth had fallen open in horror. He closed it abruptly, wished that he could stop his heart from beating a terrified tattoo against his chest.
How had he forgotten so easily that these people were dangerous? He took a quick step backwards, wondered if he should just turn and start running.
"You had no right to do that!" Kate was yelling now. "You don't have the authority to take matters into your own hands! What on Earth is wrong with you?"
"The fact that I'm [I]stuck[/I] on Earth is what's wrong with me!" Jack yelled back. "I'm tired Kate! We're so close but it's still beyond our reach. I'm just tired of it."
"You [I]killed[/I] someone," Kate whispered, the change in tone so abrupt, it made Alex turn to look at her. He felt slightly better that she seemed as shocked as he was by what Jack had just done. How could this be the same guy he had spent time going over the finer points of Baywatch with the night before?
"This is a war," Jack reminded her, his voice now gentle. "She was a traitor. Our people need to know that we will protect them, but only as far as they protect us."
"Who are you?" Alex blinked when he realized that Kate had taken a step back too, was now slightly behind him, as though she was terrified. "You are [I]not[/I] Jack."
Jack's eyes widened. "I am so."
"You're not. Who [I]are[/I] you?" Kate demanded, her voice rising. "Will! Will, get in here!" Alex's head was now ringing because she had screamed almost directly into his ear. He wondered if it was wrong that he sort of felt kind of pleased that she thought [I]he[/I] of all people could protect her.
Or was he so insignificant, she somehow knew that Jack would never even bother to hurt him?
"Will!" Kate screamed again.
Jack's lip curled. "Call your precious king," he snarled, his mask falling away entirely. "He's as weak as Zan is. You're all so stupid. Keep fighting amongst yourselves. It's only a matter of time now."
With that, he turned on his heel and strode from the room, brushing past Will, who had finally appeared. He still had shaving cream on his face, which only accentuated the fact that none of these people had had any idea of the enemy in their midst.
"What the." Will turned his head, watched the Jack impersonator sprint away. "What's going on?"
Alex swallowed, put an arm around Kate's shoulders comfortingly. She was trembling. "Jack," she whimpered. "That wasn't Jack Will."
And, with those words, Alex knew that the rules of this game had just changed again.
***************************
She awoke, her eyes gradually adjusting to the unfamiliar ceiling above her. She knew that she [I]should[/I] recognize it. It had been her ceiling for the sixteen years she had existed on this planet after all. This morning though, she felt like she was seeing it with brand new eyes. As she sat up and looked around Liz Parker's bedroom, she felt her heart beginning to beat more quickly. The realization that she was no longer Liz was only accentuated by the fact that this no longer felt like home.
She forced herself to rise, moved to the vanity and picked up the photograph of Liz, Maria and Alex that sat there. She knew that until she adjusted, she needed to keep the facade of Liz's world intact. She needed to remember that these were her best friends, that Alex in particular was her ally in the game she was supposed to be playing with Khivar. It was sheer irony that because of the plan she had devised as Liz, Khivar had brought her back to herself. She didn't even know if he knew. She had done a good job of hiding it from him last night. She knew that he hoped giving her the scarf would cause this, but he had not known for sure that it had worked.
She had seen the disappointment on his face when she had managed to continue to behave like Liz. She had continued the lie, even though she felt horrible about it. She loved him after all. But she couldn't tell him the truth. Not while he still called her Rowena.
He had [I]always[/I] called her Rowena. She knew it wasn't his fault, that she was the one who had allowed him to believe that it was who she was. She hadn't even realized until last night that it had hurt her that he had never recognized that she was not his erstwhile betrothed, that he had not seen who she really was, not even after they had been wed. She had not thought she minded, that it was enough to be with him. But, for some reason, it hurt now. As she raised her eyes from the photograph and stared at her human face in the mirror - at the dark hair, the even features, the small scar, the dark eyes that did not seem quite [I]right[/I] - she wondered why.
A light knock made her turn from the mirror to the window. She felt her heart enter her throat. Zan.
He was crouched there, staring in at her, his dark eyes worried. His eyes had not changed. Why had hers?
"Liz, I know I'm not supposed to be here. I'm sorry." He swung gracefully through the window. "I couldn't help it though. I barely slept last night. I had to come check on you."
"Why?" She asked, tilting her head and staring at him. He had never frightened her - not until the bitter end. Not until he had shot her down and she had died in a pool of her own blood. But she was not afraid of him now. That was not his fault. His eyes were innocent, gentle again. This was Zan [I]before[/I] they had done what they had done to him.
He stopped a foot away from her. "You were kind of weird on the phone last night," he admitted quietly. "I just wanted to make sure that none of this was getting to you."
She tried not to smile ironically, fingered the scarf still wrapped around her wrist. Were things [I]getting[/I] to her? That was one way of putting it. She had told him she was sorry last night for her strange behavior, but he had still worried. It was what Rowena had loved about him, she knew. He was always worried about her. For someone who had never felt like anyone cared, Zan had been able to touch Rowena's spirit in a way no one else ever had.
His eyes lit on the scarf she could not stop touching. He frowned. "What's that?"
"Nothing," she replied. "Just a new look. Everyone will be wearing them soon." She smiled at his incredulous expression. "I'm fine Max. I'm sorry you were worried. I was just [I]really[/I] tired."
He reached out a hand, brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. She felt nothing. It was like being touched by her brother. How strange that Rowena loved this person. She [I]liked[/I] him, but nothing else. Odd that two people who were so alike could love so differently. "You need to take care of yourself," he told her firmly, taking her hand in his and pulling her towards him.
She tried not to be distant. She did not want anyone to know until [I]she[/I] was ready. She allowed him to touch his lips gently to hers, thought of Khivar. It worked. She was warm at least.
And, yet, as he pulled back, his expression was odd. It was as though he could tell the difference. Zan had always been able to tell the difference. Perhaps that was why she felt such annoyance now that Khivar had not.
"You should go. They're coming for breakfast." She lowered her eyes, refused to meet his, refused to allow him access to her innermost thoughts. He would know for sure then. She did not want to hurt him after all. She knew how ardently he had loved Rowena. It saddened her that he would never find her.
It would be so much easier if she could just love Zan. But one could not control one's heart. For two lifetimes, hers had beat for only one person - Khivar.
And she would tell him. Soon.
"I don't like this plan anymore Liz," Zan said. "I want to talk to Will."
She turned him gently, pushed him towards the window. "And I'll arrange it. You just need to be patient Max. I swear that it's going well. It may even be today."
"Liz, it [I]has[/I] to be today," Zan insisted. "I just know that something really bad is about to happen. Will and I need to get past our differences and work together."
"I'll try Max. But I want you to stay away from him. I'm only doing this to protect you after all. You have to let me make the decisions. I know Will. You don't. Don't you trust me?" That had sounded exactly like something Liz Parker would say. She was pleased with herself.
Zan sighed heavily. "Of course I trust you." He reached out, pulled her against him again. "I just really hate this plan. Even pretending that we're enemies.It's wrong."
"We were never enemies," she whispered against his chest.
"What?" He pulled back slightly, looked down at her curiously.
"We could never be enemies," she said quickly. "It will all work out."
"Okay." He kissed her once more. She was relieved that it was short and sweet. Every time it happened she felt like she was betraying both Khivar [I]and[/I] Rowena. But until she figured out what to do, she needed to keep this charade alive.
It was only after he was gone that she admitted the truth to herself. She did not want to lose Khivar. She knew now, just as she had known then, that if he understood who she really was, he would no longer love her. Because it was Rowena he had loved - Rowena he [I]did[/I] love.
If he found out that she was not her sister, she would lose him. And, for that reason, Serena of Valonia could not exist. Not ever again.
To be continued.
"Good morning!" Alex managed to avoid grimacing at the cheesy cheer in his own voice. He couldn't help it if he still wasn't entirely comfortable around Kate and her companions though. He didn't care how well things had gone the evening before. It was still weird to be hanging out with people who had tried to kill his friends only yesterday.
While he knew for sure that they were not evil, he and Liz were engaged in a delicate balancing act at the moment. They were trying to pretend to side with Will, Kate and Jack and, yet, they were also trying to protect Max, Isabel, Michael and Tess too. The two goals were not compatible.
But, at the moment, as his eyes met Kate's weary blue gaze, he couldn't help but hope that soon they would be.
Things [I]had[/I] gone well the night before. He had spent a pleasant enough hour watching T.V. with Jack and Kate. It had been a strange thing to do, but had also served to make them more comfortable with him. He had already liked Jack after all. By the time Liz and Will joined them, he and Jack had been back to bantering, this time insulting various stars on the television rather than their fellow classmates. Kate was more quiet, but she had not seemed unduly resistant to his presence either.
The fact that Courtney had just sat there the entire time was strange. Alex decided not to ask why she was there. He wanted to make Kate and Jack trust him after all. If he started interrogating them right away, it would take more time. Besides, the Skin girl had not seemed to be in any danger, nor had she seemed scared. She just sat on the bed, listening to their inane chatter, but not trying to join in. It wasn't until he had been lying in his bed later, thinking about the evening, that it had dawned on Alex that Courtney was completely resigned to her death. She wasn't even attempting to connect on any level with anyone anymore. She wasn't going to help either side willingly. Her allegiance was only to Michael and now that she knew that he would never betray Max, she just didn't care about any of it. She wasn't keeping any secrets, but she wasn't helping any of them either. For the first time, Alex felt sorry for her.
For the first time he felt sorry for [I]all[/I] the Skins. What must it be like to know that your days were numbered, that you were going to simply shred away into nothing? These people were on Earth, fighting a secret war that, in many ways, was not about them at all. And now they were going to die because of it. War sucked. While intellectually Alex had realized it before, he knew it for fact now. It was started by people in power, but it was the little guy who always paid the price. Even if took two separate life-times.
When he and Liz finally drove back to town in the wee hours of the morning, Liz had related the gist of her conversation with Will. It seemed that he bought that Liz remembered him. In fact, he had even given her something that he said belonged to her in her past life. Liz spent the ride home fingering the delicate piece of fabric that was tied around her wrist, not really focused on it, but obviously connected to it.
"It's weird Alex," she said quietly at one point. "It's only a little piece of cloth, but, it's like, finally, for the first time, I'm about to find out who I really am. I know what Will tells me and what Max [I]showed[/I] me, but now I feel like I'm about to find out for myself."
"Are you remembering?" Alex asked, concerned. This had not been part of the plan after all, having Liz [I]remember[/I] being an alien. He wasn't entirely comfortable with that proposition. He felt deep down that there was a reason that she didn't remember, a reason that she was more human than the rest of them. He had no idea what that reason could be, but somehow he just knew it. Hadn't the fact that Kate, Will and Jack [I]did[/I] remember, only made things worse? Even if he and Liz did somehow manage to broker a deal between Will and Max, in the end, it still wouldn't be entirely safe. Because, even if they came to a tentative trust, somewhere inside of them, Will, Kate and Jack would always remember what Zan had done. They might be able to get past it, might be able to understand that Max was not to blame, but they would always remember. And how could any sort of truce really exist in those circumstances?
"Not really," Liz replied, sounding distant. "I can't explain [I]what[/I] I feel. I just know that nothing is as it seems."
Alex frowned, but didn't ask anything more. He knew that a piece of cloth could not put Liz in any danger. He was worried about her, but they were both driving home, safe and in one piece, and, for now, it had to be enough.
It was why he had found himself reassuring Max when his friend had called him in the middle of the night. It seemed that Liz had been a little weird on the phone with him. But Alex knew that sometimes things had to get a little weird in order for them to get any answers. Liz had been as normal as she ever was - at least since Max had healed her the year before. He told Max that she was just tired, had wondered if it was a mistake after he hung up, but ended up deciding that it wasn't. They had to give the plan time to work. It wasn't the best plan in the world, but it was the only one they had that didn't involve alien powers and blasting and killing.
It was a delicate balancing act all right.
And, yet, as he grinned at Kate now, he felt a new sense of purpose, a sense that it would all be worth it in the long run. That this [I]was[/I] going to work. Because, in the end, these were all good people and none of them really wanted this strife to continue if it didn't have to.
"What are you doing here?" Kate asked, yawning. "Didn't you just leave?"
"Well, I could take that as an insult," Alex replied. "But I won't. I know we all had a late night last night."
Kate's eyes narrowed. "You are entirely too chipper for someone who insisted on staying over until the late, late movie ended. And it wasn't even good!"
"[I]Attack of the Killer Tomatoes[/I] is a classic," Alex argued good- naturedly. "Jack agreed with me. Even Will got into the spirit of it after he and Liz had dealt with all their angst."
"That's because guys don't know good cinema." Alex blinked as Courtney emerged from the bathroom, directly behind Kate. Kate stepped aside to allow Alex to enter. "I've been on enough crappy dates to know that by now."
"You date?" Alex asked before he could stop himself.
"I've been on this God-forsaken rock for fifty years," Courtney snapped, crossing the motel room to the mirror over the dresser. Alex tried not to grimace as she leaned in and peeled a layer of skin off her cheek. He felt Kate flinch beside him. "I had to do something to pass the time."
"You seem to be feeling better this morning," Alex ventured tentatively. "I called Michael and told him where you were, like you asked. He [I]was[/I] worried."
Courtney's expression softened. "I knew he would be. He's such a sweetheart."
Alex raised an eyebrow. [I]Sweetheart[/I] and Michael Guerin were not two terms that he would have ever associated with each other.
"Why is she still here?" Alex whispered to Kate as Courtney returned to the bathroom, a bottle of moisturizer tucked under her arm. He felt his gag reflex kicking in as he realized that she was leaving a trail of dead skin in her wake. Kate seemed to realize this, because she quickly waved her hand and it all disintegrated.
"She knows that Rath won't reveal the granolith's location out of loyalty to Zan," Kate whispered back. "While she hasn't turned against Rath, it would appear that she isn't entirely ready to give up her life for him. I told her last night that our first goal is to find it. I think she wants to live."
Which would explain Courtney's sudden change of disposition, Alex thought, a lump in his throat. This was not the same resigned girl of the night before.
"The granolith can help her?" Alex asked nervously.
Kate's head turned, her eyes speculative. "Didn't you know that?"
"No. We don't know much about it," Alex admitted.
"But you [I]do[/I] know where it is?"
[I]Smooth move Whitman.[/I] The disdainful voice in the back of his head was back and it was pissed. "Er, well, I know that it exists. I don't know where it is." Which was only the truth of course. He knew the others had found it, but they hadn't told him where it was specifically because he had never asked. He wondered why he felt guilty for not confirming to Kate that Max and the others [I]did[/I] know where it was though. Maybe it was because of the way her expression fell, which, for some reason, made his heart hurt.
"Too bad," Kate sighed. "Because it's all we really want. If Zan really doesn't remember, if he really just wants to stay here.Well, telling us where the granolith is - it would be the smoothest way to a truce. In fact, it would be the quickest truce in the history of truces."
Alex frowned. "What is the granolith anyway? Why is it so important?" He decided not to tell Kate what he already knew - that it had once been modified to be used as a time machine. Those secrets were not his to tell. He and Liz were here to [I]get[/I] information after all, not to give it out, despite the fact that he was beginning to feel worse about it with every minute he spent in Kate's company.
"It's hard to explain," Kate replied. "It has many uses. But a major one is that it has healing capabilities. It can renew life. It's why we need it so badly - to save our people."
Alex stared at her. "Are you telling me that it can bring people back from the dead?"
"In a way, yes." Kate shrugged. "It zeroes in on the problem and fixes it. Our people can't survive on Earth without their skins. The granolith could fix that."
"No wonder Nicholas is so desperate to get his hands on it." Alex shook his head. He paused, then continued, "I'm sorry I don't know where it is."
Kate smiled slightly. "I believe that Alex. And I'm sorry too." Her eyes were sad though. "Do you think that it would change things if Zan knew this? Do you think he would tell us where it is?"
"To save the Skins?" Alex asked, surprised. "Kate, they tried to kill them!"
"Only for us," Kate replied heatedly. "They're innocent Alex. They were only following orders."
So were the Nazis, he thought. Or so they said anyway. Alex narrowed his gaze. "Your orders?"
"Well." She trailed off, finally admitted, "No. We didn't know they had been found until after the Harvest was destroyed."
"Isn't that kind of weird? They've known where to find Max and the others for a long time Kate. Liz was hired by Whittaker for a few weeks because she knew she was close to him. They obviously knew who he was. Why wouldn't they tell you? Isn't Will their leader?"
Kate frowned, but didn't reply. Alex could see that she was becoming upset. Not for the first time, Alex began to wonder if perhaps the Skins didn't have an agenda of their own - one that didn't include their own royals. And perhaps Kate was beginning to wonder the same thing, if the expression on her face was any indication.
"Why are you here?" She finally asked, shaking her head firmly, as though trying to clear it of doubt.
"Liz asked me to come pick you all up. She wants me to bring you to the Crashdown for breakfast." He shrugged, when Kate's eyes widened in surprise. "That's Liz."
Kate smiled again. "It sounds like Rowena. She was always bullying everyone into taking care of themselves." Alex felt a shiver descend his spine. He wondered if he was ever going to get used to the fact that she was referring to Liz. It was just too weird that his best friend was suddenly someone with a whole past none of them even knew about. He was used to it with Isabel, Max and the others, but Liz had always been the grounding force in his life - she defined normal. The fact that, suddenly, none of them really knew who she was.It was upsetting in a way he couldn't really explain - even to himself.
He forced himself to push his fear aside for the moment. He had to keep acting normally. It was the only way to keep the balancing act going. Alex knocked lightly on the bathroom door. "Are you coming?"
"Yup," Courtney replied. "I need to talk to Michael. I didn't know for sure before that the granolith could heal me. He'll help me once he knows."
"He won't help you if he thinks you're just going to turn around and tell us," Kate reminded her gently.
"I won't tell you," Courtney said evenly. "I'm sorry, but I was brought here against my will. Whatever you thought, I haven't changed my mind. If I can save my life, great. But I won't betray him."
"Then you're of no more use to us."
Alex felt someone brush past him, knocking him to the side. It was only then that he realized that the door was still open. He heard Kate exclaim, "Jack!" What happened next was so sudden, it took him a moment to even understand what he was seeing.
Jack had Courtney's blonde hair wrapped around his hand, was twisting her head so that her neck was exposed. Alex moved forward as he realized that this could [I]not[/I] be a good thing.
And, the next thing he knew, Courtney was gone. Well, not completely gone. A pile of dust swirled in the place where she had stood.
"Jack!" Kate exclaimed in horror. "What have you done?"
"We don't have time for traitors," Jack replied darkly. "She was a liability. I brought her here so that she could see the error of her ways, maybe go back and get us some information. Now that we know for sure that's not going to happen, keeping her around is pointless."
Alex realized that his mouth had fallen open in horror. He closed it abruptly, wished that he could stop his heart from beating a terrified tattoo against his chest.
How had he forgotten so easily that these people were dangerous? He took a quick step backwards, wondered if he should just turn and start running.
"You had no right to do that!" Kate was yelling now. "You don't have the authority to take matters into your own hands! What on Earth is wrong with you?"
"The fact that I'm [I]stuck[/I] on Earth is what's wrong with me!" Jack yelled back. "I'm tired Kate! We're so close but it's still beyond our reach. I'm just tired of it."
"You [I]killed[/I] someone," Kate whispered, the change in tone so abrupt, it made Alex turn to look at her. He felt slightly better that she seemed as shocked as he was by what Jack had just done. How could this be the same guy he had spent time going over the finer points of Baywatch with the night before?
"This is a war," Jack reminded her, his voice now gentle. "She was a traitor. Our people need to know that we will protect them, but only as far as they protect us."
"Who are you?" Alex blinked when he realized that Kate had taken a step back too, was now slightly behind him, as though she was terrified. "You are [I]not[/I] Jack."
Jack's eyes widened. "I am so."
"You're not. Who [I]are[/I] you?" Kate demanded, her voice rising. "Will! Will, get in here!" Alex's head was now ringing because she had screamed almost directly into his ear. He wondered if it was wrong that he sort of felt kind of pleased that she thought [I]he[/I] of all people could protect her.
Or was he so insignificant, she somehow knew that Jack would never even bother to hurt him?
"Will!" Kate screamed again.
Jack's lip curled. "Call your precious king," he snarled, his mask falling away entirely. "He's as weak as Zan is. You're all so stupid. Keep fighting amongst yourselves. It's only a matter of time now."
With that, he turned on his heel and strode from the room, brushing past Will, who had finally appeared. He still had shaving cream on his face, which only accentuated the fact that none of these people had had any idea of the enemy in their midst.
"What the." Will turned his head, watched the Jack impersonator sprint away. "What's going on?"
Alex swallowed, put an arm around Kate's shoulders comfortingly. She was trembling. "Jack," she whimpered. "That wasn't Jack Will."
And, with those words, Alex knew that the rules of this game had just changed again.
***************************
She awoke, her eyes gradually adjusting to the unfamiliar ceiling above her. She knew that she [I]should[/I] recognize it. It had been her ceiling for the sixteen years she had existed on this planet after all. This morning though, she felt like she was seeing it with brand new eyes. As she sat up and looked around Liz Parker's bedroom, she felt her heart beginning to beat more quickly. The realization that she was no longer Liz was only accentuated by the fact that this no longer felt like home.
She forced herself to rise, moved to the vanity and picked up the photograph of Liz, Maria and Alex that sat there. She knew that until she adjusted, she needed to keep the facade of Liz's world intact. She needed to remember that these were her best friends, that Alex in particular was her ally in the game she was supposed to be playing with Khivar. It was sheer irony that because of the plan she had devised as Liz, Khivar had brought her back to herself. She didn't even know if he knew. She had done a good job of hiding it from him last night. She knew that he hoped giving her the scarf would cause this, but he had not known for sure that it had worked.
She had seen the disappointment on his face when she had managed to continue to behave like Liz. She had continued the lie, even though she felt horrible about it. She loved him after all. But she couldn't tell him the truth. Not while he still called her Rowena.
He had [I]always[/I] called her Rowena. She knew it wasn't his fault, that she was the one who had allowed him to believe that it was who she was. She hadn't even realized until last night that it had hurt her that he had never recognized that she was not his erstwhile betrothed, that he had not seen who she really was, not even after they had been wed. She had not thought she minded, that it was enough to be with him. But, for some reason, it hurt now. As she raised her eyes from the photograph and stared at her human face in the mirror - at the dark hair, the even features, the small scar, the dark eyes that did not seem quite [I]right[/I] - she wondered why.
A light knock made her turn from the mirror to the window. She felt her heart enter her throat. Zan.
He was crouched there, staring in at her, his dark eyes worried. His eyes had not changed. Why had hers?
"Liz, I know I'm not supposed to be here. I'm sorry." He swung gracefully through the window. "I couldn't help it though. I barely slept last night. I had to come check on you."
"Why?" She asked, tilting her head and staring at him. He had never frightened her - not until the bitter end. Not until he had shot her down and she had died in a pool of her own blood. But she was not afraid of him now. That was not his fault. His eyes were innocent, gentle again. This was Zan [I]before[/I] they had done what they had done to him.
He stopped a foot away from her. "You were kind of weird on the phone last night," he admitted quietly. "I just wanted to make sure that none of this was getting to you."
She tried not to smile ironically, fingered the scarf still wrapped around her wrist. Were things [I]getting[/I] to her? That was one way of putting it. She had told him she was sorry last night for her strange behavior, but he had still worried. It was what Rowena had loved about him, she knew. He was always worried about her. For someone who had never felt like anyone cared, Zan had been able to touch Rowena's spirit in a way no one else ever had.
His eyes lit on the scarf she could not stop touching. He frowned. "What's that?"
"Nothing," she replied. "Just a new look. Everyone will be wearing them soon." She smiled at his incredulous expression. "I'm fine Max. I'm sorry you were worried. I was just [I]really[/I] tired."
He reached out a hand, brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. She felt nothing. It was like being touched by her brother. How strange that Rowena loved this person. She [I]liked[/I] him, but nothing else. Odd that two people who were so alike could love so differently. "You need to take care of yourself," he told her firmly, taking her hand in his and pulling her towards him.
She tried not to be distant. She did not want anyone to know until [I]she[/I] was ready. She allowed him to touch his lips gently to hers, thought of Khivar. It worked. She was warm at least.
And, yet, as he pulled back, his expression was odd. It was as though he could tell the difference. Zan had always been able to tell the difference. Perhaps that was why she felt such annoyance now that Khivar had not.
"You should go. They're coming for breakfast." She lowered her eyes, refused to meet his, refused to allow him access to her innermost thoughts. He would know for sure then. She did not want to hurt him after all. She knew how ardently he had loved Rowena. It saddened her that he would never find her.
It would be so much easier if she could just love Zan. But one could not control one's heart. For two lifetimes, hers had beat for only one person - Khivar.
And she would tell him. Soon.
"I don't like this plan anymore Liz," Zan said. "I want to talk to Will."
She turned him gently, pushed him towards the window. "And I'll arrange it. You just need to be patient Max. I swear that it's going well. It may even be today."
"Liz, it [I]has[/I] to be today," Zan insisted. "I just know that something really bad is about to happen. Will and I need to get past our differences and work together."
"I'll try Max. But I want you to stay away from him. I'm only doing this to protect you after all. You have to let me make the decisions. I know Will. You don't. Don't you trust me?" That had sounded exactly like something Liz Parker would say. She was pleased with herself.
Zan sighed heavily. "Of course I trust you." He reached out, pulled her against him again. "I just really hate this plan. Even pretending that we're enemies.It's wrong."
"We were never enemies," she whispered against his chest.
"What?" He pulled back slightly, looked down at her curiously.
"We could never be enemies," she said quickly. "It will all work out."
"Okay." He kissed her once more. She was relieved that it was short and sweet. Every time it happened she felt like she was betraying both Khivar [I]and[/I] Rowena. But until she figured out what to do, she needed to keep this charade alive.
It was only after he was gone that she admitted the truth to herself. She did not want to lose Khivar. She knew now, just as she had known then, that if he understood who she really was, he would no longer love her. Because it was Rowena he had loved - Rowena he [I]did[/I] love.
If he found out that she was not her sister, she would lose him. And, for that reason, Serena of Valonia could not exist. Not ever again.
To be continued.