AN: (stabs chapter) Excuse the crappinesss of this chapter. It jumps around a lot from perspective to perspective which I didn't quite notice till afterwards and alas, I'm just too lazy at the moment to fix it (dodges rotten tomatoes and a watermelon) I know I know, bad Eris! One day I'll come back to edit it, but for now the crappiness shall remain!
Courage Needs You – Chapter #10
Sakura jumped at the sound of someone knocking on her door. She glanced at her clock, fluorescent green numbers telling her it was 11:03pm. The thought of it being Kakashi made her heart race and mouth dry. It wasn't that she was scared of him…it was just that she was confused. Tremendously confused! And maybe just a tad frightened as well.
The person knocked again, not loud, but firm. She sat on her bed contemplating on answering the door. It could be Ino or Tenten coming over for a friendly chat, or Naruto coming over to brag or whine about his newest mission. Maybe it was a messenger reporting about her parents. Whoever it was, she felt no desire to move. All she wanted was to just sit in bed with only solemnity and confusion to accompany her.
When the knocking stopped, she couldn't help but bury her face in her pillow and sigh in relief – glad that the mystery disrupter had left.
"What are you doing?"
She was pretty sure she jumped off her bed a good three feet from the sudden interruption. "God, Sasuke, you can't just come into someone's house like that."
He ignored her and walked into the room, sitting on her desk chair with a cavalier grace.
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Then why are you sitting in the dark with a death grip on your pillow?"
"Because I'm imagining it's you!" He smirked at her comment, which Sakura still managed to catch through the dark. "Anyway, why are you here?" She pushed back till she was leaning against the wall, facing Sasuke for manner's sake.
"Do I need a reason?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes. He said that last time she asked him. It was getting old real fast.
"Yes! This time you do need a reason," she said, her normal calm façade be damned, her frustration had reached its limit.
"I'm leaving on an escort mission with Neji and Naruto at 5:00am, and I'll be gone for a couple of days."
She grinned. "Poor Neji, he's going to have to put up with yours and Naruto's squabbling the whole way there."
He brushed off her comment like dust, and walked over to sit across from her on the bed. Sakura frowned and pushed herself a little harder against the wall. What was with people invading her personal space recently?
"How are you doing?"
She glanced at him annoyed, trying not to let his persistence infuriate her. "I'm fine, Sasuke."
She watched him avert his gaze to stare out her window. "I want to apologize for this morning. My behaviour was inappropriate," he turned back to look at her, eyes dark and serious. "Naruto wants you to know he's sorry as well."
Her mien turned doubtful. "Truthfully?"
"No. The truth is Naruto is still mad as hell and refuses to leave his bedroom," his eyes went back to regard her, guise an unreadable frost that gave her frostbite from its unending winter. "And I'm not exactly content with you either."
Hands clamped down on her pillow, letting loose her fury from its cage. "What right do you have judging me, acting as if you've never done the same. You're a goddamn hypocrite Sasuke!"
He stayed unaffected as usual. "Maybe so, but at least I'm a hypocrite who can defend himself."
Her back stiffened, and she made sure she was still gripping her pillow incase she felt the tempting need to just sock him one. "Just what are you implying?"
He sat there coolly, like the chilly iceberg that he was. "Nothing. Just that if things had managed to escalate further, you probably would've been unable to stop him."
She tried not to let his impression of her sting – tried but failed miserably. "I would've been fine! He wasn't even a ninja for god's sake!" It surprisingly felt really damn good to yell at him, and she mused if such a thing had ever happened before.
"You were inebriated."
Her face darkened even further, daring him to continue his verbal attack. "Drunk or not, he would've been no match for me – unless you think so little of me that you would think otherwise."
She shouldn't have asked such a thing, especially when she wasn't prepared for a truthful answer, but he remained silent, his reticent countenance speaking louder than any words. Her face twisted sourly.
"You do don't you!" On reflex she threw her pillow at him, stunned by her actions for only a blinding second before the flare in her eyes returned. "Get out!" She pointed towards her door for emphasis.
Unexpectedly, he smiled at her, the corners of his mouth tugging up ever so slightly. Sakura knew that was the closest thing to a Cheshire grin Sasuke was capable of.
"What the hell are you smiling at?" This wasn't the time for him to be humoured.
"It's nice to see you like this."
"What the…" she faltered, then quickly scowled again. "What the hell is so nice about seeing me angry?"
He placed her pillow beside him placidly, and lightly shook his head. Sasuke always seemed to do the barest minimum of movements and gestures to effectively get his point across – almost as if he tried to conserve as much energy as possible incase of an unforeseen attack. She briefly wondered how much more energy she exerted in being flamboyant.
"Not you being angry but the spirit behind your anger. I haven't seen you this strident in a long time. It's nice to see it again."
Much to her annoyance, her well-founded anger started crumbling. It was just too hard to remain mad at him when he was giving her that Sasuke-like grin – it didn't help that he was freakishly handsome as well.
"Ugh, whatever," she huffed, crossing her arms, trying her damnedest not to smile especially when she should've been mad at him still.
"So tell me, what is it that brought this on?"
She spared him a sideways glance. "You being an ass like usual!" And briefly pondered how long she could get away with insulting him – if he didn't stop it soon, she could see it giving birth to habit.
"If it's usual like you say, then you should be accustomed to it by now."
She inwardly seethed. She despised being outsmarted, particularly when it was her own statement used against her.
"So what else is bothering you?"
If she were a rabid animal she would've been growling in aggravation right about now. He just couldn't help it – an inborn talent really – that is, being relentless to a fault. "I'm fine! It's just that training with Kakashi is a little…frustrating." Frustrating…was that a good work to describe it? Awkward, nerve-wracking, and daunting seemed like better words – but Sasuke didn't need to know that
"You seem to be really worked up over something so minimal then."
"So sue me, I'm frustrated! Anyway, why do you care so much?"
He gave her a crooked smile. "Who said I cared?"
She rolled her eyes so far back that she was positive she could see herself thinking. "Sorry, I assumed that you cared since you persisted in asking me what was wrong."
"Assumptions can be dangerous."
God, he was just as frustrating as Kakashi! "So what, did you lose some sort of bet?"
"What?"
"A bet! You know where you make an agreement thinking you know the outcome with the loser forfeiting something in response."
She watched his eyes narrow, and she cursed her big mouth.
"I know what a bet is. Why do you ask?"
"Because, since you obviously don't care about me, I've been trying to think of why you've been coming over to my house since you never do, and I concluded that maybe you lost some horrible bet where you have to spend time with me or something."
She heard him 'hn' at her – the closest thing to a laugh from Sasuke. "You have an active imagination, Sakura. And even if I had participated in some moronic bet, do you honestly think I would lose?"
She didn't bother replying to his statement, letting the silence rest comfortably as she snatched her pillow back and rested the side of her face against it, staring out the window in deliberation. Sasuke could practically feel the mood in the room shift a good 180°.
"Ne, Sasuke, how do you deal with being alone? I mean, you live by yourself right? Don't you get lonely?"
He stared at her in consideration. "No."
"Oh…" So much for positive reassurance.
"Are you telling me you're lonely, Sakura?" His tone was bland, making it seem like he was asking about the weather and not the weight of her feelings.
She shrugged. "I guess a little bit, but it's probably just because my parents are gone. I'm sure the feeling will go away once they come back tomorrow," she lied, giving him an uplifting grin.
He gave a curt nod of his head. "I better get going. Will you be okay?"
"Yes." No.
And then, with eyes the size of little full moons, she watched him tuck a piece of stray pink hair behind her ear.
"I'll see you in a couple of days."
And then, he was gone.
Sighing, she compelled herself not to think about Sasuke's actions or words, and lay there unmoving for several minutes, even after she heard the soft click of her front door closing. Finally shifting, she glanced at her picture of team seven instead. Things were simpler back then, she thought, eyes wondering over and lingering on Kakashi unbidden.
What was she going to do tomorrow? The question gnawed at her ruthlessly; chewing and chomping and spitting out worry.
She deliberated the option of pretending like nothing had happened, then mentally shook her head no. Kakashi had the uncanny ability to be able to sniff out a lie within a five mile radius, and unfortunately for Sakura, she had never mastered the art of acting. The whole situation was beyond frustrating. For an evanescent moment, she almost wished Sasuke's infuriating presence was back, just so he could distract her from analyzing today's events.
Honestly, who wanted to examine why their own father figure attacked them? Suddenly she paused in thought, brows furrowed in consideration.
Kakashi certainly thought he represented a father figure of sorts, but did she? An immediate comparison of the two commenced. For one, she didn't go around sniffing her father's clothes then blush like a little school-girl at the realization. Two, she didn't moan out her fathers name when another boy was touching her. And three…did she even need a three? One and two seemed plenty enough for her to digest for the time being, letting it slowly sink in as to not shock the hell out of her conscience.
Turning over, she snuggled her pillow in fetal position, unable to stop mulling over Kakashi and his actions. She felt afflicted that he would've done such a thing, especially since he knew the troubles she was going through (her budding depression, as he had so blatantly dubbed it) – she thought maybe he would have been the only one to understand – to be her silent pillar of support – quiet yet strong with the reassurance of just being there.
But he hadn't…he had wanted to know, resolute in his sick interest, using every expedient the dark recesses of his mind called forth; the total converse of what she had anticipated.
Her body suddenly heated, remembering the feeling of his weight surrounding her; the feeling of his hands skirting across her; the puffs of his breath warming her face. It had all been so terrifyingly intimate – so terrifyingly real. She felt as if a part of her had matured ten years in those encroaching ten minutes.
Thinking back she suddenly cringed with embarrassment when she thought she could've rivaled him in maturity – to be able to match him in the dominance for power. She had had no idea the boldness and intimidation the man was capable of – at least not in the terms of intimacy. He must've been howling with laughter on the inside by her efforts.
What had made her stay there and play that daft game to begin with? She should've just left and curbed her temper, instead of purposefully provoking him like she had. It was just so enormously atypical of the Sakura of today – the docile, meek, placid pink-haired kunoichi who was just so utterly blasé that it made herself even sick at how much she had turned into a lifeless marionette.
But she supposed even puppets had their breaking point, and hers had been today; snapping her strings and causing her to fall and crack open the dam in her mind which overflowed with an unexpected tsunami that Kakashi had created; the Sakura of four years prior bursting forth with boisterous confidence in return. Out of the pair, she was pretty positive she was the one more shocked; her mind still buzzing with questions as to how her hidden Sakura had escaped and surfaced.
She had to resentfully admit and praise him though, for he was the only one who had managed to make her break like that in a year. Maybe it had been a long time coming…
Closing her eyes, she suddenly felt inexplicably drained. All this thinking and contemplating, not to mention the time and day's events, left her feeling feeble and exhausted. If she had the energy she might've screamed, or maybe cried; she wasn't quite sure.
There were just too many emotions swimming around, making it nigh to impossible to pick one out and concentrate on it, so she did the simplistic thing by gathering them all up before hauling it off to the cliffs edge in her mind, then gave it one swift kick and sent it tumbling downwards where it could be forgotten.
And then, there was bliss.
It was slightly perplexing yet peaceful to lay down feeling absolutely nothing. She decided being numb really wasn't all that bad, maybe even something she could get used to. It was certainly better than feeling what she had been. Who said she wanted to feel alive anyway? It was just another thing in the world that was highly overrated.
He heard her before he saw her. Soft, reluctant footsteps treaded across the bridge till they stopped a good ten feet away from him. He decided then that actions truly did speak louder than words.
Eyes directed heavenward, he noticed the weather seemed to reflect the atmosphere perfectly; with a misty fog and a crispness in the air that was familiar during the rainy season of early June. He couldn't even see the sky.
Hopping off the rail with a cat-like grace, he watched her; the apprehension she felt visible to his eyes as she compelled her self to refrain from fidgeting.He noticed her usually expressive green eyes were blank and dull as they surveyed him hesitantly. If the situation weren't so awkward or dire, he would have commented on her improvement in veiling her emotions.
"Forgive me, Sakura."
It wasn't a lot, but it was enough. She would know the depth of his apology. He watched uncertainly; her impassive face remaining calm before giving him the briefest of nods. Agitated, he felt there was more he should say as silence droned irritably. Was she refusing to speak to him now?
"Sakura," he started, slightly reluctant in continuing his sentence, "if you do not wish for my tutelage anymore, I will speak to Hokage about assigning you a new mentor, that is, if you even want a mentor at all."
There, he had said it. He had grudgingly given her a choice where his opinion would be of no significance, much to his chagrin and frustration.
"Sensei," she said, just loud enough for him to hear, her cadence wavering with indecision. "I'm not mad at you, and I don't hate you, if that's what you're thinking." She paused. "I'm just…confused."
He nodded, unsurprised by her confession of being perplexed and prepared himself for the inevitable question of 'why'. But what would his response be? Be candid and scare the girl away, or lie and save her befuddled mind from more confusion? He watched her hug herself; thin pale arms prickling with goosebumps as a chilly breeze caressed her skin; blossoming an urge on his part to insist she wear her chuunin vest, which she always tenaciously refused.
One day he hoped she would tell him why.
"I…did you do it just to punish me?" Her words were soft as she spoke them towards the ground, still too uncertain about herself and what she wanted to enable her to face him.
Seconds stretched on by, the silence biting into her mettle and making her second guess her decision in having had asked him.
"Yes…and no," he sighed, long and irritated.
His enigmatic answer made her pry her eyes away from the bridge where she spared him a tentative glance. She knew without a doubt he could read her telepathic message of 'what does that mean?', and now it was just a matter of time as she waited for him to elaborate, as difficult as that may be. Impatience was her enemy right now she knew, and the unusual stiffness in his posture and the knitting of his brows, made her reluctantly hold her tongue. He was trapped within a slow methodical deliberation – his inner struggle not only visible, but worrisome as well. She had never seen such intense contemplation in the black depth of his eye before – it always remaining in correlation to an obscured fathomless pit.
What could he possibly be thinking about that was so powerful he couldn't contain his insipid persona?
She heard him sigh again airily, one gloved hand running through his hair as he finally pinned her with an indecipherable look.
"I was upset with you."
"Oh…" and she toed the ground uncertain. "I'm sorry…" She wasn't sure apologizing was the right thing to do since she wasn't sure what she had done to upset him – it was more visceral than anything. She hoped he would elaborate again since her voice was growing tighter and dryer by the second – the confrontation taking its toll on her nerves.
"Sakura," he started, the sound more exasperated and tired than she cared for, "just don't apologize, alright."
Usually when someone told you not to apologize, it would lift a weight from your soul, knowing that that person felt you did nothing wrong – but with the way he said her name – so weary and intolerant – cut something deep within her psyche that she was incapable of explaining.
"I was disappointed when I heard what you had done with this, Yukio," he went on, the name leaving a bitter sour taste in his mouth – something strangely akin to bile.
She lightly nodded, eyes still glued to the ground while her chest constricted painfully – that hateful thorny vine slithering around and shredding her lungs pitilessly. She tried not to wince and rationalized why his disappointment in her was so upsetting instead.
Swallowing, she willed her voice to loosen and took in a couple shaky deep breaths. "Is that why you tried to send me home?"
A pause and, "yes."
"Is that why you were acting so cruel during training?"
"…yes."
"Is that why you said you wanted to punish me?"
"Yes."
She nodded again, letting him know she understood and closed her eyes, forcing her feet to stay planted on the wooden bridge as the urge to flee was intense. He must've seen her back up a few inches and the indecision in her downcast eyes, because he strode over to her in quick deliberate steps and firmly grabbed her shoulders. Her head snapped up to look at him, seeing his countenance intense with turmoil and searching her face for something she didn't know.
"You don't understand." He sounded desperate and strained all of a sudden, making her stiffen in confusion and panic as his fingers gripped her tighter. "I hated the fact that some disgusting pubescent boy had touched you; despised the fact that you told me you enjoyed it; restrained myself before I went out and confronted him with the result only ending in regret." His expression was tight and impatient, anxious to make her realize the words he couldn't bring himself to say. "Don't you understand?" he whispered.
Her mind was racing, her heart knowing she was missing something important but too afraid to let her see.
He grit his teeth, frustrated by her silence. The girl was brilliant, but also surprisingly naïve as well.
"I never want anyone to touch you like that," he continued sternly before his voice grew quiet, silence passing – stretching – expanding, and then; "…not unless it's me."
Then like a switch, her brain suddenly flickered on, her heart racing and thumping so loud that it sounded like a drum in her ears. Her mind was storming out of control, but her body was apparently alert as her mouth turned desert dry when he took a step forward, bringing them unnecessarily close while loosening his painful grip on her slim shoulders.
"Is that what you want as well, Sakura?"
"I…uh…um…" She could only stare at him shell-shocked, her brain going into overload by the stunning confession. Everything seemed to be happening too quick too fast, making her head swirl and eyes blur. Is this what she wanted? Is that why she had mewled out his name that night? Felt more hurt and dismayed by his anger and disappointment than anybody else?
"I don't understand though," she started, eyes focusing on his flak vest, "you were acting like you hated me yesterday…"
She could hear a slight vibrating growl in the base his throat; a suppression of his aggravation. "I was angry and confused," he clarified, wishing she weren't so perplexed because detailing his emotions was never one of his strong suits, nor something he was comfortable with. "And I didn't realize till later that it was because I was…"
The trailing of his sentence made her glance at him briefly, scared of what she might see but needing to know all the same. She had never seen him so hesitant before.
"I was jealous, Sakura," he forced out indifferently, his one eye expressing more than his voice ever could. The reluctance in his reply made her wonder if the man had ever been jealous in his entire life. "And I'm asking you; does that make you happy?"
Happy…something she hadn't felt in ages; something she wasn't certain as to what it was anymore. Her hands wrung her shirt; eyes creased in thought as she willed her mind to come to a conclusion; each passing second only making the pressure to answer him that much more intense, knowing it wasn't fair to leave him teetering on the edge like this.
"…I'm not sure," she answered honestly, lost and confounded and hating her indecisive mind.
She could barely see him nod from underneath her lashes, worry lacing up her spine if she had ruined an opportunity before it begun.
"I understand, you don't need to answer me now," he said, causing threads of guilt to wrap around her heart – remorseful because of his tolerance and consideration.
Had that been the right thing to say? Is that how she truly felt? She wasn't quite sure but it was too late to take it back and rethink now. And then, with wide nervous eyes she saw his hand rise to cup her face, stroking her flushed cheek with his rough thumb.
"Is this allowed?" he asked, tone intense and deep, making her gulp imperceptibly. She ruminated why he was asking for her permission to touch her now when he certainly hadn't felt any reservation yesterday – but then again, maybe that was why.
"Yes…"
Her skin tingled from the loss of warmth as he removed his gloved hand only to slide the back of it up and down the curve of her neck. She held her breath, uncertain of what she should do as she felt him inching slowly southward, sneaking to the side of her V-cut shirt and the mesh underneath; playing with the cloth in between his fingers.
"How about this? Is this alright?" he breathed somewhat heavily, forcing himself to keep control in mind and body while his fingers burned to do more.
The possibility of this being too brash encroached his mind, especially when she hadn't reciprocated his sentiments, but even though his mind was reprimanding his actions, his fingers steadfastly remained. Dipping his head lower to rest his forehead against her own, he exhaled his bated breath as he felt her timidly nod. He didn't know what he would have said or done if she had said no. Rejection and humiliation were foreign to a man such as him.
And so, closing his eyes, he gradually slid his hand further underneath the crimson cloth and mesh shirt, instantly feeling cool smooth skin below his callused fingertips with the word taboo ringing in his ears. He traced her clavicle with feather light touches, concentrating on how it would rise and dip and create beautiful crevices.
"And this?"
The rough pads of his fingers were startlingly warm, making a chill creep through her body that the weather was incapable of causing. It was so much more different from the icy trace of Yukio's fingers, the feeling still imprinted in her mind.
"…yes."
She wondered if he could feel her thundering heart, swelled with a nervous excitement that only his present actions could cause. It was addicting in an anxiety-ridden sense that made her feel reluctant for it to stop.
Hazy emeralds fluttered shut, focusing on the warmth of his nearness and the tenseness in his hand. Languorously, another gloved hand rose to sweep across her shoulder and cup the side of her neck, letting long adroit fingers thread into long soft strands of bubblegum hair.
Without thought, Sakura reached up and delicately grasped his wrist, the pausing of his actions relaying his confusion as to whether she was going to pull his hand away or not. After a few moments, her grip continued its stationary rest on his arm, neither encouraging nor discouraging his movements in anyway, and so, his fingers crept a few inches more southward, testing her reaction to see how intimate she would allow them to become.
Indecision: it was plaguing and corroding his logical senses: the want to touch more, the need to at least touch, and the wantonness of having touched her at all, and when she sucked in an instinctive breath, her hand still grasping his wrist with uncertainty, he knew she was still contemplating the pros and cons, the facts and outcomes, her want and ethics; he knew it, and accepted it, since he was feeling precisely the same. Their situation was delicate. One wrong move or misspoken word could be their ruin. Time was something he had no problem in granting her, as long as she offered him the same in return.
It was all just so frighteningly new; happening so quickly that he was having difficulties keeping his bearings in check and his hand at bay. His feelings; their situation; everything about Sakura was a disturbing mockery of who he was – of who he thought he was.
How did things become so complicated so personal so quick? His mind was still trying to wrap around the idea that she was letting him resume his leisure exploration, even though she still had yet to give him a verbal response.
Could he continue without that nasty bite of regret?
Why hadn't he planned and thought this through instead of being uncharacteristically impulsive? He didn't intend for this to happen – hadn't planned on telling her his taboo notions that had been haunting him as of late, the notion that hadn't actually formed a logical explanation till last night when he was lying in bed, remembering the heat, the smell, the feel of her tiny frame beneath his.
Everything had been spontaneous, rebelliously going against his better judgment. He wasn't even certain what he felt for the girl, just knowing that whatever it was it wasn't wholesome and drove him crazy.
Last night he had been going over words of apology, trying to figure out way's in which their 'relationship' could be salvaged; even if it was just a student teacher one. He had tossed and turned, fretting about the possibility that he had exacerbated the darkness inside of her; had killed the security, the comfort, the assurance she felt whenever in his presence.
He was so mind warped by his wrong doings that he hadn't let himself stray and ponder the possibilities that she might've felt the same. If she had been nursing a growing affection him, he was pretty positive that it had been effectively squashed due to his deranged stunt of last night.
And yet, here he was, and here they were…doing something fantastically wrong and yet terribly right.
Abruptly, she watched his eye snap open before quickly retracting his hand and jumping back a good five feet. She wasn't sure if she should have been angry, confused, or humiliated. She viewed him blinking a few times in succession, clearing his eye from the cloud of emotion that had been there moments before.
"Sakura-chaaaaan!"
Whipping around, she saw the unmistakable figure of Naruto charging towards the bridge through the fog. His bright orange pants standing out remarkably in the mist, with Sasuke leisurely walking a few feet behind; his black baggy shorts, shirt, and typical vest, blending into the dismal surrounding. She was suddenly thankful her sensei was so perceptive and pulled back before any chaos could ensue. She refused to think of what her teammate's reactions would be if they saw Kakashi's hand exploring underneath her shirt.
"Naruto! Sasuke! W-what are you doing here?" she said more surprised than pleased.
"Hehe, well the commissioners of the Hidden Cloud Village are being delayed another week because of the weather, so we didn't need to escort them to the border. Hey, why is your face so flushed?"
"Huh? It is?" she quickly felt her cheeks with her cool hands and indeed they were flushed, much to her chagrin. "Ohh…it's because I had to run here since I woke up late this morning," she grinned sheepishly, exercising her pathetic acting skills.
Maybe it was better that they had interrupted, she thought, knowing she could sort and categorize her feelings into something that resembled sense now, a process she was incapable of accomplishing when he had been touching her in such a way – not that she had been resisting.
"What, sensei beat you here? No way!"
"Naruto, you're too loud for the morning," Sasuke glowered, brushing past him. Naruto rolled his eyes in response before turning back to Sakura.
"Too bad the weather is so crappy eh, Sakura? I was hoping for a nice day to spend with you."
It seemed Naruto had forgiven her for her little liaison with Yukio – that or he was extraordinary at hiding his genuine emotions. She wondered if he would also forgive her for what she had just done minutes before with Kakashi, then logic, common sense, and intuitiveness kicked into gear and blared a startling 'no' inside her head. Mentally berating herself, she compelled herself to rationalize that he didn't know what had just transpired, and that she should simply be satisfied he wasn't mad at her anymore instead.
And so, not wanting him to know how attached and content his absolution had made her, she chewed back a maddening grin and put up the façade she would normally wear in front of Naruto.
"Baaaka! It's the rainy season. It gets like this every year and you're telling me you expected a nice day?"
He gave her his fox like grin and scratched the back of his head guiltily, then walked towards Kakashi, incase she decided to hit him for good measure. Sakura tended to be sporadic in that sense, or at least she used to be.
"Ne! Ne! Can you teach me some cool new NinJutsu's today Kaka-sensei?"
"Now, now, I told you and Sasuke that I'm busy training Sakura for the time being. Why don't you go to Tsunade-sama and she'll probably give you a replacement mission." He watched his student scowl at him and snuck a glance at Sakura who was surreptitiously fidgeting with her shirt. Maybe he should have been relieved by his student's sudden appearance before things went too far too quick with Sakura, but still, he felt agitated and disappointed all the same.
"I'm tired of these low class missions she's giving us. I'd rather train with you!"
"Ma, Sasuke, why don't you convince Naruto to go with you to Hokage?"
Sasuke smirked, causing Kakashi to frown. "Sorry sensei, but I have to agree with Naruto on this one. Anyway, since it is the rainy season, missions are slow so there are plenty of available shinobi Tsunade-sama can call upon."
Kakashi found himself irritated by his student's sensible reasoning.
"Since when do you ever agree with Naruto?" Sakura blurted out, and Kakashi watched indecipherable black eyes turn on her in what he could only guess as an inquisitive look.
"Are you saying you want us to go? I thought you would have been happy to have us here since you said being near Kakashi-sensei was frustrating. Maybe it can be bearable now."
The corner's of his mouth tugged into a grin when she brimmed with indignation. "Sasuke, I never said being near him was frustrating, I said the training was frustrating, not him!" She promptly looked towards Kakashi, trying to gauge his reaction as he leaned against the rail with flat indifference. Turning back, she fixed a death glare on Sasuke. Why would he distort her words? Or was it unintentional? No, she mentally shook her head. Everything Sasuke said and did had a meaning or purpose behind it. He was cagey that way.
"Sorry, I guess I misunderstood," he said through half a smirk, Sakura scowling in response with the knowledge that he wasn't sorry at all.
Turning back towards Kakashi, she was still unable to shake off her worry. So what if he might not believe her, it wasn't a big deal right? She snapped out of her musing when black invaded her vision, accompanied by a grin bordering on smugness.
"Would you like to spar with me, Sakura? I'm interested in seeing how effective sensei's training program has been."
Looking into cold set eyes, she nodded reluctantly, too mind-weary to argue.
"Oh, I see how it is Sasuke," came Naruto's condescending proclamation. "You can't beat me so you're picking on poor Sakura. Don't worry Sakura-chan, I won't let this bastard hurt you."
She didn't even bother resisting the urge to slap her forehead before walking away towards their usual training field. Somewhere deep down in the pits of her soul she appreciated Naruto's protectiveness, but when she wasn't feeling appreciative, annoyance usually took its place.
Kakashi followed last, behind a miffed Naruto and an eager Sasuke. He mulled over thoughts and conversations, paying little mind to the sparring session between his two students. He wasn't sure why, but he got the distinct impression that Sasuke had meant to cause a little tiff between him and Sakura. The knowledge was as grim as it was amusing.
"I admit, you've improved, Sakura," Sasuke said, Sakura giving him a lopsided grin in return, letting the compliment inflate her ego. "You're defense is better, and you're noticeably faster. Impressive after only one week of training." He visibly looked her over, before turning his attention to Kakashi, then back to her. "Mind you it's only a minuscule improvement. But improvement is improvement."
Sakura looked at him questioningly, not knowing whether to take it as an insult or a compliment in the end.
"That's right! KICK HIS ASS, SAKURA!" Naruto hollered behind a mad like grin. Sakura gave a thumbs-up to her one-man cheerleading squad before barely blocking a kick delivered from Sasuke.
"You're too easily distracted," he said disdainfully. "Next time you look away from me you'll have a bruise to commemorate your mistake."
God, he's an arrogant ass sometimes.
But nevertheless, she knew he was a man of his word, and she grudgingly accepted that it would only be in her best interest not to take his threat idly. And that was as far as she could take her train of thought as he charged at her relentlessly, putting up a rather fierce onslaught that she was having difficulties blocking. To say he was overenthusiastic about this whole sparring session would've been an understatement.
Kakashi watched in a mixture of apprehension and restlessness. Apprehension because Sasuke was being more resilient than usual; and restlessness because he was hoping against the odds that Sakura would, as Naruto so frankly put it; kick his ass. Not that he wanted harm to come to his student, just that he wanted others to see that she wasn't some low-of-the-mill kunoichi who cowered and whimpered in the face of violence. She was better than what they thought of her, and he just hoped one day they would open up their eyes to see that as well.
Sakura suddenly gave an unladylike 'oomph', as the brunt of Sasuke's knee connected with her abdomen, making her instinctively fall to her knees where she clutched her throbbing stomach. She winced, partly in shock but mostly in aggravation, as her wrists were gripped and locked behind her back. She was seriously considering wearing spiked bracelets in the future to prevent this.
"Surprise, surprise; the famous Uchiha won again," she sneered, unable to hold back. "Does it feel good dominating those weaker than you? Does it make you feel like a true man?" She had no idea why she was saying such things, that is, until the warm flow of sick satisfaction tingled her senses. She smiled through a wince as he grasped her wrists tighter. Obviously she hit a nerve.
"All right Sasuke, you won so let her go," Kakashi said blandly exasperated and unconsciously overprotective inside. He watched his dark-haired student level him with an icy glare before he gave Sakura one last threatening squeeze and released her. He held in a frown as Sakura instinctively rubbed at her sore wrists, an unhealthy red ring circling around the flesh.
"Come on Sasuke, it's my turn now!" Naruto jumped in front of the prodigy, stance ready and grin cheeky.
Sasuke gave him a once over and cocked a brow. "Not interested," and he strode by him, only to stand before the bored jounin. "I'm interested in a match against you, sensei."
"Ohh?" Kakashi's eye widened a tad, semi fascinated by Sasuke's challenge. This was definitely different from the stone-cold Uchiha. "What kind of match?"
He gave his usual 'hn' and crossed his arms. "You know what kind of match."
"Indeed…"
Naruto, shaking out of his stupor from being so easily shelved, charged forward and gave Sasuke one nice jab in the shoulder. "Sasuke-bastard, you think you can dismiss me so easily?"
Sasuke scowled but held back from retaliating. "Get lost Naruto. I'm not interested in fighting you today," he turned back to eye Kakashi. "I want to fight him."
What on earth was going on? Sakura brushed herself off and walked up to Naruto, slinging her arm in his and pulling him back. Sasuke seemed fixed on this fight, bewildering Sakura to no end. Naruto seemed to tantamount her befuddlement as well, but strangely enough Kakashi didn't seemed surprised at all – almost seemingly eager by the smirk under his mask and the glint in his eye.
Had something happened when she blinked?
She watched him push off the tree he had been lazing against, thrusting his hands into his pockets where he then took a couple steps forward towards the zealous chuunin.
"Any rules?"
Slyness crept onto Sasuke's lips. "Whoever draws first blood, wins."
"What!" Sakura's outcry was ignored by all three, as Kakashi nodded in acquiescence.
"I accept."
She was in that damned twilight zone again, for this was just way too bizarre for it to be reality. If it wasn't for her body slightly trembling from the cold, she might've thought she was dreaming. Where did this hidden animosity come from?
She tugged on Naruto's sleeve, watching as silver and black walked a couple dozen feet away. "What's going on? Why does it seem like they hate each other?" she whispered up to him, unable to keep her eyes off the dangerous duo.
She felt him shrug. "Got me, Sasuke's just a bastard like that," he said casually, "but I'm surprised Kakashi accepted."
He wasn't the only one.
Subconsciously she clutched onto Naruto's arm, watching as they each pulled out a kunai. It was odd seeing her old love and…new? No, she mentally shook her head; things were still too confusing, fresh and far away to put a label on it. And besides, she hadn't even given him an answer.
Yet it was still strange to see Kakashi and Sasuke sparring off against each other with such an ominous air. It might have been almost romantic if the stakes had been her…but fortunately (or unfortunately, she wasn't quite sure yet) it wasn't. They were fighting because…because of what? To see who was the strongest alpha male? To prove they were even more machismo than she anticipated?
She sucked in a terrified breath as Sasuke rushed forward; kunai's clashing against each other and making her ears ring. They looked like sudden blurs of movement, her eyes watering as she refused to blink. After a few seconds of complicated and unprecedented TaiJutsu moves, Sasuke managed to swipe to the side, cutting into the edge of Kakashi's vest before splitting a log in half.
Sakura's teeth clenched in fright, imagining what would have happened to Kakashi if he hadn't used Kawarimi no Jutsu; literally, he would have been half the man he used to be.
Kakashi suddenly appeared behind Sasuke, arm wrapped around his neck in a sleeper hold, while he thrust the tip of his kunai right above Sasuke's kidney. Sakura started breathing again once she saw Sasuke turn into a gust of leaves.
God, they were both just being so…violent! Was it absolutely necessary?
Why do men have to be so bloody dumb?
She sighed, her heart thumping double time, then peeked at Naruto who was being unusually quiet.
"Something wrong?"
He shook his head, eyes glued to the eccentric males. "Just paying attention. Trying to find a weakness in Sasuke's technique."
She couldn't help but marvel at the blond, astonishment obvious like a fountain in the desert. Since when did Naruto turn perceptive? She switched back to watch her comrades and their idiotic battle, part of her nervously excited while the other part recoiled in fear. She knew Kakashi would win; he was a jounin where Sasuke was only a chuunin, but still…she knew despite his level status that Sasuke could be unbelievably dangerous when he wanted to be; no doubt Kakashi must be holding back as well – he wouldn't go full tilt on his own disciple would he?
"Ugh, they're so barbaric," she huffed, feeling an inclination to call them both idiots for taking this so seriously. At least they weren't using their Sharingan's...or their Chidori's. Thanks god for small favours.
"Ne, Naruto, do you think we should stop them?"
"I don't see why – looks like they're enjoying themselves."
Sakura scrunched her eyes, trying to see what Naruto was describing, and true to his word, there was a ghost of a smile playing along Sasuke's lips. Was the prospect of hurting the other man that appealing?
"You seem awfully enthusiastic this morning, Sasuke," Kakashi observed. "Any particular reason why?" His clone asked.
Sasuke remained neutral, onyx eyes fixed on both of the Kakashi's every move. "Maybe…maybe not."
"Quite the evasive reply."
Sasuke jeered. "I only learned from the best."
"I'm sure…"
Hearing enough of the Copy-ninja's for now, Sasuke unsnapped his kunai pocket and flung a piece of steel wire, ensnaring one of the Kakashi's wrists successfully. It was all done faster than Sakura had time to blink.
"It seems the Scarecrow's been caught," he sneered assertively. The Kakashi smiled, eye curved happily before he vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Not quite I'm afraid," Kakashi replied, watching his clone disappear beside him.
A sinister smile tilted Sasuke's mouth before he too disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"I win sensei."
Kakashi stiffened, feeling the cool edge of a kunai against his clothed throat, held by the real Sasuke behind him.
"So I see, he was a clone the whole time. Very clandestine of you, but there's something I need to tell you."
Crimson eyes narrowed. "What's that?"
Kakashi tilted his head, peering at Sasuke from the corner of his eye. "That I'm a clone too," he grinned.
Sasuke jumped back just in time as a series of shuriken came whizzing by through the puffy clouds of the faux Kakashi. He skidded to halt, watching as the real Kakashi jumped down from a tree's perch, two shuriken rotating around his index.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Sasuke, but I'm afraid that it's me who won."
Black-navy brows furrowed. "What are you talking about? You haven't even hurt me yet."
Kakashi coughed into his fist, before one of his fingers pointed to his cheek. Sasuke quickly reached up and pressed his finger to where Kakashi indicated. Retracting his hand, he saw the tiniest smear of blood staining his finger.
"This doesn't count – it's the size of a paper-cut!"
Kakashi shrugged, walking towards Naruto and Sakura. "Sorry, but you never specified," he said over his shoulder, voice fading a bit.
Sakura felt her heart rate and breathing return to regular tempo, realizing the match was finally over and ending in only a scratch – much better than the limb she had imagined. She heard Sasuke grumble something incoherently in the background.
"Now, what would you two like to do today?" Kakashi asked, an air of contentment surrounding him.
Sakura's eyes formed little saucers. "Since when do you let us choose?"
"Since now."
"I want to go to Ichiraku ramen!" Naruto declared.
Kakashi nodded, gaze averting to focus on Sakura, something intangible creeping inside her system that was definitely by his doing. Did he always affect her like this? "And you?"
She took in, in what she hoped for was an inconspicuous deep breath, before exhaling in hopes to get rid of some of the tension, stress, and confusion that clogged her throat and palpitated her heart. "Well, if we have a choice, I kinda want to go home." That intangible feeling suddenly left, withdrawing backwards as if she had done something to repel it.
"Oh come on, Sakura," Naruto bleated.
"It's nothing personal," she reassured, ignoring her emotions that never made sense. "It's just that my parents come home today and I want to clean up a bit and make them supper."
Kakashi gave a curt nod again; reticent, stoic, and Sakura could only give him a weak smile in return.
"Umm, I guess I'll see you guys later," she waved, sauntering away.
The remaining three sighed in unison at her departure.
"Ne, Kaka-sensei, do we still get to go to Ichiraku ramen?"
Kakashi smiled, deceptively benevolent. "As soon as you give me five-hundred laps, Naruto," he said, without a dreg of sympathy. Naruto groaned and Sasuke smirked; Kakashi still focusing in the direction his kunoichi left.
All good things come to those who wait…
AN: And the conclusion to all of this? I suck at writing action scenes! Lol, but anyway, YAY confessions! Or at least one confession…and who knew it would come from Kakashi? (several hands rise) Alright, alright, so it was predictable, but do we all understand what happened with our silver-haired jounin in the last chapter? Yup, you got it. He snapped! Just like an elastic band! Awe, what jealousy, confusion, and denial can do to a person :P
And for further explanation, I see Kakashi as a man who has a lot of stuff inside – not necessarily all dark, but he's so secretive and mysterious and he couldn't really be like that if he didn't keep a lot of things inside. Why he's like that? I'm not quite sure, and I don't think he really outlets all of that stuff soI can see it leading up to a breaking point, where he then expresses it in not so conventional ways. That's just how I see it anyway.
And a big thanks to all who've reviewed. It was interesting and fun to read some of the different reactions the last chapter caused. (Squeezes KaraQ and Christinarr into a bear hug) thanks you two for always taking the time to leave a comment. Love ya guys!
To Phatkat: I absolutely agree with you, although we know what's bothering her, the way I convey how she feels is quite dizzying. Hopefully it won't be like that too much from now on because I won't be focusing too much attention on this inner turmoil of hers anymore…cause well, Kakashi's going to be around to help Sakura from now on, even though he said he wasn't going to do squat )
To Undercoverchad: yes, mysteriousness…(cough) lol the reason I don't dabble too much into Kakashi's psyche is due to my ineptness as a writer you see. I find it much easier to delve into the mind of a sixteen year old confused, depressed, inadequate, girl lol But who knows, maybe I'll start thinking more along the lines of a very secretive, dark humoured, thirty year-old man :P
Umm, ya. My AN is too long. Sorry!
–Eris