Episode 3:
Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
-One last breath, by Creed-There he was, standing at the porch, his figure bathed in moonlight. From what she could distinguish in the dark, he hadn't changed since the last time she'd seen him, back in the eighties. His hair had been a little blonder and spikier, but on the whole he remained the same, almost exactly like she remembered him.
Time passed very slowly for their kind, years went by leaving them almost unaffected, but she had gone through so many things since that time she'd run into him in France that she had half expected to see him much more changed. But when anything of what she had expected had come true?
She hesitated. Could she give credit to what those vampires had said about him? They hadn't looked like a reliable source of information; on the other hand, she could see no other reason why he would be standing at the Slayer's front porch as if he owned the place. Of course, he'd always been quite arrogant but this was too much even for him.
Those weren't the only reasons she hesitated. The truth was the two of them had never gotten along at all. In fact, they had never been able to stand each other's pressence. Why would he want to help her now, why would he trust in her at all when no one else did?
Angel's friends certainly didn't: they had moved away so she wouldn't find them. They wouldn't let her get anywhere close to her child. Hell, Angel hadn't trusted her either. He had cared for her, but caring was not the same than trusting. Truth to be told, she didn't trust herself either and with good reason. So why would she bother to ask for his help? He wouldn't help her anyway.
Because you don't have another choice. The only way to prove the world and herself that she was worthy of being close to her son was getting a soul, and it was too bad that him was the only one who knew how she could do that.
She held up her head and made her way towards him. When she was behind the vampire, she put a hand on his shoulder and called his name.
Predictably, he winced and his eyes snapped wide open in shock when he recognized her.
'Darla?' He gasped. She refrained herself from sneering.
'In the flesh.'
He gaped at her.
'What the bloody hell are you doin' here?'
Ok, not the warmest welcome ever, but she'd had worse.
'The Slayer'll stake you as soon as she sees you.'
'Don't worry for me, Spike, I won't stay long enough for that to happen. I've came to ask you a little favor.'
Spike eyed her, distrust in every line of his face. And yet again, what had she expected?
'What kind of favor?'
'Well, I need some information.'
'About what?'
She looked at him up and down before answering.
'I want to know how you did to get a soul.'
His jaw fell open. It was almost laughable.
He blinked and managed to put a straight face again.
'Why would you want to know that?'
Darla frowned.
'Don't you know what happened? With me, with Angel…'
Spike cut her in.
'I know what happened to Angel', he snapped. She looked at him, surprised. It was one of the rare times that she heard him call Angel by his name, and she was even more shocked to realize that what had happened to Angel affected him much more than he'd ever admit.
'Then you'll know about our child.'
'Oh, I see', he said, sitting at the stairs. He made her a gesture and she sat next to him. 'Are you tryin' to tell me you wanna get a soul?'
She was surprised he'd guessed it so quickly. Wow, maybe Spike was brighter than she'd thought.
'Well, that's the idea.'
'Oh', was all he managed to pronounce. A thick silence fell upon them, a silence that seemed to stretch out for ages.
'So you want to get a soul, become Caroline Ingalls and raise your kiddo?'
She ignored his sarcasm. She was too tired to play silly games.
'They won't let me see him', she whispered, without even realizing that sound was coming out from her mouth. 'You know, Angel's friends. I haven't seen him since he was born…but I can feel him. I don't know how, but I feel what he feels.'
Spike stared at her curiously. Curiously, not skeptically.
'And what is he feeling now?'
She closed her eyes as her mind drifted away. Miles away, to where her child was. And she felt it. There was no way she couldn't feel it when it was so intense.
'He's scared and lonely. He doesn't like the place where he is. He wants to go home.'
A silence followed her words, as Spike looked at her with his eyes wide open until he recovered from the shock.
'Darla, you must understand it won't be easy. I had to go to Hell itself to get my soul back and I was almost destroyed trying. You have to think about it, pet.'
'I already have. I'll do it, no matter the cost.'
He looked at her, and Darla was astonished to see there was something in his eyes she'd never seen before: respect.
'It looks like you've gone soft with the age, Darla', he said but she knew at once that he wasn't mocking her. She gave him a wry smile.
'Oh, I'm the one who's gone soft? Last I've heard is that you had a huge crush on the Slayer.'
Spike's face darkened, and she thought she had offended him somehow. But he wasn't looking at her: his gaze was fixed in a point far beyond them.
'I'm afraid is a little more serious than a crush', he said a little gloomily. 'It's ironic, isn't it?', he added after a pause. 'Me, in love with a Slayer, the same one Peaches fell in love with, and you caring for a child…your child. And we used to be the terror of Europe and the world beyond.'
Darla smiled sadly.
'Yes, we were.'
Silence fell again on them as they watched the night surrounding them. A night that once had felt so familiar and now was starting to feel out of the place from them both.
We belonged to the night. We belonged to the night, and the night was ours. Everything was easy back then: there was just right and wrong, and we had chosen wrong. We didn't have to worry about anything else.
Now, however, they didn't belong to the night anymore, not completely. And they'd never belong to the day, no matter how hard they tried.
They both knew it, and none of them cared. It was a lost battle but at least was one that was worthy to fight for.
And that was more than they had had when they had been at the top of the world and everything had looked so easy.