Title: Verb, Noun
Rating: K+
Pairing: Gen. Lorne POV.
Spoilers: Spoilers through Duet.
Summary: Not everyone is as amused with Prime, Not Prime as Rodney.
A/N: For the gatehaven minor character challenge. Thanks to daisycm83 for doing beta duty.

Five hours and forty-two minutes into the puddle jumper trip from hell, Major Lorne was regretting the decision to go on this mission. From a quick glance at Lieutenant Cadman, he could tell she felt the same way. It had sounded so simple yesterday, relaxing even.

Lorne had been in a meeting with Dr. Weir and Lieutenant Cadman discussing base security when Dr. McKay and Dr. Zelenka had burst into her office without so much as a pardon me. Dr. McKay had started babbling about a database and how they found a report about another weapons platform/drone arsenal in orbit of a planet where the Ancients had previously had an outpost. According to the report there at one time been at least 3000 drones stored there. Colonel Sheppard was called into the meeting and the consensus was this was something that was worth exploring.

Seeing as the Daedelus wasn't due back for another three weeks, it had been decided a puddle jumper would be sent out to scout the platform and take inventory. If there really were that many drones, then the Daedelus could be sent back to retrieve them. The fifteen hours from Stargate to platform really hadn't seemed that long in the briefing room.

Dr. Weir decided to send Team 1, plus Dr. Zelenka in case the platform was damaged. She asked Lorne and Cadman to accompany them as back up in case there was trouble. Lorne hadn't been off world in over a week and it had sounded like a good idea at the time so he agreed to go.

That was how he ended up almost six hours into a fifteen hour puddle jumper ride listening to Col. Sheppard, Dr. Zelenka, and Dr. McKay try to stump each other in the third hour of a rousing game of Prime, Not Prime. Those three had claimed front of the jumper, the Colonel was letting McKay practice his flying, and Zelenka was in one of the jump seats.

Lorne was sitting in the rear compartment on one of the benches across from Cadman. Both had brought books and work to do but it was hard to concentrate over the shouting and taunting that was going on up front. Teyla and Ronon were also sitting in the rear compartment, but they were entering hour five of their I can out glare you and pretend I don't actually want to jump you staring contest. They were so engrossed in each other they probably didn't even hear the ruckus coming from the front.

Lorne didn't know how much more he could take. He was still a bit shocked that the Colonel was getting every number right, much to McKay's dismay. He knew Sheppard was a smart man and he had heard rumors that he was a math whiz, but it was hard to reconcile the man he saw on a daily basis with the man currently beating both McKay and Zelenka in a math game.

Lorne was lost in contemplation of Sheppard's math abilities when he felt a peanut bounce off her cheek. He looked up and saw Cadman motioning to him over to her side of the jumper.

"I have an idea. Come here. Not that they could hear us anyway, but still . . . come here." Cadman patted the seat next to her. Lorne got up and moved to her side of the jumper.

Laura leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I think we should start playing an exciting game of 'Verb, Noun'"

Lorne gave Laura a look that said I know you spent time trapped in McKay's head but I thought they said you were back to normal? "Verb, Noun?"

"Yes, Verb, Noun. We take turns saying words and the other has to guess if it's a verb or a noun. Quite simple, actually." Laura gave him a smile that got even bigger when she realized he was catching on to her plan.

"Verb, Noun eh? I could have some fun with that. You start." Lorne winked at Laura as he shifted back to his side of the jumper.

Laura appeared to be thinking for a second then she loudly said "Jump."

"A nice easy one to start I see. Verb. Next word: Couch." Lorne replied, raising his voice a little as he spoke.

Laura snorted and rolled her eyes. "Please, are you trying to lose this game? Noun. Stun."

Lorne pretended to look confused. "Stun? Could you use that in a sentence please?"

"You need a sentence to figure out that Stun is a Verb? What do you think this is the National Spelling Bee or something? pffff. I guess I'll have to go easier on you. Martial."

The game went on with Lorne and Laura each getting a little louder and more ridiculous with each word. They had been playing approximately fifteen minutes when they finally got the front trio's full attention. Or, at least, they had stopped actively playing Prime, Not Prime and were sitting rather quietly in the front.

"Rapidly." Lorne smiled hoping this was the one that would put McKay over the edge, seeing as it was neither a verb nor a noun in any context.

"Was that supposed to be a hard one? Verb!" Laura couldn't stop from smiling when she saw McKay get up from his chair and storm towards the back of the jumper.

"Verb? Verb? Are you kidding me? You've disappointed me Cadman, I really thought you weren't the stereotypical military dunce. Didn't you have to go to school to become an officer? That just says something about the state of American schools when college graduates think an ADVERB is a VERB. And Major Lorne, I would hide that smile if I were you, because last time I checked 'pretty' is most commonly used as an ADJECTIVE not a noun. What the hell kind of game is this anyway? Almost every word you two have used could be a verb or a noun or an adverb given different contexts. Just saying a word out of context makes it almost impossible to determine its classification . . ."

McKay continued ranting for a few minutes about the poor structure of their game before Laura and Lorne totally lost it. McKay was so into his tirade he didn't notice he lost his audience until Lorne fell off the bench he was laughing so hard.

"What? Why are you laughing? Oh My God, YOU PLANNED THIS! You started this little game in order to rile me didn't you? What, do you have nothing better to do?" McKay turned around and huffed the short distance back to the front of jumper. He stopped short when he saw Sheppard and Zelenka were both doubled over laughing. He turned again to the rear and glared at Ronon and Teyla because even they couldn't keep the smirks off their faces.

"Oh I see, it's all a joke, let's poke the scientist and see how he reacts. Fine, be that way, you know what? I'm not sharing the chocolate or the coffee I brought with ANY of you.

Rodney sat back down in the pilot's seat and took the controls from Sheppard, who let him -- for now.

Lorne and Cadman stopped laughing and went back to their reading. While McKay might be a little annoyed with them for now, and withholding snack food they hadn't expected him to share anyway, they had succeed in their plan. The jumper was blissfully silent and given the fumes radiating from McKay's ears, it was likely to stay that way for at least a few hours.