Hello: I saw Ep. III again yesterday so I'm high on Star Wars testosterone. So here's the third instalment in my saga. I'm going to call Obi-Wan Obi from now on probably because I'm too lasy to type Obi-Wan all the time. I'm beginning to get into my good stories now. The best should be coming alone next time. But it isn't here yet so read the 3rd chapter. I made up Nebroir by the way. I'm not getting at Marilyn Manson in this song because I happen to like 'The Fight Song' but I thought it was appropriate as a song Obi would hate. Also, it was a very hard part of the story for me to write. So don't hurt it. I'm so sick of this chapter so if there are mistakes in it screw it! Other than that, read and enjoy!

Disclaimer: As ever, all character, names, etc. belong to George Lucus. Any similarities between this story and real life/other stories are merely coincidental.

"And that is why I have decided to send you and your Padawan to Nebroir for a week," Mace Windu said, finally ending some dull explanation for sending Obi-Wan and Anakin on some 'mission'. Obi-Wan mentally awoke himself.

"I understand Master," Obi-Wan replied. "Anakin and I shall go to Nebroir for a week and do what we can to calm the situation there."

"Rely on your communication skills, we will," Master Yoda said in his usual 'cryptic' speech.

"I understand Master. May the Force be with you," Obi-Wan said as he bowed. Then, with a swish of his cloak, he left the council room.

"Why send Obi-Wan on dull mission are we?" Yoda asked Mace when Obi-Wan was safely out of the room.

Mace smiled happily behind his hands, "Well, his apprentice always seems so keen on off-planet missions so I thought we would send him on as many missions as we could. To make him happy. That Obi-Wan has to go with Anakin is his fault, and not mine."

Yoda nodded. Not understanding at all.

"Have you packed your things?" Obi-Wan asked Anakin as he lent against the boy's doorframe.

Anakin, who obviously hadn't been listening to anything Mace had been saying, nodded and asked Obi-Wan happily, "So why are we going on this mission again?" His eyes brightened up. "Is it dangerous?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Yes Anakin. That's it. We're going to a dangerous planet on a dangerous mission. Why else?"

'Why else would they punish me?' Obi-Wan asked himself. 'Oh Force. Why me? First a quacky mentor, second an idiot apprentice and now a Jedi Council that hates me. It's not fair.'

"Well let's us get going then!" Anakin said, bringing Obi-Wan out of his 'I hate life' moment, as he bounded out of the door.

Obi-Wan punched the air. Except without any enthusiasm. "Oh yay. I so can't wait."

Nebroir was dull. And drab. And dreary. And -, Force, the alliterations could go on forever. By the time Obi-Wan and Anakin had reached Nebroir it was nighttime. But it wasn't an amazing night because there were no darned stars in the sky. Or sun. Or moon. Or other distant planets. Or anything. It was just black sky.

"Jedi Master Obi-Wan. We're exceptionally pleased to have you here at this difficult time," a native of Nebroir said to Obi-Wan. He was obviously dressed in what the Nebroirians considered their 'best' clothing but, even to Obi-Wan's standards, looked like a man wrapped in a loincloth sack.

Obi-Wan bowed. "Thank you. I can understand why you may need a Jedi here to negotiate the soil transfer between yourselves and the natives," he said, trying desperately to hide the sarcasm from his voice.

The loincloth man nodded, "Yes, I'm glad you see the desperate situation we're in. We wouldn't want a war to come out of this would we?"

Obi-Wan shook his head but he was sure Anakin's ears had pricked up at the word 'war'. Obi-Wan mentally kicked him.

"Now, if you would allow me to show you to your room. We're very proud of it actually. Done it up to your standards we have."

Anakin, who had been trailing behind his Master and the bagman, suddenly looked up. 'Room'? Surely he has meant rooms. Right?

"Force almighty!" Anakin breathed as he looked around the room. Compared to the monotonous rooms Anakin had seen on the planet so far their room was a palace. Heck, even compared to his and Obi-Wan's apartment at the Jedi Temple this room was a palace. It even had a mini water feature in the middle!

"You like?" The bagman, who was actually called Senoi, asked Anakin and Obi-Wan. Anakin couldn't nod back fast enough.

"Oh good. We spent a long time on this room so that when we actually got visitors we could make them happy. Look, we even put complimentary human-music in the room for you," he said as he walked over to a lot of buttons on the wall. He pressed a big green one that looked like it had an arrow on it and suddenly the room was filled with a very odd song. Senoi grinned manically.

Nothing suffocates you more than
The passing of everyday human events
Isolation is the oxygen mask you make
Your children breath into survive

And on it went. Obi-Wan felt ill. What a terrible song! How could this awful man with this odd, metallically voice actually be singing about fighting and guns and such! It was awful. He felt nauseous. He was trying exceptionally hard to hide this fact from Anakin and Senoi but every passing second of the song made him feel angrier and angrier, which he assumed was the intention. And then, he saw stars. Funny bright colours whizzed passed his eyes and he felt like a child in a candy store.

'Oooh! Candy! Mommy, can I have candy? I wanna eaaaaat,'

The song stopped.

Obi-Wan shook his head. 'What in Sith was that?'

Anakin stopped moving his head up and down and smiled at his Master.

"Wow! Let's do that again!

"NO!" Obi-Wan shouted as he reached out to grab Anakin. Then he realised he had just shouted the word out and straightened his tunic instead.

"No," he said more calmly.

"Aw," Anakin said as he pottered over the bedroom.

"I suppose I should leave you two now that…" Senoi started.

"Master!" Anakin shouted as he came running out of the bedroom.

"Yes Anakin?"

"Master! There's only one bed! ONE DOUBLE BED!"

"Oh. Calm down now Anakin. I'm sure we can work something out."

Senoi blinked. "Is a double bed not satisfactory? We were told couples slept together in the same bed."

Anakin and Obi-Wan blinked simultaneously.

"C…couple?" Anakin managed to splutter out.

"You two aren't a couple? I mean, there's two and you and all so that does make you a couple right?"

"Well, yes, there are two of us, but…" Obi-Wan began.

"Oh! OH! I see. You two are getting a divorce. Oh, I understand. Oh I'm terribly sorry."

Obi-Wan sighed. "No. You don't see anything. Couples, or people who sleep in the same bed, are people who are romantically connected. Anakin and I are just," and here he stopped as he tried to think of a word that wouldn't confuse Senoi more, "A team. That's all. We work together. I certainly don't love him. Not at all."

Anakin looked up at his master. His small eyes covered by his hair.

"Besides," Obi-Wan added, "Jedi don't fall in love."

Senoi still didn't understand, Obi-Wan could feel it, but he nodded anyway.

"Uh, yes, well, I think it's time I was leaving. Bye now!" He said as he dashed out of the room.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Well wasn't that interesting. Now, I think it's time we went to bed. Come along Anakin."

"Yes Master," Anakin replied in a dull tone as he followed his master into the bedroom.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure how he had done it but somehow he had managed to get Anakin into the double bed with little complaint. And now both of them were staring at the ceiling in complete silence. Obi-Wan was lying squarely in the middle of his designated bed space while Anakin was lying as far away from his master as he could. Obi-Wan chuckled to himself. He was sure that if he moved to his left a little his apprentice would roll himself off the bed. He thought about it but decided against it. Something was wrong with Anakin. He could feel it. Instead, Obi-Wan tried to look into Anakin's mind using the Force, but all he got was 'I'm not a slave to a gun that doesn't exist'. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. Anakin was mentally playing that awful song? But why? It was dreadful! Especially the 'fight!' bit. Jedi weren't supposed to listen to songs that condoned fighting. It just wasn't natural. Obi-Wan shook his head. Why couldn't Anakin listen to more soothing songs?

'Something that would stimulate his brain more like,' Obi-Wan thought. 'He certainly needs it if he wants to catch up with me in the academic stakes.'

Obi-Wan sighed again.

"Good night Anakin."

"Yep," Anakin replied. Then he turned out the lights and the pair were plunged into darkness.

Obi-Wan awoke to a sharp pain in his back.

'What?' Obi-Wan thought. Something stabbed into his back again. 'What in Sith is that?'

Obi-Wan moved to his left a little and the sharp pain stopped. He lifted the covers up slightly and saw that this pointy thing was actually Anakin's toe. He tutted and moved down to get back to sleep. But then a fist landed on his lip.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouted aloud but there was no reply as Anakin was obviously a deep sleeper.

Then he was elbowed in the shoulder. Obi-Wan pushed his apprentice to the left and decided he would try and go back to sleep. But then he was bombarded with fists, toes, nails and any other part of Anakin that would harm him.

"For Sith's sake!" Obi-Wan swore as he felt tears of frustration well up in his eyes. He would have to harm Anakin somehow. So he punched his apprentice's back and pushed him even further to the left.

'There! That should do it.' Obi-Wan thought as he slid under the covers again

And then he was stabbed by Anakin's toe again. The tears flowed from Obi-Wan's eyes.

'That's it!' Obi-Wan thought as he wiped his eyes with his hands, and then took Anakin by the shoulders. He shook his apprentice as strongly as he could until Anakin finally opened his eyes in a dazed shock.

"Eh? Was that, was that, an earthquake?" He asked only half-awake. Obi-Wan took his hands off Anakin's shoulder. Anakin then realised his shoulder was wet. His eyes widened then he jumped out of the bed faster than Obi-Wan thought was physically possible. He looked like he was about to throw up.

"Where's the shower? Oh Force where's the shower?" he said as dashed out of the room.

Obi-Wan didn't understand. It was only his tears. It wasn't like he had –

'Oh Force!' Obi-Wan thought as he jumped out of the bed and ran after Anakin.

"No you idiot! It's only tears! Not pee! It's just my fricking tears! Anakin! ANAKIN!"