Thank you for your reviews again! Waah! I've reached chapter ten! I've never gone this far before! I'm sorry for the late update! I finished the chapter weeks ago I just didn't have the time to internet. We went to Bohol for the holy week you see so it was delayed even more! I would like to thank you for the idea reviewlord but unfortunately I already finished the chapter before I read your review. But I assure you your effort won't be wasted. I might use your idea on other chapters. Say guys I just turned 16 last March 24! Well you can't possibly give your gifts as in solid (as if you would) all I ask is your revivews and that would be as good as a cake! Thanks! Ok enough talk here's the chapter!
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me but rightfully to clamp.
Title: Remember me?
Author: sapphire-Lady-of-the-night
Chapter 10: Sorry…
He wasn't himself tonight. Kari thought as she waved good bye to Meilin. The man beside her, driving her to her home, has never been the same since that night in the cherry blossom circle where Kinomoto came up crying. He seemed very disturbed to see Kinomoto's tears again this afternoon at the café.
He wasn't the type to worry about anybody's problems unless the person was close to him. Syaoran never cared this much for other people, never cared so much as to be absent minded with worry. Yes she knew he was worried… worried over Kinomoto. But Kinomoto isn't just an 'anybody'. Kari smiled ruefully. Kinomoto had been his… his first true love and it pained her that she can do nothing about it.
Kari heaved a heavy sigh. He had prepared a candle lit dinner for them with a bit of Meilin's help. The night would have been perfect had he not been so distracted. Kari turned to Syaoran; he was looking straight ahead on the road. His chocolate brown hair was a bit tousled making him more attractive.
Syaoran felt Kari's gaze on him. He knew he wasn't able to give her, his full attention. God but he can't keep Kinomoto out of his mind. Maybe I need to see a psychologist. He turned to Kari who immediately looked away.
"Is something wrong?" Syaoran asked.
"… I should ask you that question" Kari answered not looking at him.
"I know I was a little preoccupied tonight. I'm really sorry about that. It's just… it's just…"
"It's Kinomoto isn't it?"
"…Yes" Syaoran answered truthfully.
Kari swallowed the hard lump on her throat.
"Why?" Kari asked.
"I don't know… I can't explain it. My head has been aching over it." Syaoran answered.
Kari looked out the window. She was relieved to see her house.
"We're here Syaoran. Stop the car."
Syaoran stopped the car at once.
"Good night" Kari said opening the door. Without even giving him a glance she got out of the car and ran to her house.
Syaoran sighed. "I have to make it up to her tomorrow" he mumbled.
Eriol was already there when she had burst inside the house.
"Are you alright?" He had asked her.
"Yeah" She had answered him almost breathlessly.
"Well then… dinner is served would you like to eat now?"
"Hai!" She had answered him immediately to avoid questions.
She wasn't able to finish her food. She had no appetite just thinking of the candle lit dinner Syaoran had prepared for Kari.
To avoid questions she offered to play her violin. To her relief Eriol didn't disagree and even asked if he may record it. Sakura agreed.
"You're going to be sick if you continue to be like that" Eriol's voice startled Sakura. She was sitting in the sofa staring at nothing. Her violin was already safely tucked into its case.
"I'm already sick inside Eriol. Not physically maybe, but emotionally I am. I'm very sick, there's no cure for it." Sakura answered.
"Actually there is" Eriol contradicted her.
Sakura looked at him across the room, blankly.
"If you'll only permit yourself to be healed then you will be" Eriol said.
"Perhaps I don't want to be cured." Sakura answered.
Eriol frowned. "You think he'll love you if you continue to be like that? Do you think that will solve your problem?"
"… No… still… it hurts so much… so mu-" Tears fell from her face.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Eriol asked. "There's a certain relief in talking you know"
"I don't want to trouble you with my problem."
"You already have." Eriol answered.
"It's a long story…" Sakura looked at him.
"We have all night" Eriol replied.
Sakura sighed. There was no escaping from questions now.
"When I was four his— Syaoran's family migrated here in Japan."
"Otosan there's a family moving in the house beside ours." Little Sakura stared outside their window. Four young girls came skipping excitedly towards their new house, a surly looking boy following right behind them.
"That's the Li family Sakura. They're our new neighbors." Fujitaka smiled at his daughter.
"We became friends, although… not right away." Sakura smiled reminiscing.
"Hi my name is Kinomoto Sakura!" Little Sakura offered her hand to a frowning little Syaoran.
"What do you want?" He scowled at her.
"I want to be your friend" Sakura answered him.
"I don't need any" He turned his back on her.
"He rejected the friendship I offered… and I was starting to hate him."
"Somehow I couldn't imagine you hating somebody." Eriol commented. "You always seem to be lacking in strength to hate somebody."
"Iie…" Sakura smiled. "I do hate, I just don't show it… anyway unexpectedly he managed to banish my growing hate for him." Sakura looked out the window.
"I was being bullied in school and Touya wasn't there to protect me, Tomoyo had not yet arrived, then he came to my rescue. He fought the bully and when he was finished the bully was trembling hard with fear."
"Arigato Li-kun"
"Don't you have someone to look after you?" He frowned at her.
"Oni-san… has a class" Sakura mumbled, looking down at her shoes.
"I'll be your protector then." Syaoran offered.
Sakura looked up startled. Li looked at her defiantly, perhaps waiting for her rejection since he had rejected her offer of friendship.
"Honto?" Sakura asked happily.
Syaoran nodded.
"Arigato! Does this mean we're friends already?"
"If you like" Syaoran shrugged.
"Oh I would love very much to be your friend!"
Syaoran looked startled, then the barest smile touched his lips.
"Since then we were always together… eventually we fell in love… those days were my happiest… but then came the day when everything changed. He was going back to Hong Kong for vacation with his family… there he had an accident… that turned my world upside down. He forgot about me, about Japan." Sakura closed her eyes.
"Why don't you tell him about yourself?" Eriol said.
"His mother made me promise that I wouldn't tell him anything. She said forcing the memory back might harm him…"
Eriol sighed. "So he fell in love with another girl, and you'll continue like this forever?"
Sakura only gave him a sad smile.
Suddenly there was a click.
"What was that?" Sakura asked fearfully, she has this terrible fear of ghosts.
"That must be my tape recorder. I was recording when you played your violin remember? Somehow I misplaced it and I don't know where it is. I'll find it in the morning."
Sakura sighed. She was so relieved that it wasn't a ghost that the fact that not only her music was recorded but also her conversation with Eriol, didn't register in her head.
"I think I'll go to sleep now." Sakura said getting up.
"Good night"
"Night"
"What's wrong with you Tomoyo?" Sakura asked her friend. She was staring at nothing, not even bothering to look on her way. She had stumbled twice already.
"Nothing's wrong." She answered. She smiled at Sakura serenely, almost convincing Sakura that nothing was wrong. Almost. Sakura knew her too well.
"Nothing's right, more like" Sakura frowned. "Don't go being secretive to me now. Tell me what's worrying you."
"Himitsu!" Tomoyo smiled. "You have enough to worry about already"
"You're not fair Tomoyo!" Sakura pouted playfully.
Tomoyo only laughed.
Sakura was still prying Tomoyo when she accidentally, literally bump into Syaoran.
"Gomenasai!" Sakura apologized, bowing. She still didn't know who she just bumped until she heard his voice.
"No harm done" Syaoran said.
Sakura straightened immediately. "Ohayo Li"
"Ohayo" Li smiled.
Sakura squeezed the hand of her best friend, who frowned slightly. Just one look at his face Sakura knew there was something amiss. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, she knew him far too well.
"What's the matter Li?" She asked.
"Huh?" Syaoran looked puzzled, no doubt wondering how she knew.
"Something's wrong, right? Did something happen?" Sakura was far too worried and eager to help that she didn't realize her actions could raise suspicion.
"Uh… it's nothing serious." He answered.
Stubborn! He's always so stubborn! "Perhaps I can help you?" Sakura pressed.
"I'll ask you when I'll need it" he said politely, too politely. Sakura heard the words that were left unspoken. I don't need your help. Mind your own business.
Sigh! She was back to being the friendly neighbor...
A neighbor nothing more…
Sakura smiled to hide the hurt. "Gomene" She whispered.
Syaoran caught the flicker of hurt in her eyes and it was wounding, but it was gone instantly.
"I didn't mean to press you" Before Syaoran could stop her, she walked past him going on her way, Tomoyo following right behind her.
"I didn't mean to hurt you too…" He whispered to no one since the person already left. Stupid! I'm such a fool!
She affects you strongly, doesn't she? A small voice taunted.
Shut up! Syaoran clenched his teeth.
You shouldn't have rejected her offer.
I don't care!
But you do!
Shut up already!
"If you feel so guilty, you should go and talk to her now" Someone said.
Syaoran looked up, it was his cousin Meilin.
"Meilin."
"Go now Syaoran or your conscience won't let you rest." Meilin said.
"How—?"
"Go" Meilin said firmly.
"I still have to take care of the things between Kari and me."
Meilin's eyes darkened.
"Very well then, just make sure you apologize" She muttered before turning around.
"Where are you going?" Syaoran asked.
"I still have classes Syaoran" Meilin said.
"Oh… see you later then…"
"I can't leave you because you don't want me to."
I can't possibly want him to stay. Tomoyo thought. She was sitting through her class. Here she felt safe. Here he can't go near her. She was actually afraid of him, the way he's breaking her shield. She was afraid of the feelings he stirred in her.
Damn the man for what he is doing to her! She just couldn't understand why he affected her so, when no one before ever moved her. It's funny how he changed her. She was always so calm, yet he managed to smash her composure. They regarded her to be so cool, no lover's fool yet now he confuses her. He's melting away her ice.
He's just a man.
An ordinary man.
And I'm but a girl… a helpless one…
I'm no one… to him…
God but it hurts…
The auburn haired girl walked aimlessly. Like it always did, her beauty intensifies in her sadness. She turned heads every corridor she passed. Her eyes were so solemn and the corners of her lips tilted ever so slightly downwards.
Maybe I'm being foolish!
Maybe I should quit already.
Maybe I should give him up!
There's no use waiting for something that's never going to happen. I should hate him for forgetting me and replacing me! I should!
But I can't…
I hate it…
Why is life so cruel to me! What have I done to deserve this? I guess my all wasn't enough for him…to forget me so.
I wish I could say that love is such a frail thing, never strong. But my own love proves that line of thought wrong.
Is love really that strong, Strong enough that forgetting doesn't erase it? If it's true… and God I couldn't help wishing it were, then there's hope yet. But if it isn't then I guess there's nothing left for me to do but to let go… and die in the process perhaps? Not literally maybe… then again maybe it wouldn't be so bad…
I don't know how to take this…
Suddenly Sakura found herself standing surrounded by the cherry blossom trees in their school. The very place where she had slept after Tomoyo chased her all over school because of that video tape.
She sank down and sat leaning on the tree. She was bringing her violin with her. Slowly, with great care she got her violin out and started to play a very sad tune. A tune of lonliness…
Of despair...
Of hopelessness…
Of sadness…
Of mellow hate…
Of longing…
Of love…
She poured her feelings along with her tears. Moving every person who heard her melody.
She made a picture of complete sadness, so frail, so fragile, and so beautiful that the wildest horse couldn't drag and stop the greatest painter to capture her magnificence.
I need you…
Why did you leave me for someone new?
Can't you hear it my love…
Can't you see it so pure like the white dove…
Can't you feel its embrace?
I lay here waiting, seeking for your solace…
Don't let me wait too long
My love hear my song
Hear my heart
Hear my soul
Don't be blind
Don't close your mind
Hear me my love
For I am lost
Save me, protect me once more
Tell I'm the one you've been fighting for
Tell me you love me
Tell me we are meant to be
Tell me you're mine
Tell me everything will be fine
Tell me you need me
Tell me you love me
Tell me…
Sakura sighed and looked up to the sky.
I should get going now. She thought getting up. She wiped her tears with the backs of her hands.
She got up and made her way towards her locker. Everyone still stared at her when she passed. They heard the music and they were certain who played it.
This was a hopeless love…
Maybe she should stop this madness…
She thought as she opened her locker.
A single white rose lay there. She frowned. Another one from her admirers. There was a note attached to it. She took it and read it.
… then again maybe not… a smile touched her lips.
There were only three words.
I'm sorry.
Li
A.N.Sigh! Finally I finished the chapter! Please review! I really need it. Sakura is so confusing in this chapter I know! She feels like giving up but part of her still wanted to go on… sigh! This story is going crazy. I might make some changes if I get bad feedbacks about it. But I can't promise I will, my laziness might overcome me. Anyway people review, review, review and REVIEW!
Since someone requested that I place the translations of the Japanese words I used here it is…
Otosan- Father
Oni-san- older brother
Iie- no (You must know this already still there might be some who don't)
Arigato- thank you
Ohayo- good morning
Honto- really?
Himitsu- secret