Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or the song Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Reviewer Responses:

ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice – Thank you for the review. Dearka may have luck on his side but he might not, can't tell you just yet.

mutsu – Thank you for the review. It's perfectly fine that this is your first review.

sweet-but-evil – Thank you for the review. Yes Miriallia was a female dog wasn't she.

kari480 – Thank you for the review. Personally I hate Tolle all together, I just couldn't see how they had a relationship together.

blu-shadows – Thank you for the review.

DearkaKiksBigBum – Thank you for the review.

wIsTfuL-wIsHeR – Thank you for the review. You're actually the first to say anything about Luna, also from the looks of things only the single couples plus Yzak and Shiho going through hell.

Life Or Something Like It

Broken Life

Several days after Chapter 9…

'How do you tell a six year old who has never had mother that their mother wants to take her away,' Dearka thought. It had been only a few days after Ami's birthday and the news of Yzak and Luna's hospitalization. After that one Azrael Muruta, Miriallia's lawyer, called to tell him the date of the case. So here he was trying to figure out how to tell Ami about the slight chance she could be taken away from her father.

"Just tell her," Yzak barked over the phone.

"Do you know how hard that'll be," Dearka told him.

"Do it like a bandage, one swift motion right off!" Yzak screamed.

"Are you on the high on morphine right now?" Dearka questioned.

"No," He heard Yzak reply laugh evilly and then hang up.

'Note to self never let Yzak get high on morphine,' Dearka thought to himself, "Ami where are you?"

"In my room daddy," Ami answered.

"Come here princess we have to talk," Dearka spoke.

Ami then had walked into the living room where Dearka had been sitting. When Ami had climbed up on to the couch waiting for her father to talk Dearka almost burst into tears. 'Here goes,' he thought.

"Ami I have something to tell you," Dearka started.

"What is it daddy?" Ami questioned.

"It's about your mother," Dearka answered.

"Mommy?" Ami repeated staring at Dearka wide eyed.

"Yes, now listen your mother loved you very much," Dearka said.

"Loved?" Ami repeated again.

"Yes your mother wanted to give you away," Dearka said again, "But I wanted to keep you, and give you a loving uh family," he continued while trying to explain how their little family.

"Then what's wrong daddy?" Ami questioned.

"Your mom wants you to live with her now instead of me," Dearka answered.

"But I don't want to!" Ami screamed and launched herself at Dearka, "I want to stay with you daddy!"

Dearka gathered Ami into his arms and held her close while she cried. "I don't want you to go either," He spoke softly. 'How can this possibly get any worse,' he thought.

To the custody battle…(A/N: I know I look like I'm skipping a bit but there are parts that need to be done, also keep in mind that I have know idea about court and that it might look a little stacked)

Dearka paced the little room where himself and his lawyer were waiting for the trial to start. His friends and who he also considered Ami's family were all there. Kira and Lacus, Athrun and Cagalli, a whacked out of his mind Yzak and Shiho, and Rey and Shinn. Heine and Meryin were absent because they were visiting Luna in the hospital. Dearka believed Shinn should be there as well but he said he wanted to go when it was just the two of them. Yzak had told Dearka to not worry about anything but this. Yzak had even found a good lawyer for Dearka named Gilbert Dullindal.

"Are you ready to go Dearka?" Gilbert asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Dearka answered standing.

As Dearka passed by Yzak had told Dearka one simple thing to remember, "Keep your temper in check no matter what!" Dearka laughed at the irony in it, Yzak a man famous because of his temper was telling him to keep his in check.

As Dearka looked around he noticed Miriallia sitting at one table with her lawyer who in Dearka's opinion looked a little out of his damn mind. "All rise for the honorable Judge Seylan," spoke the bailiff. As Dearka rose he could see Ami also standing with a guard near her. When he had a good view of the judge he had paled. The judge was the father of a guy that graduated before Dearka and his friends. The guy was named Yuuna Roma Seylan or in Dearkas' personal opinion a pain in the ass. Yuuna had attempted at one time to date Cagalli, which of course was refused first by Cagalli, then by Kira when Yuuna tried force. After calling Kira and Cagalli's mother a few names, Kira punched him, when Yuuna went to punch Kira Athrun punched him, when he went to hit Athrun, Dearka punched him, when he went for Dearka, Yzak hit him and when Yzak hit's you stay down. 'God, that moron was a glutton for punishment,' Dearka thought laughing. When he realized that Yuuna probably had a grudge against Dearka and the others that his father was probably going to get back at him he whispered a low, "Oh crap,"

"As you know Mr. Elsman and Miss Haww we are here to solve the case of Miss Ami Elsman's custody," Judge Seylan said sneering at Dearka.

(A/N: I'm skipping a lot of parts straight to the point were Miriallia's lawyer is asking Dearka questions)

"How are you today Mr. Elsman," Azrael questioned.

"I'm all right," Dearka replied adding, 'If I wasn't here right now I'd be great,' in private thought.

"Do you think you are a competent father?" Azrael questioned.

The real answer would have been, "Well duh,"

The answer given of course was, "Yes," short, simple, and straight to the point. Just like practically everyone told him to do.

"I would beg to differ Mr. Elsman," Azrael continued, "I would think you are incompetent," the end came out with a sneer.

"Eh?" Dearka responded. The Judge Dearka noticed didn't say anything about what Azrael just said.

"We have video and witnesses showing that you are a bad father to the point that your daughter is running in the street," Azrael continued.

Judge Seylan of course perked up at this, "I wish to see this video and the witnesses,"

Over the course of one hour Dearka had heard supposed eyewitness accounts on how Ami ran into the street the day of the picnic with the others, and how he wasn't paying close enough attention. He then had watched the video of him diving and saving Ami, which of course was said that he almost endangered her life there. Dearka's lawyer Gilbert tried to fight back but he just couldn't do it, half way through Azrael pulled some photos out that showed Dearka hitting Ami. This of course made Dearka want to smack Azrael, his friends and lawyer all knew he never ever would strike his daughter, but people in the court and probably the jury didn't believe that. When Seylan called for a recess so the jury could find their verdict, Dearka had a sinking feeling in his stomach. It took over an hour to get the verdict, in the course of this hour Dearka couldn't see Ami and almost hyperventilated. Some how Yzak was able to switch with the guard watching Ami and take over and relay to Shiho who naturally told Dearka that Ami was scared but she was doing all right to the point that Dearka shouldn't worry. 'Shouldn't worry, ha, I'm probably going to lose Ami, and right now I can't talk with her, I'm really pissed right now,' Dearka thought. After he vented his anger to himself he had started drinking some coffee to calm his nerves. It wasn't working. The coffee just made his nerves all the more jumpy. When the time came to hear the verdict Dearka was wired on caffeine and not feeling well.

"May we here the verdict," Seylan asked.

"We had difficulty finding a verdict for this case," The jury member stated, "Both sides presented information of considerate important value,"

'Thank you Gilbert,' Dearka thought silently. It was of course thanks to Gilbert for at least bringing the truth out and showing that Dearka was a good father.

"But after seeing some crucial evidence, we have deemed that Dearka Elsman is not fit to have custody of Ami Elsman," the jury member finished.

Dearka felt everything stop. He didn't know if it was the caffeine or what but he just felt the world stop. Before him wasn't the courtroom or his daughter crying about wanting to be with her father or his friends screaming his name. What he saw were the moments he had with his daughter, the moments he never would have, and the moments that they could have had if Miriallia had stayed.

Later at the Hospital…

"Damn, feels like I was hit by a train," Dearka said to what he thought was know one.

"Well after a heart attack I think everything would feel a little weird," spoke the voice of who he believed was Yzak.

"Where are the others?" Dearka questioned.

"At home," Yzak answered, "You've been laying there for two days,"

"What happened?" Dearka asked.

"Like I said you had a heart attack,"

"But I didn't feel anything,"

"The Doctor said that with the amount of caffeine in your system your heart pumped too fast,"

"And Ami what about Ami?"

Yzak hesitated at the question. 'How the hell do you tell a man that he can no longer see his daughter,' Yzak thought.

"She's gone isn't she," Dearka said weakly.

"Yes, in the two days you were out Miriallia had gone and packed everything of Ami's,"

"How'd she get in to my place?"

"Me, I did it so that I could watch what was packed,"

"Thanks I guess,"

"Uh,"

"What?"

"I guess you wouldn't know," Yzak answered, "This whole thing has been played talked about and discussed in every friggin form of media,"

"Are you serious?" Dearka asked.

"Don't worry, for some reason your club's more popular than ever," Yzak replied trying to lighten the mood. How the club was doing was that moment was the least of Dearka's worries.

Meanwhile at Luna's room…

"So Luna how is the dream relationship with Shinn?" Meryin asked trying to get a different mood in the air. Luna of course had heard about Ami being taken away, hell it was on the news faster than anyone had anticipated. It wasn't the greatest way to learn something like that, the report was basically about how the great actress Miriallia Haww had secured the custody rights of her supposed daughter. Luna had wanted to throw up.

"It's all right, I guess," Luna answered.

"You guess, what's wrong?" Meryin asked when she heard the answer.

From the corner of his eye Heine, who also was visiting at the time, saw movement that was almost going to enter the room but jerked back at the name Shinn. Heine immediately knew who it was and instantly thought, 'Crap, please don't answer that question Luna for the love of God don't answer!'

"It's just that, he's so immature," Luna started.

'Son Of…!' Heine thought. He could see Shinn start to move closer to the door to hear.

"He just isn't as attentive as the other guys like Athrun and Rey," Luna continued. Meryin noted that she had said the name Rey just as dreamily as she use to say Shinn's.

"He's so arrogant, he believes that everyone should pity him because he lost his family," Luna stilled continued, "I guess that's why I cared about him, because he lost everyone, I just thought that I could help him get over it,"

It was when she finished that Heine noticed Shinn's shadow start to move away from the door. It was then that he bolted out of the chair saying, "I have to got check on something," leaving a bewildered Meryin and Luna.

Out in the hallway Heine could see no sign that Shinn had even been there, "Damn!" he cursed and walked down the hall to get a drink.

At Rey's…

Shinn now stood outside the door of Rey's apartment. He had heard everything that Luna had said. He knew he was these things, he had heard them all his life, but when it was from someone he cared about it hurt so much. 'Pity love, that's the only reason she wanted me,' Shinn thought bitterly, 'If it's the last thing I do I'll make her happy,' He then knocked on the door and waited.

"Yes," Rey's somber voice spoke.

"Here," Shinn spoke anxiously as he handed Rey the flowers he was holding.

"Wow Shinn I don't know what to say, I had know idea you liked me like that," Rey spoke sarcastically.

"They're not for you, you ass," Shinn barked, "They're for Luna,"

"Then shouldn't you give them to her," Rey said obviously confused.

"Trust me, they'll mean more to her coming from you!" Shinn barked again. He turned on his heel and walked away.

"All Rey could say was, "What the hell?"

One week later…

Shinn hadn't been to the club for work in over a week. Mostly because he was to depressed to work. Today also was the day Dearka was back at work after leaving the Hospital and his own personal problems. When Shinn walked into the office to talk with Dearka, the man there was definitely a different man.

"Hey can I talk to you?" Shinn asked timidly. Thinking of how Dearka must have been feeling the last thing he wanted to do was piss him off.

"Sure," Dearka answered brushing his hands together to get some dust off.

"Are you packing?" Shinn asked as he looked around. What he wanted to ask had completely left his mind after looking around.

"Yes I am," Dearka answered, "I've decided that it's time to expand my little club,"

"So what happens here?"

"Easy, Shiho's going to manage this one, while I go to Dominion to start the next one,"

"Wait, isn't Dominion on the other side of the country?"

"When I said I wanted to expand I meant it," Dearka answered with an obviously fake smile, "Now how can I help you?"

"I want to quit,"

"What, Why?"

"I just think it's time to move on," Shinn answered even though, he like Dearka, was faking his smile the whole way.

"All right, but I have to ask, what are you going to do?"

"I'm heading north to that city Archangel,"

"So when you want to move on you mean it,"

"Yes,"

"What about Luna?"

"I personally don't want to talk about it,"

"Ok, but what about money a place to live?"

"I'll figure it out when I get there,"

"Hmmm," Dearka said humming, "I know what I can do,"

"What?"

"I have a friend up there, he runs a restaurant, and he owes me a favor,"

"Whose that?"

"His name's Nicol Amalfi, now mind you his restaurant is pretty swanky if you know what I mean, he's always looking for help, he'll hook you up with a job after I call him,"

"Thank you Dearka," Shinn said extending his hand.

"No problem," Dearka responded as he, instead of shaking hands, hugged Shinn in a tight embrace.

"So when do you leave?" Shinn questioned before he left.

"A few days," Dearka responded.

"Then since I won't be there to say it goodbye," Shinn said as he walked out.

Few days later…

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

Dearka was in a taxi heading to the airport. Earlier he had sold his car for some extra money and was getting ready to leave. He had even stopped at everyone's apartments to say goodbye so that he wouldn't have to deal with it at the airport.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

"Hello Mr. Elsman," spoke the teller. (A/N: Also known as the people who give you your ticket, I've never flown so I wouldn't know)

"Hello," he answered politely.

After he paid for his ticket he got the, what he believed at this point in his life, now mandatory have a nice day.


I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

With Shinn…

Shinn hadn't even told anyone he was leaving. The only person who knew was Dearka and well if you counted Luna. Before he had left he had stopped by when he knew she would be asleep and with no one visiting. He had walked in and lightly kissed her lips before he said goodbye and left.


My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

The wait was killing Dearka. He had wanted out of that city as fast as he possibly could. He didn't want his friends catching him and make him go through a said goodbye. 'Great I sound like Yzak,' Dearka thought as he flipped through a magazine.


I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Shinn was all ready on the road and heading out. He had sent a resume ahead of him so that Dearka's friend had it before he arrived. He had the radio going and had been listening to a song that fit the moment. Dearka told him that it was a long it was a long drive and he wasn't kidding.


Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

"There he is!" Dearka heard someone scream. He had a hard time telling who it was, it was either Cagalli or Yzak.

He turned around his question was answered when Yzak punched him. "What were you thinking trying to leave with out telling us!" came his hollered voice.

"I said goodbye," Dearka responded as he rubbed his jaw.

"Well moron it would be nice to know if when you left," Cagalli said also smacking Dearka.


My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

"Ya Uncle Dearka you should say bye-bye," Nina pouted.

"Ya Uncle Dearka," Kian added.

'Great guilt me with the kids,' Dearka thought.


Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

"NOW BOARDING, DOMINION," spoke a voice.

"Time to go," Dearka said standing up.

"Goodbye Dearka," Athrun said hugging him. Both Athrun's wife and son hugged him as well.

"Good luck out there Dearka," Meryin said also hugging Dearka. Heine just nodded his head and added "Good luck," as well and slapped him on the back. Rey did the same except he shook Dearka's hand.

"Try to have fun ok," Lacus said as she Kira and Nina all hugged him.

"Thanks for leaving me all the work boss," Shiho said with a laugh as he hugged him.

Dearka then stepped up by Yzak who looked as if he could kill him. "Well this is it isn't it,"

"Ya it is," Yzak responded as he glared at Dearka.

"Take care of your wife," Dearka started, "And make sure you make your mom proud and give her a grandchild,"

"Shut up get on the plane and good luck," Yzak said as he smiled at Dearka's joke. The two friends hugged and Dearka headed for the gate.


I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

As the group watches a man that most of them had grown up with they believed that this might be the last time they see him. He walks down the hall to the plane and boarded.

When Dearka boarded the plane he ordered a drink so that he could calm his nerves. When it arrived he raised his glass to himself and said, "To my new life,"


My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

TBC…

Later Days…

Well there's the latest chapter. There are still a few chapters left so please don't worry. Please continue to read my story and review. And remember about the court scene I have know idea, I don't watch court cases, and I really don't want to ever end up there so ha.