Part 58
Kate opened her eyes and found herself staring at a field of stars. It took her a moment to realize that it was a window - actually a sky-light of some sort - and that she was staring out at the night. She sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. She wasn't tired, although she felt groggy. In fact, she felt as though she had been asleep for years.
Turning her head, she realized that she was not alone. There was a largish grey alien seated across from her, its head lowered into its chest. It was wearing a long, green robe, the chest emblazoned with what Kate recognized as the insignia of the House of Sardica - a bV/b with a dot confined between the two sides. Instinctively she knew it was Jack. After all, it was his voice she last recalled hearing before she had fallen into the water.
Kate shivered as she remembered the suffocating feeling of drowning - first in the thick water, then in the memory of dying in her past life. She felt her heart thunder in her chest, panic beginning to claim her. Reliving being killed at the hands of Zan's clone brought back the memory of waking up in the pod chamber after Nasedo had ended her life on Earth.
She still remembered how cold it had all been. Only seeing Alex upon waking, seemingly waiting for her, had brought any warmth.
There was no warmth now. Because there was no Alex here. And, yet, in spite of that, she knew that this was where she belonged. She didn't belong with him. It was the truth that had crossed her mind before she had passed out - that Alex belonged with Isabel. He might not know it yet, but it was what was meant to be. It was Isabel he really wanted. Kate's heart had recognized it long before her head. She was a replacement for the person he really loved, but was sure he could never have.
It was what the granolith wanted her to learn. It was why she was seeing everyone in this world in their original forms, while Isabel and Michael had stressed that, to them, everyone looked exactly as they had on Earth.
She belonged here. Isabel belonged on Earth - with Alex. The irony was that, for Isabel, after she had finally recognized what she had in Alex, he had found what he had wanted from her in someone else. But, at heart, it was Isabel he really wanted.
Which was another reason Kate belonged here. If she returned to Earth, it would only confuse matters. Alex would deny it. Kate knew he would.
She knew what had to be done.
"Jack."
Her cousin jerked, having been only in a light doze. He jumped to his feet, hurrying to her side. "You're awake! Finally!"
Kate allowed him to grab her hand. It brought some comfort. She no longer felt as cold as she had.
"What happened?" Kate asked, squeezing his hand back. "How long have I been sleeping?"
"A while," Jack said. "It was pretty obvious, after we pulled you out of the water, that you were basically okay. But you've been out of it for close to two days." He lowered his head, his voice quiet. "God, Kate. I was so worried. You know, that somehow we hadn't really fixed you. After what Nasedo did to you."
Kate reached out and touched his cheek. He looked up at her, his large eyes glistening. "I'm okay," she insisted. "It was the granolith. I had to know what really happened to us," she continued. "I guess that having me relive it like that was the only way."
"So this," Jack motioned around the room, "isn't reliving it?"
"I don't think so," Kate replied. "I'm not sure what this is," she admitted. "Maybe some kind of waiting room where we're stuck until we all learn what we're supposed to." She frowned slightly. "I don't think we're changing things on Earth, Jack. The stuff that I saw when I was out of it…We're doing things so differently, but I just feel like everything's going to be okay back there."
There was a long silence. Kate could feel her cousin's reluctance to say what was on his mind, so she pressed his hand reassuringly. "It's okay. You can say it."
"Isabel and Michael…" Jack said, his voice halting. "They said that they see us like we looked on Earth. Katie, I don't."
"Me neither," Kate told him. "I know that it's weird. But I think I've figured it out. I think it's telling us who belongs where…what our jobs are going to be when this is all over. When we go back. Or when we don't."
"You sound like maybe you don't want to go back," Jack said. The unspoken question hung in the air between them. What about Alex?
"I want to go back," Kate said softly. "But I know I can't. It's not my path, Jack. That's what the granolith is telling me. I think that's why we're seeing people as aliens, and the others aren't." She brought her hand to her heart. "I can't leave Will. I just can't. He needs me. He needed me before, and he needs me now. I have to be here. Isabel and Michael belong back there, but we just don't. It doesn't matter what we want. It's just how things have to be."
"I guess it's the price we pay for being who we are," Jack said. "A family." He reached out, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him. "Alex is going to be sorry. I don't know him very well, but even I could tell that he really cares about you."
"I know he does," Kate said. Her heart contracted slightly. She hoped that Alex would understand - that this wouldn't hurt him too much. That he would get that she was doing this partly for him, not to him. So that he could see the truth about his romantic feelings for her. That he was just transplanting what he felt for Isabel to her. "I care about him too."
I care enough to let him go, she thought, closing her eyes against the pain of it.
After she had refreshed herself, Kate allowed Jack to lead her to where the others were waiting. They were gathering in Will's presence chamber, having been informed that she had woken up. Kate had learned that they had all taken turns sitting with her, confused about what was wrong with her, and unwilling to leave her alone. It made her feel warm again - loved. Not just by her brother and her cousin, but by Michael, Isabel, and Tess too.
Because Jack had also told her that it wasn't actually Rowena - Liz - who was on Sardica, as the landing official had thought. It was Tess. The mistake made it even more clear why there had been so much confusion in their past lives with all the clones running around.
"We aren't actually on Sardica anymore," Jack said as he led the way down a long corridor.
"I assumed that," Kate replied wryly. After she had gotten her bearings upon waking, she had spent a few more minutes looking through her skylight, only to realize that the sky was actually in movement. Which meant they were back on a ship. But it was such a large ship, it was almost impossible to feel like they were traveling anywhere. It was nothing like the small shuttle she, Michael, and Isabel had taken to Sardica in the first place.
"We're going to Valonia," Jack continued, after having grinned at her. At least that's what Kate assumed his expression was. It looked a little strange on his long alien face. "Max and Liz are still there. Or we think they are. We haven't been able to communicate with them. But it's where Tess left them."
"Why did Tess leave?"
"Apparently Liz was convinced that Tess needed to be with Max again for some weird reason. Max didn't know who he was at first and it freaked Liz out. Tess left to force Liz to face that she couldn't keep running away from the fact that it's never going to be easy. That if she wants Max, she's going to have to suck it up and say so. She has to fight for it."
"Poor Liz," Kate sighed. "She's had to deal with more stuff than any of us. At least we've always known who we are." She frowned slightly. "I wonder why Max doesn't know who he is. I mean, Isabel thought she was Vilandra at first, but that was only until she learned what she needed to - that she wasn't going to betray Michael and Max again. Shouldn't it be Liz who doesn't know who she is?"
"Who knows?" Jack shrugged. "Anyway, we're going there, because we all need to be together to figure this stuff out. I mean, we don't even really know why we're here at all, do we?"
"Apparently Serena didn't understand the granolith as well as she thought she did." Kate sighed. "I got the impression from what she told us that we'd all just relive what happened before. I don't think she thought we'd actually go anywhere. None of us bargained on any of this."
"But did we actually go somewhere?" Jack asked. "That's the confusing part. Tess is convinced no. She thinks this is just the granolith's elaborate way to make us decide between Earth and here. That we couldn't really make a decision on one or the other until we knew what here is like."
"Maybe…" Kate said, knowing she sounded uncertain. "But I still think it has something to do with someone not accepting what they're supposed to learn."
"Well, if that's true, it certainly drives home the point that we're all connected to each other," Jack commented. "If someone is still unwilling to let something go, until they are, we're all stuck."
Kate stopped walking. "Who is it, do you think?"
"It has to be Liz," Jack replied. "She seemed so accepting of it all, when we connected to bring you back, but I think being here must have been really shocking to her. It drove home that she's not entirely human. That's why we're going to Valonia. To remind her that she belongs where she wants to belong."
"Did Tess say whether Liz is seeing people as humans or aliens?"
"Humans," Jack said.
"Maybe that's it then," Kate agreed, but deep down she was pretty sure it wasn't. She was pretty sure she knew who was really the one still clinging to something that could never be. But she couldn't make that determination for sure until she came face to face with again.
Which she did, about five minutes later.
When Jack and Kate joined the others, Will was standing near a large window, which displayed a field of stars in all their magnificence.
The alien figure Kate recognized as Michael was standing with him, his arms crossed, annoyance practically radiating from every part of him. Kate wondered what her brother had said to irritate Michael this time. Probably not much. Michael definitely did not like Will. Which Kate almost couldn't blame him for. Michael was loyal to Max. And Will's entire being was focused on taking away the one person who meant the most to Michael's best friend. It was Will that Kate was sure had not yet accepted that he and Liz were never going to be together. He said he did, but the fact that he had tried to hide that he remembered his Earthly side, when they had contacted him from Antar, did not bode well that this was entirely true.
She felt a pang of guilt for suspecting the worst of her brother, because the instant he became aware of her, he came towards her, his arms outstretched. When he reached her, he hugged her hard. "I'm so glad you're all right."
"Thank you," Kate said quietly, pulling back and staring him full in the face, trying to read what was really going on in his mind. His grey alien face was ridiculously placid, however. Kate had developed something of a facility at reading these expressionless visages, but Will's was impenetrable.
"What happened?" This question came from Isabel, who was seated on a sofa nearby. A small female alien, who was obviously Tess, was leaning forward, apparently as eager to hear Kate's story as Isabel.
Kate lowered her eyes. She realized that she wasn't quite ready to tell Isabel exactly what she thought the granolith had meant for her to learn. Because if she did - if she told Isabel that she was standing aside so that Isabel could pursue Alex again - it would be the end. Completely the end. In her head, she knew that she had already made the right decision, but her heart wasn't quite ready to give up on the dream of having someone just for herself.
"I found out how we died," she said instead, not elaborating on why it happened when it did. "I guess someone had to."
"You did?" Isabel stood, moving closer.
"Yeah." Kate quickly filled the others in on the details of Vilandra, Jondar, and Karana's deaths. "So it wasn't Zan at all," she concluded. "It was his clone."
"I guess we all sort of knew that," Isabel said, sounding relieved. "But Max will be glad to have it confirmed."
"Speaking of Max, how much longer until we get there?" Kate asked.
"Not long," Will said, his tone strangely even. Kate noticed that Tess was watching him, a quizzical expression on her face. It occurred to Kate that Tess and Will had spent some time together alone before she, Isabel, and Michael had arrived on Sardica. Jack had been there too, of course, but there seemed to be a weird charge in the air between Will and Tess that had not existed before.
"In the meantime, I'm trying to convince your brother that we need to interrogate the shapeshifter," Michael added, his tone gruff. "He doesn't agree."
"What's the point?" Will demanded. "We know what he's been up to. It's just going to be hard on Isabel."
"And as I said," Isabel interjected, sounding wry, "Don't make the decision based on me. I'm over it. Trust me. I barely remember him, plus I thought he was you." The tone of her voice seemed to indicate that now that she remembered the real Will, losing 'Khivar' wasn't much of a loss at all.
"I want to talk to him," Michael insisted. "We don't know what we're going to face when we get to Valonia. Maybe he does."
"There were shapeshifters there," Tess said. Will glanced at her, then away again. Kate frowned at that. He was quite deliberately ignoring Tess now. What the heck was going on? Tess noticed too, because she sounded annoyed when she added, "We're probably walking right into a trap."
"Fine," Will snapped finally when they all stared at him for a lengthy moment of silence. "Just don't blame me if…" He cut himself off abruptly, instead going to the wall and speaking softly into a communication device there.
Kate glanced at Jack, who seemed as perplexed as she did. What was Will's problem with this? Wasn't information worth a little discomfort?
"Are you really all right?" Tess asked, distracting Kate from her brother's strange behavior.
"Yes," Kate replied, smiling slightly. "Thanks."
"We were really worried," Tess said. She reached out and took Kate's hand, squeezing lightly. "I'm glad you're okay. It must be weird…knowing how you died."
"It wasn't pleasant," Kate admitted. "But it did answer a lot of questions." She looked at Tess intently, remembering that she wasn't sure if any of Tess's questions had been answered. She didn't yet know if Tess was seeing things through human or alien eyes. The tension that existed between her and Will also seemed to indicate that Tess had been dealing with some issues of her own. "How are you?" Kate asked, curious.
"I'm good," Tess replied. "I'm where I'm supposed to be." Kate noticed that she was watching Will, who had gone to stare out the window at the stars again, when she said it.
The granolith was doing its job. The pieces were all falling into place. But as Kate examined the tense line of her brother's back, she had to wonder if Will was ever going to accept what was meant to be.
She knew now, for sure, that it was Will who had trapped them in the granolith. Liz might be a part of it, but it was Will who had to change. And, until he did, none of them were going anywhere, no matter how much they learned.