Chapter Six

Bad Memories and Paper Flowers

ONE

Four days after his confrontation with Mike, Severus was thoroughly annoyed. Potter was keeping himself confined in his bedroom, emerging on occasion to send his owl off to someone. The boy seemed almost shy after learning the nature of Severus and Mike's relationship. Mike was keeping away as Severus had ordered, but Severus still couldn't figure out the key ingredient in his new potion.

Severus sat on his couch, going over his notes while he waited for Mike to arrive. He had decided that Mike had had enough time for thinking. Twenty minutes after being called, Mike came into Severus' quarters looking pristine. Severus ignored him and scribbled in his notebook. He made Mike wait a full five minutes before acknowledging him.

"Sit down, Mike," he said indifferently.

Mike sat in one of the leather chairs without comment.

"I hope that this will be the last time I have to punish you," Severus said, not looking up.

"I've learned my lesson, Caretaker," Mike said quietly.

"Good," Severus replied. "Don't call me 'Caretaker' when we are alone. 'Severus' is fine."

"Yes, Severus," Mike said.

"Good. Now, Lucius has invited us to a gathering. I want you in your finest dress robes for the occasion."

Mike nodded.

"The gathering will be held on Saturday at Lucius' estate," Severus went on. "Things between us can go back to the way they were now. Just remember your place in the future."

"I will, Severus," Mike replied. He got up and walked over to Severus, kneeling on the floor in front of the older man. He ran his hands over the outside of Severus' thighs.

Severus watched his Vent quietly as Mike turned apologetic eyes on him. Mike continued to rub Severus' thighs as they looked at each other silently.

"Let me make it up to you," Mike purred seductively. "What do you want me to do?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Do what you want," he said.

"I want to take you, right here on the couch," Mike said.

"As appealing as that sounds," Severus deadpanned. "You seem to have forgotten that I have a teenaged house guest who would be none too thrilled if he walked through and saw his Potions professor having sex with his male lover."

Mike made a sour face.

"I would be glad to take you into the bedroom though," Severus said, restraining a chuckle.

Mike leaned up from his position on the floor and gently pressed his lips to Severus'. Severus felt Mike's tongue skirt across his bottom lip and opened his mouth slightly. They deepened the kiss, Mike allowing Severus to retain dominance.

Severus pulled away and lifted Mike into his lap. He then carried the blonde into the bedroom and closed the door, placing Mike on the bed.

"How do you want me, Mike?" Severus asked. It was very rare for him to give up control in his sexual encounters. By doing so, he was letting Mike know that he was forgiven.

"On your back," Mike replied in a low voice. Severus did as he was told and waited for Mike to continue. Mike straddled Severus and began to take off his own shirt slowly. He bent down and started on the buttons of Severus' robes. As the robes fell away, Severus' bare chest was revealed. Mike started kissing down Severus' stomach, removing clothing as he went. Soon both men were naked.

"Touch me, Severus," Mike said as he leaned over to reach the lubricant. Severus complied and began to explore Mike's toned body with his hands. Mike kissed every inch of skin he could find and then pulled Severus' arms toward the head of the bed. He held Severus' arms by the wrists as he began to prepare Severus for him.

As Severus tried to move his arms, his mind went back to a time when things were not so passionate. He could feel burning ropes on his wrists, cutting into his skin as he tried to get free. A cold sweat broke out over his body he was taken without preparation or consent, and all he could see was the blonde hair and cruel gray eyes of Lucius Malfoy. He lashed out in fear.

"No!" he cried, and threw the imposing body to the floor. He sat bolt upright in the bed and put his face in his hands, hiding from the memories that were consuming him.

"Severus?" a concerned voice asked from somewhere to Severus' right.

Obsidian eyes opened to find concerned gray eyes staring back.

"Are you all right, Severus?" Mike asked.

Severus took a deep breath and let it out shakily. "I'm fine," he said. "I'm sorry." All traces of his previous arousal were lost in intense fear. "I think you should leave."

"Okay, Severus," Mike said. He stood up and began to collect his clothes. He dressed quietly, casting furtive glances at Severus. "Good night," he said softly, and left without closing the bedroom door.

Severus sat for nearly ten minutes, trying to clear his mind of thoughts of his school days, but failing miserably. He was finally dragged from his thoughts by terrible screaming from Potter's room. Severus launched himself out of bed and grabbed his dressing gown, tying it as he walked. The screaming stopped just as he entered Potter's bedroom.

Potter was on the bed, conscious and whimpering, curled into a protective ball. Severus sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Potter into his lap.

"W-where were y-you?" Potter asked weakly.

"I came as soon as I heard you scream," Severus replied. He summoned a potion from Potter's night table and helped Potter to drink it. The shaking slowed, but didn't go away. Severus began to worry about nerve damage.

"It hurts," Potter said quietly.

"Sh," Severus cooed. "Try to sleep."

Potter immediately pulled closer to Severus, shaking his head.

"No," he said. "I don't wanna sleep."

"Why ever not?"

"It hurts to sleep. Please don't make me sleep."

Severus pulled the boy closer protectively and found that he was holding Potter's hand. "I'll find a way, Harry," he said. "I'm already trying."

Potter moved slightly and gave Severus a strange look.

"What's wrong?" Severus asked.

"You said my name," Potter replied.

"I always use your name, Potter,"Severus said with the air of one explaining that one and one equals two.

"No," Potter sighed. "You said 'Harry'. You called me 'Harry'."

Did I? Severus stared at Harr – er – Potter. "So sorry," he said after a moment of bewildered silence.

"No," Potter said. "I like it better that way. Please don't keep calling me 'Potter'."

"Does it really bother you that much?"

"Yes," Potter replied. "It does."

Severus looked at Harry closely, reading the lingering pain in the boy's eyes.

"Okay, Pot – Harry," he said at last. "I'll try to remember."

Pot – Harry began to relax into Severus' arms and Severus began to lower the boy onto the bed. To his surprise, Potter's hands flew to his dressing gown and gripped tightly.

"Don't put me down," Harry whimpered. He pulled himself closer to Severus' body, pulling the fabric away from Severus' chest.

Potter started a little and looked up again. "You're not wearing anything," he said.

"I am wearing a dressing gown, Harry," Severus said with a little amusement.

Potter shrugged and buried his head in Severus' chest.

"I can't sit here all night, Pot – er – Harry," Severus said.

"I don't care what you do," Harry said sleepily. "Just don't leave me alone."

Severus had a short internal struggle. He wanted to comfort Harry, but he didn't want to cross any lines. He made a decision he knew he'd regret later and carried Pot – Harry to his own room. He placed Harry on the bed and moved away quietly.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, sounding small and far away.

"I need to put something on," Severus replied gently. "I'll be right back."

"Hm," Potter said, and snuggled into Severus' pillows comfortably. Severus smiled in spite of himself. He slipped into a pair of black pajamas (with a top) and got underneath Harry. Harry whimpered at his dream and Severus wrapped his arms around the boy protectively. He stayed up most of the night, finally finding sleep near dawn.

TWO

Harry was lying in a field of colorful paper flowers. He was on his back, staring at a purple sky full of clouds that seemed to be made from candy. He turned his head and saw trees on the opposite side of the field. He stood and walked to one of these and found that all of the leaves were lollipops. The sun came up from behind a cloud and Harry felt himself engulfed in warmth . . .

Harry slowly woke up feeling safe and warm, the comforting beat of a strong heart in his ears. The beat of a strong…

Harry jerked awake with a nasty jolt. He found himself looking down at the sleeping from of Professor Severus Snape. Snape was wearing black cotton pajamas and looking like he was on cloud nine.

Harry began to panic slightly, barely able to recall the events that had led him to be in Snape's bed. He slowly crawled off of Snape so as not to wake his teacher. Once out of the bed he backed up into a corner, frozen by a sense of panic. He had abused Snape's position as his temporary guardian and was sure that once Snape woke up, he, Harry, would be sent back to Madame Pomfrey for the remainder of the summer. Harry sank to the floor, unable to take his eyes from the bed, though he could no longer see Snape.

After about five minutes, he heard Snape groan a bit.

"It figures," Snape said groggily. "Ungrateful brat."

Oh God, he hates me, Harry thought. He started to rock slightly. He's gone out of his way to help me and I took advantage of him. He's right. I am an ungrateful brat. I don't deserve his help.

Harry stared with wide eyes as Snape sat up and caught sight of him. Snape said something, but all Harry could hear was his own heart pounding in his ears.

Snape got out of bed and came over to Harry's corner. Harry followed Snape's progress with his eyes unblinkingly. Snape was saying something again, but Harry's panicked brain couldn't pick it up.

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry said in a rush. "I didn't mean to impose! I was just in so much pain last night, and I wasn't thinking clearly! Please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean to…"

"Harry, stop!" Snape said gently. "I'm not angry."

Harry continued to mumble his apologies quietly as Snape pulled him into a hug. Harry grabbed the material of Snape's pajama shirt into his fist.

"Sh," Snape said. "It's all right. You'll be all right."

"You're not angry?" Harry asked.

"No," Snape said in a kind voice Harry wasn't used to. "Why should I be?"

"I took advantage of your hospitality," Harry replied. "I've been nothing but a burden."

"That's nonsense," Snape said. "This is the Dark Lord's doing. I'll find a way to make the pain stop, Harry. I promise." Snape tightened his hold on Harry and Harry finally felt a small sense of peace settle over him at last.

"Thank you, Professor," he said.

THREE

Severus woke when the warm weight on his chest vanished. For a moment he thought that he must have been dreaming, but then he remembered Potter. Severus stretched his arms to the side and felt the empty expanse of his bed. He opened his eyes and found that the room was empty. He stretched and groaned at the pleasant sensation.

"It figures," he said, his voice slightly thick with sleep. "Ungrateful brat." I allow him to sleep in my room and I don't even get so much as a 'thank you'

Severus put his arms under himself and pushed himself up into a sitting position. In the now visible corner, Severus could see Harry crouching. Harry's eyes were wide with fear and he was rocking back and forth, staring at Severus.

"Harry?" Severus asked. "What's wrong? Was it another nightmare?"

Harry didn't reply and continued to stare at Severus frightfully.

Severus' heart rate went up a bit. He eased out of bed and came around to Potter's corner.

"What's wrong, Pot – Harry?" Severus asked again. "Say something." Severus knelt down in front of the frightened boy.

Suddenly Harry began to speak in a rush. "I'm sorry, sir," he said. "I didn't mean to impose! I was just in so much pain last night, and I wasn't thinking clearly! Please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean to…"

"Harry, stop!" Severus interrupted. He was thoroughly confused by Harry's behavior. "I'm not angry."

Harry continued to rock, mumbling things like 'I'm sorry,' and 'Please don't hate me'. Severus felt a surge of anger toward the Dark Lord and protectiveness for the boy roll through his body. He pulled Harry into a tight embrace, trying to block out the fear and pain with his arms. Harry grabbed Severus' nightshirt and held on as though his life depended on it.

"Sh," Severus cooed gently, trying to make this panic stop. "It's all right. You'll be all right."

"You're not angry?" Harry mumbled into Severus' chest.

"No," Severus said sadly. He never imagined he would see Gryffindor's Golden Boy in such a vulnerable state. "Why should I be?"

"I took advantage of your hospitality," Harry replied quickly. "I've been nothing but a burden."

Severus felt another wave of anger at the self-reproachful tone Harry spoke in. "That's nonsense," he said, forcing his voice into a gentle tone. "This is the Dark Lord's doing. I'll find a way to make the pain stop, Harry. I promise." Severus unconsciously pulled Harry closer, running through his new potion in his mind. He was still missing something, but he couldn't think what it was. Just as he was starting to feel the familiar frustration, Harry's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Thank you, Professor," he said.

Severus simply held Harry and didn't reply. I do not care for this boy! He told himself firmly. I am simply following instructions. He means nothing to me.

Harry made a backwards motion and Severus backed away to give the boy space.

Harry stood up and looked at the floor, tugging his shirt down with one hand and running the other through his hair. He began to laugh hysterically and didn't stop for several minutes. When he got control over himself, he sniffled a little bit. "I'm sorry, sir," he said. He tugged at his shirt again and still didn't look at Severus.

"For what?" Severus asked. Potter had been subjected to several very painful curses over the last month and Severus was concerned for the boy's sanity.

"I've had a really bad summer," P – Harry replied. "I'm not usually like this, but my emotions are a little frazzled right now."

"That's understandable, Harry," Severus said quietly.

"Why are you calling me that?" Harry asked uncertainly. He was still determinedly not looking at Severus.

"What?" Severus asked with confusion.

"'Harry'," Harry replied. "You always call me 'Potter'."

Severus' concern increased slightly. "You made me promise to call you 'Harry'," he said. "Don't you remember?"

Harry laughed again. "Not actually," he said. "Last night is a bit… foggy. I'm not even certain how I got in here." At last, he took a furtive glance at his teacher.

"You were frightened of being left alone," Severus replied gently. "I couldn't sit on your bed all night, so I brought you here instead."

"You brought me…" Harry said with surprise.

"Yes," Severus said, quickly taking advantage of the situation. "So, you see, you weren't taking advantage of anything."

Potter began to pace. "Voldemort was angry last night," he said, rubbing his head absently. He didn't notice Severus hiss and recoil at the Dark Lord's name.

"Do not speak the Dark Lord's name!" Severus said.

Pot – Harry gave him an odd look and then continued to pace. "I can't remember why, though," he went on. "It's all lost in a haze. Some Death Eater failed to do something…" He trailed off uncertainly. He kept pacing and mumbling a bit.

"Harry," Severus said slowly. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," Harry said shortly. He looked down at his pajama-clad body and blushed slightly. "I think I'll go dress." He hurried out of the room.

Severus stared after him for a moment and then closed the door. He dressed in his usual black robes and then went out into the sitting room. Harry was on his couch with his face in his hands.

"Harry?" Severus said uncertainly.

"I don't know what to do," Harry said quietly. "I feel like the world's been flipped over."

"I've already started my research on the potion. I'm sure that I'll have the answer soon."

"Why are you doing this for me?" Potter asked, looking at Severus through red eyes.

"Because no one deserves what's happening to you," Severus replied.

Harry nodded and turned to the fire. "Can I just stay here with you today?"

Severus sighed. "I'm sorry to do this to you, Harry, but I have to go to a Death Eater party this evening. I want you to stay in the hospital…"

"No!" Harry interrupted. "Can't I just stay here? I don't want to go back up there."

"Very well," Severus conceded, "but I'm having Madame Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore check on you every fifteen minutes."

Harry looked extremely relieved. "Thank you, sir," he said. Severus wasn't certain, but he thought that the boy was becoming attached to him. Damn the Fates and their sick sense of humor!

Author's Note: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I didn't realize it was this short until now. Oh well, what's done is done and all that rot. Thank you to Victoria Ennis for looking this over. Thanks also to…

Starangel2106: Who doesn't?

Jenni: I'm glad you think so.

Rosiegirl: I'll be changing small things here and there, but for the most part it will remain the same.

Sliver of Melody: Mike will get his, not to worry.

Jenni: I've been updating once a day so far. I'm forcing myself to resist the urge to just post it all at once. What would be the fun in that? Hehehehe… enjoy!

Shadow Eclipse: I believe I took it down from AFF, but I shall check nevertheless. I'm glad you like.

Leeleepotter: I imagine Harry's mouth fell open and his eyes got wide, a blush creeping up his neck at the imaging. Of course, I could be giving Harry too much credit. Hehehe

Ktoddhim

Medicated Drama Queen: Don't worry about it. What reviews you give make me smile. I am changing a few things here and there, but the major stuff is staying the same. You are not imagining things, m'dear.

Shiemi Shimabukuro: Not to worry, love. Mike is not a permanent character here. Can't say more though. I would hate to give away the surprise. Hehehe

SilentWater13: Mike will get his, but I can't kill him. He comes in useful later on. He will not, however, always be around. Not to worry.