Thanks to my newly acquired beta, Christinarr, for helping me tweak the chapter. Oh ya, beware of the jumping around...
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Courage Needs You – Chapter #13
It was hot, unbearably so, scorching the grass and parching the earth with an advisory warning to refrain from staying outside in the sun for too long. Birds took shelter in the woods; people who dared to venture outside hid under umbrella's; even the clouds seemed to have scurried away from the suns searing rays, leaving a clear crisp blue sky behind.
"It's hot."
"Ya."
"Too hot."
"I know."
A pause.
"I'm still going to kick your ass though."
"So do it already. It's been four years – I'm sick of waiting."
"Sasuke?"
"What?"
"You really are a bastard – you know that?"
"And don't you forget it."
"As if I could forget with you constantly reminding me."
"Dense person's such as yourself need a constant reminder."
"Bastard."
"Idiot."
After a couple of minutes in gravid silence, Naruto sighed. "It's seriously just way too fucking hot."
Sasuke rejected a response, but Naruto hadn't expected one anyway. He rested his hands comfortably behind his head as he lay under a Japanese oak tree, with Sasuke a few feet beside him in much the same position. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing and wondering how Sasuke was still able to don all black even in this agonizing heat.
Once again they were in 'their' glade, their surreptitious curiosity kept hidden as to why they were alone – again – when two others should have been with them.
"Ne, Sasuke?"
He sighed. "What is it now?"
"When was the last time you saw Sakura-chan? Or Kaka-sensei for that matter?"
He shrugged. "Two Thursdays ago for Sakura, and the last time I saw sensei was the same time you last saw him."
"It's weird," Naruto said despondently, "I've never gone this long without seeing her, unless it was because of a mission, but I've been back for a week now and I still haven't seen her. Every time I go by her place, she's never home – doesn't matter if it's late into the night or early into the morning…she's just never there."
The blond sighed airily, squinting at the sun and feeling beads of sweat trickling along his hairline to dampen his already soaked mane. "How bout you? Have you tried to visit her at all?"
"No," he lied. "I haven't bothered trying," and flicked a grasshopper off that decided to perch upon his knee. "She's probably still training with Kakashi," he said blandly.
"Kaka-sensei should be training us though – we're the ones with the jounin exam coming up."
"Well," Sasuke sighed, settling on the back of his elbows, "looks like you got your wish."
Naruto perched up. "Huh?"
"There," Sasuke gestured with a minute movement of his head, causing Naruto to squint blue eyes off in the distance through the waves of heat. Suddenly, he was off like a bullet, leaving behind nothing but the wind of his movements. Sasuke leisurely sat up, brushed some stray pieces of grass off, and strode towards the newly formed trio.
Sakura suddenly felt herself tackled from behind, nearly causing her to face-plant into the grass if Kakashi hadn't steadied her.
"My god, Sakura, where have you been!"
She gasped in response. "Naruto, you're breaking my ribs."
When Sasuke showed up, Naruto was still gripping Sakura from behind in a bone-crunching hug. His navy-black brows coerced together in annoyance, detesting how Naruto was always so blatant with his emotions. Sensing Kakashi looking at him, he regarded the older man with a nod.
Reticently, he watched as Naruto finally released her, only to turn Sakura around as if she were a marionette and he the puppet master, holding her in place by her shoulders.
"I've been back for a week! A whole week! Where have you been? Did you move? I've been by your house almost everyday and you're never there!"
Sasuke crossed his arms, weight resting to the side of his leg, letting Naruto ask all of the questions and more-so, on both of their behalves. The blond was acting like a couple weeks sans Sakura had put him in his own respective hell – it was as amusing as it was pathetic.
"I've been busy training Naruto," she started gently, wishing he would release his bruising grip.
"Too busy to even see me? That still doesn't explain why you're never home."
A pause; she was stalling. She steeled her eyes on Naruto, resisting the tempting urge to give Kakashi a pleading look for backup support. If she did, it would be a dead giveaway and with the penetrating gaze of Sasuke on her, she knew it was too hazardous to try.
"I've been staying with Ino ever since my parents left again. You know how much I hate it when my parents leave," she said, having no reservation about using his feelings to her advantage – not like she normally would.
"Mou, I wish you would have told me. You could have stayed at my place!" he grinned boldly.
"And put up with your snoring? I don't think so," she laughed, casually removing his hands from her shoulders. No doubt she would have a healthy bruise come tomorrow, Naruto just wasn't aware of his own strength sometimes.
"You're different," Sasuke remarked, cocking his head to the side as if the position would help ascertain what it was.
"Different?" she reiterated, trying to remain nonchalant as critical black eyes inspected her. "How so?"
His eyes narrowed searchingly, but otherwise, said nothing.
Naruto slit his eyes as well, mimicking Sasuke by looking at the apprehensive kunoichi up and down.
"Hey, you're right Sasuke – something is different," Naruto declared, stepping back to get a better view. "You got fatter."
"Excuse me!" and felt the familiar heat of her righteous indignation.
Sasuke sighed heavily, turning his eyes skywards, a look as close to disbelieving as Sasuke could muster. "Naruto, you truly are an idiot."
The blond turned on a fulcrum. "And you're an ass, so what's your point?"
"Well, since you two seem busy arguing, Sakura has some training to do," Kakashi interrupted, sparing her a saying glance to follow and not argue.
"Kaka-sensei we have the jounin exam coming up! Why aren't you training us?" Naruto bleated, stepping in front of the silver-haired man, preempting him from leaving.
"I kn–"
"He's right sensei, you should be training them for the time being," Sakura interrupted, catching the subtle flash of incense in his eye, an aspect she probably wouldn't have noticed a couple weeks prior.
She had learned that his inscrutable mask although impressive, was not completely perfect. She was capable of seeing the slight crease of his eye – the tick in his brow – the clench in his jaw, and was proficient enough to label each to an emotion. The restrained characteristics which were indeed normally faint were only blindingly bright and evident to Sakura's knowing green eyes – her instincts telling her to listen but her brain tenaciously flouting the warning and refusing to be bullied.
"It's only fair and besides, I have nothing pressing to be training for anyway," she reassured convincingly, turning to leave. "I'll leave you boys to it then."
Naruto frowned and doggedly grasped onto her wrist. "Why are you leaving? Stay and train with us."
She attempted to remove his hand tenderly, trying her best to give him a smile which only turned thin and broken on her lips instead. It would be too emotionally strenuous to sit by nonchalantly and watch them train, knowing they were that much closer to the title of jounin whereas she was still several universes away from ever achieving such a goal – especially since she had barely passed the chuunin exam (according to her father).
They couldn't see what she could – not from their position, not from their placement in the world; they couldn't see the chasm they were digging between them – the distance every minute of their training produced – the ocean's gap if they attained a higher status. They were set, focused, completely enthralled by all the positives such a position would bring. Naruto that much nearer to the Hokage title – Sasuke that much closer to defeating his brother – Sakura that much more aware of everything changing around her.
She sighed, trying to keep her exasperation and desolation opaque as she looked at intense blue eyes, confused and hopelessly lost at to what she was thinking. "I'll just get in the way Naruto and besides, its way too hot for me today. I'd rather go home, chill by the air-conditioner and read a book."
"A romance book perhaps?" Sasuke smirked teasingly from the sidelines.
She glowered; Sasuke's repartee was something she could have done without today. "What's it to you?"
He grinned, a horrible smug grin that didn't earn him the response he was expecting from the kunoichi as she completely turned around, ignoring all three as she walked away from them – their goals – their titles – their everything. If there was going to be canyon between them, she was going to decide the distance.
.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Ino gave a clipped sigh. "You're lying."
"Ya."
"Well I don't know if you've heard, but lying to your friends is an awful bitchy thing to do."
"Hey Ino, can you do me a favour?" Sakura asked, the deserving insult not fazing her in the least.
Ino paused, disposition scowling. "Depends – right now I don't think I should do anything for you."
She brushed the comment aside. "If anybody asks where I've been, just tell them I've been at your place, alright."
"Why? Who would be asking?"
"Just tell them okay?"
"…"
"Please."
"Fine."
"Thanks."
"Whatever."
Sitting up, Sakura gazed out Ino's window, dazed and pensive before ambling towards her door.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?"
She shrugged, back turned towards the blonde. "For a walk," she replied deadpan, grasping the burnished knob.
"Fine, but before you go, tell me one thing," and took Sakura's silence as the go-ahead, "just where have you been lately?" she asked, bright cerulean eyes unusually distressed.
Sakura paused. "I'll see you later, Ino," and left.
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She tapped her sandaled foot impatiently against the chair's leg, her finger thrumming along in an annoying rhythm, oblivious if her actions were causing others frustration as they were too polite to demand her to stop.
"Tsunade-sama will see you now," Shizune said, seeing the instant relief of fellow ninja's as the incessant pattering stopped.
Sakura stood and walked purposefully inside the Hokage's office, willing her mind to go still less she regret this rare impulsiveness.
"Sakura-chan, how can I help you?" Tsunade asked, chestnut eyes focused downward as she continued to scribble something on one of the many scrolls that surrounded her.
"I've come to request a mission."
.
"Why?"
"Why not?" she countered blandly.
"They'll be hurt."
"They won't even notice."
"They will!"
She sighed. "It's not like I can cheer for them anyway, since my status prohibits me from seeing the exam."
He shook his head, silver hair disarrayed and unnaturally tangled. "Just don't, Sakura – don't do this."
"Do what?"
"This. Running away from them…from me."
She paused, eyes turning hard. "I'm not."
"You are! The exam is next week, why else would you request a mission that specifically lasted for two?"
She shrugged. "'Cause I felt like it."
He gripped her shoulders hard, unknowingly pressing into the bruised area, making dull green eyes languidly glance at him. He gave her a shake, making her head snap back and forth painfully but she didn't care – didn't wince didn't complain and stared at him listlessly.
"Fine, but why me? What did I do?"
She turned her head to the side, glancing out the window, watching the clouds – thin and transparent, become illuminated by the moon.
"Do you want me to leave? Is that it? Because you're doing a fucking brilliant job of pushing me away."
She shrugged uncaringly, gaze lost in the inky sky.
"Look at me!" he growled, gripping her chin and jerking her face to meet his – hating the fact that she was forcing him to act so virile. "Don't do this – don't push me away when things have just begun," he whispered, trying to regain some of his composure.
Detached jade eyes finally centered on his face, and brushed the back of her hand along his masked cheek.
"Wait for me?"
He sighed closing his eyes, trying to come to terms with the battle he had inevitably lost. "You know I will," he ground out wretchedly.
She nodded, then ever so slowly and lightly pressed her lips against his clothed ones; too lost within herself to realize the full extent of her actions – that this was a first – that it was supposed to have been special, not tinged with a sadness and a frustration and a goodbye. "I'll see you in a couple of weeks," then walked away.
It felt good, to be the one to leave, to have that moment of temporary power; of having someone else watch the back of your shirt as you walked away. It was as horrible as it was satisfying, and she couldn't help but wonder if she was morphing into a bad person.
And just like always, Kakashi had been right. She was running away – from them and the exam, eschewing change and her problems – it was so wretchedly obvious and yet she had still hoped with that little part of her that would always remain hopeful, that he wouldn't have noticed.
It didn't matter how many times her optimism would be crushed, pissed on, smashed into oblivion – it would always obstinately reappear and take up the plot in her brain labeled 'hopeless dunce'.
How wrong was it to know that you were being petty and selfish but just simply not care? She shuffled through the dark and stone pathway, wondering if she didn't care because she was simply too tired and jumbled, or because this was just the person she really was.
She knew Naruto and Sasuke would be disappointed and if their roles had been reversed, she knew she would have been distraught as well, and yet that still didn't stop her from requesting a mission that would take her away from their success and Kakashi's comfort. She wasn't sure anything could have stopped her – it merely felt too wonderful to be liberated from her problems, even if it was only provisional.
And if they hated her for it – then so be it. She didn't deserve them anyway.
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"I see."
"I'm sorry."
Naruto shook his head, a sad smile of understanding on his fox-like face. "It's my fault – I should have told her, she deserved at least to hear it from me." He looked up at the taller jounin, brows furrowed and face contemplative. "Do you think she'll forgive me for not telling her about the exam?"
For Naruto to worry about her forgiveness, over the terrible fact of her abandoning him and Sasuke in her selfishness – left Kakashi in disbelief.
"To ask such a thing, even after I told you what she did…" he said with an undertone of incredulity. When did Naruto develop such an understanding and mature nature? Was this his bona fide character, or was it because this dealt strictly with Sakura? He found it didn't matter, and smiled fondly underneath his mask.
"Truly Naruto, one day you will become Hokage."
.
If somebody had come up to Sakura and told her she had won the congeniality award of the year, she would have laughed hysterically in their face and suggest they go see the village shrink. If somebody had told her she was being a selfish brat, she would've given them a simple nod, having no proof to dispute their claim.
She gazed out the window, seeing huge gray billows of clouds, pregnant with rain. It had been like this all week and she couldn't help but ruminate if this was the God's way of telling her what a vile thing she had done. If the God's found reason enough to loath her as well, she would graciously accept their punishment. Who was she to argue with the divine rulers of justice?
"Why do you do that?"
She saw in the window's reflection one of her teammates standing behind her and looking at her wonderingly.
"Do what?" she replied flatly.
"Stare outside the window as if you're trapped inside a prison."
Silence was returned, because what could she say to such truth and observation? She watched his reflection leave and take post outside the main chambers door – the post she was assigned to yet found herself constantly gazing out the window instead. No doubt her poor performance would be written up in the report, but she realized she simply didn't care, and watched the clouds give birth to rain.
The second week of bodyguard duty, although slow and uneventful, went by too quickly for Sakura as she found herself hesitating outside of Konoha's gates.
Was the jounin exam over? Did they pass or were they still enduring it? She shuffled from foot to foot, glancing behind her periodically as if weighing the option to leave again, although there was no mission this time.
"Is there something we can help you with, miss?" a male voice bellowed from above on the protective wall.
She could feel the pressure of several pairs of eyes on her, forcing her to make a decision before she was ready. Exhaling noisily, she shook her head to clear away her thoughts and looked up at her suspicious audience.
"No, I'm fine. Sorry to have troubled you," she replied impassively, closing her eyes and forcing her feet to move forward.
She was being silly, she knew – amongst other things such as being selfish, infantile, and ungrateful. This was a long time coming – she should've been used to being left behind by now and there was a point where she had even accepted being the overcast shadow of her teammates. When did things change again? Why was she so pitifully frightened?
She detoured around Konoha, taking back alleys and side streets that were frequented rarely – avoiding anyone and everyone possible as she made her way home. It was nighttime, impossibly black as the moon was shrouded by the familiar swell of clouds, and for that she was appreciative although she still felt undeserving of such simple luxuries.
She slipped inside her home, not bothering to turn on any lights as she let her pack fall unceremoniously on the ground, some of its contents spilling forth. She kicked it to the side uncaringly, sitting on the third step of her stairwell, back leaning against the wall.
"You'll get a cramp if you stay like that for to long."
She peered to the side, too spaced to have been scared by his sudden appearance.
"Duly noted," she murmured, closing her eyes.
"How do you feel?" and sat down across from her.
"Like shit."
He smirked at her vulgarity. "So how was your mission?"
She peeked open an eye. "Do you honestly have to ask?"
"Boring?"
"Boring," she reaffirmed sighing airily, feeling the weight of silence surround them, getting entirely too much gusto from his presence. "So what is it?" she finally asked.
"Hmm?"
"There's something you want to tell me."
"Ohh? You could tell?" he asked, tone buoyant despite her serious air. "What do you want to hear first; the good news of the bad news?"
She exhaled deeply through her nose, eyes still closed and head still resting against the wall. "Bad news."
"The jounin exam isn't over yet."
"I expected as much." Although it didn't mean she was happy about it. "So what's the good news?"
"Both Naruto and Sasuke failed the second element of the exam."
"What?" She snapped her head forward, eyes large, wide, and incredulous. "What do you mean they failed? You said they would pass! And how is this good news?" She was surprised to find herself yelling, it echoing through the stairwell.
He raised a silvery brow. "I thought you would have been happy. Isn't this what you wanted? Isn't that why you ran away?"
"I didn't run away!" She lied, voice on the verge of vitriol. "And yes, it was what I wanted…but…"
But what? This is what she had asked for; the failure of her comrade's so team seven's ties wouldn't be broken – so she could selfishly remain and walk the same path as them. So why did it make her feel so horrible inside? Why did it feel so wrong?
"This is wrong…" she whispered, eyes staring leagues ahead of her, introverted and lost. "They deserved to pass," she said balefully, eyes downcast and hard.
"How do you know? You weren't even there."
"Because I know them! If anyone deserved the title it was them! Everyday they would train themselves – studying to become that much wiser – bleeding to become that much stronger! I've watched them through the cold and the rain, the sleepless nights they spent dedicating themselves to be that much more!" Her voice cracked at the end, realizing she was crying. "It just isn't fair," she whispered.
He stared at her evenly, seemingly unaffected by her tears. "If you wanted them to pass so badly, then why did you leave?"
She paused, eyes profound with tears. "Because I couldn't watch them take another milestone in life and leave me behind," she said, voice stifled and strained. "I wanted to be there with them – as an equal, as part of the team. Not a bloody proponent!" She sighed. "It's just…it's just I'm so tired of being the underdog – of getting by with the bare minimum – always and forever known as being mediocre. I'm sick of people looking at me and wondering what happened, why I'm not as good or as talented as my parents – always comparing, always criticizing, always whispering behind my back."
He intermitted. "So this is all because of you then?"
She cringed. It was as if he was using a euphemism, instead of just stating she was a selfish fiend. Avoiding his gaze she inwardly shrunk away, wanting to fold within herself and disappear.
"Go ahead and say it!" she ground out nastily as her defenses unconsciously rose.
He remained unreadable. "Say what?"
"That I'm selfish and that I'm a coward; that I probably don't even deserve to be a shinobi."
"Sakura," he said slowly, deliberately, wanting her to face him. "You must realize that everybody goes through a stage of feeling inadequate, and that it will pass."
"But this isn't a stage," she said a matter of fact. "This is who I am – common, simple, incompetent Sakura. I bet you've never had such a stage before," she bit out tersely then suddenly sighed, long and exaggerated as she clenched her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry; I don't mean to be like this. I'm just–"
"I know," he interrupted calmly. "I know."
She timidly scooted over to him hating herself, squirming her way to sit on his thigh where she played with the button on his shuriken holster. "God, I don't deserve you," she muttered, resting the side of her head against his torso. "But I'm glad that I have you…I'm glad that you're here."
He said nothing and lifted her more securely on his lap, arm resting and supporting around her back. "Now that you know they have failed, would you have stayed?"
She had hoped the topic would have been dropped, but answered him anyway. "Yes, everyday that I was gone I was fretting and wondering how they were doing – what they were going through – if they were mad 'cause I was gone. I realized I had just created more problems than I had left with. Now I know why I'm never impulsive."
"Well," he started, fingers threading through her hair, "at least you know how you really feel. Now you can come with me next week to see them at the final stage."
She sat up stiffly, mien utterly embrangled. "At the final stage? But…you said that they failed…"
He chortled softly, eye creased in good-natured humour. "I'm sorry, it seems that I've deceived you," he said not remorseful at all.
"You mean they didn't fail?"
"Of course they didn't – remember it was the infamous Copy-nin who trained them – as if my students would fail," he smirked, purposefully stroking his own ego just to further irk the girl and diminish the somber melancholy atmosphere.
"Why you…" she started, then found her well-founded anger transforming into laughter and smiles. They did it – they had passed the second component, and by the sound of Kakashi's cocky confidence over his own students, she was assured they would succeed in the final element as well.
"But I can't," she said sullenly, whole body wilting at the realization. "I'm not allowed to see the exam."
"You just let me worry about that."
Her eyes trained on him with an odd look, before it slipped into a grin she was unable to prevent.
"Well I'm glad to see you're happy," he said, eyes curving softly.
"Oh, don't get me wrong. As soon as my shock and happiness wanes, I'm going to kick your ass for lying to me."
He grinned affectionately. "I'm looking forward to it."
She leaned into him again, an uncommon goofy grin on pink lips with glazed green eyes creased in contentment. She was so dazed and withdrawn within her mind that she didn't have time to think how natural this was, how well she fit against his body, how much she had missed his scent – missed him.
Kakashi rested his head against the wall, eyes closed and concentrated, basking in this moment from the heat of her skin to the fragrance of her hair. He hadn't anticipated how much he would yearn for her presence when it had been absent for two weeks; how uptight and edgy he would feel just because he couldn't be near her; how his fingers would itch and burn just to feel the texture of her skin – her hair – her lips.
"Kakashi?"
He made a sound in his throat to say he was listening.
"I've decided." She was firm, confident, and resolute in her tone, making him open his eyes to regard her. She looked up at him. "I'm not going to be a coward anymore. I'll never be who I want to be if I keep running away."
He nodded mutely, seemingly unsurprised by this turn of events. Whatever path she chose when appearing before life's crossroads, he would be there.
.
So many feelings – anger, happiness, resentment, pride, delight – but with all of her thoughts and emotions, she could only say one thing.
"Congratulations." And she meant it – or at least most of her meant it. There was still that nagging little voice in the back of her mind that remained petty and bitter that they were now officially better than her – that they accomplished the title before she had – could – or ever would.
"Thanks, Sakura," Naruto said quietly – tenderly. "I'm glad you're here."
It was strange to see him looking at her so fondly and softly while dirt smeared his cheeks and blood designed his face. She reached up and brushed away his hair that clung to the blood and grim, smiling faintly as Sasuke approached, clutching his dislocated arm. She tried to look past his red-stained clothing and the guise of pain his face tried to hide with proverbial aloofness.
"Congratulations, Sasuke. I knew you would pass." She paused, unable to keep the concern from her next question. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, thank you."
She nodded, knowing he would've said the same thing even if he wasn't. Displays of weakness weren't permitted to someone of Sasuke's caliber.
"Well, you two better go get treated by the medics. I'll wait for you here," she said, trying to keep her confusing emotions at bay as she watched them walk away through the coliseum's tunnel and up the stairs, leaving her behind and alone. The walls and floor shook like a volcano as people stomped and cheered in the stadium above her. The next match had started…
.
Would they notice if she snuck through the crowd and made a beeline for the door? Would they even care if she left?
"Going somewhere?"
She jerked to the side, seeing dark brown eyes smiling down on her knowingly. "No, why do you ask?" She wasn't physically moving anywhere; she was just envisioning it happening instead.
"Because you keep looking at the door like it's your salvation."
Was she really that obvious?
"Well I'm not going anywhere Shikamaru, but I think you should go and keep tabs on Ino – looks like she forgot she isn't single," Sakura grinned, seeing the genius scowl and flounce towards his rambunctious girlfriend through the gaggle of people.
As soon as he left, her smile faded to one of indifference as she looked from her now former teammates to the door once more. She hated feeling obligated, and right now being at this party, was an obligation. She didn't like throngs of people, loud and gregarious – laughing and shouting – bumping into her as if she were an inanimate object instead of a person.
Why couldn't they have celebrated with just the four of them instead? Why did the whole village have to be invited? She shook her head vigorously, ignoring the questioning stray looks sent her away, and forced her negative and self-centered thoughts to evaporate.
God, why wouldn't that little voice in the back of her head leave her alone? It was exhausting competing against it.
Abruptly someone was beside her, talking and laughing and paying attention to her as if she were actually interesting. She glanced at him impassive, before closing her eyes and blocking out his voice. Unperturbed, he stayed.
When she opened up her eyes again moments later, she saw silver break through the blacks, browns, and blonds of the crowd, making its way towards her and instantly settling her mind and nerves. She saw him glance at her 'companion', face an unreadable stoic mask but effective in scaring the young lad away. He placed his hand on the small of her back and leaned down to shudder into her ear: "Come with me."
Her eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the sound of his voice and the warmth of his presence. He was like a drug, she realized – her drug, and she was becoming addicted.
"You're a dangerous man, Kakashi," she whispered vampishly, peering up at him through her lashes.
He smiled wolfishly under his mask. "You have no idea."
She was led by the small of her back, his thumb brushing surreptitiously against her in an endearing manner. They were in a room full of shinobi – she wondered and feared if they were obvious.
"Won't they be upset if we leave?" she asked as she was guided away from the pub.
"They'll understand."
She nodded, trusting him as they steadily walked away from the boisterous crowd and lights. It was frightening, how much faith she had in him. If he told her she could fly, she'd spread her arms and leap.
"Where are we going?"
"Does it matter?"
No, she supposed it didn't, and let him lead her blindingly through the streets. The air was warm – the moon, full – the silence comforting, as she was steered towards his apartment complex. She had never been taken here at night; worried that strangers might see and assume the worst – which was actually the truth.
"Don't worry," he whispered, quickly assuaging her fears, "no one is around."
How he knew and why she believed him, she didn't know, and found herself walking into the building, up the stairs, and through his door without any reservation.
He slipped off his sandals, heading to his room by memory through the dark; her, following the subtle steps of his gait. She had done this several times already – staying in his room, innocently spending the night – but when he shut the door she felt the air shift and churn around them, turning into something much more consuming than ordinary. She focused on him through the shadows, wondering why things felt different this time around.
Her curiosity peaked as she watched him casually close his curtains, her heart jack-hammering against her ribcage as he approached her, gaze heavy and intense through the dark. Her body seemed to be acute to the changes but her mind was still chasing and trying to catch up.
He had looked at her like that before, making her mouth feel dry while her lungs sought air – although the intensity had been mild in comparison, always restrained by his willpower to take things slow. She wondered why he was unveiling himself to her now – why there was no apprehension or qualms in his stride.
He was in front of her now; his presence overwhelming, making her want to flee yet cling to his strength at the same time. She could barely see the outline of his hand as it rose to cup her face, his other hand joining shortly after, warming her already flushed cheeks. His aura was solemn, encircling her as he leaned forward to press his clothed lips against her own, making her breath hitch in her throat and her blind eyes close in the dark.
She felt submissive – protected – beautiful in his arms as he held her ferociously close against him; the heat of his mouth leaving hers, bending down to nuzzle his face in the crook of her neck while still pressing her winded body painfully against his.
The fervor in his actions made her mind swirl and her heart ache, causing her to grip his vest – his hair – his shirt, viciously in turn. His mouth and hands were bruising; clutching and skirting along her jaw, under her shirt, and through her hair; making her gasp and smile from the roughness of it all – pleased and frighteningly excited that he was unable to control himself.
She had never felt so wanted – so needed, and let her mind go numb as her other senses heightened.
She was so impossibly close to him, almost the whole length of her body pressing against his in an excruciating manner, and yet, it wasn't enough, and he must have had the same sentiments because he was backing her up now; his body subconsciously guiding her till the back of her knees hit the end of his bed, leading her to lie back down as his larger body smothered her slight frame.
Every part of her being was sweltering with her mouth panting – the air around them thick with unrestrained passion. His masked lips were on her again, one hand laced in her hair, the other clasping the underside of her leg with her clutching him in return, drawing him even harder against her.
He pulled back slowly – hesitantly – breathing labored and strained as he hovered above her on his elbows, pacifying himself enough to release his possessive grip.
She stared up at him; jade eyes glazed and heart pounding; breathing matching his own as she tried to read his expression through the dark.
Nervous and uncertain, she cruised the angle of his jaw with her fingers, slowly and deliberately inching them upwards till they played with the hem of his mask. He didn't move – didn't speak, simply steeled his gaze on her and waited.
Her heart was thumping – the blood ringing in her ears as she slipped two fingers underneath his mask – so tempted; so scared; so eager to see what was hidden. Just as she was sliding the black cloth down his face, he snatched her wrist, making her whole body jolt from the unexpected action.
"Close your eyes," he demanded softly.
Her eyes widened then frowned, disappointed by his request. "But I–"
"Shh," and placed a finger against her lips. "Just close them."
Her lips formed a hard line but otherwise obediently obeyed. His hand freed its ironclad grip on her wrist, and glided on top of hers, leading her fingers in pulling the rest of his mask down.
"Are you tempted?" he whispered hoarsely, bringing his bare lips to brush across her cheek.
She gulped noticeably. "Yes."
He breathed into the nook of her ear, letting her feel his lips spread into a smile. "Good."
"Please," she panted desperately. "I want to see."
He kissed her jaw gently. "Not yet," he whispered, then drew back when he felt her fingers feeling their way through his hair, slipping under his hitai-ate before sweeping it off and making it fall carelessly beside him.
Mismatched eyes closed as soft finger pads traced the contours of his face with a slow and meaningful purpose – touring across his cheek, his nose, his jowl, feeling the texture of his skin and the stubble on his chin. He sighed content, grasping her wandering hands and slowly pulling them back down above her head.
"Please…"
He cupped her face with his free hand, stroking her cheek affectionately before sealing her lips with a delicate kiss. Her heart stopped along with her breathing – body arching into his irrepressible one.
When he withdrew, her eyes were open, dazed and disoriented as she looked up at him with soft wonder.
"You're beautiful," she sighed, gazing at him with half-lidded eyes, unable to pull away; beautiful with his sloppy disarrayed hair, with his incompatible eyes, with the marring strip of skin. "Absolutely beautiful." Somehow, she always knew he would be.
He said nothing, face indecipherable as he stared down at her parted lips, flushed cheeks, and lust-filled eyes.
His mouth was on hers instantly, crushing and demanding and making her whimper – kissing her like a man gone starved. Her heart was racing again, her senses overpowered by the feel – smell – taste of him, completely devouring her and making her his.
She sighed at the taste of his tongue; groaned at the domineering grip on her thigh; moaned at the grinding of his hips, and gasped for breath as he pulled away, forehead resting against her own.
His breathing was haggard and fanned against her face; body tense and rigid as he gritted his eyes together tightly.
She watched him close his open mouth and breathe through his nose heavily, slowly regaining his composure as he blinked open hazy eyes. He let them linger on her swollen and bruised lips, tempting him to kiss them one last time before he rolled off onto his side and pulled her body flush against his.
"Stay with me." His voice was still profound and gruff, making her shudder unbidden.
Whether he meant for tonight or forever, she didn't know.
"Always."
.
Bright cerulean eyes scanned the perimeter, overlooking blobs of hair that would blur into one big brown mesh if he crossed his eyes just right – but what he thought would have been easy to spot, was proving rather difficult. They had two of the most distinctive hair colours, why couldn't he see them?
Someone clomped him on the back, shouting a, "Congratulations!" into his ear before squeezing himself between several shinobi on the table, turning to Naruto and going into a long-winded speech about the responsibilities and expectations a jounin status entailed.
Naruto nodded his head politely, one ear half listening while his eyes roamed the bustling pub anxiously. Finally he turned to Sasuke, sitting across from him and receiving a compliment from Tenten about how handsome he looked in his new jounin vest. Naruto rolled his eyes theatrically.
"Yo Sasuke, have you seen Sakura-chan or Kaka-sensei?" he asked, completely unabashed about interrupting Tenten and his gregarious 'friend' beside him.
"You do realize that Kakashi isn't our sensei anymore, right baka?"
Naruto paused, mind frozen in shock before swirling around in a maelstrom of emotions and realizations.
"Of course I know!" he defended quickly lest he give himself away. "I just said it from force of habit." Which was partly true – the other part just coming to terms that team seven was now officially slaughtered – maimed 'cause he and Sasuke had achieved something higher. He wouldn't be waiting for Kakashi anymore – wouldn't hear his idiotic excuses for being late, or Sakura's exclamation of, "LIAR!" which was always in unison with his own. He felt horribly alone all of a sudden, confused as to why since he was surrounded by friends and acquaintances.
"I saw Sakura leave with Kakashi-senpai about a half hour ago," Tenten remarked, oblivious to the sudden suspicion in Sasuke's eyes, and the cloud of disappointment in Naruto's. "They've been spending quite a lot of time together, ne? I hardly see Sakura anymore," she went on, soaking up the attention she was gleaning – unaware that it was her words, and not her they were paying attention to.
"Why would they leave?" Naruto asked absently to himself, not noticing the others focusing on him.
"Well Sakura doesn't like big gatherings does she? Didn't you notice she was lurking by the back entrance the whole time? And this is probably a little rough on her – I mean, things have changed now and there's nothing she can do about it. Must be hard to watch both your teammates succeed and walk forward without you. Kakashi-senpai probably just walked her home," she said, practically glowing like a sunbeam that the 'stars' of tonight were hanging onto her every word.
Naruto's lips formed a hard line, brows creased in contemplation and hands clenched tightly before him on the table. He stood up. "I'm going to go look for her," he said, surprising all occupants of the table before letting out a little yelp as Sasuke kicked his shin.
"You can't leave your own celebration party, idiot!"
His hackles rose. "Why the hell not?"
Sasuke pulled back stupefied. "What do you mean why not? You just can't!" he hissed, forcing himself to keep his tone leveled.
Naruto eyed the exit; Sasuke's words mulling over in his mind – making his wants and the other's expectations war brutally against one another till the latter managed to win – blood-stained and grinning over its defeat. He sank down in his chair crestfallen, much to his audience's relief.
The night wore on, minutes dragging into hours as people milled about on drunken and natural highs with Naruto's eyes never wavering from the door. His heart had yet to falter in hoping she would come back.
.
AN: Wow, chapter 13 has finally arrived. Sorry bout the wait! So ya, lots of things happen in this chapter, covers a 4 week timeline! And I have finally decided to up the rating to 'M', just to be on the safe side. Thanks for being patient while I was gone, and thanks you guys for reviewing and wishing me a good and safe trip :P I hope this chapter was worth the wait…
And for those of you who love fanart, go check out Holofernes and Christinarr's beautiful pictures they did for chapter 12. You guys are awesome! You can find them in my homepage link in my profile. If the link ain't there, it should be within 24 hours...
Roark28 – The SAT's? I live in Canada, and we don't have the SAT's, so that's really funny/interesting that I seem to follow a lot of their recommendations. Heh.
Esther – you crack me up! That little conversation between the dad and mum was hilarious. lmao, Kakashi in a bmw. Hehe you like all the parts I like in that chapter :D
Nimacu – Congrats on graduating! And that's interesting that it was criminal justice you just graduated from 'cause I'm taking criminology in the fall heh, so we're alike…kinda…maybe…O.o
Christinarr – hehe the smut fund. I wonder if there's other perverts besides us (glances around) And yes, bless Karaq's little heart for posting my story in the KakaSaku LJ. I swear I'll make an account soon…someday…when I'm not lazy. And I think you're the only one interested in the mission arc lol Ooo if only you people knew what I had planned for our favourite couple. Well you do, cause you're my beta :hugs:
Lara Roberts – I can sympathize. I can't read anything but English either. I bring shame to my Chinese heritage.
Silentsurrender – Awesome, I converted someone:D welcome to the insane realm of KakaSaku shippers!
Gin Yume – okay, don't freak out when you read the next chapter. I have plans you see, and you'll see what an important role Sakura's parents have to play in this story, oh I don't know, by chapter 15? It's a shame I have most of this story already plotted out, 'cause you just sent a horde of plot bunnies to bite me in the ass!
Blah, I'm going to stop now before I reply to everybody's review, which I'm tempted to do at the moment but that would mean a longer delay in posting the chapter. So ya…
Anywho, CONFRONTATIONS in the next chapter. Ooo the drama:D
–Eris