Warning: Some may find this chapter disturbing, deals with rape.

Chapter 3 – Tarnished

"So are you still married to Chuck?"

"No" Susan replied looking down at her empty mug. She sat in silence running her fingertip round the rim.

"Susan?" Abby cocked her head looking at her friend.

Susan looked up at Abby and half smiled.

"Are you ok?" She asked raising her brows. "Was it a bad break up?"

Susan nodded. "Yep" She looked out of the window.

"I'm sorry"

Susan nodded again and sat in silence.

"I'm going have another coffee, what about you?"

"Yes please" She leaned over towards Abby and looked in to her eyes "I haven't talked about it since it happened"

"What was that?" Abby answered, putting her glasses on to look down at the electronic menu card. She ordered two more coffees.

Susan laughed at Abby "You look like a cute old lady with those specs"

"Shut up!" Abby scolded playfully and smiled.

"Well here goes my life story for the past two decades. Let me think… erm I got married again to a paediatric surgeon whom I met after I left Chuck. My husbands name is Robert; He is five years younger than me, it was love at first sight for him when he met me on my first day at my new position. I was deeply attracted to him but I wasn't ready for another relationship, after splitting up with Chuck. I wanted to get my life back together, concentrating on bringing up Cosmo. Robert and I became really good friends, which was good because it took things slowly between us. Eventually we went on date and it went from there, we got married. I had two more children, a girl and boy. Rosie is 19; I fell pregnant with her shortly after dating Robert… so I have no room to talk about your daughter because I'm no better! Anyway she's at college studying journalism trying to follow Susie's footsteps"

"Your niece Susie?" Abby interrupted "Gosh she's must be nearly thirty"

"Yes she's 30 and works for New York Times, she's married with two children"

"You said you had another boy?"

"Yes Cameron, he's 15 still at school"

"Cameron? How Scottish of you Susan!"

"Robert is a Scottish descendant, his surname is Macintosh"

Abby nodded "Ah" She bit her bottom lip and asked, "Why did you and Chuck split?"

Susan paused for a moment. "Ok, I'll tell you why, this is the subject I like to avoid"

She shook her head and takes in a deep breath. "Chuck and I broke up because we were not getting on. We never really did after stupidly getting married in Vegas. I think we really stuck together because I fell pregnant with Cosmo, as you already know about that… When I moved back to Phoenix again, things got worst between us. Chuck would come home most nights drunk, sometimes too drunk to have responsibilities looking after our son. There are times where I get a phone call at work from the day-care, telling me that my husband has not picked up our son. The thing is our relationship mainly broke down due to lack of communication. I got to the point that I couldn't stand him at all; I don't know why I stuck with him? Maybe it's habit. I used cringe every time he wanted to have sex. He wasn't interested in making love; he was just selfish like rolling on top of me. I let him get it done and over with for a quiet life. Otherwise If I said no… He would beat me senseless".

"Bastard!" Abby gasped, "Susan, I'm so sorry, I had no idea"

"I woke up one morning. Packed up my things and left. I drove Cosmo and myself all the way to New York, leaving my new job. I turned up at Chloe's door; we had to laugh because Chloe's the one who does the turning up at the door. She put me up until I found a place of my own. I found a position as an Attending at a hospital in Manhattan. The same hospital where I met Robert. I didn't care the fact I dropped from being a Chief to an Attending, at least it was a job and something to keep the roof over our heads. I spend many weeks looking over my shoulders watching out for Chuck. I didn't know whether he would turn up thinking that I might have ran off to my sister's"

"You've had your ups and downs" Abby commented sipping her fresh mug of Coffee. "So erm did you ever see Chuck again?"

Susan nodded. "Yes"

"And?"

"And what?" Susan said defensively

"I didn't know if you had anymore trouble from him?"

"Too damn right I did, that's why I said to you earlier I haven't talked about it since it happened"

"You don't have to talk about it Susan, if you don't want to" Abby shook her head "If its too painful for you?"

"Yes I want to talk about" Susan said, leaning forward resting her elbows on the table. "You were my best friend and you should know about this"

"When you're ready" Abby cocked her head forward with her eyes peering over the top of her glasses.

"This is one of the reason why I lost touch with you guys after fleeing from Phoenix to the Big Apple"

"We all lose touch from time to time when we move on, it's part of life"

Susan took a hard swallow "Anyway Robert and I have been dating for a few weeks and one evening we were invited to a Fellowship ball, Chloe babysat Cosmo overnight. It was a beautiful night and the atmosphere was great, I thought it would be boring; they were only going to talk about nothing but the rights and wrongs of surgery. I wore this beautiful dress that blew Robert away. I so felt good because it was the first time..."

Susan sighed, gleefully.

"…I felt so happy for god knows how long. I fell in love with him and he made me feel like a human being again. He was a very passionate man; he gave me something I never experienced before. Anyway it was the end of the night, Robert and I got a taxi home until he got paged. Taxi dropped him off at the hospital first. He said he would go straight home if it got too late for him to come by my place. When I got home, I stood on the doorstep rummaging through my bag to find my keys and a male approached me. I wanted to scream when I realized it was Chuck. I was so shocked at how did he manage to find me in New York? He knew Chloe's address, he went from there. Would you believe that he was stalking me for a week?"

"That's so creepy" Abby shuddered. "What did he say to you?"

"It's what he did to me" Susan replied taking another hard swallow. "He was angry that I took his son away from him. Ok. I understand that but I wasn't going to prepare to put up with his shit anymore, his drunken arguments leading him to slap me about. I'll tell you something, the night before I left, I was laid in bed asleep and got disturbed by him staggering in. I moaned at him for not picking his son up earlier and regrettably said to him that he was an inadequate father."

"I wouldn't regret saying that" Abby interrupted

"You would if he was physically strangling you after you said that? How did I defend myself? While he was pressing his thumb against my windpipe. I was choking for air; I managed to reach for the bedside lamp and whacked it round his head. I looked at the sorry ass, he was laid there unconscious on the bed."

"I can't believe that had to go through that Suse" Abby scoffed in disbelief.

"That was nothing compared to what happened that night when Chuck turned up in New York… So I said you that he was angry… I asked him to leave. He refused to do so; he wanted to know why I left him. I told him the obvious reason and he begged me to have him back. Give our relationship another go. I said go to hell and that he had made my life a misery. He wasn't happy the fact that I screwing about with another guy. I said it was none of his business considering we are no longer together or ever will be. I must have hit a nerve because Chuck lost it. He slammed me against the wall. I tried to fight him off. I struggled because he was so strong. He punched me round the head, I was seeing stars from the blow; he grabbed my keys from my bag and unlocked the door. Then dragged me into my home and knocked me to the floor"

Abby's eyes widen, putting her hand in front of her mouth.

"Next minute I woke up from the fuzziness, I was on my back with my wrists zip-tied together to the banisters at the bottom of the stairs. The lounge door was ajar, I could see Chuck eating and flicking through the channels on my television. He turned round to look at me; he had evil in his eyes. I cannot believe this is not the same person I once knew… I never found out why he had changed over night? Alcoholism?"

"I certainly wasn't a violent person when I went through my lean phase" Abby said, sitting uncomfortably mentioning about her past addiction with the drink. "Then again it can affect people in different ways"

"Yes it made Chuck violent… it had made him a monster… After I woke up, he walked up to me and complimented me saying how beautiful I was. How sexy I looked in my dress. He straddled on top of me and leaned over to kiss me, I moved my head away. He gripped my face and scolded at me for moving away when he tried to kiss, instead he licked across my face. He was stroking my hair and my cheeks. I was trembling; I was so scared wondering what he was planning to do next. He was so unpredictable. He started to grope my breasts and tracing his hand all over me especially down below. I felt sick because I did not belong to him. He said it was ok for him to touch me as were together. I begged him to leave me alone, and then he unbuckled his bent and ripped my underwear off. I tried to squirm away from him but he managed to force my legs open for him to enter and pounded his body into me. He raped me four times that night. It felt like eternity when he finished and my mind was numb. I was praying that he wouldn't kill me, hoping that I will be alive by the morning. Visions of leaving a son behind flashed through my mind. Before he left, he said to me that he would be back for more. After he left, I was still tied up, I spent all night lying there bruised and humiliated"

Abby sat there with her eyes welled up; She had feeling of anger and sadness. She took her glasses off to wipe the tears with a napkin and leaned forward to gently clasped hold of Susan's hand.

"He should be strung up by the balls," Abby seethed. "Who found you?"

"The Police and Robert. They noticed at work that I hadn't turned up and not answered my home phone, cell or pager. Robert was getting increasingly worried that I have not showed up and at lunchtime he called the police to assist him at my house in case of anything like a hostage or murder…"

"I bet Robert was devastated"

"Yes he was… Robert was fantastic for standing by side, helping me pull through. He was cut up all right; it took time for him to come to terms with what happened. He gave me all the time and space I needed. He stood by me when I found I was pregnant and there were doubts about who was the father… His or Chucks. I fell pregnant because my pill had failed. We waited until Rosie was born to take a DNA

test… Thankfully it was Robert's"

"Did the police catch Chuck in the end?"

"Yes they did eventually, they found him in working in Alaska, at a hospital doing his Flight Nurse job. It took a year to track him down and they had to warrant him to come back to the New York state for the trial"

"What did he get?" Abby gently folded her arms.

"Oh god only between 5-10 years" Susan replied in a bitter tone "And probably got released on the minimum time"

"Yes justice sucks in different states, one state says 15 years and another 5 years"

"So I don't know what he's doing now, doubt he's a nurse, he might lost his licence after doing time, quite frankly I don't give a shit!"

"What about Cosmo?"

"He had wondered about him, he is aware what had happened. He doesn't want to know Chuck. He sees Robert as his father and he has been his father figure bringing him up"

Abby rose from her seat and walked round to sit next to Susan. Gave her a hug. She said, "I'm so sorry, I'm devastated"

Abby's pager bleeped. She rolled her eyes when she looks down to read.

"Typical…" She muttered "I've finished for the day and they want to me drag me back in there" Abby stood up straight from her seat.

"You better go" Susan rose up on her feet.

"How long are you in Chicago?"

"A few days" Susan replied. "I've got a conference tomorrow and I'm helping Cos and his wife move in their new home, she's arriving on Wednesday"

"Oh your son's married?"

"Yes to his childhood sweetheart and I have a 2 year old granddaughter"

"Oh wow that's make two of us, grandparents," Abby chirped, "I didn't get the chance to tell that Robyn had boy, his name is Jack"

"Jack? Isn't that a pet name for John?"

"Absolutely" She smiled wryly "I just wondering if you wanted to come around for dinner tonight?"

"Oh I'd love to, Cos is working late and I'll probably be sat in my hotel room tapping away on my laptop" Susan grinned.

"Ok my place at 7 o'clock" Abby smiled. She pulled out a piece of paper, scribbled her address and gives it to Susan "Here… this my address, in case you have forgotten your way round Chicago"

Susan sat back down in her seat and She watched Abby leave the coffee bar and through the tinted windowpane overlooking the busy street she watched her cross over the road back to the hospital.