On All Hallow's Eve
A/N: I was lucky enough to be able to write a fic with the incredibly talented Erestor, and this is the result. Sorry that it's a bit late!
Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings belongs to the Tolkien Estate. This story is a work of entertainment and was not written for any sort of profit.
Everything was just right. The night was drafty and cold. The wind in the trees sounded like the raspy voices of wights and wraiths drifting restlessly through Middle-Earth. The full moon, bright and eerie, washed the world with a silvery light.
Oh, yes, thought Lord Elrond of Rivendell. Everything is perfect.
"Do I really have to wear this?" asked Lord Glorfindel from behind him. "I was planning to be a great Balrog-slayer."
Elrond turned and stared at him incredulously. "But you already are a Balrog-slayer."
"I know," Glorfindel said, looking immensely pleased with himself. "That's why it's such a clever idea."
"Shut up and put on the mask, Glorfindel."
Glorfindel heaved an overly-dramatic sigh and acquiesced.
Elrond turned back to the window, feeling diabolically triumphant.
This was going to be a Halloween to remember.
In fact, every Halloween in Rivendell was memorable, and while some people tried hard to forget certain...events, it was quite impossible. Who could banish from memory those horrors and humiliations that so frequently occurred on each and every Halloween? Who could forget the shock, the blind panic, the terror? Most importantly, who could recover from the trauma of having the normally placid Erestor pull an extremely cruel and clever trick on the Lord of Rivendell?
Elrond couldn't.
Thus the inhabitants of Rivendell were startled when their lord had greeted the coming Halloween with outstretched arms and a merry smile. After all his rants about the horror he had suffered last year, they had expected him to hide in his bedroom, under his bed, and not come out until December. But this year, Elrond was actually looking forward to Halloween!
The reason was simple: this Halloween Lord Elrond was putting his extremely cunning revenge on Erestor into action.
.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."
"Come now, Gimli, it won't be that bad."
"I agree. Nothing can be as bad as your father mistaking me for a leprechaun and chasing me like a madman with all his subjects behind him."
Legolas laughed. "Leprechauns have nothing to do with Halloween."
"That's beside the point," muttered Gimli from beneath a table under which he was hiding. The large tablecloth covering it draped to the floor, shielding him from view.
"I know. You should come out and have some fun," Legolas said, straightening his Ranger costume.
There was no reply from Gimli. Legolas straightened a crease in his soon-to-be-filled candy bag. Finally, Gimli growled and stuck his head out from beneath the table. The next instant, a mob of costume-clad Elflings ran by, leaving Gimli little less than roadkill behind them.
He grunted as a giggling Legolas helped him to his feet. "Have fun, indeed."
.
Glorfindel bounced merrily through the bushes outside Rivendell. He had quite recovered from Elrond's insistence that he not be a great Balrog-Slayer this Halloween. After all, Glorfindel was a great Balrog-Slayer every Halloween, and also a great Balrog-Slayer on all the days that were not Halloween. He was enjoying the experience of being disguised as something different.
Glorfindel stopped bouncing and began sneaking instead. He sneaked up to the window of Erestor's study, and then dove through it, yelling something fearsome and incomprehensible.
He paused, waiting for Erestor's cries of terror.
There were none.
Glorfindel pushed back his mask so that he could see properly. He still could not see Erestor, but that was simply because Erestor was not there.
"Hmm," said Glorfindel. This was an unexpected development.
Glorfindel opened the door that led to Erestor's bedroom, but Erestor was not there either. Glorfindel checked under Erestor's bed, just in case.
"I suppose I'll have to find him," said Glorfindel. Elrond would be angry if Erestor escaped Halloween mentally and emotionally unscathed.
Glorfindel poked his head around the door, and was relieved to see that the hallway was empty.
Because now that he thought about it, the fact that he was dressed up as an Orc might be a problem.
He sighed and began to scurry down the hall when he heard voices. He glanced around, unsure of where to hide. He was just about to duck back into Erestor's room when an extremely high-pitched scream invaded the air around his ears. It was the kind of scream that was nearly too high for human (or elven) ears, the kind that caused canines to bark for miles around.
It was Prince Legolas.
The young elf-prince was standing, one hand to his cheek, the other with one finger extended in an accusatory point at the Balrog-slayer.
"It's an Orc!" he squeaked.
Gimli the dwarf, meanwhile, was staring in shock and horror at Glorfindel. Glorfindel almost didn't recognize him because of the strange costume he was wearing: he was supposed to be a pumpkin. What he didn't know was that the dwarf and the elf-prince had gone costume-shopping that day, and by then the only costume left in Gimli's size was that of a pumpkin.
At any rate, Gimli let loose a dwarven war cry and drew his axe from within his costume. Before he could react, however, Legolas grabbed him, picked him up, and began to sprint down the hall.
"Oh, no," muttered Glorfindel. "Wait!" he called after them. "It's not what you think!"
When they didn't respond, he groaned and started to chase after them. He had to explain to them what was going on before they started telling everyone that Orcs were loose in Imladris.
"Sweet Illuvatar, it's following us!" screeched Legolas. His frog-like legs began moving even faster than before.
"Put me down, you idiot elf!" yelled Gimli.
Legolas didn't seem to hear him. He kept looking back at Glorfindel, who was desperately trying to catch up.
Oh, Lord Elrond was going to kill him.
.
There was an Orc loose in Rivendell! It was chasing him through the hall! This was Legolas's worst nightmare come true.
Except, in Legolas's worst nightmares, he had never been lugging Gimli through the hall as well. Gimli was heavy, and was slowing Legolas down. Gimli was not acting the least bit grateful that his friend was saving him from the Orc.
Legolas had never been so terrified in his life.
At least, he had not been so terrified in his recent life. Which was probably going to end soon, once the Orc caught up.
"Legolas!" bellowed Gimli, who had nearly run out of insults, and was attempting to get the Elf's attention by addressing him by his real name.
The Orc was getting closer. Legolas put on an extra burst of speed, rounded the corner, and plowed into Aragorn.
For a few frenzied moments, all was in complete confusion. Legolas was shrieking in panic. Gimli was yelling gruffly. Aragorn was shouting, "What's going on? What's happening? Legolas, calm down!", which did nothing to soothe anyone.
The Orc was nearly upon them. Gimli snatched another axe out of the vast expanse of orange cloth he was wearing and charged at the Orc. The Orc turned and fled.
"What a lovely day!" cried Lindir, skipping over to Aragorn and Legolas and waving his binoculars at them in a friendly fashion.
Lindir was ineffectually disguised as an intrepid explorer.
"Er... hello, Lindir," said Aragorn.
Legolas was hyperventilating.
"Trick or treat!" cried Lindir. He whipped his safari hat from his head and brandished it under Aragorn's nose. Aragorn dropped a few pieces of candy into it. Then he turned around to quiet Legolas.
"This is... bringing back... such... horrible... memories," gasped Legolas, collapsing against a wall.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Lindir, peering over Aragorn's shoulder at Legolas.
"He's terrified of Orcs," explained Aragorn.
"So am I," Lindir agreed. "What's the problem?"
"There's an Orc around here."
Lindir gasped the way he did when he got a particularly interesting new piece of gossip. Lindir loved gossip. "No way!"
Aragorn shook his head. The Elf was pathetic. "Yes, and I heard he's coming after you."
Lindir almost screamed, his blissful expression gone. "I have to hide!"
"Yes, quickly!" Aragorn exclaimed encouragingly. Lindir ran off so swiftly that one would think the Orc was after him already.
Gimli was staring at Legolas, who was shaking and muttering unintellibly. The Dwarf shook his head.
"I almost feel bad for him," he said, a note of sympathy in his voice.
Aragorn pulled Legolas to his feet. "I'll take him to the infirmary. You go warn Lord Elrond about the Orcs." He didn't have any wish to see his foster father, who wasn't too fond of him since he'd become engaged to Arwen. "Not too fond of him" was a euphemism for "he threw five heavy volumes of Elvish poetry out the window when Arwen told him".
Gimli saluted. "Yes, sir!"
As Aragorn hauled the staggering Legolas down the hallway, Gimli whipped out his two axes and waddled quickly in the other direction. His costume was preventing him from running, but he didn't care. He was on a mission.
He would complete it.
Or die trying.
.
Glorfindel cringed in the bushes, wondering what he was supposed to do. He hadn't realized that the Dwarf -what was his name? Jimli? Grimli? Gimli?- was in Rivendell.
"Things just keep on getting better and better," Glorfindel muttered to himself sarcastically.
He was in an Orc costume. Erestor had disappeared. An enraged Dwarf was out to kill him. Elrond would scrag him when he returned with his mission unaccomplished.
Glorfindel sighed. He considered remaining in the bushes for the rest of the night. But, no, that would not be a good idea. Someone would undoubtably find him. Then there would be lots of screaming and panicking. He couldn't handle more of that.
Glorfindel decided to sneak back to Elrond, to inform him that he was quitting his job. It was too messy. Too bizarre. Too life-threatening.
Glorfindel tiptoed quietly through the gardens of Rivendell, humming softly to himself. Hopefully any would-be-assailants would notice that the 'Orc' was humming an Elvish ballad and would refrain from attacking.
Glorfindel found Elrond's window at last. He scrambled up the wall, and was about to clamber inside when he heard Gimli yelling, "Orcs! Orcs! Rivendell is under attack!"
Elves, many of them clad in handmade costumes, were dashing around getting weapons and shouting orders to each other.
Glorfindel had horrible visions of being hunted down by his own friends.
"We must tell Lord Elrond!" cried Gimli, wheezing. The poor Dwarf had probably never had to run so much in his life.
"What is happening?" Lord Elrond's voice.
"Lord Elrond," said Gimli loudly, "we are under attack!"
Glorfindel swallowed nervously.
"Under attack?" demanded Elrond, sounding worried.
"Yes! An Orc scout pursued my friend Legolas through the halls!"
"I should have remained a great Balrog-Slayer," murmured Glorfindel.
.
Lord Elrond sat in his gilt chair as the last of the panicked Elves of Rivendell left his study. When he was sure they were gone, he stood and went to the window.
"The coast is clear now, Glorfindel," he said. "You can come in, if you like."
Glorfindel's head popped up out of the shrubbery, devoid of the Orc mask. "You knew I was out there?" he asked in surprise.
"Of course I did. I know everything," Elrond said matter-of-factly.
"Oh."
"Get inside already!"
Glorfindel scrambled in and jammed the mask back on. "Thank you, Lord Elrond."
Elrond shrugged. "Well, I'm sure you were frightened out there."
"Frightened, you say?" he repeated with a bitter laugh. "Frightened? I was flat-out terrified! I was sure that at any moment, some Elf half-mad with fear was going to appear and chop me into little bits!"
Elrond's mouth curved upward in a smirk. "Is the brave Balrog-Slayer losing his courage?"
Glorfindel managed to look indignant, even with the mask. "Now, listen here - "
"I assume you did not understand my instructions, Glorfindel."
"Yes, I did, my lord - "
"For it seems that you did not scare Lord Erestor, but the prince of Greenwood."
"It was a mistake - "
"I suppose you were under the impression that Lord Erestor had dyed his hair blonde."
"Now, Lord Elrond, don't you think that's going a bit far?"
Just then, someone said from outside the door, "Lord Elrond, it is imperative that I speak with you!"
The door flew open and in stepped Lord Erestor himself.
Elrond stared at Erestor, slack-jawed.
Erestor was very calm. He was holding a cup of tea, and had a very thick book wedged under one arm. He barely glanced at Glorfindel before addressing Lord Elrond. "My lord," he said, "Prince Legolas is not feeling... very well. He is in need of medical attention."
"Medical attention?" echoed Elrond.
Erestor nodded.
"What happened to him?" asked Elrond, clearly wondering what exactly Glorfindel had done apart from 'scaring' Legolas.
"He fainted," said Erestor flatly. "He fainted, fell over a balcony, and, thank the Valar, landed in a bush and not on Lindir's 'intrepid explorer' Halloween display."
"Oh dear," said Elrond.
"Yes," said Erestor, "this is a very oh-dear sort of situation. His Highness is awake, and he keeps babbling nonsense about Orcs running rampant in Rivendell."
"Oh... yes... nonsense, of course," said Elrond tonelessly.
"I think you had better calm him down, before he finishes writing that letter to his father," said Erestor.
Elrond was halfway to the door before he turned and demanded, "What letter?"
"The letter about how terrible Rivendell's security is, and about how Orcs nearly killed him, and about how he's broken both legs and several ribs and you don't seem to care," said Erestor. "Because obviously if you cared, you would have come to bandage him up immediately."
Lord Elrond, very pale, dashed out of the room. Erestor watched him leave, a mildly amused expression on his face.
Then the advisor turned to Glorfindel, who was cringing quietly in a corner.
"You don't really look like an Orc, you know," said Erestor. "You look like an Elf wearing a mask and a curtain that was buried in the garden for a few days in advance."
"More than a few days," said Glorfindel. "Lord Elrond had been planning this for a long time."
Erestor grinned. "I know," he said. "That's why I was sitting in the library closet, reading to my heart's content."
"It will all catch up with you sooner or later," said Glorfindel.
"I'm sure."
"Elrond will get you when you least expect it."
"Of course."
"You like living life on the edge, I suppose."
"Yes. Which is why I left a little... surprise for Lord Elrond in the infirmary. By the way, is this your change of clothes?" Erestor asked, holding up a bundle.
Glorfindel experienced a sudden sinking feeling as Erestor strolled out of Elrond's room with Glorfindel's clothes in his hands.
The great Balrog-slayer considered the possibilities. He could 1) stay in here and wait for Lord Elrond to return, or he could 2) chase Erestor down the hallway while in Orc-disguise.
Glorfindel took a deep breath and sprinted out of the room after Erestor.
After all, Glorfindel rather enjoyed living life on the edge as well.
THE END