Chapter 4: Contemplation of Life
Trance headed upstairs about two hours after his dinner. It was around 10:00, a time when Trance usually found himself in front of the television watching his favorite comedy. Tonight was not going to be one of them. According to his mom, he had to get to bed early to prepare for his ceremony the following day, which happened to be at 6:00 in the evening. He felt that this notion about early bedtimes was ridiculous. After all, he could go to bed at 4 in the morning, sleep until 2:00 in the afternoon and still have plenty of time to get ready. Trance was not about to argue, he had his own reasons for getting to bed.
Trance had many things to think about. For one thing, he was incredibly confused about the ways in which he lived his life, and he had questions about why society functioned the way it did. He planned to spend the next hour or so contemplating these issues in his head. Trance did not attempt to talk to his parents often enough about this subject. His mother lacked the desire to contemplate life at all. Other times, he either had too much schoolwork to do, which was what consumed most of the quality time with his father in the first place, or his father was away on missions and business trips, or he simply forgot at the convenient times. Because of this, he spent time thinking about these issues when he was alone or in bed trying to get to sleep.
If there was one thing that Trance hated more than anything, it was lack of understanding. He felt like he always had to understand what was going on around him. In order to understand the bigger things around him, he often had to broaden the things in which he understood. One of the broadest things he could ponder was life itself. By understanding life, he could understand purpose, and he could understand reason to live. Most people never achieve a complete understanding of life, but that never stopped Trance from trying.
Tonight, he wanted to focus on his purpose as a ranger. The most important thing going on in his life was the ranger position he was about to receive. Many questions circled around his head. To these questions he formulated answers. This time around, the process was more intense than normal. Getting in bed, Trance realized this would be a more difficult thing to contemplate. Thinking to himself became more and more difficult as he progressed through his life:
"Why in the world am I becoming a ranger in the first place?"
"I know that I have been working for this my whole life. I have had the reason to do this embedded in my mind ever since I started this journey in life."
"I want to help daddy? What kind of reason is that? There's got to be something more."
"You know what it is."
"But, I don't know if it's the right thing to do! How do I know if what I am doing is right?"
"There are a lot of missing variables."
"I need answers! I need to know what I am getting myself into…"
"I want to help out my country. I want to help set things right in the world. I want to bring change."
"But I know nothing about what I am trying to change."
"School hasn't taught me anything about what goes on outside this country. It's like a form of—"
"Not propaganda, just a light concealment of the facts. They want me to believe that I have the absolute answer to the world's troubles. By bringing an end to the radical fanaticism that is contained within each and every pokémon trainer, I would be doing the world justice. I would be preserving what was originally created on our planet and what truly deserves to exist on earth."
"… but there is another problem. What I would be committing myself to would just cause more problems in this world. I would be escalating the war. I would be another catalyst in the reaction. I don't know if I want that."
"That is correct, but every solution has its flaws. Yes, there is going to be war, but how else is Gallaway going to achieve its goal? Through persuasion? The rest of the world outnumbers us 10 to 1 at the very best, and the rest of the world consists entirely of pokémon fanatics. They will laugh at us if we try to convince them that they're wrong just because we think so. War is the only solution."
"But we're marching into countries that have no way to defend themselves. And, we are attempting to take them over."
"They have pokémon"
"But that's not the point. If we go and take over every country in the world and force them to change their lives completely… we'd be no better than any imperialist government from the past. Hell, we'd be no better than Hitler's army trying to change the world so that they will accept and live by how we choose. We'd be eradicating what we blame to be society's weakness, just as Hitler did to the Jews. I don't know, it just sounds too evil to me."
"But we'd be doing what's best for the world. I don't think it's the same thing either. They're exploiting the powers of other animals. They're the ones committing the atrocities."
"Not necessarily. They are giving them love and support. Is it not true that almost every trainer loves his or her pokémon?"
"They are forcing pokémon to do their bidding, whatever it may be! There are also organizations that use them for evil. Regardless, it's a total mess out there. Too many creatures are being forced to do things against their own will. I guess that's another problem. They promote slavery. Slavery is wrong! It must be stopped! This should be the deciding factor right here. I am now satisfied with my reasons to bring the world back to the way it originally was."
"But wait a second… there are still pokémon out there who love the way they live, even in captivity. They love doing whatever they do with their trainers and owners. It's not like every one of them has a huge problem with being captured."
"But I don't know that for a fact."
"Even so, it would be wrong to go on severing those good relations. Besides, there is more than one scenario here. Gallaway as a whole decided that it would be best to live the way we do. Kanto and the rest of the world decided what would be best for them. For some reason, they believe that life can be best lived when people have pokémon at their sides, doing their bidding. It's hard to understand why, but that's probably because I was raised differently."
"Additionally, there are those who enjoy living out in the wild. Why should we go and murder innocent animals?"
"Trance! Don even go there! The whole idea here is to eliminate what has poisoned our land! That should be reason enough!"
"They poisoned our land? Their ancestors were once Terran animals. It happened as a result of a freak mutation caused by that meteorite that hit the earth nearly fifty years ago. I don't see how this is poisoning our land. It's a spontaneous "evolution" of creatures… damnit I may be wrong about this whole thing. I just don't know enough!"
"Just remember the goal, I just need to keep reminding myself of the goal. Gallaway's rangers are dedicated to restoring life back to the way it originally was."
"… but it's just not right. I know, I am going by what I was taught, and my beliefs are centered around what I was taught as I grew up, based on what I have the most information on, but it just doesn't seem right to me."
"Wow, I have a decision to make, and I need to make it fast. Tomorrow is what decides it all for me."
"I can't turn my back on my parents, on society, and I certainly can't join these… pokélosers. It seems I only have one choice."
"Or do I? I still have time to get more information. Maybe if I know enough about both sides to make a rational decision, I will feel better about what I choose to do."
"What the hell, I have what, tomorrow morning? I have less than five hours from then I wake up to learn everything about a whole new lifestyle. I don't even know where to start! I have no resources. There is hardly anything in this town that has any kind of information about living life in the rest of the world. It's hopeless. I have no choice at this point. If I change my mind with nothing to back myself up with, then I will look like a fool to all of society."
Trance flipped over in bed and closed his eyes in frustration. The room had been silent up until this point; the squeaking bed was an unwanted disturbance that nearly wrecked Trance's train of thought. Trance was incredibly nervous about the decision that he was about to make. Earlier, it all made sense to him. Everything seemed so perfect, and life was good up until he sat down for dinner. It was the sight of that boy that changed everything.
"Wait a second. That's it!" Trance shot up into a sitting position in his bed. "That kid is my solution. What if I found him and asked him what he thinks about life? He's got to have an idea about what he is doing with his life! I'll just find him at the vet tomorrow morning. It's not like he has anywhere to stay."
"What if he's not there?"
"If he's not there, I can at least start there and see if anyone has any information."
"Excellent!"
Proud that he found that there was some hope, Trance immediately went to sleep. All of his mother's excitement about his father's return, combined with the evening ceremony, might make it rather difficult to get up and out of the house early the next morning.
A/N: Let me know how this is going. Is it too involved? Is it dramatic enough? Is it too long? Send whatever review you want. Just don't waste time flaming please.