Disclaimer: QuirkyWriter strums a guitar and sings in a warbly soprano voice:

I own nothing

It is not mine

Almost everything belongs to

Dick Wolf the divine!

Well, except for Cynthia

And Alma and Misty

They belong to me

Which ain't too shabby!

Oh, and Marty Webber

And his lover Adeline

And don't forget the Mallet

All of that is miiiiiiine!

Chapter 4: Shock

For about an hour, the trio of girls had been perfectly content watching a re-run of Law and Order: CI and making fun of Goron's "ass chin" and Eane's "really oogly hair". Elliot, however, was beginning to feel quite a lot of pain; his wrists were aching, as were his arms, after being pinned back behind him in one place for so long. Not to mention the fact that he'd been sitting in a rather hard, uncomfortable chair for about three hours, so his ass was in a surprisingly large amount of pain. And on top of that, he was hungry, too.

"Uh, hey…. Guys? Girls," He corrected himself hastily. All eyes swiveled towards him in anticipation of what he would say. "Ladies. Er, whatever…. I don't mean to complain, but I am really hungry, and –"

At once, Misty let out a shuddering gasp, Cynthia's hands flew to her mouth in horror, and Alma instantly flung herself across the room and latched herself onto Elliot's legs.

"I am so sorry!" Alma gasped. "I am! I am so, so, so sorry! This cannot go unpunished! You must teach me a lesson! Spank me!"

"Get off!" Elliot kicked out and Alma somersaulted backwards.

Misty looked very distressed. "I hadn't even thought of that!" She gasped. "Or…. Oh my God! What about a bed? Where's he going to sleep? Who's going to sleep with him to make sure he doesn't escape?"

"Oooh! Oooh! Me! Me! Me!" Alma jumped up and down.

"Let's just focus on the most pressing matter as of right now," Cynthia said in a composed voice. "Food."

"Right. Okay." Misty looked over at Elliot. "What sounds good to you? I could cook, I could go out and get you something… Whatever you want."

"Oh, I don't know…." Elliot began, but his mind was racing. What was the most outlying, rarest, most difficult food to get? Or make? The more time he had the better chance he had of finding a phone, or sneaking up the stairs, or finding his gun again.

"Maybe if you hadn't smashed the cake I baked then we wouldn't have this problem," Cynthia glared at Misty accusingly. "Then Elliot could have just eaten that. It looked delicious, didn't it El?"

"Uh yeah, sure,"

"Ha! Hear that?" Cynthia was smug. "He thought my cake looked delicious!"

"Bitch..." Misty glared at her.

"You know, MY cake is –" Alma began, but, in order to keep the fic T-rated, Cynthia hastily interrupted and spoke to Elliot.

"So what do you want?"

The pressure was on…. What should he say? All eyes were fixed on him, awaiting his answer.

"… White Castle," He said, slowly.

"White Castle?" Cynthia looked sickened. "You want White Castle?"

"Oh God," Alma moaned softly, and clutched her stomach. "I can practically feel the fat seeping through my porn-worthy body, making my taut abs and thighs flabby and fat…."

"Shut up!" Misty ordered. "If White Castle is what he wants, then White Castle is what he gets."

"…. But it's disgusting…." Alma's little nose wrinkled at the thought of it.

"I like it," Elliot said bluntly, although it wasn't true. He'd had it maybe twice, and both experiences had resulted in outright lethal farts for all who had eaten it.

"…. But on the upside, it would make my boobs larger," Alma winked at him.

"Are there even any in New York?" Cynthia mumbled to herself.

"I'm sure you can find one," Elliot said brightly. "I have faith in you."

"Okay," Cynthia didn't look pleased at all. "So who's going?"

"I'll buy if I can stay here with Elliot!" Alma said eagerly.

Nooooooo! Elliot inwardly screamed.

"Are you sure?" Misty eyed her suspiciously.

"Uh huh!" She nodded and added solemnly. "And I swear, if he tries to make love to me then I shall put an immediate stop to his preposterous behavior. Girl Scout's honor!" She held up two fingers.

"You were only a Girl Scout for a month, Alma." Cynthia said.

"Go away."

"In that case," Misty said. "Cynthia, why don't you go ahead and get the food, and I'll stay here and watch Alma watch Elliot."

"No!" Alma wailed. "Go away, Misty! Can't you just leave Elliot and me for five minutes?... Wait…" She studied him intensely for a second. "…. Actually, make that ten."

"…. I don't think so."

"Pleeeeeeeeease?"

"No!" Misty looked over at Cynthia. "My purse is upstairs, take what you need. And just get me a hamburger and fries."

"Ditto." Alma said.

"Me too," Added Elliot.

"Burgers and fries are all that White Castle has…." Cynthia muttered to herself as she headed up the stairs, leaving Misty and Alma to care for Elliot.

Olivia and Kathy found Alma Prescott's apartment after a couple of wrong turns and running through a number of stop signs. This was mostly Kathy's fault, as she was supposed to be navigating but was instead jabbering on about how she was going to "rip those little bitches to shreds" once she got a hold of them. Olivia was pissed off. She had tried to convince Cragen to make Kathy stay away, but he had countered that Kathy would probably kill him if he didn't let her help them find Elliot.

"And besides," He had added. "It's not going to do any harm."

"But she's not a cop!" Olivia had snapped.

"... Olivia, she's going to kill me."

"I'll get over it eventually."

"I don't want to die!"

"SHE'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Olivia!" Kathy screamed, appearing behind them suddenly, waving a piece of paper impatiently. "I've got the directions! Get off your lazy ass, let's get going and find Alma's place."

"If anyone's getting killed," Olivia muttered through gritted teeth to Cragen. "It's her."

"What's that?" Kathy asked sharply.

"Nothing…."

An hour and a half later, Olivia finally pulled in front of an apartment complex. She got out of the car and started towards the complex, Kathy hurrying behind her. They climbed a few flights of stairs before they reached Alma's apartment, number thirty-nine.

"Let me do the talking, all right?" Olivia said to Kathy, reaching out to knock on the door.

Kathy mumbled something rude under her breath that probably had to do with Olivia being a "female dog", but Olivia decided to ignore her, and she rapped loudly on the door.

"Who is it?" A man's voice came from behind the door somewhere.

This had to be Marty Webber, Alma's live-in boyfriend. Munch had told her that Alma lived with someone.

"Police," Olivia replied in a loud voice. "Could you please open the door?"

There was a short pause.

"But I didn't do nuthin'!" Came the reply.

"We just have some questions about your girlfriend Alma Prescott." Kathy suddenly said. Olivia turned and glared at her fiercely. Kathy stuck out her tongue at her.

There was a sudden cry of, "Oh shit!" followed by, "Hide me, Marty! Where can I hide?"

"Marty!" Olivia shouted.

"Is Alma out there with you!"

"No," Kathy said. "We're looking for her. That's why we have questions for you."

"Kathy –"

But the door quickly swung open, and Marty Webber stood in front of them, wearing a T-shirt and boxers.

And Olivia and Kathy were both silent when they saw him.

Marty Webber bore an eerie, striking resemblance to Elliot – perhaps what Elliot had looked like in his twenties. Marty was tall, broad shouldered, dark-haired, and blue-eyed. The only difference between Marty and Elliot, besides age, was the fact that, unlike Elliot, Marty seemed rather anxious and jumpy. He had a pushover demeanor that suggested that Alma held quite a lot of power in their relationship.

"Er… Marty Webber?" Olivia asked falteringly.

"Yeah, that's me." He said with a tight nod.

"Could we come in?" Kathy inquired.

"You're the police?" He said, looking nervous.

"Yes, I'm Detective Benson."

"Then who's she?" Marty nodded to Kathy.

"She's just along for the ride," Olivia interjected before Kathy could speak. "I'll be asking you the questions. Could I come inside?"

"Well I've uh... I've got company." And Marty blushed.

"I think she can wait ten minutes," Olivia responded primly.

Marty stepped back, and let them in, and then shut the door. There was a loud squeal from somewhere, and a door slammed.

"So I take it this company isn't your girlfriend." Olivia said. She sat down on the couch, as did Kathy. Marty sat in a chair opposite them.

He blushed again at the statement. "No…. She's my co-worker."

"How long have you and Alma been together?" Olivia asked and took out her pen and paper.

"Almost a year," He said. "She just moved in with me a month ago."

"But I assume you're not a happy couple?"

"Not anymore..." Marty sighed. "If she's not at work then she's watching TV with her friends…. She doesn't give me any attention. I get lonely." He let out a great sniff.

"Which friends does she watch TV with?" Olivia leaned in closer, writing furiously.

"Oh, uh…. Cynthia Kinney, who's a friend of Alma's little sister's, too, and some chick named Misty."

"Does Misty have a last name?"

"I can't remember it, sorry."

"Do you know where or how Misty and Alma met?"

"Um…. One of those weird fan club chat room thingies. Misty started a local one, and Cynthia and Alma joined it. Don't know what it's called. But Misty and Alma really hit it off, they're best pals."

"Let me guess," Kathy said suddenly. "It's a Law and Order: SVU fan club?"

"Yeah, how'd ya know?" Marty shrugged. "I never watched the show myself…. I'm against people raping other people. And to film it while it happens? That's just wrong."

"It's about cops solving cases involving sex crimes, you idiot!" Kathy growled. "Not about people raping each other!"

"…. Oh."

"Do you have a phone number or address for either Misty or Cynthia?" Olivia said, impatient.

"No, I don't think so," He shrugged again. "Sorry."

"You suck." Kathy stood. "Come on Olivia."

"I'm not done yet, Kathy," She sent the woman a withering stare.

"Oh…. Sorry…."

She sat back down.

"When did you last see Alma?" Olivia continued.

"This morning. I woke up, showered, and when I came out she was dressed and ready to go. Said she had the day off and Misty was coming to get her and they were going to go have some fun. Then she left. And I sat down and cried. And then I called Adeline. And then she came over and we had sex, and then we got tired and did –"

"We don't need the details." Olivia rolled her eyes. "And you haven't gotten any phone calls from Alma or anything?"

"None." Marty shook his head.

"All right…. Well that's about all we need from you as of right now. Thank you." Olivia stood.

Once they were back in the car, Kathy spoke.

"What do we do now?"

"We find this Cynthia girl," Olivia said.

There was a pause.

"….. That was really creepy back there." Kathy said quietly.

"Yeah…. I know." Olivia said. "But at least we know now that Alma definitely has a fascination with Elliot."

"She apparently likes sleeping with a guy who looks like him, at any rate…." Kathy said.

There was another pause.

And then they both had the same horrible thought, at the same time.

"Oh my God."

"Holy crap."

They looked at each other.

"She… She…. She…. She's going to…. force herself upon him!" Kathy exclaimed. "But that's MY right! Only I can be the object of his lust! THAT'S IT! Olivia, step on it! I'm going to find that filthy slut before he gets her slimy paws on my hubby!"

To which Olivia said, "If she hasn't already, you mean."

And Kathy got pale.

Olivia felt like she might throw up.

The guy with the flashlight sat up in the backseat and cried, "BUM BUM BUUUUUM!"

A/N: I just wanted to apologize really quick for a few of the typos in the last chapter. Normally that never happen to me because I'm a stickler for spelling and grammar. But I think that what happened was that the keys on my keyboard froze up. So that's why there were some typos. That won't happen again – knock on wood. But if it does, just know that it's not me making an amateur mistake, it's my piece of crap laptop. Also…. I know a few of you were a little annoyed that I inserted Kathy into the story. So I want all of you, in your reviews to tell me truthfully – should I keep Kathy or ditch Kathy? Be honest. I'm writing this story to entertain, not to annoy. I can easily work either option into my story; it's just up to all of you…. And how about that season premiere? I was just utterly mesmerized! What a turn – Elliot undercover as a sex offender. That was definitely a wickedly wonderful episode. I think this season is going to be amazing. Anyway…. That's all! See you next week, in the next chapter of "Kidnapping Elliot Stabler"!

Love,

Q.W.