Ghosts and goblins scared away the disclaimer saying that I own none of the characters in this story. Well, I thought a topical tale would be suitable for this spookiest of days, and this led me to one conclusion: wouldn't it be fun to see...
A Misfit Halloween
"TODD! STOP SLIMING THE TRICK-OR-TREATERS!"
"But it's so much fun!"
Althea Delgado rolled her eyes and sighed. Todd Tolensky, her boyfriend, was looking at her with large, innocent eyes.
The Misfit house, for whatever twisted reason, had somehow become a stop on the quest for candy. Unfortunately, between Fred Dukes and Xi, the Joes had to keep stocking up every half hour or so. They'd long since cleared out the surrounding areas, and were now teleporting discreetly to shops all over the country.
Todd, Pietro, and Lance had decided to trick the treat-seekers. So, Pietro would run around switching candy bags, Lance would form monsters out of the ground and send them lurching at the kids, and anyone who made it as far as the door was hit with a face full of slime before they could ring the bell. All things considered, it was amazing how much candy they were giving out.
Well, maybe not so amazing. This was Halloween, after all. Things that any other night of the year would have caused mass panic was greeted with giggles and groans, but no one was accusing mutants of any foul play. They were accusing spirits and ghouls, instead.
And speaking of spirits...
"AND DAD, STOP TRYING TO GET ALL THE MOMS DRUNK! DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!"
Shipwreck Delgado waved his hand as if to brush aside her accusation. "Please," he sniffed. "I don't even have any alcohol here."
"Yeah, right," glared Althea. "If that's true, then what are you hiding behind your back?"
"What, this?" Shipwreck pulled the half-filled bottle from behind it, and looked at it as though he had no idea where it had come from. "I don't know where this came from. I've never seen it in my life!"
"Awk! A likely story!" screeched Polly, his pet parrot.
"Shut up, bird," Shipwreck glared at it. "Unless you'd like to be parrot flambé!"
"Death threat!" yelled Polly. "Clap him in irons! Awk!"
"I'll throw you in an iron," threatened Shipwreck. "A waffle iron!"
"Bring it on, ya souse!" Polly sneered.
"DIE, BIRD!" yelled Shipwreck, as he chased Polly around the front yard. A couple of kids stood in front of the house, mouths hanging open in amazement, not even noticing that their candy bags were being filled with Todd's slime.
Althea groaned as she wandered back into the house. Cover Girl, Low Light, Spirit, and Roadblock had taken refuge in the kitchen with the babies. As Roadblock had explained it, "We've decided to spend the night some someone mature. That way, our sanity we can assure!"
Althea joined them just as Wanda entered the room, holding a giant bag overfilled with candy. "I hit the jackpot tonight," she grinned.
"What did you do?" asked Cover Girl. "Hex people into giving you candy?"
"Pretty much, yeah," shrugged Wanda. "Hey, Althea, wanna go tricking with me?"
"Anyone but this group, I would ask if you didn't mean trick-or-treating," grinned Althea. "Sounds like fun."
Soon the two girls were on their way. Wanda was dressed, of course, in a deep red witch's outfit, and Althea was dressed like a PG-13 mermaid, with a couple of conch shells hung together with dried seaweed composing her top, and a shimmering skirt tailored to look like a tail. Todd and Xi had decided to join them. Todd was dressed like a toad king in green, complete with a gold-colored crown. Xi, for obvious reasons, didn't need a costume.
At the first house they came to, an elderly couple was handing out chocolate bars. "Trick-or-treat!" the four shouted out gleefully.
"Oh, my," said the woman. "What wonderful costumes. Especially yours," she indicated Xi. "It looks so realistic."
"Thank you," Xi said politely. "I worked hard on it."
It was the same everywhere they went. People oohed and awed over Xi's "costume". Finally, the four decided it was time for fun. They went back to the house to drop off their candy and pick up the others.
Scott Summers sighed as he looked around him. The X-Men were scattered glumly around the living room, watching cartoons on TV. The adults were holed up in Professor Xavier's study, where he strongly suspected that ghosts weren't the only spirits present.
"Bob for apples?" he asked. "Anything?"
"Don't wanna," grumbled Rogue.
"This sucks," moaned Jamie Madrox.
"Yeah," agreed Kitty Pryde. "This is, like, the worst Halloween ever!"
"Well, it's not exactly as though we can go around trick-or-treating," said Amara Aquilla. "Last time we tried that, everyone called the cops on us."
"That was one house," corrected Tabitha. "And to be fair, you did set their lawn on fire."
"Yeah, but you were the one who blew up their car!" glared Amara.
"I did not blow up it!" defended Tabitha. "Sure, it was a little dented, but you could hardly notice that!"
"Especially since Kurt painted it bright pink," grinned Peter Rasputin.
"Sure, blame the fuzzy blue guy with pink paint all over his fur," said Kurt. "I still maintain that Quicksilver did it and blamed me!"
The Misfits chose that moment to materialize in the room. "Speak of the devil," groaned Rogue.
"Now, sis, is that any way to speak of your dear, beloved brother?" grinned Pietro, zipping around behind her and casually leaning an arm over her shoulder.
"If you don't get off me right now," growled Rogue, "I'm gonna toss you through the wall, smash you into the driveway, and then start hurtin' you!"
"Now that's not very nice," Fred scolded her with a grin. He rubbed his hands together and looked around. "So, you guys got any candy?"
"No, Blob," moaned Jean Grey. "We don't have any candy. Why would we, when the only people who are going to show up here tonight are you guys?"
"Good point," grinned Todd. "And since you won't be busy anyway, how about joining us in playing a few tricks on certain people?"
Kurt grinned. "I'm in." The others agreed.
Some time later...
"All right!" screamed Senator Edward Kelly. "Who TP'd my house? And painted it orange? Along with my lawn, my car, and my fence? And who glued my doors shut? And my windows? And covered the chimney with barbed wire? And painted 'Kelly is a douche' on my living room wall? I bet it was those mutants! Mutants! I'll get you! I'll get you all! Just as soon as I get unglued from this toilet seat!"
"Hey!" yelled Duncan Matthews. "Who filled my shoes with whipped cream? And painted my entire room bright pink? Why am I duct taped to this chair? Why is there a sign on my forehead?" A couple of policemen broke down his door. "What do you think you're doing?" "We had reports of drugs being dealt from here," said one cop. "And guess what?" He held up a bag filled with white powder. "I've never seen that before!" gasped Duncan. "I swear! It was those mutants, I tell you! I bet it was Jean Grey! It would be just like her! Hey! Put me down! Where are you taking me? I want a lawyer!" One of the cops snickered. "Love the sign," he grinned. "What's it say?" screamed Duncan. "What's it say?"
Cobra Commander moaned. "Oh, my head," he groaned. "What hit me? Where am I? Why am I upside down? Why am I dressed like a Powerpuff Girl? Why do I even know what a Powerpuff Girl is? And who sprayed me with perfume? Why are my hands and feet so sparkly? And, most important, WHY THE HELL AM I IN A LAS VEGAS CASINO?"
Back at the Institute...
"Well, that was fun," grinned Lance.
"That was mean, what you did to Duncan," said Kurt.
"He deserved it," Jean smiled evilly.
"I wonder how long it will be before the cops figure out that bag is filled with powdered sugar," said Forge thoughtfully.
"I wonder if they'll care," grinned Scott.
"I always knew you two had some redeeming qualities," smiled Althea.
"Well, I think we should be on our way," said Pietro, stretching his arms.
"What?" said Scott. "Without trashing the place?"
"Without starting any fights?" asked Jean.
"Without arguments, explosions, or anything?" asked Kurt.
"Think of it as our trick on you," grinned Althea. "Bye. For now."
The Misfits dissolved.
"Well," said Jean. "That was unexpected."
"Hey!" yelled Bobby Drake from upstairs. "The bathroom is filled with slime!"
"There was a whipped cream bomb in my room!" yelled Rogue.
"Get them off! Get them off!" yelled Sam, as he was chased by several mechanical spiders.
"Those aren't mine!" yelled Forge.
"All our food is gone!" yelled Remy Lebeau from the kitchen.
"That, however," sighed Scott, as mayhem erupted through the entire house, "was expected."
"I'll get them," snarled Jean. "Oh, yes. I'll get them!"
The End