Disclaimer: Again, the SVU squad belong to the wonderful Dick Wolf. However, Cynthia, Alma, Misty and The Mallet belong to my wickedly brilliant mind... Oh who am I kidding – I'm not brilliant! Oh, well, enjoy this new chapter anyway!
Chapter 2: Confusion
When Olivia Benson awoke, it was raining. The sidewalk she lay on was wet and slick, she was soaked to the skin. She had a splitting headache, and there was a dull, pinching sort of pain at the back of her head. Olivia sat up, sighing, reached a hand to the painful spot, and felt dried blood.
That was when she remembered what happened.
"Elliot!" She gasped.
She jumped to her feet – her knees buckled, but she ignored them – and hurried, stumblingly, down the street. Which alley had he gone down? Was he still there? Was he dead?
She found the familiar alley and rushed down it. She scanned the area. There were signs of a struggle – garbage cans had been knocked over, and two discarded shirts were on the ground.
"Wait a minute…." Olivia muttered to herself.
She recognized the bloodied sweater to be Cynthia's – except it wasn't bloody anymore. What she had thought had been blood was now running off the sweater, thanks to the rain, and had made a pale, mottled reddish stain. She picked the sweater up, held it to her nose. Her suspicions were confirmed – it was ketchup. It was all starting to make sense now. Elliot had been kidnapped by that girl. And it wasn't just any ordinary girl…. Cynthia was a fangirl.
"Oh God, Elliot…." She whispered. She checked her watch. It was 5: 23. Almost two hours had passed. Elliot could be anywhere; they could be doing anything to him….
Olivia's mind was racing. She was trying to figure out how and where these girls might have taken him. Since there was a second T-shirt here – also covered in ketchup – it must have belonged to Cynthia's friend, Alma. But there was no way two teenaged girls could have forced Elliot into leaving with them. Unless he'd been knocked out, like she had been. But even then, Elliot would have been too heavy for just two skinny girls to carry. There had to have been a third accomplice – maybe even a fourth.
Olivia opened her cell phone. She had missed three calls – two from Cragen, one from Munch. She punched in Cragen's number.
Pause.
"Hello?" Cragen's voice was tense.
"Cragen, it's Olivia."
"Olivia! Thank God." His spoke to his apparent audience. "I've got Olivia on the line, shut up!" Back to Olivia. "Where are you?"
"Just down the street from Drapella's apartment and –" Olivia started to answer.
"Is Elliot with you?" Cragen interrupted.
"No, that's what I was trying to say –" She began.
"Oh good," He said. "We were all worried that you went home with each other and had sex. Didn't we, guys?"
There was a chorus of slightly muffled "yeahs".
"What! Why the hell would you think that?"
"Because Quirky Writer watched another SVU marathon and we all thought it had further addled her already sick and twisted mind." Cragen said. "Munch and Fin were worried that maybe she might want to write a slash fic, they've been avoiding each other all day."
"Cragen, that doesn't matter, this is serio-"
"It does so matter! If Quirky Writer HAD made you and Elliot have sex, then –"
"Would you pull your head out of your ass and listen to me?" Olivia screamed.
There was silence on the other end of the line. Olivia decided to take this as an apology.
"Look, Cragen, we never even got to our car this afternoon after we got Drapella, much less go home and bang each other. This girl came running to us, saying her best friend had been killed and Elliot rushed off to find her. The girl knocked me out, and I think they kidnapped Elliot."
"What?" Cragen was bewildered. "Are you sure?"
"Well he's not here!" Olivia snapped. "And he's in trouble, I know he is!"
"Why would some girls kidnap Stabler? I mean, he's probably old enough to be their father."
"Cragen…." Her voice became quiet. "They were fangirls."
She heard Cragen suck in his breath. There was a short pause. "Do you know where they might have gone?"
"No," Olivia said. She could feel tears rising, choking her throat, but her voice was steady. "I don't know."
"This is bad, Olivia… This is really, really bad."
"I know."
"There might be sing-a-longs."
"There might be episode trivia."
"Oh God, the trivia…. Olivia, we're all going to be on this case. We've only got a matter of time before the trail goes cold. We've got to find Elliot."
Elliot awoke in a small room. He could hear the buzz of a TV somewhere in the background. He was sitting in a chair, his head resting on his chest. His hands were bound behind his back. His eyesight was bleary, his head hurt vaguely. There was a sudden, faint whispering sound, and some giggles, and then a frantic, "Shut up!"
"Elliot?" A distinctly female voice said.
He raised his head. Someone was sitting next to him, but it was dark, and he couldn't see who she was.
"Elliot? Are you awake?"
"Mmm…" He mumbled.
"Would 'mmm' be a yes?"
"Where am I?" Elliot asked. His head was spinning. "Who are you people?"
There was more whispering and giggling. They sounded oddly like the Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz. Elliot hated that movie…. Those damn flying monkeys always scared the crap out of him when he was a kid. Monkeys aren't supposed to fly, much less wear little hats and vests! It's just unnatural….
The lights flipped on.
"SURPRISE!"
The light had dazzled Elliot; he could barely see a thing. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision.
Then everything cleared, and the room came into full view.
And all thoughts of the flying monkeys were gone.
Three grinning girls were seated at the table in front of him. They all wore sparkly, pointed party hats in bright colors; one had a noisemaker in her hand and another was holding a gigantic, white-frosted cake. On the pale, bluish walls there were posters of the SVU team, in every situation, some of them even freeze-frame pictures that had probably been Googled, then blown up and hung on the wall. In the corner of the room, there was a guitar, a set of keyboards and a clarinet. A TV was in another corner, very close to some stairs – we're in someone's basement! Elliot realized.
And hung above it all, there were multi-colored streamers, and a bright purple and yellow banner that read:
WE LOVE YOU ELLIOT!
Please don't be mad at us for kidnapping you.
"…. What the hell is all this?"
"We," said the girl in the middle, who Elliot suddenly recognized to be Cynthia, the girl who had started this whole crazy mess in the first place. "Wanted to welcome you to our humble abode in the nicest, most sophisticated way. Want some cake?"
"Uh, no, look –"
"Are you sure? It's really delicious."
"No thanks, I –"
"I made it myself. From scratch."
"LOOK, I don't want any damn cake!" Elliot shouted. "I just want to know what I'm doing here? Where am I?"
There was a short pause.
"You're tense," The girl on the left, Alma, Elliot realized, piped up. "That's understandable, considering the circumstances. Would you like a soothing neck massage?"
"No!"
"Or I could massage your shoulders, if you'd like. Or even your privates, I learned how to do it in this weird, karma-sutra sex class thingie I went to with my friends. Although that might be sort of awkward since we just met."
"I don't want you touching me." Elliot said through gritted teeth. "No massages. None. At all. Ever. Now could you please tell me where I am at?"
"You," The girl on the right, a chubby redhead, said. "Are in The Fort."
"The Fort, the Fort, the Fort, the Fort…." Alma and Cynthia echoed dramatically.
"O.…kay…. And you are?..."
"Misty Roseanna Ambrose!" Misty exclaimed, standing up and curtsying.
"Okay. So, uh, Misty," Elliot switched gears, deciding to be more personable. He might get more information if they didn't know he really wanted to kill them right now. "Can you tell me how you got me here? I'm sort of hazy on the details."
"Oh you're so silly, Elliot," She snickered. "I hit you with The Mallet and then you passed out. And then we put you in my car and drove you here, to The Fort."
Misty let out a loud, shuddering gasp. "Ooooh! Do you want to see The Mallet?"
Alma and Cynthia groaned.
"Shut up, bitches!"
Misty whipped off her party hat and then ran up the stairs, taking them two by two.
There was silence. Cynthia and Alma were now beaming at Elliot.
"Look," Cynthia said. "I think we all got off on the wrong foot – what with me and Alma tricking you and all. I'd like to formally apologize for my actions, but, to be honest, I think all this is for the best."
"How so?" Elliot was suspicious.
"Well, now I can pick apart your brain piece by piece," Cynthia said cheerfully.
After seeing the horrified look on Elliot's face, Cynthia hastily added, "Not in the literal sense, of course. I'm eighteen, I'm going to college soon, and I'm hoping to become a cop and work in the Special Victim's Unit, like you and Olivia. But I've got a lot to learn, so I thought to myself: who's the most brilliant, toughest, sexiest police officer ever? And then it came to me – DUH! Elliot Stabler! So that's why you're here."
She beamed again.
"So, let me get this straight," Elliot blinked. "You kidnapped me so you could ask me questions about my job?"
"Yes!" Cynthia nodded enthusiastically.
"Well then, what about you?" Elliot looked over at Alma. "Why did you want to kidnap me, too?"
"I want to jump your bones." Alma said brightly.
SLAM!
Misty came running back down the stairs, clutching a giant blow-up mallet.
"This," She said grandly, brandishing The Mallet with utmost reverence. "Is The Mallet."
"Yeah, that's really nice…."
Misty's excited face immediately fell. "I can sense your sarcasm, Elliot. And it hurts me."
"I'm sorry," Elliot apologized hastily. He didn't like the suddenly crazy look in Misty's eyes. "I'm just not too thrilled to be here. I'm flattered that you ladies took such an interest in me and my job, but what you're doing isn't right. I want to go home and see my family. So could you please just let me go?"
"No." Misty said tonelessly. In the background, Cynthia and Alma exchanged a look – a look that made Stabler a little nervous.
However, he continued. "Please, Misty? I want to leave. I'm not happy here."
"No," Misty said again.
"Misty," Elliot's tone was harsher now. "Eventually the police are going to find us. My partner is going to find you and she's going to make sure your sorry ass stays in jail for a long time. You should just give yourself up and let me go home."
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Misty screeched suddenly. "You're not LEAVING!"
Misty brought The Mallet down on the cake with incredible force, and the cake splattered, sending gigantic globs of white frosting and spongy chocolate flying everywhere.
"Case closed." She said calmly.
A/N: Heh heh…. Damn those SVU marathons! They cause nothing but trouble. And for those of you who are scratching your heads and saying, "How is this a sequel to The Kiss?", to answer your question, I'm calling it a 'sort-of' sequel because I'm using elements and plot facets from The Kiss that I think benefit Kidnapping – e.g., the fanatic fangirls, and my omnipresent self. Just wanted to clear that up. And you can expect updates to "Kidnapping Elliot Stabler" every Saturday, or Friday. Ciao!
Love,
Q.W.