"You sure you wanna have a baby?"
"Yes. Why? Are there health problems?"
"For you, maybe."
"Dammit, Yamazaki—doctor—whatever! All you have to answer was yes or no! Don't go on stalling like that! What's your problem?"
"Geez, Syaoran, shut up," Sakura snapped. She was sitting on a small bed, the one you lay down so the doctor can examine you. Her legs were swinging back and forth since she sat on the bed.
Syaoran was growing impatient. He had been at the clinic for almost six hours, yet this so-called professional doctorwouldn't hurry up and give a quick answer. His foot was tapping on the floor.
Yamazaki gave him a look. "Look, Syaoran, you didn't have to get over a decades' worth of college degree, so I suggest you shut your trap before I band you from this hospital!"
"Whoa—Takashi! Don't be so mean," Sakura said. "I only want to get pregnant."
He turned to her. "Really?"
"Yes."
Syaoran growled.
"Well, if you do, your hips will stay large. Syaoran, do you want that?"
"Why are you asking me for?" he mumbled, hands in his pockets.
"Sakura, if you get pregnant, after giving birth, you'll experience some severe bleeding."
She gasped. "Oh, my gosh! Are you positive?"
"Wait, did I say 'severe'? I meant minor."
Sakura sighed from relief. Syaoran only rolled his eyes.
"To get back to shape, you'll need a lot of exercise."
"Get back to shape?" she asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Yep. When you're pregnant, you need to eat for the baby's sake. From that, you'll gain some weight, most of which is the baby's." He paused, seeing the look on Sakura's face. "They never taught you about pregnancy?"
"No," Sakura replied, shaking her head. "Uh-uh."
He scoffed. "Schools these days."
Syaoran sweatdropped, blinking. He's not even a girl and he already knows about it.
Yamazaki got up. He walked over to his table and wrote down something. "Take this to the pharmacy next door. They'll give you a dose of vitamins—"
"Shots?" Sakura was shocked.
"No-o-o…. Tablets. They'll give it to you in a bottle. You'll need to eat at least one a day."
"Why?" Syaoran asked. "She's not pregnant."
"I never said she wasn't—"
"I'm pregnant!" Sakura was grinning ear-to-ear.
Syaoran gasped. "You little—"
"I'm pregnant!"
"Ach—Let go of me—this instant! I'm your ph—Security! Secu—rity! I can't—breathe! Don't you need—to?"
"I'm pregnant! All right! I'm gonna have a baby!"
"I said let go! Get—"
"Ye-e-a-a-h!"
– Almost Nine Months Later –
"Oh, my God, that is the ugliest baby ever," Meiling said while holding Syaoran's and Sakura's baby. "I bet the doctor slapped Sakura when this thing popped out."
Syaoran was offended. Sure, the baby was creepy and had a face only a mother could love, but the child was also his. And when someone insults blood family, you go after them.
"Like yours is any better when it popped out," he snapped.
"FYI, I don't have one yet." She said it was an attitude—the sarcastic one.
He growled, glaring at her.
Meiling nonchalantly hummed silently, holding the bottle up for the baby. "Is this human or a monster? Looks like a monster. Boy or girl? Still monster."
"Give him here!" Syaoran hissed, snatching his child back.
"Hey—" Meiling accidentally dropped the bottle. "Look what you made me do!"
The baby started wailing loudly.
"It's not my fault you don't want him!" he spat. Syaoran tried to rock the boy back to sleep.
A few minutes later, everything was quiet again.
Meiling suddenly crossed her leg. "What's taking them so long?" she asked impatiently.
Immediately at she finished her sentence, Yamazaki came out. He was in the white uniform. Funny, how someone like him ended up being a doctor. Anyway, he came out and shook his head, his eyes closed. There was a nurse standing beside the door. She nodded.
"What? What's wrong?" Syaoran asked, standing up. He gave the child to Meiling, who happily took him.
"I'm sorry, but…" he was saying, still shaking his head. His eyes were closed, his head was down. Nothing else came out of his mouth.
"Sakura—" Syaoran exclaimed. He pushed Yamazaki aside and opened the door. On the bed laid a body covered by a white sheet. "Sa… kura?" he called, his heart almost shattering into a million pieces. He broke into tears as he bent down next to her. Syaoran held her hand, his face on the side of the bed.
"Uh… Syaoran? What are you doing?" Yamazaki asked.
He found the question ridiculous. He snapped in a deep voice, "What do you mean, what am I doing! Are you blind, man! She's dead—Sakura's dead!"
"What?" Meiling questioned, getting up. "That's Sakura? What's wrong with her hand?" She raised an eyebrow.
"I'm don't know," Syaoran replied in a pathetic tone, his voice breaking and his mouth not able to say the right thing. His vision was too blurry for him to see the outline of "Sakura's" hand.
"That's not Sakura," Yamazaki said, patting his back.
"Why is it that when somebody die, you keep telling the loved one of the dead person that the person isn't dead?" he demanded.
He sweatdropped. "She isn't dead."
"Shut up, doctor! Let me accept it, or I won't ever be able to later!"
"He's so pathetic when he's crying," Meiling whispered to Yamazaki.
Yamazaki nodded in agreement, a grin on his face. "Syaoran, that isn't even a real body."
"Then why did you come out and shake your head and said you were sorry!" he growled, tears still falling from his eyes. He decided that it was better to go with the flow than against it.
"Because I was doing surgery on that fake body, then I messed up something to cause all the blood to spill around the waist, and I came out to tell the nurse—who was standing next to the door—that I was sorry for ruining a very good body," he simply replied.
Syaoran narrowed his eyes. He rubbed his eyes, then looked at the hand.
"Oh, in case you were wondering, it's a dead body."
"Ahhh—you said it wasn't real!" Syaoran and Meiling exclaimed, very shocked and disgusted. They backed all the way to the door.
"'Cause it's dead," Yamazaki replied, cracking up. "You thought Sakura was dead– Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
"What's going on?" Sakura inquired, stepping in from a door on the left wall. Her waist was still big.
"Hey, didn't you have the baby already?" Syaoran said, pointing at her stomach, then at the child in Meiling's arms.
"Oh! That's where another patient's child is! You baby-nappers!" Yamazaki accused jokingly. He took the baby, then gave him to the nurse.
"So—that wasn't my child?" Syaoran said, very pitingly and a bit relieved the monster wasn't his. "I won't have a boy?"
"You will, shut up," Yamazaki snapped. "Sakura, you need to go back to bed. Your water already broke, so you shouldn't be walking around."
"Fine, fine. I feel good, though… Syaoran, why's your face red?"
When Sakura and Yamazaki left, Meiling started laughing.
"You should've seen the look on your face! Oh, my gosh! First time in my life: Li Syaoran, crying over his wife! Ahahahah! You looked pitiful! Should've brought a camera to film everything and to take pictures!"
"Shut up," he murmured, red in the face.
That made it even worse. Meiling fell on the floor, holding her stomach.
– Two Years Later –
"God, it stinks in here!" Sakura said when she entered the bathroom.
Syaoran sweatdropped. "You're not the one doing the work."
"Yay!" Eriol squealed, splashing a cup of water at Syaoran.
His eyes grew small until they were the size of a thread.
"Finish bath!" the child squealed again, getting up.
"Oh, shit—" Syaoran exclaimed, seeing a poop fall into the water.
Sakura laughed; Syaoran scoffed from disbelief since he cleaned Eriol before the bath already.
"I'll take him while you clean up the 'mess,'" she offered, pulling on the plug. The water started draining, along with the brown stuff. Eriol laughed, pointing at the thing he made.
Unfortunately, the poop didn't go with the water. It stuck at the entrance to the pipe. Syaoran scoffed once again, pointing at it.
"Not my problem!" Sakura quickly said. She immediately picked up Eriol and ran out.
One of Syaoran's eyes twitched.
– Another Two Years –
"Red feces, you say…. Hmm…. Big, small, medium?"
"Small! He's just a baby, dammit!"
"Cut the swearing, Syaoran. You're in front of Eriol."
Syaoran murmured something very impolite.
"It's nothing to worry about."
"What! You keep us here for 45 minutes—45 minutes—and that's all you needed to say!"
"Geez! You're at the hospital, Syaoran! And Eriol will cry over your yelling!" Sakura hissed. She was covering the child's face.
Yamazaki rolled his eyes. "You must've fed him something red yesterday—maybe too much."
"He had some cherries," Sakura admitted. She checked Eriol's tongue.
"Sakura, cherries are red," Syaoran pointed out. "And the tongue is almost the same color."
"Couldn't Eriol have a fever or something?" she asked, looking at Yamazaki.
Syaoran whispered to himself: "Hope the older one really died from it."
"It would take lots of cherries to turn feces red like that."
Yamazaki raised an eyebrow. "You must've overfed him with cherries. Look, the child had just burped up a cherry pit."
"Oh, my gosh! That's his tooth, Takashi!" Sakura exclaimed.
Meiling, who was sitting at a chair across the room, bursted out laughing. "Gosh, how can you burp up a tooth?"
Syaoran checked his son's mouth, muttering, "I can't believe you named him 'Eriol.'" Then he said, "There's no tooth missing. It is a pit."
– Five Months Later –
"I hate going to the doctor," Syaoran mumbled when they entered the clinic.
"You're not the one getting checked so don't whine," Sakura hissed.
An hour later, they were finally called up. At Yamazaki's office, he checked the usual things for Eriol. Then he told him to take off his shoes and socks.
Yamazaki made this loud gasp. "There's a worm in your leg!"
Syaoran and Sakura went: "What!"
Eriol started trembling.
"Nope. Nothing."
Sakura sighed from relief; Syaoran growled.
"You do know that hookworms enter your body through your feet, right?" Yamazaki asked.
Eriol's eyes widened.
"So, never walk bare-footed outside." He paused. "Did you know that in Shakespear's plays back in the old days that all the roles were men? There weren't any women. So, in romantic scenes, the men are... in a gay position, especially in kissing scenes." Yamazaki said it very nonchalantly.
"Yamazaki!" Syaoran snapped. "Don't you go putting shit in my child's brain! It's dirty enough from all your other stories!"
"Syaoran, you're doing the same thing," Sakura pointed out.
He growled.
"Oh, look!" someone exclaimed from the doorway.
"Tomoyo!" Sakura said, running to hug her.
"Good to see you, Sakura," Tomoyo said, returning the hug. "How's Eriol?"
"I'm doing very good," the old Eriol answered, stepping in. "So, where's my Godchild?"
Syaoran popped in, "He's not your Godchild. And Tomoyo was asking about my child. Tomoyo, you should be more specific."
"If you're gonna comment," Eriol stated, "it shouldn't be so long."
"That's why it's called a comment!"
"Do you love me, Daddy?" little Eriol questioned, running to Syaoran and hugging his legs.
"I love you, Eriol," Syaoran replied. He bent down to pat his son.
"O-kay! Too close right here!" the adult Eriol said, backing up.
Syaoran's face turned red when he realized what the big Eriol meant. He snapped, "Don't make a joke when I'm talking to my son and not you!"
"Hey, we have the same name. Use a different nickname for your son, then."
"When you gonna have one?" Sakura was asking Tomoyo.
Tomoyo blushed.
"Ohh, come on. It's nothing to be embarrassed about," she insisted.
Tomoyo made a face, the blush turning darker. "No! It's not your business!"
"Come on! You gonna name the first one 'Sakura' or 'Syaoran'?"
"No!"
"Ohh, man! I just want to know! I told you about mine!"
"No!"
Syaoran and the Eriols were running around the room. Yamazaki was away, so they weren't disciplined for messing around. Then Eriol tripped, and Syaoran fell over him, and little Eriol jumped on Syaoran's back. They had fallen in front of Sakura and Tomoyo, who just stopped arguing to laugh.
"Oh, shit! You're cracking my back, Eriol!" Syaoran murmured.
"You're cracking mine," the bigger Eriol pointed out.
The baby Eriol continued jumping on Syaoran's back, laughing and drooling.
Syaoran and Eriol sweatdropped. "Someone, get a tissue. He's drooling on me."
"Good. Drooling's good. And laughing, too." Yamazaki entered. "Now, get out for my next patient." He kicked them out of his room.
"That wasn't very polite," they murmured.
Sakura and Tomoyo said, "Now I know what it feels like to have your back cracked."
-Two Hours Later-
"Okay, be quiet! Stop yelling!"
"Syaoran, don't be so mean to him."
"Look, if we keep on babying him, he'll never grow up to be a boy."
"What, he can't turn gay?"
"I don't want him to be gay!" Syaoran exclaimed.
The whole restaurant turned to look at them. Sakura grew red from embarassment; Syaoran was red from anger. Then each of them slowly returned to what they were doing.
"This is a fairly nice restaurant, so you shouldn't be talking so loud, Syaoran," she pointed out.
Eriol, brown hair and emerald-brown eyes, kept on crying. He wanted to buy this toy car they had just saw at a store some time ago. Syaoran told him they already had one at home, but Sakura insisted they buy him another one. Somehow and someway, they ended at this restaurant.
"That's it, you need to get a diaper change," Syaoran hissed. He dug into the baby bag to get out a diaper and some wet papers.
"Syaoran, we just changed him."
"I want to change him, got it?" Syaoran held Eriol with one hand, the wet papers and diaper in his other hand.
The gentlemen restroom was empty, so he was pretty sure what he was doing will work.
–
Sakura was drinking her water when she heard a loud slap from somewhere, followed by a baby's cry. From the sound of it, it sounded like her child Eriol.
"Be quiet!" came Syaoran's voice.
"Ahh! Daddy, stop it!" Eriol yelled.
There were a few more slaps, which frightened Sakura and gave her bad thoughts of Syaoran. Everyone else sort of gave her a look of hatred for being with someone who abuses a baby. She fell as low down the chair as possible. When Syaoran came out, there were a few gasps. Then the waiters and waitresses ran to report it.
Syaoran was dragging a half purple-in-the-face baby. Little Eriol's tears was still falling from his eyes. Sakura gaped, gasping really loudly. She breathed in and out as loud as possible.
"Syaoran, what the hell—"
"I taught him what he deserved," he replied, raising Eriol, then dropping him back on the hard floor.
Eriol gave a groan.
"You—you just—you've hit our baby—our flesh and blood—you—hit him?" She looked at him, beginning to cry.
"Now, now, if we don't discipline him this early, he'll never learn." Syaoran was grinning, much to everyone's surprise. He turned to the child, a grim look on his face. "Will you be obedient now, Eriol?"
"Yes, Daddy," Eriol replied in a dazed voice. He looked at Sakura.
Sakura almost couldn't believe it. It was too quick, too drastic. Is this really Syaoran? The real deal, the real Syaoran? All the nice, romatic Syaoran gone? What's left is this one?
She almost blew fire at him. Without saying a word, she got her cup, then splashed the water into his face. Syaoran blinked, gaping. The water was so cold. Eriol started laughing. When Syaoran gave him a firm looked, he stopped, and looked sadly at Sakura again.
"Mommy, why did you do that to Daddy?"
"He's not 'Daddy' anymore, Eriol. Let's go." She picked up Eriol, along with the bag, and started walking out.
"Sakura, don't leave me," Syaoran cried, wrapping his arms around her from behind.
"You hit Eriol—you've hit our baby!" she hissed. "Don't—touch—me!" Sakura yelled, literally biting his head off.
He followed her all the way to the car, practically begging her to forgive him. Eriol almost bursted out laughing a few times, but Syaoran managed to control him well enough. When Sakura buckled her child in correctly, she got to the driver seat.
"No—Sakura! Don't leave me here alone!"
"I'll report you, faker!"
"What—?"
"Daddy no go," Eriol said as Sakura started the car.
She looked back. "You don't understand, Eriol. He can't abuse you like that. A few tiny slaps will do, but not purple bruises."
"Cherries," he told her, grinning.
"What?" She raised an eyebrow at the child.
He began to laugh. "Joke—Dad sees youmad and what you do."
"What!"
Syaoran winced. Sakurajumped out and slammed the door shut. She looked at Syaoran.
"Really? This your idea of a joke, honey?"
"Not really."
"Ohh, you can tell me." She said it very softly and almost put a spell on him.
He looked at her. "You really wanted to divorce me?"
"Yep."
"For hitting him, who is named after the person I hate the most in this world?"
"Uh-huh."
"Me, son!" Eriol was knocking on the window. "No Daddy's hatest person!"
"Really?"
"Of course. As I've said, our—flesh and blood! You played a trick on me!" She started hitting him with the bag. "That was just cherry juice! But, you dropped him on purpose! And now Eriol's gonna be just like you! Playing tricks on his wife! I'll get back at you, Syaoran!"
"Ahh—I know, I know! Just stop hurting me—I have feelings, too!"
"Sure you do!"
– Three Months Later –
Sakura walked back and forth across the hallway, doing some laundry. She saw little Eriol sitting before one side of the wall and didn't thought much of it. Finally, she stopped and sat down next to him. Eriol was staring blankly at the wall.
She raised an eyebrow. "Eriol?" she asked, shaking the boy gently. "What are you looking at?" She tried to find a small dot on the wall. Nope. Nothing.
"Can you see it?"
"See what?" Sakura replied.
"The shadows…."
A dark feeling made her shiver. She felt a cold wind.
"Shadows…. Everywhere. So dark. There's no light. Can you live like that?"
"No," she whispered.
Eriol's voice turned to a whisper. "I can see it all around us."
"See what? What around us?" Sakura looked behind her to make sure no one was there.
Little Eriol turned to her. His eyes were pure white—no pupil in sight.
"See it all... It's all around you—around us. We're not safe. Behind you!"
Sakura immediately turned around. Syaoran jumped out of nowhere and yelled, "Boo!"
She gave a loud shriek, then realized it was only Syaoran, and kicked his leg.
"Oww!" he groaned. Syaoran rubbed his leg. "No need for physical violence."
Eriol was laughing. He pointed at his mother.
"Eriol, what happened to your eyes?" Sakura asked with concern.
"Ccontrol eyes," he replied between laughs.
"No! Don't do that! Your eyes will stay that way if you do it too much!"
The doorbell rang.
"Time to get the candy for the kids," Syaoran told them, getting up. He limped down the stairs.
"This is why I dread Halloween," Sakura murmured. She held Eriol's hand as they followed Syaoran.
–
"Mommy! Mommy!"
"What is it, Eriol?" Sakura was opening some more bags of candies.
"I need my costume!"
"What time is it?"
"Seven."
"We have candy right here."
"I don't like those!"
"Fine." She started for the laundry room when she realized Syaoran might be playing a trick on her again. She peered in from the hallway and heard the doorbell, then someone running to get it. Sakura was sure this was no trick, so she continued to the laundry room, Eriol following closely behind.
It was cold in the basement. Sakura turned on the light.
"Mommy, I wanna go now."
"Just—just wait for me to get it." She calmly walked toward the washing machine. A pole ran on top of it. The costume was hanging from a hanger. Sakura was scared of it, especially the mask. When she reached up, the washing machine popped open and Syaoran jumped out.
"Happy Halloween!" he exclaimed, a big grin on his face.
Sakura screamed.
Syaoran was laughing as he said, "I was so scared no one would come down here. Then I would be stuck in this machine forever! And do you know how cramped it is? I can hardly fit inside–"
"Syaoran…" Sakura's shadow loomed over him.
"Eh…. Uh…. Oops?" He sweatdropped, a nervous grin on his face this time. "Is this your revenge? Tomoyo is here, so she'll be my witness!"
The End
L.P.B.:
Happy Halloween. Please note some of the humor isn't original, so don't sue me! And they weren't die-hard funny... I should start creating my own humor... eh... Very busy with school, and I'm a very boring person. Got projects and lab reports. I'm not kidding! (sighs) This one-shot was cramped into my plans. What can I say? The ideas just popped in. There should be more, but I don't have time to think. Thank you everyone who have read, especially those who left behind a review.
My favorite part was when little Eriol said "Daddy no go"! Ohh, it was so cute! You can just imagine a little kid say that!
Yes, it was a drag to read… and a drag to read this….
Mistakes? No, some, all over? Dumb, smart, obvious? Please don't tell me I'm OOC or this is just plain… stupid without reason. Especially if you're anonymous. That means you're not confident, and you're one of those two-faced. I can say it because you don't have the face to leave your penname/e-mail. Dunno why, but whatever. I don't return flames unless you're a plagairizer.
Oh, and this was created last year, but finished too late for Halloween. For a better one-shot, read my other one just posted, "Halloween Fever"!
ONE-SHOT
Again: Happy Halloween!