ACT I

FADE IN:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—KITCHEN—AFTERNOON

We find JO finishing putting up some dishes when who should come home from work but SAM. They give each other a 'hello kiss'.

SAM
Guess who scored two tickets to the theater tonight?

JO
What? How?

SAM
A client had a couple of spare ones and asked me if I could use them.

JO
That's great!
(beat)
Oh, but wait. You said tonight?

SAM
Yeah.

JO
But Lanny's supposed to sleep over tonight.

SAM
Lizzie can watch him and Matt.

JO
No, she can't. She has a date with Gordo.

SAM
That just means we'll have to find someone else to baby-sit.
(beat)
How hard can it be?

CUT TO:

A SHORT MONTAGE TO "YAKETY YAK" BY THE COASTERS:

INT. KITCHEN—AFTERNOON

Jo is on the phone and gets a negative response.

INT. LIVING ROOM—AFTERNOON

Sam is on the phone and gets a negative response.

EXT. SIDEWALK—AFTERNOON

Jo is trying to reel in a neighbor. No dice.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD HOUSE—FRONT PORCH—AFTERNOON

Sam is trying to solicit a sitter. The door closes in his face.

End of Montage

CUT TO:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—LIVING ROOM—AFTERNOON

Sam and Jo are lying on the couch, exhausted from trying to find a babysitter—all to no avail.

SAM
I can't believe there isn't a single person available to baby-sit…

JO
(disgruntled)
Tell me about it. Even Mrs. Carribino said she couldn't do it. And I know she doesn't have plans…

Enter Lizzie.

LIZZIE
Mom? Dad? You okay?

JO
(exhausted)
Oh, we're fine honey. We've just been trying to find someone to baby-sit for Matt and Lanny tonight. Your father got tickets for the theater for the two of us.

LIZZIE
You should try Kate. She baby-sits.

SAM
Hey, that's right!

LIZZIE
I'll see you later. I have a date of my own to get ready for.

Lizzie exits.

SAM/JO
Kate…

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—LIVING ROOM—A SHORT TIME LATER

The doorbell rings, the front door opens, and there stands KATE.

CUT TO:

INT. SANCHEZ HOME—MIRANDA'S ROOM—AFTERNOON

We find Miranda sitting on her bed, deep in conversation with Lizzie and GORDO.

GORDO
(to Miranda)
I don't know what you're worried about. You'll go to a taping for a children's show—

DIGITAL STILL:

Miranda, obviously enjoying herself, surrounded by a studio audience full of little kids at a taping of the "Clover and Daisy" show.

BACK TO SCENE

GORDO
--But you're afraid to show your face at a science fiction convention?

MIRANDA
That's not the same thing at all!

GORDO
(deadpan)
Really.

MIRANDA
Okay… So maybe it is. But that's not the point!

GORDO
And the point would be…?

MIRANDA
It's just that it's a—a sci-fi convention! It's so—so geeky!

GORDO
And Tudgeman isn't? Miranda, you're already dating the King of the Nerds. I really don't think going to a convention at this point will 'lower' your social status any…

ANIMATED LIZZIE
Like it or not, when Gordo's right he's right.

MIRANDA
Fine.
(beat)
But you two are still coming with!

ANIMATED LIZZIE
Say what?

GORDO
Fine with me.

LIZZIE
Gordo!

GORDO
(defensive)
Hey, I happen to like science fiction. Besides, Adam West is supposed to be there, and I wanted to get his autograph.

LIZZIE
You mean you were going to go to this thing anyway? Without me?

GORDO
You're not into this sort of thing. I didn't think you'd want to go.

ANIMATED LIZZIE
I don't. But that's not the point!

The trio sits there—the dye having been cast—they're going to go.

CUT TO:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—LIVING ROOM—LATER

We see Kate sitting on the couch watching television while also filing her nails. Enter MATT and LANNY.

MATT
Hey Kate, would you mind helping us with a, uh, project?

The boys share a malicious chuckle before wiping it off their face when Kate turns towards them.

KATE
Sure. What kind of project?

MATT
You see, we're trying to get our merit badge in knot tying, but we just can't seem to get the hang of it. Can you help us?

KATE
What kind of knots are you trying to tie?

Lanny instantly whips out their scout book and points to a diagram.

KATE
Let's take a look…

CUT TO:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—LIVING ROOM—A SHORT TIME LATER

Kate is thoroughly tied up from head to foot in ropes with complex knots.

MATT
You're right Lanny. We are starting to get the hang of this!

KATE
Um, that's great. I guess.
(beat)
Mind untying me now?

MATT
Uh, 'untying'?

KATE
Yeah. I want out of this.

MATT
We were just told to tie 'em. We don't learn how to untie them until next week.
(beat)
Oh well.

The boys skip off blissfully; leaving Kate still tied up.

KATE
Hey. Hey! Come back here! Matt! Lanny!

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER

Lizzie, Gordo, and Miranda are surrounded by people and booths. All manner of science fiction and fantasy franchises are represented. All manner of costumed and un-costumed individuals mingle around.

ANIMATED LIZZIE
Who'd have ever thought a person could feel underdressed at a sci-fi convention!

GORDO
I knew I should've worn my Vulcan ears…

LIZZIE
Gordo!

GORDO
Sorry.
(beat)
So, where's Tudgeman?

MIRANDA
I don't know, but if he's stood me up—

Enter LARRY TUDGEMAN dressed in full "Lord of the Rings" regalia.

LARRY
(dramatic)
Hail far maidens. And Gordo.

GORDO
Hey Larry. Cool costume.

LARRY
Thanks. Took me two months to make it.

He turns towards Miranda and offers her his arm.

LARRY
(dramatic)
If m'lady will be so kind as to escort me, we shall tour the festivities.

Miranda plasters a sickly smile on her face, then, when Tudgeman isn't looking, she looks back at Lizzie with a look that says, 'get me out of here!'

GORDO
Come on Lizzie.

Gordo pulls her along.

ANIMATED LIZZIE
Talk about boldly going where no girl has gone before!

CUT TO:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—MATT'S ROOM—DUSK

Kate enters looking for Matt and Lanny. She's still trailing bits of rope from having untied herself.

KATE
Alright you little monsters! Oooh, what I'm gonna do to you!

But she finds the boys aren't there. But there is a note from them.

MATT (O.S.)
Lanny and I went to the convention center. Will be back later.

Kate yells in frustration.

END OF ACT I