Deer Rus, Ant Peechez, and Linn,
Hi Who ar yew? I am fyine. I am in Meksikow! It is so beyooteeful!. You gize wuld like tha beech. I hope its naught tew cold in Stoniebrooke for yew gize! Maybee I will bring yoo baq sum sand. Rite now the BSC is triang to raze som monee for a speshul cawz. I decyded to help by selling charictuars. Thoz ar peectures of peepul that ar funnee. In case yoo didant nowe. I miss yoo!
Kisses,
Clawdeeyah
The next morning I got up extra early to set up my caricatures stand. First I scanned my suitcases for an outfit that was extra exotic, artistic, and mature. After a brief deliberation I decided to go for a modified beatnik look. I put on a black bikini top, and some loose fitting black silk pants. Around my waist I tied a long black scarf (borrowed from Stacey), and to my top I pinned a button with a picture of Andy Warhol on it. I put a few thin braids into my long black hair, and then plopped a beret on my head. I put on dark red lipstick, and drew a dark mole by the right corner of my upper lip. Lastly I borrowed a pair of black 5 inch stiletto heels from Stacey, completing my look. I was one hip cat.
"Wow Claud, great outfit!" Stacey exclaimed as I strutted out of the bathroom. Stacey had to decided to do makeovers and fashion consulting to help raise money. Her current client was a chubby 6th grader named Kristina.
"Well my first bit of advice for you would be that you should lose about 40 pounds," I overheard Stacey telling Kristina. Jeez.
Ignoring them I pulled a piece of poster board out of one of my bags to make a sign for my stand.
"Hmmm," I thought for a moment about how it should look. I glanced over at Stacey and Kristina and had a great idea.
Across the top of the poster board I scrawled the words "Kariktures by Clawdeeyah Keeshy, famus Amairikan Ardist". The "famous American artist" part was a bit of a lie, but I had been in many art shows, and the money was for a good cause. Under the words I sketched a picture of Stacey and Kristina. I drew Kristina sitting in the chair, her round facial features prominent and glowing. Then I put Stacey standing over her, with a big 100 watt smile, running a comb through Kristina's hair. It looked super dibble.
"Hey, check it out!" I said, showing them my work.
"Wow," they both said smiling.
"It looks really nice," Kristina said. "The spelling is really creative too."
"Huh?" I asked, looking at my work. I thought I had done a good job on the wording.
I saw Stacey slap Kristina on the side of the head and then smile at me. "She doesn't know what she's talking about Claud. She is only in the 6th Grade".
"Oh right," I said, nodding knowingly. 6th Graders could be pretty immature. "Well, I'm off," I grabbed my bag of supplies, my easel and my poster and headed out the door.
I decided to set up outside on the sidewalk of our hotel. It was on a pretty busy street, and there would probably be a lot of students around. I taped my sign to the wall behind me and then set up my easel and sketch pad. I had also brought down my pastels, colored pencils, and my really expensive drawing pens. I sat down on one of two chairs I had taken from the lobby of the hotel and munched on a Kit Kat bar while I waited for my first customer.
"Hey Claudia," I heard a familiar voice say from my left. I turned to see my old boyfriend Trevor Sandbourne standing there with Alan Gray, another boy I had dated, and Austin Bentley, who I had also dated.
"Hey guys, want a cariture?" I asked eagerly. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and winked at the three of them. "Its for a good cause".
"Well sure!" Austin said, sitting in the other chair I had brought. "How much?"
"How about, $20 for all three of you?" I asked. It seemed like a fair price.
"$20!" Alan groaned. "C'mon Claud, don't we get an ex-boyfriend rate of something?"
"C'mon guys, its for a good cause," Trevor said, moving closer to me. "And its Claud. You look really pretty today Claudia," Trevor said, running his fingers through my hair.
"Yeah thanks," I said, scooting my chair away. Trevor was really cute but he was kind of creepy. Before we started dating he used to call me while I was babysitting and not say anything. He would just breathe into the receiver! It was so stale and really weird. We started dating after that, but I guess I wasn't as attractive to him when he didn't have to stalk me anymore. But sometimes I would still catch him sniffing my dirty gym clothes or digging through the garbage cans outside of my house. It was kind of adorable.
Just then Mark Jaffe, another one of my ex-boyfriends strolled up. "Hey guys, what's going on?" he asked eying the group.
"Well it looks like Claudia is painting a portrait of every guy at SMS she's been to first base with," Alan joked.
"You only got to first base?" Mark scoffed, making Alan's face turn bright red. I could sense things were about to get a little heated so I decided to take charge.
"Okay guys, everyone pose, this one is on the house!" I said picking up a couple of my pens. I thought for a couple seconds before coming up with a brilliant concept for the drawing.
After 15 minutes I was finished. "Voila!" I said as I turned my easel towards the boys. I had drawn myself in a long evening gown, looking glamorous. I drew each boy in a tux looking at me hopefully as I clutched a rose in my hands, smiling coyly. It was Claudia's The Bachelorette!
"Funny Claud," Austin said sarcastically as he stood up. The rest of the boys soon followed, glaring at me disgusted and walking away. How stale. I took the drawing and taped it to the wall behind me next to my sign. Then I waited.
And waited.
And…. waited.
After about an hour someone finally approached me. "Hey we'll take a caricature," a young couple said approaching me.
"Oh, are you American?" I asked them. They didn't have accents like everyone else around.
"Yes, yes. We're from Pennsylvania. We've been doing some missionary work here," the woman answered. She looked about 25, had long straight brown hair like Mary Anne used to, and her face and arms were covered in brown freckles.
"Missionary work?" I said, rubbing my chin. "Sounds interesting. I'm American too, well Japanese American. In case you couldn't tell by my loooong black hair and exotically beautiful looks."
"Mmmhmm," the man said sitting down in one of the chairs. "Well that sounds interesting. I'm Jeb and this is Laura," he said, nodding towards the brown haired girl. Jeb was cute. He had dark curly hair and ice blue eyes. He was about 5'9 and thin. And he had dimples. I flipped my looonng black hair over one shoulder and winked at him.
"Well, Jeb its $10 for a caricature. It's for a good cause".
"Okay, I think we could sacrifice $10 for charity," Jeb said, relaxing in his seat.
"Great! Don't worry I already have a great idea for your picture," I said as I began sketching the two of them. "You know, Laura is such a pretty name. I know a baby named Laura, Laura Perkins. She's sooo cute. She has two sisters, Gabbie and Maryiah."
"Oh that's nice," Laura said, smiling. "I love children."
"Me too!" I said enthusiastically. "I'm apart of a babysitting club back in Connecticut. We sit for all kinds of kids. My favorites are the Newtons, Jamie and Lucy. Lucy is another baby. Soo cute." I went on to tell Jeb and Laura about The Pikes, the Rodowskys, and the Barrett/DeWitts.
After about 20 minutes I was finished. "Okay, are you ready?" I asked them, smiling excitedly. I had worked really hard on this one, and hopefully they'd pay extra for my efforts. I turned my drawing towards Jeb and Laura and watched their pleasant smiling faces twist with disgust.
"What in the world!" Jeb said, his mouth agape in disbelief.
"Oh my!" Laura gasped, turning away and covering her eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked, shocked. "I thought I did a really good job on your freckles Laura."
"Why did you draw us…. Like that!" Jeb asked, shaking his head from side to side.
"Duhhh, you said you're here doing missionary work," I said, rolling my eyes.
"We're doing the Lord's work, not… fornicating," Laura said defensively.
I still didn't understand. What the heck is fornicating? I had simply drawn Jeb laying on top of Laura, each of them flushed and sweaty. Doing the missionary, just like I had read about in Stacey's October issue of Cosmo.
"You said missionary, I drew missionary," I said forcibly. "Pay up."
"A fool like you probably needs this money more than we do," Jeb said, throwing a $10 bill at me. With that, he and Laura stormed off, shaking their heads and glaring back at me.
At this rate, Dawn would be 80 by the time I made my share of her bail money.