Chapter Twelve
Suspicious Behavior
ONE
Harry was irritated. He sat in Transfiguration, tapping his fingers on the top of his desk waiting for McGonagall to arrive. He was aware of the people who kept throwing him nervous glances, but he was doing his best to ignore them.
"Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione whispered to him. "You seem annoyed."
"I'm fine," Harry said. "I just wish people would stop staring at me." He didn't bother to lower his voice and a few people turned hastily to the front of the room. Hermione looked like she was going to say something, but McGonagall came in and class started.
The end of November brought terrible snowstorms and all Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology classes were cancelled.
"Come along Harry!" Snape called from the other room. "You're going to make me late!"
Harry rolled his eyes and stood up slowly. His back was hurting because of a vision from the previous night, so his movements were very deliberate. Snape looked distinctly irritated when Harry entered.
"Finally," he barked, moving to the door. "Let's go." He walked out and Harry followed him as quickly as his injured back would allow. They were oblivious to the fact that when Harry had taken the potion, it would wear off last week of the month. Thus, Snape was unaware of Harry's injury because the bond had been severed when the potion was in effect. Harry grimaced slightly as he sat at the Gryffindor table.
"Are you all right, Harry?" Ron asked, seeing Harry's face.
"Fine," Harry replied, eyeing Umbridge distastefully. The last thing he needed was for her to find out about his visions. She'd probably give him another week's detention. Ron followed Harry's gaze.
"Yeah, she makes me feel sick too," he said, thinking Umbridge was the cause of Harry's discomfort. Harry didn't bother to correct him.
"She makes everyone feel sick," Hermione said, reading the newspaper as she ate.
"Didn't you read that this morning?" Harry asked her.
"I can read it again if I like," Hermione replied.
Harry shook his head and started on his dinner. It was still early when he began to feel his scar prickling. "I think I'll go to bed," he said, standing up. His face contorted in pain and he gripped the table when his robes rubbed along his back painfully.
"What's the matter, Harry?" Hermione asked her voice filled with concern.
Ron gripped Harry's arm to steady him. "Maybe you should see the nurse," he said.
"I'm fine," Harry said, straightening up. "It's just some side effects from being sick." He gave his friends a bright smile to prove his point.
Hermione didn't look convinced, but she said, "Okay, Harry. Good night."
"See you in the morning," Harry said and walked out of the Hall; many eyes following him.
When Harry reached his room, he redressed his wounds and then got into bed. He lay shivering for some time before sleep finally claimed him.
TWO
Severus was slightly concerned when he watched Harry leave the Great Hall. The boy looked like he was in pain, though Severus couldn't think of a cause for that. He scanned the Great Hall and his eyes rested on the Slytherin table. Draco was staring at the doors of the Hall as though he had been stricken.
Albus had informed Severus of Draco's change of allegiance, but Severus didn't trust the boy. Draco was a true Slytherin with all of the selfish cunning that set Slytherins apart. Nothing Draco was thinking could be anything good. Severus wondered why Harry's departure should upset Draco, but he decided that he didn't want to know.
Severus waited several minutes before deciding that Harry wasn't going to come back. He rose from his chair and walked back to his rooms swiftly. He stood at Harry's door and listened carefully. When he decided nothing was wrong, Severus went to take a hot shower. As he bathed, he found his mind wandering to the past, as had been happening more frequently since Harry had fallen ill.
Thirty-seven-year-old Severus stood by the lake at Hogwarts, his sense of betrayal and hurt pulsating through his heart. He could hear the grass crunching behind him and knew that Jason was approaching.
"You're being silly, Severus," Jason said, stopping next to Severus. He bent and picked up a rock. "This was my decision, not yours."
"You knew how I felt about all of this," Severus said, not looking at his lover. "You knew it would hurt me. That's why you didn't tell me. How could you do this? You've heard the stories I've told you about the torture, the death! I thought you were better than this!" His anger was coursing through his veins, mingling with the hurt and betrayal until he couldn't distinguish between them.
"I wanted the power," Jason said. "I wanted to feel his magic and know that I shared in his vision. I would never betray you, Severus. I won't ever tell him that you're a traitor to our cause."
Severus restrained himself from hitting Jason, choosing to turn his back and walk away instead.
Jason threw his stone into the lake and went after Severus, grabbing his arm to turn him around.
"Do not speak to me about being a traitor!" Severus snapped. "You were supposed to be better than me! You were supposed to be stronger than this! You promised me you would never join him, and look at what you've done!" He wrenched up Jason's sleeve to reveal a hideous skull with a snake for a tongue, the Dark Mark, as black as night on Jason's left forearm.
"Do you think you're so righteous?" Jason asked coldly. "Have you forgotten that you bear the Mark as well?"
"At least I've done something to try to make up for it," Severus growled. "You're nothing. You're worthless, and I want nothing more to do with you!"
"Would you throw away all of our years together?"
"You threw them away the day you became Lucius' Vent." Severus turned sharply and stormed back to the castle. He couldn't imagine what he'd done to deserve such torture. He was back to being a Death Eater after nearly fourteen years and his lover had betrayed his trust…
Severus ran his long fingers through his damp hair, trying to dispel the memories plaguing him. He didn't know what was bringing these thoughts to his mind, but he wanted nothing more than to forget his past completely. For some reason, every time he looked at Harry he felt a strong sense of sadness and helplessness. He'd made a promise to protect Harry; a promise he should've known he wouldn't be able to keep.
Severus set his journal aside and rubbed his eyes. "I really should sleep more," he mumbled. As early as he'd gotten in bed, it was now nearing 3 a.m. Just as he lay down and closed his eyes, he heard a pained moan from Harry's room. Severus was out of bed in an instant, and a moment later, he was in Harry's bedroom.
Harry was asleep, buried in heavy blankets, but his sleep was restless. Severus sighed in relief; it was only a nightmare. He went back to his room and collapsed onto his bed in exhaustion, falling asleep immediately.
THREE
Severus was sitting at his dining table, sipping a mug of tea and reading The Bubbling Cauldron quietly when he heard a sharp knocking on his door. Grumbling, he stood up and opened the door, revealing a stern looking Albus.
"How did I know it would be you?" Severus asked dryly, walking back to his seat. Albus came in and closed the door.
Severus looked at him stoically, waiting for him to continue.
"I think it would be best for you start the Occlumency lessons."
"No, Albus," Severus said at once. "I've told you, he needs to get stronger before we start with that."
"The less of that potion he needs, the better," replied Albus. "Occlumency will ensure that he can defend his mind from Voldemort without the potion."
"His magic needs time to heal, Albus" Severus said. "The potion allows him to stay strong while his magical centers regain their balance. He can start Occlumency once he's strong enough."
"I don't think he's being entirely honest with us about how well the potion is working. I saw him walking by the lake today and he looked like he was in pain. Has he told you anything?"
"No," Severus replied in annoyance. "I've asked him, but he denies that anything is wrong."
"Then you should find out whether he is telling the truth," Albus said sternly.
"He hasn't had any visions, Albus," Severus said through clenched teeth. "I would know. I would have heard him."
"Start the Occlumency, Severus, "Albus demanded. "I think he is ready. I also think that to wait any longer could be disastrous. By this time next week, I'd better hear that he's making progress."
"Very well, Albus," Severus groaned.
"Good day, Severus," Albus said and turned back to the door.
Severs growled in reply and Albus left chuckling.
"Sit down, Harry," Severus said later that afternoon. Harry complied, though his movements were slow and deliberate.
"Is something wrong, sir?" Harry asked.
"Yes," Severus replied. " I want to know why you're in pain."
"I'm not in pain," Harry replied. Severus was impressed that Harry kept a straight face. He began tapping his foot and Harry started to squirm. "Well, maybe I am a little sore," Harry said after a short uncomfortable silence.
"And why didn't you ask me for help?" Severus asked.
"It's not bad," Harry said. "I can take care of it myself."
"And what is causing this mysterious soreness?"
"The potion wore off during the last week," Harry replied. "It's not as bad as it was before, but I can still feel a little bit."
"I see," Severus replied. Surprisingly, Harry had managed to convince Severus that Albus was right; Harry needed to start Occlumency immediately.
"It's not a big deal," Harry insisted.
"Professor Dumbledore requests that I teach you Occlumency," Severus said after studying Harry for a moment.
"What's that?"
"Occlumency is the practice of shielding your mind from magical attacks. Legilimency is the exact opposite, attacking someone's mind to discover the thoughts hidden there. The Dark Lord is a very practiced Legilimencer. His proficiency in Legilimency is what allows him to know when someone is lying to him. Only someone who is equally proficient in Occlumency, such as myself, can lie to him without detection. Occlumency will also protect you from foreign thoughts or images the Dark Lord might decide to place in your head. If you become proficient in Occlumency, the potion will no longer be needed. You will be able to block out the visions without aid."
Harry swallowed. "What does learning… Occlumency involve?"
"It is difficult training. You have to clear your mind of all thoughts and emotion. After you've learned to do that, I will attempt to break into your mind with a spell and you must try to block me out."
"Okay then," Harry said, taking a deep breath. "When do we start?"
"Immediately," Severus replied. "Whenever you find yourself with nothing to do, I want you to sit quietly and practice clearing your mind. You must also clear your mind every night before you go to sleep."
"What will that do?"
"It will reduce the frequency and intensity of your visions. It will also reduce the likelihood of the Dark Lord putting false images in your mind should he discover your bond with him."
Harry nodded and looked down at his lap. "I can do that," he said after a moment.
Severus nodded. "Do you have any homework you need to finish?"
"No, sir," Harry replied. "I've already done it."
"Good," Severus said. "Now go on and start practicing. I'll call you for dinner."
Harry stood up and slowly and moved into his rooms.
FOUR
"Harry, are you listening to me?" Hermione asked as Harry simply looked at her calmly.
"Of course I'm listening, Hermione," Harry said. "I don't see what you expect me to say."
"Something along the lines of 'yes' or 'no' would suffice," Hermione said irritably.
"I'm not a qualified teacher Hermione," Harry said. "What could I offer to anyone?"
"More than that Umbridge hag!" Hermione exclaimed. "If we keep with her curriculum, not only will we fail our O.W.L.s, but we'll also be killed if we come into contact with any Death Eaters. You can help us! You can save our lives by teaching us to defend ourselves!"
Ron nodded agreeably. "She's right, mate."
Harry regarded them calmly, thinking over their proposition. He knew he should feel self-conscious or annoyed, but he had reached the next stage of his Occlumency lessons: practiced calm in stressful situations. "When you say 'we', whom exactly are you talking about?"
"Ron and me, of course," Hermione said. " And I don't think we should exclude anyone, should they like to learn."
Harry nodded. "I need to think about it."
"You do that," Ron said. "Christmas break starts tomorrow. You can tell us when we get back."
"That sounds good," Harry said, standing from the table. "I've got some work to finish before we leave tomorrow." He left them looking after him in surprise. He reached his room and began working on a lengthy Transfiguration essay, the last bit of homework before the Christmas break.
"I still don't agree with your plans," Professor Snape said from the entranceway.
"I haven't seen Sirius in ages, and I'm sure he's been worrying himself silly," Harry replied not looking up from his homework.
"You're insufferable," Professor Snape said. "What if something happens to you while you're there? Black would not know what to do."
"Ron and Hermione will know to call you if something happens," Harry told him, still not looking up.
"I don't know if-"
"Professor Snape," Harry interrupted, finally turning to look at the sour Potions Master. "You know more about me than anyone else I know."
"So?"
"So you should know that I never intentionally put myself in harm's way for nor reason at all. Sirius loves me and will put his pride aside if it means you can save me. Don't worry so much."
Professor Snape sighed. "Very well, but just because you're on holiday doesn't mean you can neglect your Occlumency."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Harry replied, turning his attention back to his essay.
FIVE
Hermione scratched out another paragraph as she found new information in the Transfiguration tome on the table in front of her. The subject of human to animal transformation fascinated her in a way no other magic did. Although the essay she was working on didn't require more than a passing comment on human to animal transformations, Hermione had decided to dedicate a good portion of it to the subject.
"You're a little off topic," a voice drawled behind her, startling her out of her concentration. She turned and found Malfoy smirking at her.
"What do you care?" she asked coldly, turning back to her work.
"Just curious about why your essays are always so long," Malfoy replied. "Now I know, it's because you go off topic."
"Why don't you go and pester someone else?" Hermione asked.
"I think that is uncalled for, Granger," Malfoy said, pulling out a chair, turning it backward, and straddling it, facing Hermione. "I'm just trying to make civilized conversation."
Hermione eyed him distastefully. "You're vulgar," she said. "And you've never given me a reason to want to have a civilized conversation with you."
"Oh, that's just cruel," Malfoy said, not sounding hurt at all. "You're friends with Weasley and he's more vulgar than I am. Don't you believe in second chances?"
"Not after four years of Hell, Malfoy!" Hermione hissed through clenched teeth. She began packing away her things. "You think I don't know what you're up to? You just stay away from all of us! Especially Harry!" She checked out her book and stormed out of the library. As she walked down the hall, she nearly ploughed Ron over, dropping her books in the process.
"Oh, sorry, Ron," she said, crouching to retrieve the books.
"No problem," Ron said, helping her. "What's the hurry?"
"It's just Malfoy," Hermione replied. "He was in the library. God, he's such a prat."
Ron smirked and took some of Hermione's books. "That he is," he said with a slight chuckle.
"It's not funny, Ron," Hermione said, feeling irritated. "He's up to something."
"Maybe you're being paranoid," Ron suggested.
"I am not being paranoid!" Hermione snapped. Her mind was back on the night she had found Malfoy in the hospital wing. He'd looked calculating and suspicious on that occasion, watching Harry with a keen eye and listening to her conversation. "He's curious about Harry," she said slowly. "He might be spying for his father or something."
"What makes you think he's curious about Harry?" Ron asked becoming interested.
"I went to visit Harry one night when you were doing homework, and Malfoy was there," Hermione said. "He wouldn't leave and he woke Harry up. I wanted to hex him but that would have made too much noise. He keeps coming around and trying to talk to me."
"Billywigs," Ron told the Fat Lady, for they had arrived at Gryffindor Tower.
"Last week he gave me tips on the Herbology work (as though I needed his help) and then he offered to help me write the essay!"
"Maybe he's more curious about you," Ron suggested.
"That's disgusting Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "That Death Eater would never be curious about me, and if he was I'd slap him."
"But you've already done that once," Ron said. "You should use a variety of assaults to hurt him."
"Oh, be serious, Ron!" Hermione snapped. She took out her essay and continued where she left off.
"What?" Ron asked.
"I'm voicing serious concerns here and you're spouting about how I should hit Malfoy," Hermione replied in an irritated tone. "What if Malfoy really wants to hurt Harry?"
"He won't do anything at Hogwarts," Ron said. "And he won't be able to find us with Snuffles. There's nothing to worry about."
"Yet," Hermione mumbled.
"Oh, come on, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed. "Harry's going to spend his first Christmas with Snuffles and I don't want you to ruin it with your suspicions about Malfoy!"
"But he needs to know!" Hermione argued.
"Tell him after we get back, then," Ron said, crossing his arms.
"Ron-" Hermione started.
"No, Hermione," Ron interrupted. "If you tell him and ruin his Christmas I won't speak to you for the rest of the year."
Hermione stared at Ron in disbelief, wondering when he'd gotten so good at arguing. "All right, Ron," she conceded. "But I'm telling him as soon as we're back at Hogwarts."
SIX
Sirius gave the three Gryffindors a very warm welcome at his home. Number 12 Grimauld Place doubled as Sirius' ancestral home and the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. Sirius had volunteered the house to Dumbledore as long as Harry could stay with him for the Christmas and Easter holidays. Dumbledore agreed with Sirius' conditions albeit a little reluctantly.
"It's great to see you again, Harry," Sirius said, embracing Harry tightly, causing the boy to grimace in pain, though Sirius didn't see it.
"You too, Sirius," Harry replied. He'd been very excited to see Sirius again and now found himself smiling broadly. Sirius showed him around the house, which seemed to be a stronghold for dark wizards, but Sirius explained his family so Harry wasn't worried.
"Molly is making dinner now," Sirius said. "I love her cooking."
Sirius was in a wonderful mood as Christmas approached, decorating the house and singing Christmas songs. He kept a close eye on Harry and spent a lot of time with him. Harry was very happy.
"Happy Christmas, Harry!" Ron cried, startling Harry from a peaceful slumber.
"Go away," Harry grumbled, turning over in his sleep. Grinning mischievously, Ron yanked the blankets off the bed. Harry sat up and glared at Ron, which was quite a feat because he still looked sleepy. "Prat."
"I know," Ron said, grinning broadly. "Now, come on! Open these presents!"
Harry smiled a little and picked up a large heavy gift that felt like a book. It was from Hermione. It turned out to be a book on advanced defensive magic.
"She really wants me to teach that class," Harry commented dryly.
"Yeah," Ron agreed. "So, are you?"
Harry shrugged noncommittally and moved to the next present. "I'm still thinking about it," he said. When he reached the last present he gave Ron a questioning look, for the gift was a flat unmarked envelope.
"Open it," Ron said, eating a chocolate frog from the box Fred and George had given him. "Maybe it's a love letter."
"Shut up, Ron," Harry said distractedly. He opened the letter and frowned at it.
'Dear Potter,
'How is life treating you? Considering it's you, I'm willing to guess the answer is "abysmally". My life is quite satisfactory, thank you. I'm writing to you to give you your Yuletide gift. I call it "Yuletide" because "Christmas" is just so… Christian, don't you agree? But, alas, I digress. You must be wondering what caused me to sit down and write to you, of all people, so I'll attempt to make my point quickly. I am tired of fighting with you at every available opportunity and wish to call a truce.
'I know what you're thinking… "What the hell has gotten into you, you sodding prick?" or something similar so I shall attempt to explain myself so that you might understand me somewhat, though I don't expect full comprehension from you. My explanation could turn out to be long-winded and rather tedious for someone of your limited intellect, so I'll give you the simplest explanation: our childish squabbling no longer amuses me and I've no wish to continue with our petty rivalry. While you may not see the need to change our…arrangement, I believe it is entirely beneath me to continue with a fight started over a simple handshake. How utterly idiotic could we get? Now, to business…
'I was walking along one day, passing the library as it were, when what should I hear but my favorite Gryffindor trio talking in hushed tones in the corner nearest the door? Well, my natural Slytherin curiosity was piqued so I thought I might listen in. Being the cunning spy that I am, I decided to hide out in the open, that is, in the shadows pretending to read a book, and listen in.'
"He's been spying on us," Harry said.
"Who has?" Ron asked.
"Malfoy," Harry replied.
"What?" Ron asked. "How did he…"
Harry held up a hand and continued reading.
'It seems that my absolute favorite Gryffindor hero, namely you, has been commissioned by his friends to teach them and "anyone who wishes to learn" if I remember correctly, Defense Against the Dark Arts. Now, I'm certain that you can imagine my surprise. I've come to the conclusion that learning to fight Dark Magic would be easier to accomplish if you had a working knowledge of Dark Magic. I won't say anything more here, but I would like to schedule a meeting with you and the rest of the Dynamic Trio after we return to school. Consider the truce your Yuletide gift. I'm looking forward to meeting you in the flesh back on Hogwarts' grounds after our well deserved, however religious, holiday. Here's to the future, Potter.
'Sincerely Yours,
'Draco Malfoy'
Harry frowned and read the letter over again. "I don't get it," he said.
"What does he say?" Ron asked.
"He asks for a truce and offers his services to help teach our Defense group."
Ron stared for a moment before regaining his composure. "Er… do you believe him?"
"The letter is rude, insulting, and decidedly sarcastic," Harry said, "but I'm compelled to believe him. It was a risk, sending me a letter here. Why else would he, if he didn't mean it?"
"Maybe it's a trap," Ron suggested.
"I don't think so," Harry said, still perusing the letter. "He wants to meet."
"I don't think you should meet him alone," Ron commented.
"You misunderstand me, Ron," Harry replied, putting the letter back into its envelope and placing it on the table next to his bed. He looked Ron in the eyes. "He wants to meet with us."
"Us?" Ron asked.
"You, Hermione, and me," Harry clarified. "I need to talk to Professor Snape." He stood up and moved to the door.
"What does Snape have to do with this?" Ron asked.
"Professor Snape knows Malfoy better than any of us," Harry said. "He can help." He picked up the letter and left the room.
SEVEN
Severus was sitting in his chambers, enjoying a glass of absinthe, when his fire flared up and Harry stepped out of it.
"What are you doing here?" Severus asked, the drink dulling his irritation significantly. "Shouldn't you be with your mutt?"
Harry eyed Severus's glass distastefully. "You're drunk," he said.
"I am mildly buzzed," Severus corrected. "But still coherent enough to attend to whatever was so important to bring you here in the middle of your holiday."
Harry held out a white parchment envelope.
"Why, Harry," Severus said dryly. "I didn't know you cared."
"Just read the bloody thing, Professor Snape," Harry said, shaking the envelope irritably.
"Language, Potter," Severus said, taking the letter. "But as you're on holiday, I won't take points."
"How very generous of you," Harry said. "I'll have to remember you in my will."
Severus smirked, opening the envelope. "You've been living with me for too long."
Harry smirked in return, but didn't reply.
Severus' eyes narrowed as he read the letter. The writing was definitely Draco's, his elegant scrawl being very difficult to copy. The insulting and sarcastic tone was most decidedly Draco. Something was bothering Severus about the letter, though he couldn't place his finger on it.
"You know something," Harry said. "I can tell."
Severus gave Harry a calculating look.
"Spill it," Harry said, sitting in the armchair.
"Draco has already spoken to Professor Dumbledore about his… allegiances in this war," Severus said carefully. "I'm not certain as to the probity of his claims, but he seems sincere. I would be… careful at this meeting with him."
"So you think I should go?" Harry asked.
"Yes, but I will accompany in stealth," Severus replied. "Now, I want to know about this class he mentioned."
Harry flushed slightly, but otherwise remained stoic. "Hermione thinks it would be a good idea if I helped some people with Defensive Magic," he replied. "She says they'll fail their O.W.L.s if I don't."
"They will," Severus commented. "Umbridge is useless. Speaking of, you should be careful flooing into Hogwarts. Umbridge might be monitoring the network."
Harry snorted in disdain. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Make sure that you do," Severus replied, sitting back and sipping his absinthe. "Was there anything else you wanted?"
Harry passed a gift to Severus. "Happy Christmas."
Severus stared wordlessly at the package, wrapped meticulously in Slytherin colors. "I… why?" he asked after a moment.
Harry shrugged. "You took care of me," he said carelessly. "You were nice to me. If you don't want it, I'll return it." He reached out for the gift.
"No," Severus said. "It's not that. I was… surprised. I… I didn't get you anything."
"I wasn't expecting anything," Harry replied apathetically. "Think of it as a 'thank you'."
Severus removed the silver bow and tore open the green paper to reveal a thick, black, leather-bound journal with the words 'My Potions' inscribed in the cover in golden letters. It was beautiful. Severus told Harry he thought so.
"I'm glad you like it," Harry said. "I need to get back. I'll see you at the start of term."
"Yes," Severus said, attempting indifference. "Enjoy the rest of your holiday."
"You too," Harry said, throwing floo powder into the fireplace. "Don't drink too much of that." He indicated the bottle of absinthe. "It'll addle your brain." He stepped into the flames, yelled the address and disappeared from view.
Severus looked back at the journal and ran his fingers over the engraving. He'd never seen a journal like it and suspected that Harry had it personalized. It meant more to him than he liked to admit.
Author's Note: Have I mentioned that you guys ROCK? If not… YOU GUYS ROCK! Okay, I'm better now. Thanks to Victoria Ennis for her work on this chapter. Thanks also to…
Shiemi Shimabukuro
Starangel2106
Sword and Magic
Medicated Drama Queen: It's fine if you want to print them out. I don't mind at all. Ktoddhim has the story on her computer, so I won't make you type them all out and send them to me, or scan them, if you have a scanner. Too much trouble, really. Thanks for offering though.
Tamyka
Ktoddhim: Hehehehe, I do that too. My addy is Menecarkawan at (use the symbol, I didn't type it because ff . net deletes it) aol . com Thank you so much for sending it to me, by the way. It would have been lost forever… hehehehehehe
Mariana
CogniDi
Shadow Eclipse
Euphoricallyevil: It will be quite some time before Harry and Severus actually do get together. I wanted Harry to be at least sixteen before that happy moment. I didn't want it to be too CHAN, after all.
Jujube15
Sh'arra Rie: I shall try again.
Sliver of Melody: LOL
LeeLeePotter
Kateri1