[u]Part 42[/u]
"Guerin, if you don't stop that, I'm going to kick your ass, Buddha be damned," Kyle exclaimed, making Liz heave a sigh of relief. Michael's pacing had slowly been driving her insane too. In fact, she was beginning to get a head-ache from watching him. He had been at it since they had climbed out of the granolith close to half an hour before.
"Language, Kyle," the sheriff said mildly from the corner where he stood against the wall, his arms folded across his chest, his patience clearly greater than either Kyle or Liz's. Liz watched Kyle give his dad an incredulous look, as though not quite believing that his father was bothering to comment on his choice of words when they were presently in the middle of an alien crisis. Liz raised her hand and covered a smile just in time. Max had been right earlier when he'd said that if they didn't keep their senses of humour, they were all going to go crazy.
"I still don't understand why we can't just [I]try[/I]," Michael complained, having thankfully paused in the midst of his 3000th trek back across the pod chamber, although apparently refusing to dignify Kyle with an answer. He was staring right at Liz, a scowl on his face.
"Michael," Liz sighed. "I told Max that we were going to try and figure the granolith out, but it's wrong to mess with it any further until everyone's here. We've already gone over this."
And they had. What was still amazing to Liz was that Michael had [I]listened[/I] to her. She had told him not to touch anything and he had complied, even though it was obviously the last thing he wanted to do. She wasn't quite sure what it meant, but it made her a little uncomfortable. She remembered what Maria had told her about Michael calling her "the queen" earlier. She still hadn't quite adjusted to the idea that she was indeed a leader of some sort. Not only that, she was apparently a leader Michael had chosen to obey.
It was beyond weird.
"Plus it might be dangerous, Mr. Guerin," the sheriff was adding. "I prefer to wait until we have Grant Sorenson back here so that he can confirm that the room we found will make the granolith work."
"That's ridiculous," Michael replied, obviously trying to modify his tone while addressing the sheriff, but still sounding a little rude. "He admitted himself that he doesn't know how to make it run."
"Be that as it may." The sheriff shrugged. "Humour me. At least let me pretend that you need an adult of some sort around."
Liz grimaced, exchanged a glance with Maria, who raised her eyebrows. That had been a little pointed. Liz couldn't blame the sheriff for being annoyed at them though. They [I]had[/I] been keeping him out of the loop lately.
"Sheriff." she started, deciding that she owed him an apology on behalf of all of them.
His blue-eyed gaze met hers kindly. "Don't worry about it, Miss Parker," he reassured her. "I get that maybe I'm more of a nuisance than a help sometimes. I appreciate Max trying to protect me, but I'm in this by choice. I've [I]always[/I] been in by choice. If it takes some more time for you all to accept that completely, I understand."
"It's not that we don't trust you sheriff," Liz replied. "Really it isn't. Max just doesn't want you to end up in a situation where you find your loyalties divided." She sighed. "We haven't always been completely law- abiding after all."
"It seems to me that the law hasn't always been abiding either," Valenti reminded her mildly. "When the FBI did what they did to Max last spring, my loyalty was decided once and for all. You kids need someone working with you, not against you. I want to do what I can, but, in order for that to happen, I need some cooperation."
Liz glanced at Kyle, who shrugged. "I'll talk to Max," she promised. "He just finds it really hard to ask for help."
"Well, he made a step in that direction tonight by getting Kyle to call me," the sheriff told her. "Maybe he's learning."
"We're all learning a hell of a lot more than we ever wanted to," Michael muttered. "Not that's it done us any good so far."
"Michael, will you just give it a rest?" Maria snapped. "You're going to get your bloody answers! Why can't you wait like everyone else? I mean, aren't you even worried about them? They should have been back by now!"
Michael looked at her in surprise, then scowled. "Of course I'm worried! Why do you think I'm focusing on the fricking granolith? I'm trying to keep my mind off of it! My entire family is out there, Maria."
"My best friend is out there, Michael! And he's the only one Nasedo has no need to keep alive. Has that even crossed your mind? That Alex might [I]die[/I] because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time?"
"What are you saying, Maria?" Michael demanded. "I've told you a thousand times it's not safe being with me - with any human to be with us. Are you saying you want out? Because if you want out, then get the hell out! I wasn't the one who asked you to be here! If I remember correctly, you made that choice yourself! I've been trying to keep you out of this from the very beginning."
Liz felt her eyes widen. "Michael." She warned. She could see that his face was already reddening though, like he knew he'd gone too far.
It was clear, however, that Maria wasn't upset. She was too angry. Liz could practically see steam coming out of her best friend's ears.
"Buddha, have mercy," Kyle muttered. "What have I done to deserve having to listen to this?"
"Guys, can we just chill please?" Liz tried again. "They're going to be back soon. I know they are. We're getting all worked up here. It's not doing us any good to freak out on each other just because we're worried."
Maria turned her back on Michael, folding her arms over her chest, and looking at Liz. "I'm sorry, Lizzie, but he just drives me nuts sometimes." She looked over her shoulder at Michael and added pointedly, "I'm going to completely ignore everything he just said because I know he didn't mean a word of it, even if he wants me to think he did."
Michael pressed his lips together, as though willing himself not to say anything further. Liz knew that the only reason he was doing it was because Maria was right. They all settled back into a tense silence. Liz saw Kyle roll his eyes when Michael started to pace again.
Fortunately for them all, it was no more than five minutes later that Liz perked up, her entire mood brightening. "They're back!" She exclaimed. She could feel Max's presence, knew that he was nearby. In fact, not two minutes later, the entrance to the pod chamber slid open, bringing the sun with it. Liz didn't even notice that day had come again though. She was across the pod chamber and in Max's arms before he even had a chance to straighten completely.
While she had known deep within her that she would have felt it if something had happened to him, it was still reassuring to be able to touch him, to [I]know[/I] with certainty that he had returned to her in one piece. She hugged him tightly, breathing him in, her relief so great, she hadn't realized how truly worried she was until now.
"I'm okay," he whispered. "Everything's okay."
It was clear when she finally pulled back that this wasn't entirely true. She turned her head, slightly uncomfortable for some reason. It wasn't unexpected to discover that someone was staring at her. She met Will's blue eyes, blushed at the intensity with which his gaze was piercing her. She realized that this was the first time he had truly seen her with Max. The only other time they had all been in the same company, she had thought she was Serena and had been staying as far away from Max as physically possible.
Liz looked away from Will, biting her lip. She felt Max take her hand, squeeze reassuringly, as though he understood exactly what she was thinking. She felt a rush of love for him, returned her gaze to Will, almost defiant. He was going to have to accept that whatever he might have thought about her in the past, she was not his wife. In fact, Rowena never had been. She felt sorry for him, but it didn't mean that she was going to hide her true feelings for Max. She had spent far too much time trying to pretend that he wasn't her entire world. She would never do it again - not for anyone.
Will's expression remained stony, but he looked away first.
It was then that Liz took the time to glance around the pod chamber, which was now practically bursting at the seams, with so many new people in it.
She felt her eyes widen as she took in Congresswoman Whittaker's unexpected presence. She wasn't entirely surprised though. There had been so many crazy revelations over the past few days, nothing shocked her now.
Alex was standing nearby, Maria still clinging to him, as though not quite believing that he was really there. Liz wanted to hug him, but she could see that he was pre-occupied. She gasped slightly when she understood why. Jack and a man Liz didn't recognize were gently laying Kate's lifeless body on the ground near the pods.
"Oh my God," Liz whispered, looking up at Max for an explanation. She could see the strain around his eyes as he ran a weary hand through his dark hair.
"Serena says she'll be okay," Max said reassuringly, although Liz wondered if he was really trying to convince himself.
"Serena?" She asked, glancing over at Tess, who was standing near Kyle, the man Liz didn't recognize now hovering behind her. Tess met her eyes, shook her blonde head once, firmly, then looked at Whittaker.
The congresswoman smiled at Liz. "I'm Serena, Liz."
This was apparently news to Will and Jack as well, because they both turned their heads to stare at her. She nodded. "It's true, boys. I am Serena of Valonia."
"Who the hell is Serena of Valonia?" Will demanded, his eyes narrowed. "Your name is Venora."
"It is not," she told him quietly. "Venora is an identity Nicholas and I came up with until you were ready to hear the truth."
"Are you even Sardican?" Jack asked, his tone less confrontational than Will's.
"No," Whittaker replied. "I am Valonian." She lowered her gaze for a moment, then continued quickly, "I am Rowena's clone."
Liz grimaced. She watched Will's entire body go rigid with shock. She had a feeling that this was not going to go well at all. The dark-haired boy had seemed on the verge of completely losing it when she had met his eyes before. Now he started shaking slightly, as though barely controlling himself. Liz didn't blame him. His sister was apparently dead; she, Liz had no intention of being with him; and, now, he was being told that his wife had been cloned. "Um.You know what? I think I need to talk to Will - alone. Is it safe to go outside?"
Liz felt Max tense through where they were still joined by their hands. "It's okay," she said to him softly, looking up and meeting his eyes.
He frowned slightly, but nodded, "It's safe." He looked at Whittaker. "Let Liz tell him the truth. You and I need to get the granolith ready."
"Oh, that reminds me," Liz said. She had already moved away from Max, had taken Will by the hand and was leading him towards the pod chamber entrance. He slipped away from her in her distraction, preceding her out. "We found out how to make the granolith work. Well, Maria did," she amended. Liz glanced at Michael, smiled slightly. "Michael can show you." And, then, she realized even that wasn't necessary. "Or I guess Serena can." She looked over at Whittaker, who was still watching Will, a worried expression on her face. She seemed to become aware of Liz's regard, however, and nodded.
Meeting Max's gaze once more, Liz smiled at him reassuringly. He was still frowning, but he managed to smile back.
Moments later she was breathing the fresh air of a bright New Mexico morning. She had been in the pod chamber for close to half a day. It was a relief to get out of there. Not that she was particularly excited to have this conversation. But she was looking for small blessings.
Having exited the pod chamber before her, when Liz emerged, Will was standing on the edge of the cliff, staring off into the distance. Now he turned back, his expression inscrutable again.
"So, what are you supposed to be explaining to me?" Will asked. He was no longer confrontational, or even upset. He just sounded exhausted. "My sister is dead. My wife is in love with my enemy. I think I pretty much get it."
"You don't get it," Liz told him firmly. She wasn't going to beat around the bush with him. He needed to know the truth and he needed it now, before this entire affair became even more entangled. "I'm not your wife, Will. I was [I]never[/I] your wife. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but it's the truth. Rowena and Khivar were never married."
He stared at her dully. "Really? Oh well, then, everything's fine. I'll just turn off all these memories and everything will be great." His tone was sarcastic, but Liz could tell that he didn't really mean it - that he didn't really [I]care[/I] anymore.
"You don't understand," Liz said, softening slightly. "Your memories are real. Khivar [I]thought[/I] he was married to Rowena, but he was really married to her clone. To Serena. He was deceived. " She paused briefly, then decided that he had to know everything. "Tess is Serena."
"What?" Will demanded. That had gotten a reaction. In fact, he was beginning to look at her like she might be insane.
"It's true." She stepped forward, reached out and took his hand, no longer able to bear how solitary he seemed. "The marriage scarf that you gave me.It made her remember."
"That makes no sense," he insisted. "She's Ava. Why would they send two Rowenas? Zan was married to Ava."
"Don't you understand?" Liz asked. "There were always two of them. Rowena cloned herself and sent her clone to be your wife."
"Why? Why would she do that?" Will demanded. "She loved me."
Liz lowered her gaze, searching for a way to make him understand. "She did love Khivar, Will. She wanted him to be happy, but she knew that she could never make him happy. Because she didn't love him in the same way he loved her. She couldn't."
There was a long moment of silence. She raised her eyes to meet his. He was staring at her, comprehension dawning on her face. "They were right," he finally muttered, "I can't believe it, but they actually guessed right. I should have known. When has she [I]ever[/I] been wrong?"
"Who?" Liz asked, concerned by the way his face was freezing over.
"Kate and Alex," Will replied. "They guessed that this was what happened. That Rowena was in love with Zan. I couldn't believe it because I [I]remember[/I] the way she was with me." He shook his head. "But it wasn't even her. No wonder."
"I'm sorry."
He focused on her, frowned. "Why are [I]you[/I] sorry? It's not your fault, Liz. None of this has ever been your fault."
"But, in a way, it is my fault," Liz argued. "I'm [I]her[/I]."
"No," Will insisted. "You're not. I'm only beginning to realize how much we [I]aren't[/I] them." He pulled his hand from hers, moved away, stared out across the desert again.
Liz watched him silently for a few moments. She could see the tension in the line of his back, wondered what he was thinking. Finally, she couldn't wait any longer. After all, they only had a limited amount of time. Soon they were going to have to return to the pod chamber - return to the granolith - and they would know the truth once and for all.
"Will?" She asked tentatively.
He didn't turn to look at her, but he started to speak quietly - so quietly, Liz had to step forward in order to hear him. "I knew. Somehow I've known all along. But I ignored what I knew to be true from the moment I understood that you were in love with him. I was sure that he had tricked you, or was using you. And, so, I played dirty."
Liz felt her heart go out to him. "Will, you didn't. You've only ever been kind to me. I knew from the moment I met you that you would never hurt me, that I could trust you."
He turned, his eyes fierce. "You don't understand. You [I]can't[/I] trust me. I'm an awful person. You have no idea the stuff I've done, Liz."
"It can't be [I]that[/I] bad," Liz insisted. She couldn't have been so wrong about him, could she? She had felt attached to him from the moment she met him and her gift was supposed to be the ability to truly [I]see[/I] people. It was why she had never allowed her friends' doubts about him to sway her belief that he would never hurt her. And, yet, now here he was admitting that he had. She was already beginning to feel a little scared. What [I]had[/I] he done?
"Liz, I gave you that scarf knowing full well what it could do to you," Will told her.
Liz felt her eyes widen. "What?" She gasped.
"I thought you were Rowena, and I knew that it might bring her out, that you might get lost in the process. Nicholas told me that when he gave it to me. I wanted you so badly, I was willing to do anything to make you remember me. The fact that it didn't doesn't make it any better. "
She took a step backwards, disbelieving. "Oh my God. Will!"
"I'm sorry," he said, looking away again. "I know you won't believe it, but I am sorry. I'm just glad you weren't hurt."
"Will, it [I]did[/I] work," Liz told him. "I can't believe you did that to me!"
He stared at her. "It worked? I don't understand."
"All of yesterday, I was someone else. The only one who knew it was Max. He knows me so well, he could tell almost immediately. What happened only confirmed what I'm telling you now. I wasn't Rowena when it happened. I was [I]Serena.[/I] For a while, I was your wife, but it wasn't [I]me.[/I]"
She watched him carefully as he absorbed this. He looked momentarily shocked, and then just confused. Finally, he sighed. "I'm just so sorry, Liz. You have no idea how sorry I am," he finished bitterly. He met her eyes. "Because that wasn't all I did. When that didn't work, I did something even worse."
Liz closed her eyes for a moment. Her emotions were in turmoil. She could not grasp the depth of the betrayal that Will had perpetrated on her trust by giving her that scarf. And there was still more. How could it be any worse?
"I know that you're going to hate me after I finish telling you everything, but you need to know," Will said firmly. "I can't hide it any longer. It will all come out in the granolith anyway and, if not then, when we bring Kate back, she'll tell you."
"Kate is in on this?" Liz demanded.
"No," Will insisted. "But right before.Before what happened to her, I think she figured it out." His voice cracked and he looked down again. Liz was amazed that she could still feel sorry for him. He really was something of a monster, and, yet, she did believe that he had done whatever it was he had done out of some twisted sense of love for her. "I think Alex might eventually figure it out too," he added, his voice strengthening a bit as he got a hold of himself. "I made a mistake in front of him. He'll likely remember when Kate is brought back. He's too focused on her right now."
"Tell me," Liz prompted firmly, her heart now filled with dread. [I]How could I have been so wrong? How could I have been so wrong?[/I] It was like a death tattoo beating in her head. She had been so sure of him, so trusting. [I]How could I have been so wrong?[/I]
"When Nasedo first took us.Me, Alex and Kate I mean.He was disguised as Tess. He knocked Kate and Alex out, but me.Me, he kept conscious," Will said, sounding far away, as he remembered. He looked at her briefly. "Please understand that I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me, and I'm not trying to excuse what I did, but he tortured me. He mindraped me, showing me things that nearly killed me."
Liz felt tears fill her eyes. She remembered how Isabel had suffered in the message Nasedo had played for them. She still had no idea what the shapeshifter had done to Max's sister then, but she imagined it must have been terrible. That Will had experienced the same thing.She could believe that he might have agreed to do something awful to make it stop.
"What did he show you?" She asked.
"I think you can guess," Will told her. He met her gaze meaningfully. "With the way I feel about you, you can imagine what the worst possible thing for me to see would be."
Liz felt her heart stop, and then she felt slightly nauseous. "Oh my God. Did he show me with.?" She trailed off, unable to imagine that her privacy had been so violated, even if what Nasedo had shown Will had likely not been anything that she and Max had ever even done anyway.
"With Max," Will acknowledged. "But not only that. He showed me things from before - from our past lives I mean. Rowena with Zan. Things that I know now were probably true, but at the time I only imagined he was making me think could be true. Either way, I couldn't bear it. He got what he wanted from me."
"What did he want?" Liz asked, although she was pretty sure she had already figured it out.
"He wanted me to work with him to bring down Zan. Since it was the only thing I wanted anyway, I agreed," Will continued grimly. "I pretended to be his captive, but I was always free. The entire time I was in that compound, I could have escaped at any time."
Liz couldn't say anything. She just stared at him in horror.
"I never thought it would go so wrong. I [I]knew[/I] that he wanted us all alive." He paused, shook his head sharply. "But it's still no excuse," he added firmly. "What I'm telling you is that I could have left. That no one had to risk their lives coming for me, or Jack, or Isabel. That my gifts were fully accessible the entire time I was there. And now it's obvious that lives [I]were[/I] in danger. I let him take Alex, even when I was pretty sure that he was going to kill him. I didn't even try to intervene. I was so focused on saving you from Zan, on making you [I]remember[/I] that we belonged together, I was willing to do anything. I wanted Zan to come - because I knew he would - that he would come for Isabel and Alex - and I wanted him dead. I wanted the spell he was weaving over you broken and I was willing to do anything to get my way."
Will looked down, his voice softening as he came to the crux of the matter. "But that's not even the worst part. Liz, when my sister was shot down in cold blood, the first thought that crossed my mind wasn't that she was going to die and that I loved her and that I was going to miss her. No, my obsession was still so complete, that wasn't the first thing that I felt." His voice cracked again and Liz could tell that he was really crying now. She didn't know what to do. She was angry and, yet, his regret was so obvious. He was punishing himself far better than she ever could. And when he continued, she understood why. "My first sense was one of relief. Because I knew that she was the only one who knew for sure that I had betrayed you all - that I had betrayed everything I was created to be. And, if she was gone, you'd never know."
"Oh, Will." Liz knew there was nothing else to say. She couldn't even begin to imagine how he was going to live with himself after this. Because she knew him well enough to know that he would feel the guilt of this for the rest of his life.
"Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" He said, beginning to sound a little wild, totally unlike himself. "Because I think I've known the truth all along. From the moment I understood what was between you and Max, I've known it. And because I refused to accept it, I'm going to have to live with the fact that I wanted my sister dead more than I wanted him to win."
Will raised his haunted gaze to meet hers once more. "I'm going to have to live with the fact that I've allowed myself to become exactly the bastard I always took him for. The complete bastard I now know he never was."
"Guerin, if you don't stop that, I'm going to kick your ass, Buddha be damned," Kyle exclaimed, making Liz heave a sigh of relief. Michael's pacing had slowly been driving her insane too. In fact, she was beginning to get a head-ache from watching him. He had been at it since they had climbed out of the granolith close to half an hour before.
"Language, Kyle," the sheriff said mildly from the corner where he stood against the wall, his arms folded across his chest, his patience clearly greater than either Kyle or Liz's. Liz watched Kyle give his dad an incredulous look, as though not quite believing that his father was bothering to comment on his choice of words when they were presently in the middle of an alien crisis. Liz raised her hand and covered a smile just in time. Max had been right earlier when he'd said that if they didn't keep their senses of humour, they were all going to go crazy.
"I still don't understand why we can't just [I]try[/I]," Michael complained, having thankfully paused in the midst of his 3000th trek back across the pod chamber, although apparently refusing to dignify Kyle with an answer. He was staring right at Liz, a scowl on his face.
"Michael," Liz sighed. "I told Max that we were going to try and figure the granolith out, but it's wrong to mess with it any further until everyone's here. We've already gone over this."
And they had. What was still amazing to Liz was that Michael had [I]listened[/I] to her. She had told him not to touch anything and he had complied, even though it was obviously the last thing he wanted to do. She wasn't quite sure what it meant, but it made her a little uncomfortable. She remembered what Maria had told her about Michael calling her "the queen" earlier. She still hadn't quite adjusted to the idea that she was indeed a leader of some sort. Not only that, she was apparently a leader Michael had chosen to obey.
It was beyond weird.
"Plus it might be dangerous, Mr. Guerin," the sheriff was adding. "I prefer to wait until we have Grant Sorenson back here so that he can confirm that the room we found will make the granolith work."
"That's ridiculous," Michael replied, obviously trying to modify his tone while addressing the sheriff, but still sounding a little rude. "He admitted himself that he doesn't know how to make it run."
"Be that as it may." The sheriff shrugged. "Humour me. At least let me pretend that you need an adult of some sort around."
Liz grimaced, exchanged a glance with Maria, who raised her eyebrows. That had been a little pointed. Liz couldn't blame the sheriff for being annoyed at them though. They [I]had[/I] been keeping him out of the loop lately.
"Sheriff." she started, deciding that she owed him an apology on behalf of all of them.
His blue-eyed gaze met hers kindly. "Don't worry about it, Miss Parker," he reassured her. "I get that maybe I'm more of a nuisance than a help sometimes. I appreciate Max trying to protect me, but I'm in this by choice. I've [I]always[/I] been in by choice. If it takes some more time for you all to accept that completely, I understand."
"It's not that we don't trust you sheriff," Liz replied. "Really it isn't. Max just doesn't want you to end up in a situation where you find your loyalties divided." She sighed. "We haven't always been completely law- abiding after all."
"It seems to me that the law hasn't always been abiding either," Valenti reminded her mildly. "When the FBI did what they did to Max last spring, my loyalty was decided once and for all. You kids need someone working with you, not against you. I want to do what I can, but, in order for that to happen, I need some cooperation."
Liz glanced at Kyle, who shrugged. "I'll talk to Max," she promised. "He just finds it really hard to ask for help."
"Well, he made a step in that direction tonight by getting Kyle to call me," the sheriff told her. "Maybe he's learning."
"We're all learning a hell of a lot more than we ever wanted to," Michael muttered. "Not that's it done us any good so far."
"Michael, will you just give it a rest?" Maria snapped. "You're going to get your bloody answers! Why can't you wait like everyone else? I mean, aren't you even worried about them? They should have been back by now!"
Michael looked at her in surprise, then scowled. "Of course I'm worried! Why do you think I'm focusing on the fricking granolith? I'm trying to keep my mind off of it! My entire family is out there, Maria."
"My best friend is out there, Michael! And he's the only one Nasedo has no need to keep alive. Has that even crossed your mind? That Alex might [I]die[/I] because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time?"
"What are you saying, Maria?" Michael demanded. "I've told you a thousand times it's not safe being with me - with any human to be with us. Are you saying you want out? Because if you want out, then get the hell out! I wasn't the one who asked you to be here! If I remember correctly, you made that choice yourself! I've been trying to keep you out of this from the very beginning."
Liz felt her eyes widen. "Michael." She warned. She could see that his face was already reddening though, like he knew he'd gone too far.
It was clear, however, that Maria wasn't upset. She was too angry. Liz could practically see steam coming out of her best friend's ears.
"Buddha, have mercy," Kyle muttered. "What have I done to deserve having to listen to this?"
"Guys, can we just chill please?" Liz tried again. "They're going to be back soon. I know they are. We're getting all worked up here. It's not doing us any good to freak out on each other just because we're worried."
Maria turned her back on Michael, folding her arms over her chest, and looking at Liz. "I'm sorry, Lizzie, but he just drives me nuts sometimes." She looked over her shoulder at Michael and added pointedly, "I'm going to completely ignore everything he just said because I know he didn't mean a word of it, even if he wants me to think he did."
Michael pressed his lips together, as though willing himself not to say anything further. Liz knew that the only reason he was doing it was because Maria was right. They all settled back into a tense silence. Liz saw Kyle roll his eyes when Michael started to pace again.
Fortunately for them all, it was no more than five minutes later that Liz perked up, her entire mood brightening. "They're back!" She exclaimed. She could feel Max's presence, knew that he was nearby. In fact, not two minutes later, the entrance to the pod chamber slid open, bringing the sun with it. Liz didn't even notice that day had come again though. She was across the pod chamber and in Max's arms before he even had a chance to straighten completely.
While she had known deep within her that she would have felt it if something had happened to him, it was still reassuring to be able to touch him, to [I]know[/I] with certainty that he had returned to her in one piece. She hugged him tightly, breathing him in, her relief so great, she hadn't realized how truly worried she was until now.
"I'm okay," he whispered. "Everything's okay."
It was clear when she finally pulled back that this wasn't entirely true. She turned her head, slightly uncomfortable for some reason. It wasn't unexpected to discover that someone was staring at her. She met Will's blue eyes, blushed at the intensity with which his gaze was piercing her. She realized that this was the first time he had truly seen her with Max. The only other time they had all been in the same company, she had thought she was Serena and had been staying as far away from Max as physically possible.
Liz looked away from Will, biting her lip. She felt Max take her hand, squeeze reassuringly, as though he understood exactly what she was thinking. She felt a rush of love for him, returned her gaze to Will, almost defiant. He was going to have to accept that whatever he might have thought about her in the past, she was not his wife. In fact, Rowena never had been. She felt sorry for him, but it didn't mean that she was going to hide her true feelings for Max. She had spent far too much time trying to pretend that he wasn't her entire world. She would never do it again - not for anyone.
Will's expression remained stony, but he looked away first.
It was then that Liz took the time to glance around the pod chamber, which was now practically bursting at the seams, with so many new people in it.
She felt her eyes widen as she took in Congresswoman Whittaker's unexpected presence. She wasn't entirely surprised though. There had been so many crazy revelations over the past few days, nothing shocked her now.
Alex was standing nearby, Maria still clinging to him, as though not quite believing that he was really there. Liz wanted to hug him, but she could see that he was pre-occupied. She gasped slightly when she understood why. Jack and a man Liz didn't recognize were gently laying Kate's lifeless body on the ground near the pods.
"Oh my God," Liz whispered, looking up at Max for an explanation. She could see the strain around his eyes as he ran a weary hand through his dark hair.
"Serena says she'll be okay," Max said reassuringly, although Liz wondered if he was really trying to convince himself.
"Serena?" She asked, glancing over at Tess, who was standing near Kyle, the man Liz didn't recognize now hovering behind her. Tess met her eyes, shook her blonde head once, firmly, then looked at Whittaker.
The congresswoman smiled at Liz. "I'm Serena, Liz."
This was apparently news to Will and Jack as well, because they both turned their heads to stare at her. She nodded. "It's true, boys. I am Serena of Valonia."
"Who the hell is Serena of Valonia?" Will demanded, his eyes narrowed. "Your name is Venora."
"It is not," she told him quietly. "Venora is an identity Nicholas and I came up with until you were ready to hear the truth."
"Are you even Sardican?" Jack asked, his tone less confrontational than Will's.
"No," Whittaker replied. "I am Valonian." She lowered her gaze for a moment, then continued quickly, "I am Rowena's clone."
Liz grimaced. She watched Will's entire body go rigid with shock. She had a feeling that this was not going to go well at all. The dark-haired boy had seemed on the verge of completely losing it when she had met his eyes before. Now he started shaking slightly, as though barely controlling himself. Liz didn't blame him. His sister was apparently dead; she, Liz had no intention of being with him; and, now, he was being told that his wife had been cloned. "Um.You know what? I think I need to talk to Will - alone. Is it safe to go outside?"
Liz felt Max tense through where they were still joined by their hands. "It's okay," she said to him softly, looking up and meeting his eyes.
He frowned slightly, but nodded, "It's safe." He looked at Whittaker. "Let Liz tell him the truth. You and I need to get the granolith ready."
"Oh, that reminds me," Liz said. She had already moved away from Max, had taken Will by the hand and was leading him towards the pod chamber entrance. He slipped away from her in her distraction, preceding her out. "We found out how to make the granolith work. Well, Maria did," she amended. Liz glanced at Michael, smiled slightly. "Michael can show you." And, then, she realized even that wasn't necessary. "Or I guess Serena can." She looked over at Whittaker, who was still watching Will, a worried expression on her face. She seemed to become aware of Liz's regard, however, and nodded.
Meeting Max's gaze once more, Liz smiled at him reassuringly. He was still frowning, but he managed to smile back.
Moments later she was breathing the fresh air of a bright New Mexico morning. She had been in the pod chamber for close to half a day. It was a relief to get out of there. Not that she was particularly excited to have this conversation. But she was looking for small blessings.
Having exited the pod chamber before her, when Liz emerged, Will was standing on the edge of the cliff, staring off into the distance. Now he turned back, his expression inscrutable again.
"So, what are you supposed to be explaining to me?" Will asked. He was no longer confrontational, or even upset. He just sounded exhausted. "My sister is dead. My wife is in love with my enemy. I think I pretty much get it."
"You don't get it," Liz told him firmly. She wasn't going to beat around the bush with him. He needed to know the truth and he needed it now, before this entire affair became even more entangled. "I'm not your wife, Will. I was [I]never[/I] your wife. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but it's the truth. Rowena and Khivar were never married."
He stared at her dully. "Really? Oh well, then, everything's fine. I'll just turn off all these memories and everything will be great." His tone was sarcastic, but Liz could tell that he didn't really mean it - that he didn't really [I]care[/I] anymore.
"You don't understand," Liz said, softening slightly. "Your memories are real. Khivar [I]thought[/I] he was married to Rowena, but he was really married to her clone. To Serena. He was deceived. " She paused briefly, then decided that he had to know everything. "Tess is Serena."
"What?" Will demanded. That had gotten a reaction. In fact, he was beginning to look at her like she might be insane.
"It's true." She stepped forward, reached out and took his hand, no longer able to bear how solitary he seemed. "The marriage scarf that you gave me.It made her remember."
"That makes no sense," he insisted. "She's Ava. Why would they send two Rowenas? Zan was married to Ava."
"Don't you understand?" Liz asked. "There were always two of them. Rowena cloned herself and sent her clone to be your wife."
"Why? Why would she do that?" Will demanded. "She loved me."
Liz lowered her gaze, searching for a way to make him understand. "She did love Khivar, Will. She wanted him to be happy, but she knew that she could never make him happy. Because she didn't love him in the same way he loved her. She couldn't."
There was a long moment of silence. She raised her eyes to meet his. He was staring at her, comprehension dawning on her face. "They were right," he finally muttered, "I can't believe it, but they actually guessed right. I should have known. When has she [I]ever[/I] been wrong?"
"Who?" Liz asked, concerned by the way his face was freezing over.
"Kate and Alex," Will replied. "They guessed that this was what happened. That Rowena was in love with Zan. I couldn't believe it because I [I]remember[/I] the way she was with me." He shook his head. "But it wasn't even her. No wonder."
"I'm sorry."
He focused on her, frowned. "Why are [I]you[/I] sorry? It's not your fault, Liz. None of this has ever been your fault."
"But, in a way, it is my fault," Liz argued. "I'm [I]her[/I]."
"No," Will insisted. "You're not. I'm only beginning to realize how much we [I]aren't[/I] them." He pulled his hand from hers, moved away, stared out across the desert again.
Liz watched him silently for a few moments. She could see the tension in the line of his back, wondered what he was thinking. Finally, she couldn't wait any longer. After all, they only had a limited amount of time. Soon they were going to have to return to the pod chamber - return to the granolith - and they would know the truth once and for all.
"Will?" She asked tentatively.
He didn't turn to look at her, but he started to speak quietly - so quietly, Liz had to step forward in order to hear him. "I knew. Somehow I've known all along. But I ignored what I knew to be true from the moment I understood that you were in love with him. I was sure that he had tricked you, or was using you. And, so, I played dirty."
Liz felt her heart go out to him. "Will, you didn't. You've only ever been kind to me. I knew from the moment I met you that you would never hurt me, that I could trust you."
He turned, his eyes fierce. "You don't understand. You [I]can't[/I] trust me. I'm an awful person. You have no idea the stuff I've done, Liz."
"It can't be [I]that[/I] bad," Liz insisted. She couldn't have been so wrong about him, could she? She had felt attached to him from the moment she met him and her gift was supposed to be the ability to truly [I]see[/I] people. It was why she had never allowed her friends' doubts about him to sway her belief that he would never hurt her. And, yet, now here he was admitting that he had. She was already beginning to feel a little scared. What [I]had[/I] he done?
"Liz, I gave you that scarf knowing full well what it could do to you," Will told her.
Liz felt her eyes widen. "What?" She gasped.
"I thought you were Rowena, and I knew that it might bring her out, that you might get lost in the process. Nicholas told me that when he gave it to me. I wanted you so badly, I was willing to do anything to make you remember me. The fact that it didn't doesn't make it any better. "
She took a step backwards, disbelieving. "Oh my God. Will!"
"I'm sorry," he said, looking away again. "I know you won't believe it, but I am sorry. I'm just glad you weren't hurt."
"Will, it [I]did[/I] work," Liz told him. "I can't believe you did that to me!"
He stared at her. "It worked? I don't understand."
"All of yesterday, I was someone else. The only one who knew it was Max. He knows me so well, he could tell almost immediately. What happened only confirmed what I'm telling you now. I wasn't Rowena when it happened. I was [I]Serena.[/I] For a while, I was your wife, but it wasn't [I]me.[/I]"
She watched him carefully as he absorbed this. He looked momentarily shocked, and then just confused. Finally, he sighed. "I'm just so sorry, Liz. You have no idea how sorry I am," he finished bitterly. He met her eyes. "Because that wasn't all I did. When that didn't work, I did something even worse."
Liz closed her eyes for a moment. Her emotions were in turmoil. She could not grasp the depth of the betrayal that Will had perpetrated on her trust by giving her that scarf. And there was still more. How could it be any worse?
"I know that you're going to hate me after I finish telling you everything, but you need to know," Will said firmly. "I can't hide it any longer. It will all come out in the granolith anyway and, if not then, when we bring Kate back, she'll tell you."
"Kate is in on this?" Liz demanded.
"No," Will insisted. "But right before.Before what happened to her, I think she figured it out." His voice cracked and he looked down again. Liz was amazed that she could still feel sorry for him. He really was something of a monster, and, yet, she did believe that he had done whatever it was he had done out of some twisted sense of love for her. "I think Alex might eventually figure it out too," he added, his voice strengthening a bit as he got a hold of himself. "I made a mistake in front of him. He'll likely remember when Kate is brought back. He's too focused on her right now."
"Tell me," Liz prompted firmly, her heart now filled with dread. [I]How could I have been so wrong? How could I have been so wrong?[/I] It was like a death tattoo beating in her head. She had been so sure of him, so trusting. [I]How could I have been so wrong?[/I]
"When Nasedo first took us.Me, Alex and Kate I mean.He was disguised as Tess. He knocked Kate and Alex out, but me.Me, he kept conscious," Will said, sounding far away, as he remembered. He looked at her briefly. "Please understand that I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me, and I'm not trying to excuse what I did, but he tortured me. He mindraped me, showing me things that nearly killed me."
Liz felt tears fill her eyes. She remembered how Isabel had suffered in the message Nasedo had played for them. She still had no idea what the shapeshifter had done to Max's sister then, but she imagined it must have been terrible. That Will had experienced the same thing.She could believe that he might have agreed to do something awful to make it stop.
"What did he show you?" She asked.
"I think you can guess," Will told her. He met her gaze meaningfully. "With the way I feel about you, you can imagine what the worst possible thing for me to see would be."
Liz felt her heart stop, and then she felt slightly nauseous. "Oh my God. Did he show me with.?" She trailed off, unable to imagine that her privacy had been so violated, even if what Nasedo had shown Will had likely not been anything that she and Max had ever even done anyway.
"With Max," Will acknowledged. "But not only that. He showed me things from before - from our past lives I mean. Rowena with Zan. Things that I know now were probably true, but at the time I only imagined he was making me think could be true. Either way, I couldn't bear it. He got what he wanted from me."
"What did he want?" Liz asked, although she was pretty sure she had already figured it out.
"He wanted me to work with him to bring down Zan. Since it was the only thing I wanted anyway, I agreed," Will continued grimly. "I pretended to be his captive, but I was always free. The entire time I was in that compound, I could have escaped at any time."
Liz couldn't say anything. She just stared at him in horror.
"I never thought it would go so wrong. I [I]knew[/I] that he wanted us all alive." He paused, shook his head sharply. "But it's still no excuse," he added firmly. "What I'm telling you is that I could have left. That no one had to risk their lives coming for me, or Jack, or Isabel. That my gifts were fully accessible the entire time I was there. And now it's obvious that lives [I]were[/I] in danger. I let him take Alex, even when I was pretty sure that he was going to kill him. I didn't even try to intervene. I was so focused on saving you from Zan, on making you [I]remember[/I] that we belonged together, I was willing to do anything. I wanted Zan to come - because I knew he would - that he would come for Isabel and Alex - and I wanted him dead. I wanted the spell he was weaving over you broken and I was willing to do anything to get my way."
Will looked down, his voice softening as he came to the crux of the matter. "But that's not even the worst part. Liz, when my sister was shot down in cold blood, the first thought that crossed my mind wasn't that she was going to die and that I loved her and that I was going to miss her. No, my obsession was still so complete, that wasn't the first thing that I felt." His voice cracked again and Liz could tell that he was really crying now. She didn't know what to do. She was angry and, yet, his regret was so obvious. He was punishing himself far better than she ever could. And when he continued, she understood why. "My first sense was one of relief. Because I knew that she was the only one who knew for sure that I had betrayed you all - that I had betrayed everything I was created to be. And, if she was gone, you'd never know."
"Oh, Will." Liz knew there was nothing else to say. She couldn't even begin to imagine how he was going to live with himself after this. Because she knew him well enough to know that he would feel the guilt of this for the rest of his life.
"Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" He said, beginning to sound a little wild, totally unlike himself. "Because I think I've known the truth all along. From the moment I understood what was between you and Max, I've known it. And because I refused to accept it, I'm going to have to live with the fact that I wanted my sister dead more than I wanted him to win."
Will raised his haunted gaze to meet hers once more. "I'm going to have to live with the fact that I've allowed myself to become exactly the bastard I always took him for. The complete bastard I now know he never was."