The Lonely Hearts Club
Written for The O.C Missing Scene Challenge Season Two
Kirsten sat on her bed, absent-mindedly reading a book with her mind focused elsewhere. She saw the look on his face; when she shut that door she saw the guilt pass across then followed by the exasperated. That had been half an hour ago, 30 minutes ago since she shut the door in her husband's face, unable to deal with the endless possibilities of where and what he could have been doing.
Her mind travelled away from the novel she was reading to a more appropriate topic, Sandy. Apart from the timid knocking and apologies that followed the door in his face she had heard nothing. Where had he gone? Was he with her? Her chest constricted at the prospect of that, of Sandy once again running away from her and towards Rebecca.
"Sandy?"
She quietly called out, begging inside for a reply, just a glimmer of hope that he was still there waiting for her.
"Yeah?"
The reply was delayed but nonetheless it was there. His voice was calm yet impatient, upset yet frustrated.
He turned the door knob knowing that this had gone on long enough. As he opened the door he noticed Kirsten sitting there staring up at him. Her eyes no longer conveyed that awe and amazement, just disappointment. He saw the slight puffiness of her eyes and the redness, She's been crying, he thought to himself, mentally kicking himself for his ignorance.
No words passed between them yet that connection they had was damaged, temporarily or permanent it was hard to tell but it had been broken. Their trust had been broken, like when a teenager spends the night out after curfew he had done the same; broken the rules, the rules of marriage.
He gingerly crept across the room as his mind flashed the last half hour's happenings. He remembered Kirsten softly shutting the door in his face, forcefully but peaceful at the same time. He remembered hearing Kirsten lean up against the door only to slide down and curl up against herself to muffle her sobs. He remembered his whisperings, floating through the door but not mattering anymore, what he said didn't matter at all.
As he made his way further across his room and to his side of the bed he felt the tension in the air as Kirsten's body tensed along with it.
He swiftly slipped underneath the covers bearing the uncomforting and uneasy nature the surrounded them trying with all he could to brush them off, make it feel like it wasn't there.
But she noticed and couldn't take it anymore. She gingerly lifted up the covers as she crept into the bed, facing away from Sandy. As the silence took over, her tears began to well up before sliding down her cheeks as her shoulders gently convulsed.
Noticing the trembling of her slight frame, he gently reached across and tentatively put a supporting hand on her shoulder. She softly closed her eyes, relishing in his touch and for a moment forgetting about the events of the past hour. Her breathing became ragged and raspy as she knew the man plaguing her thoughts was lying right behind her, hand placed upon her shoulder in one last salvage for the day.
"Do you want me to go?" He enquired, breaking the silence.
"No Sandy, I don't! That's the whole point, I didn't want you to go then and I don't now because chances are you'll just be running back to her!"
"If by her you are referring to Rebecca, I was saying goodbye, that's all."
"That's all? So nothing happened?"
"Yes, of course nothing happened."
"Don't lie to me, Sandy. You spend 3 hours there on Valentine's night and you expect me to believe you when you say that nothing happened." With that she stormed angrily off towards the shower.
She turned the shower up past hot and stepped in surrounded by the clouds of steam. She felt the burn of the water as her skin immediately went red but became oblivious to that as another set of tears streamed down her face, mixing with the shower water as they washed down the drain.
"Don't you trust me?" He questioned, hidden to Kirsten from the steam, now in a quieter, softer tone.
"Oh… I do, I'm just not sure. You can't fault me for being insecure when it comes to things like these."
"I'm not; I just want you to believe me."
"How can you expect me to, I can't believe a lie."
He paced around the room before answering, the guilt evidently eating him up.
"Why do you think I'm lying?"
"I can just tell. I've been in love with you for well over 20 years, of course I can tell these things. Just tell me what happened."
He paused as his aimless circles came to a halt and looked down at his feet before his eyes returned to those of Kirsten's.
"Well, I kissed her goodbye…"
The words flowed from his mouth, not smoothly as if they were meant to be said but as if they were covering something deeper, something that didn't want to be unveiled.
"What kind of kiss?"
Her question was sharp as she waited for the answer, needing to know more but afraid of what was to come.
"Uh…"
"Oh…" Her face dropped as it dawned on her. "Is she leaving?" She questioned knowing that she was most likely staying now.
"No, she's going to stay for a while."
"So you can continue to run to her and she can continue to tear holes in our marriage?"
Her voice escalated as her anger and pain became more apparent. She quickly climbed out of the shower and wrapped herself up in a towel before turning back towards Sandy.
"I thought I could pretend but I just can't get over the fact that you're not getting something from me. I thought that I could pretend that I don't feel hurt, but I can't."
"I don't want you to pretend, I just want you to not hurt if that makes any sense. Please hang in there, for me?"
"Why? So after she's gone you can turn back to me and hope that everything will be okay again? So that you can see if anything will work out between you two and I'll always be there as your reserve, your second prize?"
"No, what's brought this upon you? I love you and nothing's changing that, I just feel like a have a debt to Max, I owe him this."
"But what about me? You made a promise to me 20 years ago to cherish and love me until death do we part and Sandy, you're not dead."
Unable to fight any longer, unable to defend himself any longer he walked with his head bowed towards their bed once again. He dejectedly clambered in for a second time and moments later felt a dip in the mattress as Kirsten cautiously entered the other side, far away from her husband.
He pulled her up towards him and passionately kissed her on the lips, pulling back to see her eyes wide open in amazement yet still hurt, still distressed.
"All I ask is for you to believe that." He whispered before pausing for a moment. "I love you…"
She rolled over, lying beneath the covers trying to grasp at sleep that refused to come. Sandy's arm suddenly made its way over, lightly resting upon her shoulder yet again. For a moment she revelled in the touch before finally allowing her own hand to reach up and hold on to it, hold on for hope.