[u]Part 33[/u]
Liz was still clutching Max's hand, even though he had dropped his shield. She could feel his shock intermingling with her own. If Grant was the other protector, why had it taken him so long to reveal himself? Not to mention, did the fact that he was one of the shapeshifters that had been sent in the ship with their pods necessarily mean that he [I]was[/I] a protector? Nasedo had certainly proven himself a fraud on that front.
The man - Liz found it hard to think of him as Grant now that he looked nothing like Grant - was watching Max and Liz, expressionless now, all of his joking charm gone. The granolith chamber was quiet, as though everyone was still trying to absorb the shock of what had just happened.
He could provide the answers they needed and, yet, they were all just standing there staring at him. Although she had never known Nasedo to be straightforward, the possibility that this new alien might be able to give them some concrete information.this opportunity could not be wasted.
Just because Liz knew they shouldn't trust him didn't mean that she wasn't going to at least listen to what he had to say.
Liz bit her lip, voicing the first question that came to mind. "Why did you decide to reveal yourself now? We never even knew you were a shapeshifter and if we had, we probably would have just thought you were Nasedo."
"I told you Rowena, you weren't ready," the shapeshifter shrugged. He was still staring at her with his dark, unreadable eyes, making her shift uncomfortably. "Are you afraid?" He sounded slightly surprised, as though he hadn't expected it. What was wrong with him? How could he not know that they were all terrified. That not knowing who they really were was frightening and that finding out only bits and pieces at a time was making it worse?
"A little," was all she would admit to though. "Why.Why weren't we ready?"
The shapeshifter smiled slightly. "Not 'we' Liz. The others have always known who they were. What I meant was that [I]you[/I] weren't ready."
"I didn't know who [I]I[/I] was either!" Tess intervened, sounding a bit defensive. Liz looked at her, felt a rush of affection. Her sister was clearly trying to make it clear that she was not willing to have Liz singled out as different in any way. It continued to amaze Liz that she already felt so close to Tess. With all their history, it shouldn't have been so easy.
But, then, who they were now.It wasn't really them. The relationship that had existed between them before was obviously stronger than any petty differences this time around.
The sheer irony of the whole situation was that intellectually Liz knew that they [I]weren't[/I] petty differences. Some of what Tess had done was almost unforgivable. And, yet, Liz found herself not caring, just wanted to embrace Tess for who she had been - not for who she was now. Which was actually a bit of a problem. It was almost like they had absolutely no control over their lives anymore. In spite of what she had said to Max earlier, about them still being able to choose their destiny, it was beginning to look like that wasn't true at all.
Liz wondered if the granolith had anything to do with it, whether maybe it was helping their bonds to forge again, without them even knowing it.
It was obvious that it was the centre of their entire existence, that it could indeed provide all the answers. And, suddenly, anything Grant had to say didn't seem quite as scary. Because somehow they would find out anyway. They [I]had[/I] to know one way or the other. What had come before was invading this life to such a degree that they could no longer avoid the truth.
To be able to reclaim their lives, they needed to know.
"No," Grant was conceding to Tess. "But that was because you were lied to - to a certain degree anyway. You always knew you were special." He looked back at Liz. "This one though." He shook his head. "It was to be expected I suppose. She is far more human than the rest of you."
"But [I]why[/I]?" Max demanded, squeezing Liz's hand. Liz knew that this had been bothering him, even if he would never admit it. Why had he recognized her and she hadn't started to know him until he had healed her? "What happened? I knew her the instant I laid eyes on her. Why was she separated from us?"
"Her pod was the most damaged in the crash," the shapeshifter replied. "I tried several different methods to repair it, down to replacing the human DNA, which is why Rowena and Serena are no longer identical. They were meant to be. None of my attempts worked though. You were dying. It was finally necessary to find a new womb."
"My mother." Liz breathed. "How?"
"She couldn't have children," Grant replied. "Your grandmother was a friend of mine. She told me of your mother's problem, mainly because she witnessed my healing abilities. She wanted me to help her. And so I did. Just not in the way your grandmother envisioned." He sounded mildly sorry about that. "I only told Claudia Parker the truth after your birth, in case there were any side effects because of your heritage. In case your gifts presented themselves. They never did though. Your growth in a human womb affected your development further than I foresaw."
Liz's eyes widened at the news that her Grandma Claudia had always known the truth about her. She wondered if she should be upset that her grandmother had never told her any of this. "And my parents have no idea?" She asked, unsure how she was supposed to feel about this revelation. She had accepted the fact that she wasn't completely human, but to know that she wasn't even really Nancy and Jeff Parker's child.She hadn't allowed herself to think about it before.
Max seemed to sense her uncertainty because his arm came up around her waist. She leaned against him gratefully.
"They do not," Grant told her. "And they don't need to. To them you are their daughter. It all worked out for the best. It kept you safe. Nasedo doesn't know who you are. Or at least he didn't until that one's brother started raving about having found Rowena." He looked at Kate when he said this. She raised her chin and glared at him for his barely veiled insult of Will. His disdain was apparent when he continued, "Khivar never could keep his mouth shut. It got him into a galaxy's worth of trouble before and he's continuing the trend."
But Liz was only listening with half an ear now, trying to put all the pieces together. Everything they already knew, everything they had found out over the last year.It all had to fit somehow. He had said something about replacing the human DNA first. "Oh my God," she gasped, the truth dawning on her suddenly. "You killed Sheila Hubble!" She took a step backward, feeling sick. "You [I]killed[/I] her because you wanted her baby!" She willed him to deny it.
Grant didn't say anything, remained expressionless. It was all the acknowledgment Liz needed. She brought her hands up to her mouth in horror. "Max." She could feel herself getting dizzy.
"Out," Max ordered, obviously sensing her impending meltdown. "Everyone out of here, now." Liz could hear him distantly. She allowed herself to rest her forehead against his chest, ordered herself to take deep breaths to calm down. "Michael, get them out of here."
"Max, I want to stay," Liz heard Tess say.
"Tess, just go. She'll be okay," Max told her firmly. "We'll just be a second." Liz was concentrating on her breathing, felt it come more regularly when she felt Max's hand start to stroke her hair comfortingly. "Maria." he urged quietly because Tess obviously wasn't moving.
"C'mon Tess," Maria said. "I know Liz. She's strong, but she can only take so much. That she hasn't had a freak-out before now.She's [I]too[/I] strong sometimes. She needs to be with Max."
She just wanted them all gone. Now. She closed her eyes and willed them to leave. While she loved them all, she did not need any witnesses for her potential freak-out. Kate had already witnessed one. Liz didn't want Will's sister to think that she was insane. Although maybe she [I]was[/I] going insane. This was her second uncharacteristic meltdown in the space of twenty-four hours after all.
It seemed to take forever, but she felt when they were finally gone. Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, she allowed the tears to come. She started to tremble.
"Liz?" Max pulled back slightly. She could see from his expression that he was almost as angry as she was upset. "None of this is your fault. What happened to Hubble's wife.To your mom and dad..You cannot blame yourself. I won't let you blame yourself."
"Max, how can I not blame myself?" Liz demanded, wiping at her eyes in frustration. "He [I]killed[/I] her. And for nothing because it apparently didn't even work! He still had to put my mother at risk. And for what? Why am I so important? This is ridiculous!"
He shook his dark head. "Liz, it's not your fault."
"But maybe it [I]is[/I] Max. The fact that we had to be cloned in the first place and sent here.that we had to bring all these innocent people into our messed up existence.What right did we have to do that? So we were queens and kings and rulers? So what? We had no right. we [I]have[/I] no right! I don't care what happened to us. No group has the right to impose their own will on another. We [I]died[/I]. Maybe that's the way it was supposed to happen. Maybe we should have just stayed dead."
Liz could feel her anger getting the better of her. She turned her head, glared at the granolith. "This thing.It's completely dangerous. Playing with time-travel, playing with people's lives.We just have [I]no[/I] right!" She smacked it in a vain attempt to take some of her fury out on the stupid machine that had messed everything up.
It hurt. Liz blinked, stared at her hand in annoyance. "Ow."
"Are you okay?" Max demanded, grabbing her hand and examining it. She pulled it away, wanting to savor the pain. It was actually making her feel a little better. At least it had snapped her out of her red-hot rage. "Liz, you need to calm down. You are not acting like yourself."
"Probably because I don't know who I am anymore," Liz snapped.
"So we find out. We [I]are[/I] going to find out Liz," Max insisted. She turned to scowl at him, irritated. Didn't he get it? Whatever they found out, none of it was going to make any of this [I]right[/I]. "I can see that's not what you wanted to hear," he added mildly.
"I don't want you to say anything," Liz replied, knowing that she was being ridiculous. "I just want to rant for a moment okay?"
"Okay," he replied. "But can I just say something first?"
"Max!" She exclaimed in frustration, but she wasn't really mad. She was actually getting a little embarrassed that she was behaving like such a maniac. Maybe Maria was right. It had probably been a long time coming, what with destiny messages, summers away from her true love, Future Max, Copper Summit, Will and everything else that had happened over the past few months.
Okay, this freak-out had been coming since the shooting last year, she amended silently to herself. Her life was complete chaos! In spite of what Max said, no answers were going to be able to bring things back under control until she refused to allow things to just keep happening to her. She did believe that they could choose their own destiny, but that didn't mean she had been making any real attempt to do so.
It was time to take a stand.
"I just want you to think about something Liz," Max insisted, his worry at her behavior obvious. "What happened to Sheila Hubble, it is unacceptable. I agree. But we had no control over it. We can regret it, but we can't change it. And as for you parents, you cannot honestly tell me that you think they would [I]ever[/I] not want you, that they would ever change what happened?"
"Max, they don't know what happened!" Liz exclaimed.
"Liz, they don't [I]need[/I] to," Max reminded her. "To them, you are their daughter. Don't you think it would hurt them more to find out otherwise?" He reached out, putting his hands gently on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You are their miracle. What happened to them.it's a [I]good[/I] thing."
She stared at him, her emotions in turmoil. She felt like crying and laughing hysterically at the same time. "I don't feel much like a miracle right now," she finally muttered. "I'm a mess."
"Liz," Max sighed in exasperation. "You're [I]allowed[/I] to be a mess! Are you ever going to accept that?"
Liz smiled slightly in spite of herself. He looked about ready to tear his hair out. "Are you calling me a control freak?" Max sighed heavily, obviously at a loss about what she wanted him to say. "It's okay. I am a control freak. And so are you. Which is why this is so hard for both of us. We are completely out of control of this situation Max."
"The only way to get control back is to get answers Liz."
"I know," she whispered. She took a step forward, straight into his open arms. "But what if we don't like them Max? We're so close. All I've heard up until now.Max, even our protectors turned against us! What does that say?"
"I don't know. I wish I did. But we have to find out. We have no choice."
They stood quietly for a long moment. "I'm ready," Liz said at last. "Whatever he has to tell us, I'm ready to hear it. I know some of it's going to be bad, but as long as we agree that we'll fix anything we can, I can bear it."
Max pulled back, stared at her, hard. "Are you saying you'll accept what we can't change?"
"I don't have any choice, do I?" Liz sighed. She reached up, pushed a dark lock of hair off his forehead. "And I have to admit, there are many, many things I wouldn't change at all." She stood on her tip-toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I can't believe you actually love me. I'm turning into a complete psycho."
He pulled her tightly against him. "Not psycho. It's just you. You are the most compassionate person I know. The fact that who we are has hurt others.of course it's going to bother you. It bothers me too. Just because it does, doesn't mean you're crazy. I'd be more worried if it didn't."
"Are you telling me that you want me to freak-out more often?" Liz asked.
"Um." Max wrinkled his brow. "Well, that's not necessary. But I do want you to know that if you need to freak-out, you're allowed to."
Liz smiled at him. "But only in front of you. Thank you for getting them all out of here. I so did not need witnesses for that."
"Can I bring them back?"
Liz nodded firmly. "Let's get this over with."
***
The group Max had just tossed unceremoniously out of the granolith chamber stood uncomfortably around the main cave, most of them refusing to meet each other's eyes, knowing that if they shouldn't continue talking until Max and Liz were with them again.
Kate was keeping her eye on Michael, concerned about Liz, but knowing somehow that Max would be able to handle that situation.
No one else seemed to have noticed that Michael's top was just about ready to blow, preoccupied as they were by how upset Liz was. Even Maria was still staring at the pods, worried, her attention completely focused on her best friend.
Michael was the only one, other than Kate, with something else on his mind. And whatever it was, it was pissing him off - big time. He was staring at the shapeshifter, his eyes narrowed. The protector had taken the opportunity of the short break to shift back into Grant Sorenson, obviously a form in which he felt more comfortable.
And, so, Kate thought she was probably the only one completely not surprised when Michael broke the silence. "I want to know something," he said through gritted teeth.
"Michael, we should wait," Maria reminded him.
"This has nothing to do with Max and Liz," Michael snapped. Maria blinked, but didn't seem upset. "If he's supposed to be our protector, why did he have me thrown in jail last month? What the hell was [I]that[/I] about? Those bones should have stayed hidden."
[I]Michael was in jail?[/I] Kate thought, surprised. She looked at Kyle, who was standing next to her.
"It's a long story," he muttered under his breath. "Suffice it to say, Max had a little trouble with the FBI last year. We had to take care of it."
"You [I]killed[/I] someone?" Kate whispered, felt her eyes widening.
"It was an accident," Kyle assured her. "Michael was protecting my dad. He had no choice."
"I knew the Sheriff would get you out of that," Grant said. "There was no danger."
"And, yet, somehow that doesn't answer my question," Michael replied, obviously struggling to control his temper. "Why the hell did you dig them up in the first place?"
"To prove to Nasedo that I was working with him and not for you," Grant shrugged. "I've been protecting you for a long time. He found out about some of it and wasn't willing to believe that I was ready to join the cause for real this time. And I [I]had[/I] to make him believe."
"You've been [I]protecting[/I] them?" Maria demanded, sounding incredulous. "How do you call letting Michael grow up with that ass Hank protection?"
Grant's eyes narrowed. "Once I knew how bad it truly was, I took care of it."
Kate saw Michael and Maria glance at each other. "What is [I]that[/I] supposed to mean?" Michael finally asked, sounding slightly appeased, although also a little worried.
"Don't worry about it," Grant said firmly. "Hank [I]was[/I] an ass." He quirked a grin at Maria. "He got what he deserved."
"Why doesn't that make me feel better?" Kyle muttered to Kate.
"But." Michael trailed off, uncertain.
"What Michael? Just ask," Grant said, sounding annoyed. "I'm here to answer your questions."
"Why didn't [I]you[/I] look after us? You've obviously known where we were all along."
"You were kept safer by blending in," Grant told him. "Being normal has kept you alive."
"But we were [I]never[/I] normal!" Michael flared. "Don't you think our lives would have been a bit easier if we'd known who we were?"
"It was too soon for you to know," Grant replied. "You were too young and were of no use to anyone - including yourselves. You would have just gotten yourselves killed, defeating the whole purpose of your existence."
"Which is?" Michael demanded. His fists were clenched at his sides in frustration. Kate watched Maria take his arm, obviously trying to help him control himself.
"That's for you to find out on your own," Grant said. "I will tell you as much as I can, but the granolith is the only place where your purpose can be uncovered."
"Speaking of the granolith." Tess spoke up here. She had been listening quietly, but Kate could tell now that her attention was still more focused on what was going on between Max and Liz. "Do you think they're okay in there?"
It was just at that moment that Max's dark head poked itself out of the bottom pod. "Everything's fine. You guys can come back in." He backed away again.
"You know, I'm getting really tired of this," Kyle sighed, as he dropped to his hands and knees in front of Kate and crawled through the pods again.
Kate was inclined to agree. As much as she wanted to hear what Grant had to tell them, with every passing moment she was becoming more and more concerned about Will and the others.
She even admitted to herself that it was Alex in particular she was worried about. He was completely expendable. The shapeshifters obviously had no qualms about killing humans one way or the other. What if Nasedo had decided to just.
[I]Stop it![/I] Kate ordered herself firmly. [I] Stop thinking about it. He's fine. He [/I]has[I] to be fine. If Nasedo wanted to kill him, he would have just done it when he captured us.[/I]
Yet, she was still afraid. She knew that the way she felt about him was pointless, that he was never going to feel the same, but she had come to realize that she had no control over her heart. She cared and that was all there was to it.
If nothing else, knowing Alex had made her understand Zan and the others a bit more. Now she got why these humans were so important to them, why their fear and concern for them was so intense. Humans were frail and backward, with a knowledge of the universe that was sadly lacking, but they were still good and worthwhile beings. She had never had the opportunity to know a human like she felt she knew Alex.
She had never had a chance to [I]feel[/I] just a little bit human, to acknowledge that she was just as much an Earth dweller as she was a Sardican now.
For the first time ever, she had started to think about the kind of life she might lead were she to not go back. She was beginning to understand that the memories she possessed were real, that while they might not be in order with what had really happened, they were what she - at least that other her - had known.
She wanted to find out the truth, their purpose, why they were all together and on Earth. She wanted to know if maybe her destiny was on this planet now and not on Sardica.
She wanted to know all of this for one simple reason.
It was all because of Alex Whitman. He had changed her in the space of twenty-four hours. And even if he didn't really care, she would always be grateful to him.
She wanted to be able to tell him that - just once. Because she was pretty sure he didn't have any idea how amazing he really was. In spite of everything, it was [I]all[/I] she really wanted, to be able to tell him that.
And that was the scariest thing of all. Anything Grant was about to tell them paled in comparison.
Kate shook her head as she emerged into the granolith chamber again. The fact that she was standing in the granolith and didn't particularly care reinforced the [I]real[/I] truth of the matter.
She didn't just care about Alex. She was a complete goner.
To be continued.
Liz was still clutching Max's hand, even though he had dropped his shield. She could feel his shock intermingling with her own. If Grant was the other protector, why had it taken him so long to reveal himself? Not to mention, did the fact that he was one of the shapeshifters that had been sent in the ship with their pods necessarily mean that he [I]was[/I] a protector? Nasedo had certainly proven himself a fraud on that front.
The man - Liz found it hard to think of him as Grant now that he looked nothing like Grant - was watching Max and Liz, expressionless now, all of his joking charm gone. The granolith chamber was quiet, as though everyone was still trying to absorb the shock of what had just happened.
He could provide the answers they needed and, yet, they were all just standing there staring at him. Although she had never known Nasedo to be straightforward, the possibility that this new alien might be able to give them some concrete information.this opportunity could not be wasted.
Just because Liz knew they shouldn't trust him didn't mean that she wasn't going to at least listen to what he had to say.
Liz bit her lip, voicing the first question that came to mind. "Why did you decide to reveal yourself now? We never even knew you were a shapeshifter and if we had, we probably would have just thought you were Nasedo."
"I told you Rowena, you weren't ready," the shapeshifter shrugged. He was still staring at her with his dark, unreadable eyes, making her shift uncomfortably. "Are you afraid?" He sounded slightly surprised, as though he hadn't expected it. What was wrong with him? How could he not know that they were all terrified. That not knowing who they really were was frightening and that finding out only bits and pieces at a time was making it worse?
"A little," was all she would admit to though. "Why.Why weren't we ready?"
The shapeshifter smiled slightly. "Not 'we' Liz. The others have always known who they were. What I meant was that [I]you[/I] weren't ready."
"I didn't know who [I]I[/I] was either!" Tess intervened, sounding a bit defensive. Liz looked at her, felt a rush of affection. Her sister was clearly trying to make it clear that she was not willing to have Liz singled out as different in any way. It continued to amaze Liz that she already felt so close to Tess. With all their history, it shouldn't have been so easy.
But, then, who they were now.It wasn't really them. The relationship that had existed between them before was obviously stronger than any petty differences this time around.
The sheer irony of the whole situation was that intellectually Liz knew that they [I]weren't[/I] petty differences. Some of what Tess had done was almost unforgivable. And, yet, Liz found herself not caring, just wanted to embrace Tess for who she had been - not for who she was now. Which was actually a bit of a problem. It was almost like they had absolutely no control over their lives anymore. In spite of what she had said to Max earlier, about them still being able to choose their destiny, it was beginning to look like that wasn't true at all.
Liz wondered if the granolith had anything to do with it, whether maybe it was helping their bonds to forge again, without them even knowing it.
It was obvious that it was the centre of their entire existence, that it could indeed provide all the answers. And, suddenly, anything Grant had to say didn't seem quite as scary. Because somehow they would find out anyway. They [I]had[/I] to know one way or the other. What had come before was invading this life to such a degree that they could no longer avoid the truth.
To be able to reclaim their lives, they needed to know.
"No," Grant was conceding to Tess. "But that was because you were lied to - to a certain degree anyway. You always knew you were special." He looked back at Liz. "This one though." He shook his head. "It was to be expected I suppose. She is far more human than the rest of you."
"But [I]why[/I]?" Max demanded, squeezing Liz's hand. Liz knew that this had been bothering him, even if he would never admit it. Why had he recognized her and she hadn't started to know him until he had healed her? "What happened? I knew her the instant I laid eyes on her. Why was she separated from us?"
"Her pod was the most damaged in the crash," the shapeshifter replied. "I tried several different methods to repair it, down to replacing the human DNA, which is why Rowena and Serena are no longer identical. They were meant to be. None of my attempts worked though. You were dying. It was finally necessary to find a new womb."
"My mother." Liz breathed. "How?"
"She couldn't have children," Grant replied. "Your grandmother was a friend of mine. She told me of your mother's problem, mainly because she witnessed my healing abilities. She wanted me to help her. And so I did. Just not in the way your grandmother envisioned." He sounded mildly sorry about that. "I only told Claudia Parker the truth after your birth, in case there were any side effects because of your heritage. In case your gifts presented themselves. They never did though. Your growth in a human womb affected your development further than I foresaw."
Liz's eyes widened at the news that her Grandma Claudia had always known the truth about her. She wondered if she should be upset that her grandmother had never told her any of this. "And my parents have no idea?" She asked, unsure how she was supposed to feel about this revelation. She had accepted the fact that she wasn't completely human, but to know that she wasn't even really Nancy and Jeff Parker's child.She hadn't allowed herself to think about it before.
Max seemed to sense her uncertainty because his arm came up around her waist. She leaned against him gratefully.
"They do not," Grant told her. "And they don't need to. To them you are their daughter. It all worked out for the best. It kept you safe. Nasedo doesn't know who you are. Or at least he didn't until that one's brother started raving about having found Rowena." He looked at Kate when he said this. She raised her chin and glared at him for his barely veiled insult of Will. His disdain was apparent when he continued, "Khivar never could keep his mouth shut. It got him into a galaxy's worth of trouble before and he's continuing the trend."
But Liz was only listening with half an ear now, trying to put all the pieces together. Everything they already knew, everything they had found out over the last year.It all had to fit somehow. He had said something about replacing the human DNA first. "Oh my God," she gasped, the truth dawning on her suddenly. "You killed Sheila Hubble!" She took a step backward, feeling sick. "You [I]killed[/I] her because you wanted her baby!" She willed him to deny it.
Grant didn't say anything, remained expressionless. It was all the acknowledgment Liz needed. She brought her hands up to her mouth in horror. "Max." She could feel herself getting dizzy.
"Out," Max ordered, obviously sensing her impending meltdown. "Everyone out of here, now." Liz could hear him distantly. She allowed herself to rest her forehead against his chest, ordered herself to take deep breaths to calm down. "Michael, get them out of here."
"Max, I want to stay," Liz heard Tess say.
"Tess, just go. She'll be okay," Max told her firmly. "We'll just be a second." Liz was concentrating on her breathing, felt it come more regularly when she felt Max's hand start to stroke her hair comfortingly. "Maria." he urged quietly because Tess obviously wasn't moving.
"C'mon Tess," Maria said. "I know Liz. She's strong, but she can only take so much. That she hasn't had a freak-out before now.She's [I]too[/I] strong sometimes. She needs to be with Max."
She just wanted them all gone. Now. She closed her eyes and willed them to leave. While she loved them all, she did not need any witnesses for her potential freak-out. Kate had already witnessed one. Liz didn't want Will's sister to think that she was insane. Although maybe she [I]was[/I] going insane. This was her second uncharacteristic meltdown in the space of twenty-four hours after all.
It seemed to take forever, but she felt when they were finally gone. Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, she allowed the tears to come. She started to tremble.
"Liz?" Max pulled back slightly. She could see from his expression that he was almost as angry as she was upset. "None of this is your fault. What happened to Hubble's wife.To your mom and dad..You cannot blame yourself. I won't let you blame yourself."
"Max, how can I not blame myself?" Liz demanded, wiping at her eyes in frustration. "He [I]killed[/I] her. And for nothing because it apparently didn't even work! He still had to put my mother at risk. And for what? Why am I so important? This is ridiculous!"
He shook his dark head. "Liz, it's not your fault."
"But maybe it [I]is[/I] Max. The fact that we had to be cloned in the first place and sent here.that we had to bring all these innocent people into our messed up existence.What right did we have to do that? So we were queens and kings and rulers? So what? We had no right. we [I]have[/I] no right! I don't care what happened to us. No group has the right to impose their own will on another. We [I]died[/I]. Maybe that's the way it was supposed to happen. Maybe we should have just stayed dead."
Liz could feel her anger getting the better of her. She turned her head, glared at the granolith. "This thing.It's completely dangerous. Playing with time-travel, playing with people's lives.We just have [I]no[/I] right!" She smacked it in a vain attempt to take some of her fury out on the stupid machine that had messed everything up.
It hurt. Liz blinked, stared at her hand in annoyance. "Ow."
"Are you okay?" Max demanded, grabbing her hand and examining it. She pulled it away, wanting to savor the pain. It was actually making her feel a little better. At least it had snapped her out of her red-hot rage. "Liz, you need to calm down. You are not acting like yourself."
"Probably because I don't know who I am anymore," Liz snapped.
"So we find out. We [I]are[/I] going to find out Liz," Max insisted. She turned to scowl at him, irritated. Didn't he get it? Whatever they found out, none of it was going to make any of this [I]right[/I]. "I can see that's not what you wanted to hear," he added mildly.
"I don't want you to say anything," Liz replied, knowing that she was being ridiculous. "I just want to rant for a moment okay?"
"Okay," he replied. "But can I just say something first?"
"Max!" She exclaimed in frustration, but she wasn't really mad. She was actually getting a little embarrassed that she was behaving like such a maniac. Maybe Maria was right. It had probably been a long time coming, what with destiny messages, summers away from her true love, Future Max, Copper Summit, Will and everything else that had happened over the past few months.
Okay, this freak-out had been coming since the shooting last year, she amended silently to herself. Her life was complete chaos! In spite of what Max said, no answers were going to be able to bring things back under control until she refused to allow things to just keep happening to her. She did believe that they could choose their own destiny, but that didn't mean she had been making any real attempt to do so.
It was time to take a stand.
"I just want you to think about something Liz," Max insisted, his worry at her behavior obvious. "What happened to Sheila Hubble, it is unacceptable. I agree. But we had no control over it. We can regret it, but we can't change it. And as for you parents, you cannot honestly tell me that you think they would [I]ever[/I] not want you, that they would ever change what happened?"
"Max, they don't know what happened!" Liz exclaimed.
"Liz, they don't [I]need[/I] to," Max reminded her. "To them, you are their daughter. Don't you think it would hurt them more to find out otherwise?" He reached out, putting his hands gently on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You are their miracle. What happened to them.it's a [I]good[/I] thing."
She stared at him, her emotions in turmoil. She felt like crying and laughing hysterically at the same time. "I don't feel much like a miracle right now," she finally muttered. "I'm a mess."
"Liz," Max sighed in exasperation. "You're [I]allowed[/I] to be a mess! Are you ever going to accept that?"
Liz smiled slightly in spite of herself. He looked about ready to tear his hair out. "Are you calling me a control freak?" Max sighed heavily, obviously at a loss about what she wanted him to say. "It's okay. I am a control freak. And so are you. Which is why this is so hard for both of us. We are completely out of control of this situation Max."
"The only way to get control back is to get answers Liz."
"I know," she whispered. She took a step forward, straight into his open arms. "But what if we don't like them Max? We're so close. All I've heard up until now.Max, even our protectors turned against us! What does that say?"
"I don't know. I wish I did. But we have to find out. We have no choice."
They stood quietly for a long moment. "I'm ready," Liz said at last. "Whatever he has to tell us, I'm ready to hear it. I know some of it's going to be bad, but as long as we agree that we'll fix anything we can, I can bear it."
Max pulled back, stared at her, hard. "Are you saying you'll accept what we can't change?"
"I don't have any choice, do I?" Liz sighed. She reached up, pushed a dark lock of hair off his forehead. "And I have to admit, there are many, many things I wouldn't change at all." She stood on her tip-toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I can't believe you actually love me. I'm turning into a complete psycho."
He pulled her tightly against him. "Not psycho. It's just you. You are the most compassionate person I know. The fact that who we are has hurt others.of course it's going to bother you. It bothers me too. Just because it does, doesn't mean you're crazy. I'd be more worried if it didn't."
"Are you telling me that you want me to freak-out more often?" Liz asked.
"Um." Max wrinkled his brow. "Well, that's not necessary. But I do want you to know that if you need to freak-out, you're allowed to."
Liz smiled at him. "But only in front of you. Thank you for getting them all out of here. I so did not need witnesses for that."
"Can I bring them back?"
Liz nodded firmly. "Let's get this over with."
***
The group Max had just tossed unceremoniously out of the granolith chamber stood uncomfortably around the main cave, most of them refusing to meet each other's eyes, knowing that if they shouldn't continue talking until Max and Liz were with them again.
Kate was keeping her eye on Michael, concerned about Liz, but knowing somehow that Max would be able to handle that situation.
No one else seemed to have noticed that Michael's top was just about ready to blow, preoccupied as they were by how upset Liz was. Even Maria was still staring at the pods, worried, her attention completely focused on her best friend.
Michael was the only one, other than Kate, with something else on his mind. And whatever it was, it was pissing him off - big time. He was staring at the shapeshifter, his eyes narrowed. The protector had taken the opportunity of the short break to shift back into Grant Sorenson, obviously a form in which he felt more comfortable.
And, so, Kate thought she was probably the only one completely not surprised when Michael broke the silence. "I want to know something," he said through gritted teeth.
"Michael, we should wait," Maria reminded him.
"This has nothing to do with Max and Liz," Michael snapped. Maria blinked, but didn't seem upset. "If he's supposed to be our protector, why did he have me thrown in jail last month? What the hell was [I]that[/I] about? Those bones should have stayed hidden."
[I]Michael was in jail?[/I] Kate thought, surprised. She looked at Kyle, who was standing next to her.
"It's a long story," he muttered under his breath. "Suffice it to say, Max had a little trouble with the FBI last year. We had to take care of it."
"You [I]killed[/I] someone?" Kate whispered, felt her eyes widening.
"It was an accident," Kyle assured her. "Michael was protecting my dad. He had no choice."
"I knew the Sheriff would get you out of that," Grant said. "There was no danger."
"And, yet, somehow that doesn't answer my question," Michael replied, obviously struggling to control his temper. "Why the hell did you dig them up in the first place?"
"To prove to Nasedo that I was working with him and not for you," Grant shrugged. "I've been protecting you for a long time. He found out about some of it and wasn't willing to believe that I was ready to join the cause for real this time. And I [I]had[/I] to make him believe."
"You've been [I]protecting[/I] them?" Maria demanded, sounding incredulous. "How do you call letting Michael grow up with that ass Hank protection?"
Grant's eyes narrowed. "Once I knew how bad it truly was, I took care of it."
Kate saw Michael and Maria glance at each other. "What is [I]that[/I] supposed to mean?" Michael finally asked, sounding slightly appeased, although also a little worried.
"Don't worry about it," Grant said firmly. "Hank [I]was[/I] an ass." He quirked a grin at Maria. "He got what he deserved."
"Why doesn't that make me feel better?" Kyle muttered to Kate.
"But." Michael trailed off, uncertain.
"What Michael? Just ask," Grant said, sounding annoyed. "I'm here to answer your questions."
"Why didn't [I]you[/I] look after us? You've obviously known where we were all along."
"You were kept safer by blending in," Grant told him. "Being normal has kept you alive."
"But we were [I]never[/I] normal!" Michael flared. "Don't you think our lives would have been a bit easier if we'd known who we were?"
"It was too soon for you to know," Grant replied. "You were too young and were of no use to anyone - including yourselves. You would have just gotten yourselves killed, defeating the whole purpose of your existence."
"Which is?" Michael demanded. His fists were clenched at his sides in frustration. Kate watched Maria take his arm, obviously trying to help him control himself.
"That's for you to find out on your own," Grant said. "I will tell you as much as I can, but the granolith is the only place where your purpose can be uncovered."
"Speaking of the granolith." Tess spoke up here. She had been listening quietly, but Kate could tell now that her attention was still more focused on what was going on between Max and Liz. "Do you think they're okay in there?"
It was just at that moment that Max's dark head poked itself out of the bottom pod. "Everything's fine. You guys can come back in." He backed away again.
"You know, I'm getting really tired of this," Kyle sighed, as he dropped to his hands and knees in front of Kate and crawled through the pods again.
Kate was inclined to agree. As much as she wanted to hear what Grant had to tell them, with every passing moment she was becoming more and more concerned about Will and the others.
She even admitted to herself that it was Alex in particular she was worried about. He was completely expendable. The shapeshifters obviously had no qualms about killing humans one way or the other. What if Nasedo had decided to just.
[I]Stop it![/I] Kate ordered herself firmly. [I] Stop thinking about it. He's fine. He [/I]has[I] to be fine. If Nasedo wanted to kill him, he would have just done it when he captured us.[/I]
Yet, she was still afraid. She knew that the way she felt about him was pointless, that he was never going to feel the same, but she had come to realize that she had no control over her heart. She cared and that was all there was to it.
If nothing else, knowing Alex had made her understand Zan and the others a bit more. Now she got why these humans were so important to them, why their fear and concern for them was so intense. Humans were frail and backward, with a knowledge of the universe that was sadly lacking, but they were still good and worthwhile beings. She had never had the opportunity to know a human like she felt she knew Alex.
She had never had a chance to [I]feel[/I] just a little bit human, to acknowledge that she was just as much an Earth dweller as she was a Sardican now.
For the first time ever, she had started to think about the kind of life she might lead were she to not go back. She was beginning to understand that the memories she possessed were real, that while they might not be in order with what had really happened, they were what she - at least that other her - had known.
She wanted to find out the truth, their purpose, why they were all together and on Earth. She wanted to know if maybe her destiny was on this planet now and not on Sardica.
She wanted to know all of this for one simple reason.
It was all because of Alex Whitman. He had changed her in the space of twenty-four hours. And even if he didn't really care, she would always be grateful to him.
She wanted to be able to tell him that - just once. Because she was pretty sure he didn't have any idea how amazing he really was. In spite of everything, it was [I]all[/I] she really wanted, to be able to tell him that.
And that was the scariest thing of all. Anything Grant was about to tell them paled in comparison.
Kate shook her head as she emerged into the granolith chamber again. The fact that she was standing in the granolith and didn't particularly care reinforced the [I]real[/I] truth of the matter.
She didn't just care about Alex. She was a complete goner.
To be continued.