Black, a suikoden fanfic

Disclaimer: This isn't my game, I don't work for Konami, and I sadly don't own Jowy.

This fic is just going to be a comprehensive story from the night before he poisoned Agares to the end of the game. I'll try to update semi-frequently, and I hope that at least someone will read it. The title is Black because it was originally going to be a song-fic of the song 'Black' by Pearl Jam. Any reviews are greatly appreciated, and please point out any fallacies in the Suikoden II timeline that I mat have made. (The two trips to Greenhill gets scrambled in my mind, as do other things.)

I lie in my bed, surrounded by nothing but the night and bloodstained sheets. My head is going in circles as I realized that I, for the first time in my life, had loved a woman. Although the physical fulfillment was undeniable with a woman as beautiful as Jillia, I found myself feeling empty and bastardly. I knew I was just using her for personal gain and I saw just how fragile she really was, but I found myself caring less and less about her emotional well-being. Aiming to the very top was the only thing I needed to worry about, and I wasn't about to become a lovesick fool and let it interfere with my plans.

The night was dead still, and I shivered as I got out of bed. Quickly, I grabbed a robe. L'Renouille was beautiful in the fall, but it was especially chilly as well. I had put myself in a pretty dangerous position. Going through all this just to assist the man I planned to murder seemed pretty strange at first, but to secure my position, I had to do this. The first part of the plan wasn't as hard as I thought it would be; I created a little chaos in the paradise of Greenhill, and the tides of battle quickly turned my way. And with Seed and Culgan vowing their loyalty to me, the battle against Luca Blight got a little easier.

As a noise sounded in the distance, my thought process was broken. I looked up as Jillia came back into the room, slightly smiling. I meekly looked at her since I didn't have the heart to fake yet another smile. I just wanted to disappear right now, since I knew I couldn't hide my guilt from her. Tomorrow I was going to murder her father, and try to do it as guiltlessly as possible. I couldn't believe how corrupt my thoughts and become in the last few months, like a heartless mercenary looking for his reward for the kill. Leon Silverburg had carefully orchestrated this intricate plan to bring down Luca Blight, but I had no idea what his real intentions are. I needed his guidance but I certainly didn't fully trust him yet. If Luca really does die, though, then I will know that Leon is truly on my side. There is so much to ponder on this cold autumn night, but my mind kept drifting back to the pale princess beside me. She seemed so abused and reserved, and I really did feel bad about using her for my plans…

But not nearly bad enough.

Today, I would become a knight. The last knight of King Agares.

For the first time in ages, my thoughts turned to my mother and father. I wondered vaguely if they'd hear about their traitorous and disowned son becoming a Knight of the Highland. It's not as if it really matters what they think anymore, but I'd enjoy seeing the looks on their faces. I could feel a slight self-satisfied smirk beginning to cross my face, but I immediately suppressed it. It was merely an hour before my knighting ceremony, and it was about time to see Leon about my poison.

Apparently I had a look of concern on my face from the second I walked into the older man's room, because he immediately asked me about my condition. "I know this is slightly unnerving, but you're going to have to trust me. You want this war to be over, right? Then you're just going to have to live with the fear. This is your destiny, and you must fulfill it." He nodded toward the Black Sword Rune on my hand. I took the vial of poison from him and began to slowly sip the serum, and became light-headed. The world quickly began to blur, but I nodded toward Leon to acknowledge the effects. I stumbled back, and grabbed the side of the wall to keep from falling over. Good God, what am I doing? What if something goes wrong and I die?

Leon seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, because he said, "If it hasn't killed you by now, you're fine." Well, that's… comforting. I wanted to respond but my jaw muscles were so tense I could barely move them. The rest of my body was as sluggish, but my thoughts were going crazy in my head. Leon grabbed my arm and walked me back to my room, and we quickly prepared for the ceremony. I had regained some control of my body, but my right eye violently twitched in anxiety and anticipation and I was shaking nervously. I had begun to become more and more light-headed, and knew I needed to hurry.

King Agares Blight was a pleasant looking man; his gingerly and fatherly demeanor was surprising beside his psychotic and extremely disturbed son Luca. He looked fearful, as if he had almost resigned to his fate already. I felt sorry for him, but there were some things that just needed to be done. If I could someone resolve this war without massive bloodshed, then killing this indecisive man who allowed his son to rule over his life was just going to have to happen.

Even that oblivious bastard Luca could tell I was about to fall over in dizziness, so he babbled a few words and sipped the wine. I could barely hear myself think at this point, let alone comprehend other people's speech. I grabbed my knife, shaking, and slowly cut into my skin, and dripped blood into the goblet of wine. A solemn smile began to creep unto my face, and I handed him the goblet. The king drank the wine slowly, and before he could even speak, the poison gripped him and he cursed his son. I tried my hardest to stay standing as long as I did, and as soon as I realized the king was dead and I didn't need to stay up anymore, I knew I could sleep. Before I even took a step, my head became cloudy and the world went dark…

"Destiny… this is your destiny!" The black haired woman in her creamy white robes spoke, her voice ringing out in symphony. I heard my own heart pounding, the pulse of my adrenaline beating in my ears.

"Why does my 'destiny' force me to fight my best friend and shed the blood of innocent people? Why couldn't I have been a normal soldier, with a normal life? Was this written in the stars?" I asked the mystic a myriad of questions, but had already disappeared.

I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and began to see visions. Visions of myself leading the Highland army into battle, and reuniting the peaceful land under one rule.

But as I looked more and more, the image became more twisted. Their benevolent leader and king was less and less kind and friendly, and his eyes were filled with rage and obsessive lust for the kill. Cities were demolished in the name of progress, and thousands of people were butchered. People cried out in pain and suffering as they were executed for opposing the overlord of the Highland. This king had become a vicious dictator. Just like Luca Blight…

My eyes opened and I sat up in my bed, my sanity shaken by these haunting nightmares. A meek looking female nurse looked at me, and she smiled at me a little bit. "C-c-commander Jowy, are you feeling okay?"

"How long have I been… out?" My forehead immediately began to pound, and I could feel my face grimacing in pain. The images of myself as a tyrannical dictator continued to blast my mind and my stomach began to ache.

The woman was a bit pale, and she bowed. "For nearly three days, sir. I am certainly glad to see you awake, though!" She was very young and had bright blue eyes that radiated kindness. "Lord Leon said he wanted to see you as soon as you awoke. Do you mind if I send word to him, sir?" This little woman acted a little shy toward me, as if I would do something to her if she made any mistake. It was thrilling yet scary to wield that kind of power over someone. I had been an aristocrat all of my life, but I've never felt feared before.

"Not at all, go ahead." I really did need to talk to Leon to figure out what the hell we were going to do next.

What seemed like hours was in all likelihood merely a few minutes before Leon Silverburg showed up. Leon waved his hand to signal that he wanted to speak with me alone. As the nurses scuttled away, Leon began whispering his plans. "We must take action quickly, before Luca gets out of our hands. He's already sent Kiba and Klaus to their deaths against the Liberation Army, and he'll try getting rid of all the Agares loyalists before too long. While they might trust you more than they trust Lord Luca, some of them are suspicious of your intentions. We can't allow them to just die, though. They'll cooperate with us if they must. Jowy, are you even listening to me?"

I was half-listening to his rambling, but the majority of my mind was thinking about Jillia and wondering how I could gain her trust after murdering her father. Then again, her trust meant nothing, since I was going to be marrying her anyway, and there was no way she could stop it. I felt guilty about things…. It was really hard on me being so deceptive. I suddenly realized Leon was staring at me, and I looked at him. "Yes, I was listening, go on, go on." My head was really killing me as I tried to listen.

"You realize you are going to have to improve your listening skills if you want to become an effective ruler." He seemed a little annoyed at me, but I think he realized I was still tired as hell and not focused, so he let my inattention be let go… this time. I nodded at him, and he smiled. "Glad you understand, at least. Now get some rest, milord." He smirked a bit at me, gave a slight bow, and left the room, leaving me to my various thoughts…

I lay down on my bed and attempted to sleep, but my thoughts kept drifting in a thousand different places. I was shocked when I saw Riou in Greenhill; it sent a shiver down my spine in fear and anxiety. I vaguely wondered exactly how he got into the college town without any suspicion, and automatically my mind went to the ways I could repair such a breech in security. Any large-scale lack of protection like that could be costly to an empire. I slightly chuckled to myself, realizing I was thinking like a cold logician rather than my emotional self. It was so weird the way things worked. A year ago Riou and I were attached at the hip by friendship; now the threads of destiny attached us. We were forced by circumstance to battle, and the mystic Leknaat said we would battle until one of us lost. He seemed a lot less happy than before the war, since he was forced into being the hero of the Liberation Army. Nanami… seemed to miss me a great deal, let alone Pilika. I knew that I didn't need Pilika to be around me though. Not only did I not want her near that monster Luca Blight, but also I'm afraid I'll second-guess myself with her around. She was such a sweet girl, and I knew how much she suffered after the death of her parents. Just thinking about that massacre makes me sick.

This is why I must persevere. I must eliminate that monster, that abomination, from this planet. I don't care how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to kill that evil son-of-a-bitch if it's the last thing I do. And I'll do anything for him to die, even sacrifice my own life. As I drifted off to sleep slowly, these thoughts lingered with me…