Courage Needs You - Chapter #9
When she woke up, light was seeping through her curtains and illuminating her room. She blinked once, then twice, then winced and moaned. She pulled the covers over her head to block out the light, and swam her tongue around her desiccated mouth. The idea of gouging out her own eyes was strangely appealing; no doubt it would be less painful than what she was currently experiencing.
Her head pounded something horrible as she peeked through her covers, seeing green numbers displaying 7:43am and a beautiful glass of water just sitting there, waiting for her to drink it. She snatched the glass with a surprising speed considering her still groggy state, and snuck it under the blanket before draining three-quarters of it.
Holding the glass to her chest to keep it from spilling, she mulled over the results of last night. Bits and pieces were a bit obscure, but for the most part she remembered everything from the nasty beer to the icy hands touching her in places he had no right touching.
She felt inexplicitly dirty knowing she had let him.
Groaning, she buried her head into her pillow. What a nice memory to label as her first make-out session. As she continued to lie there, tucked away under her duvet, the more her skin started to crawl with her gut clenching in guilt.
The feeling of filth still clung to her body, making her itch with disgust before staggering out of bed to haul herself to the bathroom. Every move made her head split that much more but that didn't matter, what mattered was a good thorough ablution. Maybe the shame would wash away with the grime.
Turning the knob onto scolding, she shrieked to high heavens when the water touched her skin but she steadfastly remained, gritting her teeth to endure the pain. She scrubbed her skin, turning it even redder from the belligerent action. After fifteen minutes of blistering hot water and rubbing her skin raw, she stepped out to a steam filled bathroom and lobster looking feet. No doubt the rest of her body looked the same.
When she pulled her fresh new uniform on, the grotesque feeling instantly returned, making her remember Yukio and his disgusting wet mouth and his stringy impatient fingers. Just imagining his face made her visibly cringe from head to toe, her stomach lurching and her mouth tasting sour to complete the trio of disgust.
Slumping against her bed, she spotted the aspirin and shoved them down her throat. Eating seemed like a wise thing to do but the nausea in her stomach disagreed and she couldn't help but side with her stomach. Looking at her clock, she still had five minutes to dwell and flinch from the appalling memories.
Figures she would remember mostly everything too. She was always lucky in that sense.
Tipping her head back, she stared at her spotted ceiling, the white speckled dots always mystifyingly hypnotizing. Forcing herself to think of nothing she picked out different images the dots made; a habit of hers since childhood.
She scowled as the dots formed Yukio's face, making her scream inside her throat and cover her face with her hands.
That was odd, why did her cheek sting slightly? She suddenly bolted forward, regretting it as her hangover retaliated with a big dull thump between the eyes. Forgetting about the pain, she stared incredulously at nothing while her mind envisioned Yukio whacking her across the face.
She fumed. What a bastard! And how pathetic of her to let something like that happen anyway – drunk or not, it was inexcusable. She silently vowed to herself that if she ever saw him again that he would be missing a couple things – a couple important things.
Then she remember Ino barging in and punching Yukio square in the jaw, triggering him to fall down before she even had the time to say 'deadbeat'. She reminded herself to thank Ino the next time she saw her.
Leisurely hoisting herself up, she stumbled downstairs then slipped her sandals on before heading outsideStill unable to stop remembering, she got lost in her thoughts of why he had smacked her. She didn't even remember walking down the streets of Konoha, through the park and field to the bridge of her meeting. Her feet steered her on autopilot while her mind lingered on detached. The sound of the water brought her eyes back to focus, where she saw three pairs of eyes boring into her underneath a dismal bleak sky.
As soon as she glimpsed at Kakashi she knew; the missing piece of the puzzle materializing out of no where to fit and complete the enigma. What a bad time to remember such a crucial part of the poser, leaving her no time to reflect and sort through her feelings. She would have to answer her question of 'why did I whisper out his name?' later.
"Naruto…Sasuke…what are you doing here?" Her voice was back to the normal blasé that they knew, and not the bumbling drunken idiot of last night.
She observed as blue eyes narrowed and strong fingers clench into fists, before he strode over to her in three thumping steps and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her till her teeth rattled.
"You promised me! You said you would be fine! How could you let him touch you like that?"
She saw his eyes water, and felt hers doing the same, although she refused to let them fall. She wasn't even surprised that he knew. He finally stopped shaking her, but his grip stayed strong on her shoulders. She bit her lip to concentrate on the pain and not the emotions Naruto's broken appearance produced.
"I'm sorry…"
The words seemed pathetic, since they were only words, so she wasn't shocked when he quickly removed his hands and turned his back on her, his face a mirror of disgust and fury. She accepted the snubbing of his actions, only because she deserved it – the loathing – the repulsion, since she felt exactly the same about herself as well.
Through tear-stained eyes, she watched as Sasuke indolently approached her, arms crossed and eyes cold.
"It isn't like you, Sakura," he said, face impassive, voice impressively firm.
Such simple words that held so much truth, but what was she like? What was the image she had imprinted in their minds? She wished they would tell her because she was feeling very lost in who she was anymore.
Sudden tears came unbidden, surprising her more than him. He was probably used to her being weak.
"Naruto, Sasuke. Leave."
Simple – direct – but unbelievably intimidating. If he had said her name as well, she would have been fleeing in the other direction by now, however Naruto simply ground his teeth and Sasuke simply narrowed his eyes with neither budging. She watched as Kakashi, posture stiff, strides purposeful, walk over and grab the scruff of each of their vests.
"Leave – I won't say it again."
With hard eyes, Naruto looked at Kakashi before glancing to Sakura then disappeared, Sasuke following shortly after.
She surveyed Kakashi visibly relax his tensed shoulders before looking at her, eyes full of steel and rime which he tried to hide under a layer of understanding. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before taking a couple steps forward to embrace the trembling kunoichi. His movements were stiff and uncertain, but it was an embrace nonetheless.
"Forgive them," he whispered blandly into her hair. "They're just upset; they know not how to deal. They're protective of you, you know." He felt her clasp his flak vest and bury her face in his chest. He stood there reticent, letting her cry and grip onto him for as long as she wanted, giving him time in turn to reflect.
She wondered transiently why he said 'they're' and not 'we're' – purposely excluding himself from the statement. It bothered her more than she was willing to admit. After a few minutes she let go, his vest crumpled and soaked, showing the comfort it provided.
"Come, I'll take you home," he quickly unwound his arms from around her only to see her shake her head fervently at him in response.
"No, I don't want to go home. I want to train – I'll be fine…I promise." She looked at him, lips forming a thin line of resolve but her eyes a maelstrom of emotions.
He sighed airily. "Sakura, I don't thi–"
"Please, don't send me home…"
He stared at her, brows frowning and lips pursed – the war in his mind trying to decide a victor.
"Come with me." He sounded displeased, but Sakura didn't care, she was just happy he had agreed.
They trudged through the field and forest, hearing the beginning of a light rain pattering against the leaves. Neither said a word. She followed him till he stopped in a clearing where a babbling brook sung at their feet. She looked at him questioningly.
"We're going to work on your speed," he exclaimed, picking up handfuls of tiny pebbles near the water. She nodded her head and watched him quietly.
He stared at her for a few seconds, making certain she was paying attention, then threw both hands up, sending dozens upon dozens of little tiny pebbles soaring through the air. She observed the rocks stopping momentarily before changing velocity to fall back down.
All of a sudden Kakashi was a blur of silent movement, and Sakura could only watch in captivation. After a few moments he suddenly stopped and presented both hands before her. She gawked, realizing he had caught every single one.
"Your turn."
"Eh? You don't expect me to be able to do that, do you?"
He only looked at her, and Sakura sensed he was in a no-nonsense manner today. She wondered if it was her fault.
Picking up her own handfuls of little stones, she looked at him briefly before sighing and tossing them in the air. She tried, he couldn't say otherwise, but that still didn't stop the rain of pebbles to come crashing down on her.
She growled in frustration when she opened her hands, seeing she only caught about ten. She looked at him dejectedly, but he failed to sympathize.
"Again."
Sighing she repeated the motion, only catching nine this time.
"I'm getting worse. How does this make sense?"
He walked away and sat down, leaning against a boulder before pulling out Icha Icha Paradise.
"Again."
She frowned, but obeyed.
An hour later she still found herself subjugated to tossing up stupid little stones only to have the majority of them fall and clink around her in a melody she was becoming to loathe.
"I'm tired of this sensei. Can't we do something else?"
He glanced at her over the top of his book for a brief second, then flipped another page.
"Again."
The urge to stomp her foot and whine was intense, but she settled for grinding her teeth and clenching her fists instead.
"You wanted to train, Sakura, so don't complain."
The glare she gave was wasted on him, as he ignored her and continued reading. Violently picking up the pesky little stones, she glowered at him one more time before throwing them in the air, a little harder than necessary this time.
Continuing this for another hour without a single grouse, or even a single word, she finally flopped down on the stony ground.
"Sensei I'm hungry and tired. Can't I take a break?"
He looked at her by his way of acknowledgement, before snapping open a pocket and pulling out a bar. He tossed it to her.
"Eat this then continue training." His tone was frigid like the air.
She caught the bar, her eyes quaking with pent up emotion. She should've known her team would've acted like the overprotective, domineering, machismo bastards, that she knew they could be – but the whole bloody situation just screamed hypocrisy. At fifteen, Naruto and Sasuke had their bouts of idiocy as well, and no doubt Kakashi, a man of almost thirty, had his moments of compunction also; so how was it that they felt they had a right to judge? They were in no position to turn their noses down on her while they played the role of preacher.
She glanced at his hard-set eyes. Was it ignorance or heartlessness that made him look at her like that?
"Why are you being such a jerk to me today?" she asked, trying to match his cool disdain. It never worked as well as she hoped for.
"I'm not. I'm simply instructing you," he said offhandedly, totally disregarding her to read his book.
Green eyes narrowed to slits. "Would you put that stupid book down and look at me!" She was yelling now, mad at herself for showing such emotion when she was determined to be strong
Lazily he tore his eyes from the pages and placed the book on his lap, sighing heavily. "What?"
He sounded annoyed – exasperated, as he looked at her expectantly for an answer, but she didn't have one; her voice and mind in standstill as she just looked at him unbelievingly.
"Why are you being like this?" God, she hated sounding so desperate.
"Either go home Sakura, or continue training," he said, tone bored, expression languid.
She couldn't believe it – couldn't believe the things he was saying and the way he was acting. She started laughing, the tone dry and artificial, causing her pent up tears to trickle down her face. She didn't even know why she was crying, didn't even feel upset enough to, and yet, she couldn't stop. Her arid mockery of a laugh continued, feeling as if she stepped into a Voltaire comedy starring her.
"Oh…this is good," she chuckled, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand before stumbling to her feet. Her laughing continued unbidden, adding a little headshake to complete the image.
Kakashi retained his reticent self, simply watching the girl and wishing she would leave.
"You know sensei," she said, her jovialness still bubbling in the background. "I never knew your humour to be so gauche." She stopped in front of him, feeling completely and utterly atypical, as if the part of her she had quelled for all those months was bursting through, seeping through the cracks and overflowing the dam in her mind. "I thought you were more tactful than that," she said heaving an exaggerated sigh as she crouched before him, her eyes still watering the whole time even though there was a smile on her face.
She looked at him pitifully. "You always were a liar sensei."
His eyes scarcely narrowed, but besides that, he remained apathetic. He always was phenomenal at controlling his emotions.
She crawled on the stony ground till she straddled his shins. "And now you're a hypocrite," she said flippantly, tone a matter of fact.
She saw from the corner of her eye, his hand hold his beloved book in a bone-crunching grip. "Enlighten me."
He was mad; she knew it, the knowledge bringing a twisted smile to her face with her tears long forgotten. She didn't know why the revelation was so sickly satisfying, and didn't bother questioning it either.
"I know you're a pathological liar, but for once, tell me honestly, that you have never even once messed around with a woman who you barely knew."
She waited patiently, giving him the time he needed to come to terms with the truth. "It was over ten years ago," he said, voice low, telling her it was dangerous to tread any further.
She ignored his warning. "Aa, but you have," she drawled, grin cheeky and cunning.
"You're sixteen Sakura."
She laughed; there was that no-nonsense tone again. "So? Ino is still only fifteen yet I don't see you going around reprimanding her."
"She isn't my responsibility," he said, losing his carefully constructed patience, the fact only egging Sakura on to chip more of it away.
She quirked a brow: a goofy grin in place. "And I am?"
His one visible eye creased. "You know you are."
She sighed, doing it more to bother him than out of necessity. "You know, you should really quit acting like my father. It's getting really old, and besides, you do a really shitty job of it anyway."
That got him tensing. "Maybe if you didn't act like such a child then I wouldn't be forced to act like your father figure."
Her sassy grin faltered before swiftly being replaced with a look not far from smug. "Funny, Yukio didn't seem to think I was such a child last night," she said with faux innocence, picking at her nails in a dismissive manner.
She had no idea why she said such a thing, especially since the guy disgusted her to no end, but for some queer reason, the urge to irk and rile Kakashi was so strong that everything else was shadowed in the background; even her normal tame self.
His legs stiffened, telling her that remembering and even referring to Yukio in terms of pleasure had been well worth it; he didn't need to know she was lying through her teeth.
"So you enjoyed it did you?" His words were clipped and strained.
She crawled further up him, resting her weight right above his knees. She was playing with fire, she knew, and loved every intoxicating, addicting, second of it. Regrets could be worried about later.
"I did; very much so," her grin turned impish. "What girl wouldn't love a handsome guy lavishing attention upon her?"
"Hn, and here I thought you were crying into me before was because you felt guilty and regretted your lack of morals and dignity."
His words stung, but she would be damned if she let him know. "Well, I didn't want you, Naruto, and Sasuke thinking I was a tramp," she smirked, placing her hands on his thighs, leaning forwards. "And besides, acting is always so much fun."
She was going too far, and she knew it. The anticipation of just waiting to get burnt by his wrath itched her skin and made her heart thump inside her ears.
Disappointing though, the anger she saw in his eyes started dissolving, and the tenseness in his muscles relaxed.
"So does that mean you're having fun now, Sakura?"
She watched him place his perverted book down next to them, then grasped her hips and pulled her forwards, trapping her there with his hands and raised knees.
That strange surge of confidence and haughtiness she felt before, started to rapidly withdraw, considering it wasn't in control of the situation any longer. She forced herself not to frown, not to push against his chest and demand what he was doing. This was a test, he was calling her bluff and she had to bluff back unless she lost the game.
His hands were still on her hips, holding her in place on his lap while she forced herself to smile at him with the appearance of self-assurance; although it was much more difficult now since her confidence had marooned her.
"And why would I be having fun?" she queried, trying to remain her sassy self, although she couldn't help but lean back a tad as he leaned forwards.
"Because, like you said, acting is always so much fun," he mocked.
She felt his thumb stroking her hip, daring her to continue this game. She fumed inside, hating how he saw through the façade in her demeanor. How did he gain control so quick so easy? He was supposed to scold her and possibly punish her, not to turn the tables and giver her a taste of her own medicine. It was just too…crafty, for her liking, and not only that, it was very abnormal as well. Kakashi was like the seasons; constant to a fault. So now not only did she have to consider her own schizophrenia, but his as well.
If she had been feeling rightfully normal, this was the part where she would become an absconder – too indolent to try and prove the arrogant man different. She wished her usual self would crawl back up to the surface, instead of cowering away in the depths of her mind, then she could happily declare he won this little power struggle without any remorse from giving up so easily, since that's who she was nowadays.
Like a female Shikamaru where things were just too troublesome to put an effort into (unless she was feeling rarely resolute that day). It was habitual now – giving up, and she never thought twice about it…till now.
Although her cool brazen self had mostly dissipated, it lingered enough to make her adamantly remain situated on his lap. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cowed before him. Thankfully with her mind made up, some of her previous boldness augmented as well; she would need it if she was competing against the infamous Copy-nin.
She could still feel the pad of his thumb caressing her hip through her shorts, telling her the game was still in affect and that it was her turn to make a move. Staring at him with cool green eyes, she lifted her hand to touch him as well, before it suddenly froze in mid air.
What was she supposed to do? He had a huge advantage over her. She had no experience with the opposite sex in terms of being sly or sexual. She didn't even know where to begin to touch him, of how to look at him, or what to say to him; but if she hesitated, he would know and the insult he said of her still being a child would only be proven true.
And that was what this was all about; her statement to him that although she wasn't an adult, she had still grown up and she was set in making him see that as well.
Though she wasn't looking into that frustratingly knowing eye of his, she knew he was examining her, probably seeing the inner conflict that was clashing in her mind's eye. He had told her a year ago that her eyes were very expressive; now she knew it hadn't been meant as a compliment.
So there she was, sitting on her sensei's lap in a not so innocent nature, with his hands on her in a not so innocent way, and her hand stationed in mid air, intent on touching him in a not so innocent manner.
Things were going to become awkward and tricky for sure, but not letting that fact deter her, she tentatively reached up and traced his jaw with a feather light touch from the tip of her index finger. His face was unreadable as he watched her, only adding onto her anxiety of 'is this what I'm supposed to do?'.
"So tell me," he started, tone oddly inquisitive, "what did you and this, Yukio, do?" The name left a rancid taste in his mouth, yet his demeanor remained stoic.
The fact that he wanted to know shocked her brain into overload, but then she realized this was all just a sick twisted game for dominance, and that he was going to use her inhibition against her; that tactful bastard.
She smiled in what she hoped for was wily, and chanted a mantra to herself that this was purely acting, nothing more, nothing less. "Wouldn't you like to know," she taunted.
She almost squealed when he shifted slightly, pushing her hips downwards to press against his own. She was almost shocked into a slight stupor by the boldness of his actions, but managed to keep her wits about her.
"Yes, that's why I asked."
She inwardly groaned; the man was always so bloody practical and calm in his answers. She paused deliberately, knowing it was her turn.
Summoning what remaining courage left, she compelled herself to lean into him more to extend her hand till her fingers played with the hairs on the back of his neck. It was surprisingly softer than what she had envisioned of a man who used to kill people for a living.
"How 'bout I let you use your imagination," she murmured, proud that she managed to lock eyes with his unaffected one. She wondered if he could feel her hand trembling.
His hand left her hip, only to glide from the small of her back and cup the back of her neck. She felt like a fool compared to his smooth and confident motions. He gradually forced her head forwards and rested her cheek against his clothed one.
"Tell me, Sakura." His voice rumbled inside her ear. Funny how the simple act of deepening his voice could cause intimidation, but then again, that's probably why he did it.
Forgetting momentarily this moronic struggle for power, she lightly shoved against him and pinned him with a glare.
"Or what, you'll use your Sharingan to ransack my mind again?"
"Hmm? It is an option."
She stared at him appalled. "You're barbaric!"
He shrugged.
"You know I'm really sick and tired of you thinking it's your prerogative to know everything about my life!"
He smirked. "What can I say, I'm a curious man."
Her eyes flared; the man was humoured by her anger, she could tell by the droll in his tone. "Well if you're so bloody curious about your students lives, why aren't you harassing Naruto and Sasuke as well?"
"They simply aren't interesting enough."
How could the last Uchiha and a teenage boy with a demon sealed inside of him, not be interesting?
"Or is it because they simply aren't female enough?" She countered.
His smirk grew wider. "That too."
She looked at him part confused, her other part still blazing away in righteous anger. "What the hell does being female have to do with it?"
"Hmm? You tell me."
She let out a purposeful 'ugh', irritated by his vagueness, before she pushed against him, rougher this time with the intent to stand up. His hands squeezed her hips in a threatening grip, refusing to let her go.
Dark green eyes glowered. "Let me go."
The graveness in her voice failed to perturb him. "Not yet."
"Then when!"
"When you tell me what it is I want to know."
She looked at him aghast. "You're such an ape!"
He simply smiled.
"Since you seem to be incapable of telling me, how 'bout you show me instead?" he challenged, the bluff of all bluffs. It seemed the ante had been raised while she wasn't paying attention.
Pausing, she analyzed the situation. If she followed through with the daft challenge it would only bring awkwardness and humiliation, probably only on her part, and he was most likely aware of this knowledge which resulted in this moronic test. But also if she faced up to the insinuated dare, he could no longer label her a child with him as a substitute father.
So swiftly, and refusing to put any thought into her actions before her morals and self respect kicked in, she snatched his right hand off her hip and plunked it down on the top of her thigh, dangerously close to her essentials which he had no right being near.
"There! You happy?"
He lifted an eyebrow. "Interesting…anywhere else?"
She shook with indignation. "No."
He sighed theatrically. "You do realize that lying is futile, don't you?"
Unable to come up with a witty comeback, she settled for glaring at him instead, her anger reaching its final cusp.
"Look, you win alright! I can't play this stupid game anymore! Go ahead and call me a child, I really don't give a damn!" Finishing her rant, she moved to stand up, anxious to go back home where the vociferous Sakura could be quelled and the lax Sakura could come out of hiding. She was almost eager to hear the somber hum of her refrigerator as well.
Unfortunately, the usual hell now dubbed nirvana would have to wait, as gloved hands refused to let her up.
"For the love of God, Kakashi you're insufferable!"
"Only because you're being uncooperative."
Having enough of his hedonistic ways, she did a series of quick hand seals and disappeared in a puff of pink flower petals.
She whizzed from tree branch to tree branch with her adrenaline still kicking in fifth gear, effectively blocking out any numbness she should've felt from the frosty moist air.
She glanced behind her for the briefest of seconds, wondering if that idiot of a man was going to bother following her or not. Surely if he really felt the need to stop her he wouldn't have let her perform the hand seals to begin with. No doubt he could've easily stopped her. Seemed kind of silly to allow her to do that and then chase her down for it afterwards.
With that logical thought, she slowed her pace, permitting herself to finally catch her breath after the peculiar event and the mad dash for escape.
After a few minutes the trees started to thin, telling her she was almost at the opening to the glade. Jumping down, her heart beat staccato as Kakashi was ten feet in front of her, leaning against a tree with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. In the back of her mind she knew she shouldn't have been shocked.
"Yo."
"Ugh," she threw her hands up in the air. "I thought I got rid of you!"
His eyebrow quirked; a mannerism she was really starting to hate. "You thought a few trivial flower petals could get rid of me?"
Her hackles rose. "Well I got this far didn't I? And I've managed to escape several shinobi with those, as you so eloquently put it, trivial flower petals!"
He pushed off the tree, leaning heavy on one leg with shoulders slouched in true Kakashi fashion. "I acknowledge it might have worked if it weren't for the flaw."
She frowned. "What flaw?" Before she could register what happened, she felt herself face first in a patch of soggy twigs and mud, with a firm grip holding her hand at a painfully awkward position against her back. She grimaced as his knee dug deeper into the small of her back as well. No doubt she would have a giant bruise in memorial of this day.
"That you're against me."
She snorted in spite of the situation, and tried to blow away some annoying wisps of cherry coloured hair that stuck to her face. "You'll get knocked down from your high horse eventually."
"Oh, I'm sure I will, but it won't be by you."
Why that cocky bastard!
Although it was true, he didn't need to say it in such a way, but then again, Kakashi was a man who never felt reservation about anything he said.
Trying not to let the truth semi-insult bother her, she started squirming, trying to find a gap or escape route from his hold.
"Let me go," she said, frustrated and bitter by the fact that she was wet, cold, uncomfortable, and practically eating mud.
"No."
She bristled and started to struggle. "Let go of me already. This game is getting old."
"Game? I don't remember saying this was a game."
"You're taking it too far."
"You left without my permission."
She noticed his usual jovialness had disappeared. "So, what of it? You expected me to sit there and let you act all machismo?"
"I expect you to be punished," he said, voice low, drawled, and full of promise.
She felt the burning pressure of his knee leave and rest on the other side of her, only to feel the oppressive weight of him fully straddling her backside instead.
Her eyes widened a tad before she made sure to keep her mien in check. "You've never given me punishment before. I doubt you even know how," she said, acting as if she had ignored the change in his placement, although warning bells and sirens were blaring inside her head.
She felt his weight shift and lean towards her before hearing him place the flat of his forearm against the ground millimeters from her head. The aroma of cinnamon and pine tickled her nose.
"Is that a challenge, Sakura?"
She felt the heat of his breath and the rumble of his voice, and suddenly felt very claustrophobic. She stirred a bit, uncomfortable with the awkward position, it reminding her too much of last night in a sense.
"Take it as you will," she whispered deadpan, while avoiding eye contact. She could still feel his hot breath against her ear, even through the barrier of his mask. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on the smell and feel of earth and rain, and not about the fact that his body was almost pressed forcibly against her own. The sky was still a bleak grey with the air chilly and still fairly misted after the recent downpour. The results were continuing to soak into the front of her clothes, which drastically contrasted with the feeling of Kakashi's warm body on her back. The outcome gave her goosebumps caused from the different sensations.
She flexed her hand a few times, attempting to relax her muscles before they cramped from the painful hold.
"I think I will," he drawled, warming the side of her face. She struggled, not liking the predicament or the position she was currently in. She was rewarded with a tighter grip on her wrist, and a new clasp grabbing fistfuls of her hair, successfully holding her in place.
Her heartbeat increased, pounding against the earth. This was going on too long. Being pinned to the ground with her captor hovering and pressing so near brought feelings of vulnerability and helplessness, aspects which she was sure he knew about. She trusted him with her life, but adrenaline and instinct were kicking into overdrive, telling her this might be dangerous and to get the hell out of there.
"Let go of me," she said, finding it all of a sudden very difficult to breathe. She felt his hand release her hair and tread through her locks till his fingers brushed against her cheek. She felt silly she couldn't control her laboured breathing.
"What are you so afraid of, Sakura?" he breathed, voice deep and slow while resting his mouth against her ear. "I can feel your heartbeat. It's erratic."
Under her fog of panic, she was sure there was some cruel smirk playing under his mask. He was enjoying this with reasons unknown to Sakura.
"Sensei, please let me go," she whispered, her fiery temperament a dry ash, as she felt his fingertips brush against her cheek again, before leisurely moving her hair behind her ear.
"You're terrified of me," he whispered knowingly into her ear. "Why?"
She blinked. "I don't know."
"So you admit it?"
"…yes."
She gasped as she was abruptly turned over and immediately started wrestling and flailing her limbs, trying to free herself while instinctively screaming.
She cried out under the clamp of his hand, somewhere between a whimper and a sob as she was forcibly pinned to the ground once again, with him straddling her hips and leering down on her. She closed her eyes and tried to turn her head away.
"Do you think I would hurt you, Sakura?"
She didn't respond, or couldn't since he was covering her mouth. He removed his hand, cupping her chin to make her turn her head.
"Open your eyes," he commanded. Hesitantly she obliged, but still avoided eye contact, looking anywhere beyond him. His hand left her chin and rose to lift his hitae, revealing his Sharingan.
"Look at me." When she didn't, he gripped her hair and tilted her head till their noses were a few inches apart, forcing her to look at his blood-coloured eye. He felt her pulse beat sporadically under his hand that fastened her wrists together, and watched her breath come in heavier spurts now. "Are you afraid of my Sharingan?"
She opened her mouth to say something, but found herself speechless. He had used the Sharingan on her twice; once without her knowledge, the other to delve into her mind. It was terrifying and fascinating all at once.
"Do you think I would use it to hurt you?"
She wanted to say no, but terror found her thinking yes.
"What do you think I would do to you?" he questioned, releasing the grip on her locks to run his index finger along her chilled cheek and the slope of her neck. "What are you imagining and picturing me doing?" he pressed, leaning more of his weight upon her, while leisurely running the same finger down the side of her body. "Are you petrified of me touching you?" he continued, drawing lazy circles around her hip bone. "Or…do you enjoy it?"
He felt her chest rise up and down in deep panicked breaths. Her dampened clothes were soaking into his own, and he could feel the iciness of her torso starting to dissipate as he nuzzled the patch of skin below her ear, his breath a furnace against her. "Is this how he touched you?" He felt her tense underneath him.
She turned her head to the side, squeezing her eyes shut as memories of Yukio's persistent hands, groping and fondling her resurfaced, making her feel unexplainably dirty once again.
She gulped down the sudden lump of emotion, only to feel it still lodged in her throat. Her voice was weak and frail when she spoke.
"…it was different."
She felt him lower the rest of his body on hers, engulfing her frame with his larger one before his masked mouth moved down the column of her throat. Her breath caught in her lungs, realizing she was firmly snared between the cool earth and his warm body. It was hard, immovable – an iron wall of muscle that had her gasping for breath.
"How?" He murmured, voice a deep bass against her body.
She tugged her hands against his own, knowing the attempt was futile but doing it all the same. "H-he was impatient and brash…"
She felt his feather-light touch turn several degrees bolder, as his finger continued the dance around her hip bone, sometimes drawing dangerously close to her pubic bone, before repeating the rhythm. Sakura held back a whimper, wanting to cry out at the humiliation of being so powerless against him. She wished she could've morphed into how small she felt.
He nestled the juncture between shoulder and neck, his voice shuddering inside her body. "Like this?"
She attempted to hide her broken expression in the side of her raised arm; squirming her body beneath his and hearing his breath hitch in turn.
"Yes," she suppurated, her voice muffled by her arm.
His hand stroked the top of her thigh, slow purposeful movements that had her struggling against him.
"Tell me where." His face was back to nuzzling behind her ear, breathing in her scent with slow hard pants.
She mewled, unable to stop the pitiable sound from escaping, and lightly shook her head in little jerks.
"Tell me," he demanded into the crook of her neck, only to feel the movements of her head shaking. Her refusal made him assume the worse, making his vision temporarily blur with a sudden uncommon white rage.
She turned her head to try and look at him with eyes a cacophony of emotions. "Please," she whispered, voice hoarse with desperation, trying not to let her panic show through too clearly. He wasn't himself, his actions were unrestrained and confounded, his usual lucid eye hazed with an emotion she couldn't decipher.
"Please?" he reiterated, terribly strained. "Please what?"
"Please stop…just stop."
And then before she knew it, he vanished; leaving her cold, wet, and terrifyingly confused.
So, how was that? I hope it doesn't seem OOC, but if it does, hopefully the next chapter will explain a bit why. Anyways, I liked this chapter, I had fun writing it – seeing a rare uncontrolled somewhat darker Kakashi, and poor Sakura losing her mind lol
So thanks for reading, and thanks for your guys encouraging reviews.
Eris